I just don't understand sometimes..

xneurocentric · 3 days

This is a really interesting way to look at it. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure how religious my friend is. I've never seen or heard of her going to church, and her husband is pretty non-religious, if I remember correctly. But the way she's been talking and how her family has been talking, I'm wondering if the religious speak comes out when something scary happens.

In the case of my boyfriend, however, his mother is completely Conservative Right Wing, yet she supports gay marriage, but thinks Obama wants to turn everyone Muslim. Don't ask.

xneurocentric · 3 days

Like I've said before, I don't have a problem with the fact that she's asked for prayer. What I don't like is that she - and mainly her friends - believe that the prayers that are working.

I'm not planning on actually saying anything, I'm just expressing how uncomfortable it makes me, and I figured this subreddit out of all would understand. Not saying you don't understand, but just making a general statement.

xneurocentric · 3 days

And that is fine, but what I do not like is when they depend on these "prayers" to either cure this child of his disease, or depend on it to prevent the disease from happening. They need to be realistic.

xneurocentric · 3 days

In this situation, a time where a child's health is in the balance, I feel it's not right. I will not take his un-diagnosed illness as a chance for me to tell them that how they choose to deal with a situation is wrong. It doesn't matter how vehemently I disagree with their praying. I just can't do that to them while they're wondering if their kid has cancer or not.

xneurocentric · 3 days

Thank you! Yes, it was quite difficult to see him go through everything - the anniversary of which is coming up on June 7th - but he's doing wonderful now.

Normally, I'm fine with people having their religion and what works for them. I've even volunteered with a Christian group around here in their medical clinic, doing various pieces of work here and there. But when people completely disregard science and medicine in terms of faith, that bothers me. Maybe it's because I was trying to become a physician and believe fully in medicine. I'm not sure.

xneurocentric · 3 days

Thank you, I definitely will. Like I said, tomorrow they will do a biopsy on a lymph node to completely rule out lymphoma, as the tests they've been doing have not been able to give them a 100% confirmation of cancer.

xneurocentric · 4 days

Not sure why you're asking this again. I answered your question.

xneurocentric · 4 days

I'm bothered by the fact that they think that praying is going to anything to help that child. The last thing I want is for him to be diagnosed with cancer, and for my friend to experience that heartache. But to believe that those prayers are actually doing something when they're not.. it sets people up to believe something that isn't actually there.

xneurocentric · 4 days

Hey, no worries. I wasn't arguing, but just merely asking for a confirmation about what I'd heard the definitions were. To be honest, I have no idea what I truly classify myself, but "religious" definitely isn't one of them.

xneurocentric · 4 days

Thank you.

That kind of thing makes me so mad. I think I read somewhere how they were telling people that their AIDS would be cured if they just prayed or something messed up like that. If my friend asks for prayers, I give her my good thoughts and hopes. I hope that if a diagnosis is cancer, that they can easily pop him into remission by catching it relatively early. But I won't pray that some invisible deity will cure him of something that can only be cured by medicine.

xneurocentric · 4 days

I agree with you. If God had already figured out what he's going to do, then why do we pray?

And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought Atheists just believed firmly that there is no way there is a God, where as Agnostics are still wondering from time to time.

xneurocentric · 4 days

I would never ever say anything to her about it, but I just really feel like all the prayers in the world won't do anything. She even says, "The prayers are paying off." No, they're not! If he doesn't have cancer, then he never had it to begin with, and it's something to check off the list. And if he does, then it was already happening before anyone could notice.

I hate that she's going through this, but I also hate that she's depending on prayer to get them through.

xneurocentric · 4 days

And I never said I would try to.

xneurocentric · 4 days

I was actually less bothered by the fact that people were praying. It was when the news was looking up that people began to credit the prayer. One person had even gone as far to say things like "We pray that you heal this child, <insert name> because you are the grateful healer," and blah blah, and it just bothered me.

xneurocentric · 4 days

I'd much rather give credit when it's needed, definitely. Like, "Oh, I'm glad that the doctors found out it's not cancer!" or something like that.

xneurocentric · 4 days

I would just rather let them know I'm thinking of them, instead of praying. I feel like prayer is something that is so empty. If something were to happen, and cancer was the diagnosis, all they would say is "God has a plan for everything," or some other nonsensical bullshit. But they wouldn't realize or admit that their prayers did nothing.

prossk · 4 days

I don't really have experience with this in the same way others do, but let me give slight back story and perspective.

My parents split when I was a baby, and I didn't see my father until I was about 7 or 8, when I got visitation with him for four hours every two weeks. We mainly did things like me helping him deliver flowers for a florist, or something like that. I could tell he cared for me, but it almost never felt truly natural. One day I was supposed to see him for Father's Day (I'd made him a present at school) and he never showed. That night was filled with my mother's expletives to him over the phone.

I didn't speak to him again until 2003, when I randomly found him on White Pages. We talk, but he never calls me really. His wife (my step mom) recently put pictures up of him with my young step sister at a daddy-daughter dance. Broke my heart.

My point is, be there for her. She looks up to you in a different way than her mother. She wants to be like her mother, but she wants to loved unconditionally by you. You're the first male figure in her life, and how you treat her ultimately makes her realize the type of things she will look for in a guy. I can't completely tell you that the absence of my father contributed to my issues, but it certainly gave me a different - and incorrect - view on how women should be treated.

ShoryukenBarbarian · 4 days

Good man.

Just see where the chips fall. Good luck!

senatorjht08 · 4 days

But he said "Not from Atlanta." That's why I got confused.

senatorjht08 · 4 days

What does Atlanta have to do with anything?

ShoryukenBarbarian · 4 days

I don't think it's fucked up per se, but I wouldn't blatantly flirt to try and make it happen. If you're just acting like normal, and things happen in your favor, then they do. But don't force it to happen.

wildefan · 4 days

Vacation, I'm assuming.

castastrophe · 5 days

I loved that effin' blanket.

ProductiveVeteran · 5 days

I haven't read all the comments, so this has probably been said, but -

Always say I love you, if you're at that point. Even if you have a fight, just say it. Say it before you go to bed, even if you're deciding to sleep off the anger. Life changes in a second, and you don't want the last thing you said to be something of hate.

xneurocentric

TROPHY CASE

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