Mages, what are the biggest misconceptions in your field?

nthensome · 4 days

With all due respect to our esteemed colleague Foo-Flinging-Baboon, I believe the historically-accurate answer to be:

As shown in this medieval-era relief of a catapult in operation from the Basilica of the Ancients in Rome. It is captioned in Latin, which roughly translated states: ""I told you guys to slow down and take it easy, or something like this would happen".

jesushx · 14 days

Oh, please. This has nothing to do with computing equipment. And you've even got the date wrong!

This is clearly the work of 1960's fitness scientists at Harvard testing the effects of sauna boxes for weight loss. This was round 2, after they worked on mice, and before they moved to chimps, eventually moving up to human test subjects. In larger chambers, of course.

Elgebar · 16 days

I recommend a hearty dose of Potion of Sigmoidolubricum. Taken orally it should rapidly move to the problem location by means of the tiny colonic imps that crave it. Once it takes hold the wand should come free with the gentlest of tugs accompanied by the most violent of discharges.

Then it is up to you to decide whether you want to cleanse and remagify your wand, or to order a fresh one.

Hansafan · 17 days

I've updated the fruit-related dilemma in the original. You don't want to read it. Trust me.

purplesoap · 17 days

This being the top-voted answer I went for it. Unfortunately the only growth potion I could get my hands on in my encumbered state was an all-or-nothing deal. Proportions would remain the same.

I ended up grinding up some gecko to mix with some transmogrification powder and went the autotomy route. Trust me, you don't want details. Don't worry, they're already coming in again. But having my voice drop again all these years later is somewhat disconcerting.

Hansafan · 18 days

Have you tried charming it off and then on again?

Sorry for the terse response. Still testy over recent events.

I shouldn't have said testy.

SGToliver · 19 days

the article in question. For science.

Boldprussian · 21 days

Sadly, this is a common injury. And due to our need to sit and stand frequently it is difficult to rest the area sufficiently to let healing occur. It will take a while.

For now I recommend the usual treatment for a broken bone: immobilization. You'll need to have a cast put around the affected area, which unfortunately involves sealing up the entire pelvic region. Once the entirety of the pelvic region is firmly cast under the plaster your doctor will be able to drill and saw relief holes in the appropriate areas. The vibration of the power tools will be unpleasant, but brief. If he's any good he'll fit the holes and/or slots appropriate to your gender with rubber grommets for comfort. Otherwise get yourself some duct tape to seal off the ragged edges.

Otzil · 23 days

While the attire and behavior of the persons, events, and message is period-accurate the exercise cycles used weren't introduced until the 1900's. But other than that, entirely on-the-spot, yes.

jesushx · 26 days

They piranha-ed an entire aircraft hanger? Damn. Sheep is the shit.

jesushx · 27 days

Latrine!

ahhmyeyeball · 28 days

Don't worry, you've still got time. Once the matching growth starts on the lower eyelid then you need to be worried. This is your body attempting to grow skin over the eye, the two parts will meet but can't join while you're blinking. It is when you are asleep they'll have time to bond.

To be safe, I recommend setting alarms every two hours each night. When it goes off make sure to blink a lot, tear apart any of the strands of new flesh that are attempting to bridge the upper and lower eyelid.

If you do wake up and find that the eyelids have grown together at a point you'll need to see someone to get them cut apart.

Definitely see your dermatologist if multiple points of eyelid joining appear or if it spreads to the other eye or the mouth.

edify · 28 days

All the discussion about DRJ needing a safe place to ride out the universes being destroyed, I thought the machine room would be the spot. Just as they were about to turn it off I half-expected DRJ to walk through a wall with some guns and take over.

Or a big glowy hole in the air appears and five more Walters step through saying "will you two stop f*ing around, you're breaking all the other universes now!"

purplesoap · 1 month

I'll have to consult with a shitty lawyer, but I believe that my acceptance of the post-donation cookies and juice constitutes payment for my blood-letting and acceptances of all their terms and conditions, so I'll be unlikely to recover further damages.

But... speaking of powerful sedatives, if you were to have any on you...

purplesoap · 1 month

Yes. Yes, I am.

purplesoap

TROPHY CASE

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