How long has it been since you attended church regularly? The message, at least in my area, has changed dramatically - particularly in the last ten years.

The church I attended hasn't heard a lesson like the ones which you described learning (helping others, loving others) for years. A couple of years ago, I quoted some of the things Jesus said in a political discussion with a friend from the church I had attended and they didn't even recognize what I quoted as Jesus' words! Sad, sad, sad.

I quit attending services when the pastor started feeling compelled to tell the congregation what to think and how to vote politically several years ago. The extremely conservative political agenda he "preached" was completely opposite of what Jesus taught, as best I could understand of what he was saying from the pulpit and what I knew from independently studying the bible.

In the south, at least the part of the south with which I am familiar, one's social network is largely dependent on church activities/friends and one is looked down upon if one doesn't have a church affiliation and attend regularly. It affects one's business opportunities, social activities, friendships, etc. When I quit attending, many things changed in my life, none of it having to do with anything I was doing, but rather what I was not doing, which was attending the church.

By the way, it was a Southern Baptist church, so I am aware that not all churches are like this. I hope not anyway.

tl;dr: Please don't base your religious opinions on what religion used to teach. It is no longer that way, at least where I am.