Catholic Church's actual opinion on homosexuality

fearunlovednerd · 2 days

The same as any other individual performing sexual acts outside of marriage. It's a sin.

The trickier part is how do you address known sinners, homosexual and heterosexual. That is where individual biases show up, and the clergy of the church sometimes openly disagree with each other.

Outrageous_Takes · 25 days

A lot of it, as with any other subject is hard work. If you had to work at things and learned how to do it (both what you were working on and how to stick with tough things), then you'll be in better shape then many people who were able to coast.

I've been developing for a number of years, and it's still valuable to have someone look at something if I'm feeling stuck. On the same note, rubber ducking with a little input can do wonders. Just ask the person doing the finding to verbalize what they are seeing. You'll learn from it.

Basically, if you like it, keep at it. If you aren't sure, just keep an eye on learning from everything you are doing, and keep moving towards what you enjoy. There are many paths that lead easily away from programming.

(If you end up at a small company, you'll end up doing requirements, design, testing, documentation, as well as coding. At a large company, these tend to be divided across more specialized people. Those are just the blatantly obvious paths. )

On the same note, ask someone you trust, and ask for honest feedback from your boss at the internship. Nothing in what you wrote sounds unusual, and people that know you are likely to be better judges.

Outrageous_Takes · 25 days

As stated above, if he doesn't like the day to day work of coding, there are lots of other ways to go. He'll be ahead of the game in testing if he likes paying close attention to detail or requirements analysis or IT if he prefers working more with people.

ducation · 1 month

well,

"using" is a dead give away. Java uses "import"
string isn't String
Debug.Assert isn't normally seen in java, but it's not a dead giveaway
The naming scheme isn't camel case, but not a dead giveaway

Vailhem · 1 month

Interesting, are there weather cycles do those dates line up with? (should be in bed, otherwise I'd be looking it up.)

TheIndigoSky · 6 months

Not when you are still looking/hoping to date them. By definition, if they are giving you an answer (other then their current relationship status), then you aren't likely to be able to change that (unless specifically told so, ie. stop drinking, drugs etc. and I'll consider it then ).

If you are friends with them and their friends, you can definitively get an answer later. It just has to be part of a group discussion, where you aren't expecting to ever go out with them.

In short, with an open group of coed friends, you can get real advice. I don't recall doing it, but I've been there when friends have done it. (On the other hand, I have gotten real advice from ex's who stayed friends, so I might have an unusual group of friends.)

defshepherd · 6 months

At least in Pennsylvania, you are mistaken. The regulations that apply to state organizations are the same the apply to private organizations. In fact, the children are usually still wards of the state, so the state provided outside observers would typically be the same people in either case.

Any organization that did not fire someone who is abusing the kids would be facing the same legal treatment that Penn State has been getting recently. This is true of both public and private organizations. The same cover ups could happen at any organization, public or private. When abuse isn't taken seriously, the organization folds quite rapidly. (I'd also note that private organizations usually have a lot more freedom to remove an employee then public organizations. Clergy ... the one exception to this, are freely moved around and aren't likely to be worse then publicly unionized employees.

At the two private residential facilities my wife has worked at, almost all the clients are considered wards of the state, and there really aren't any public institutions that could take their place. I did get the impression from an uncle that Illinois is missing this intermediate level that my wife works at, but that is a topic for a different discussion, and I don't know the details that well.

defshepherd · 6 months

In short, I'm against publicly funded discrimination.

I'm also against legally imposing one's beliefs on private organizations. Publicly shame them when appropriate, boycott them, etc ... please go ahead. Point out any and all hypocrisy, as individuals in any church tend to have them. As long as they aren't harming others, or harming themselves and expecting to be bailed out, then the government should leave them be.

I'm not sure that we disagree on any of this.

The way I see it, the Church running the foster program should make it more likely to get additional foster parents through awareness of the issue. If it wasn't public money, and the kids were getting out of the foster program at a relatively normal rate, and there are other options out there available for non-traditional couples ... then, really, what would the harm be? Granted, these important limitations and assumptions weren't written down with the original posting.

If these assumptions are accurate, where is the harm? On the same note, if you can provide me with numbers showing they aren't, please enlighten me.

defshepherd · 6 months

Foster care and adoptive homes have lots of problems. I'd much rather have them in carefully selected foster homes then hastily selected anything else. Now I don't know specifically about Illinois, but it's a common problem in most foster care programs.

My wife works in residential facilities for youth, and it's scary how many of them end up back there, or even in there the first time because of bad foster parents (and/or the system messing up in other manners as well). (I'll add that the idea of the church basement is completely mistaken as to how the system work, at least in the mid atlantic states.)

Foster kids, by definition, are placed with foster parents. The kids should be free to reject the couple wanting to adopt them because same sex parents bring additional social difficulties to what has already been a difficult life. I'm not a fan of banning gay couples, but if they were consistent in forcing all adoptive couples to be in a Catholic recognized marriage, it would be completely consistent with their beliefs.

For this reason, I'd hope that they continue to run adoptive agencies. If the parents want to be picky, but being picky is leading to saved lives, then it seems like everyone wins. As long as there are other choices, it seems like a net gain for society. There is no current shortage of demand for healthy american born babies.

So I can see where they are coming from. Personally, I'd rather have them in a stable loving family, regardless of the gender of the parents. The more healthy adults actively involved, the better for everyone involved.

defshepherd · 6 months

Which is why it makes sense for them to get out of foster care, where the state is paying the bills.

As long as the state isn't paying them to discriminate, where is the harm?

AdoptedOne · 6 months

Now, if you are a mandatory reporter in PA, it can be a crime not to report the hearsay evidence. My wife works as a social worker, the basic rule is if you are thinking of calling ChildLine, then call ChildLine. Note, this has changed since the alleged incident took place, so JoePa is not subject to this rule.

AdoptedOne · 6 months

If this happened today (in PA), JoePa would also be charged with the same crime. It no longer matters if you reported it to your boss, you are now equally liable if it doesn't get reported.

GhettoGardener · 7 months

Plant a pot with the mint in it. Most mints are happy to grow along the surface and plant themselves.

Either way, expect to cut it back heavily every year.

My parents now have 3 different patches of mint. The spearmint is about 3 feet by ten and the chocolate mint is the same. The peppermint is now probably closer to 20x20, growing through the stone around my the garden. So I'm keeping them in planted and/or above ground pots at my new place.

redditluv · 7 months

Which is why they shouldn't be causing grief by imposing on their kids ...

redditluv · 7 months

What in that comment indicated that everyone needs to enjoy the wedding? I just said they should be able to be themselves, rather than worrying about everything and being stiff.

Unless you're on national or international TV (IE royal wedding), what is there to really worry about?

Now not everyone is going to love the wedding, but worst case scenario one can practice striking up conversations with people who they know very little about. You'll be in much better shape for your next interview, or if you ever want to get to know someone.

redditluv · 7 months

Sigh. If you are in your right mind (not highly intoxicated, etc.), then you should be able to be yourself without offending everyone around you.

I've been to formal weddings, but I've never been to one where people were expected to be phony. I guess I just got past worrying about what everyone else thought after high school. If you are having fun, and not disrupting others, then you are probably doing it right.

redditluv · 7 months

Planning for a wedding can be a good way for a couple to work together, but it can also be the start of the wife (we are talking about a wedding here, men do it elsewhere) imposing her will on her soon to be husband and not listening or communicating with them. They are also possibly introducing money issues right at the most difficult part of the marriage, which can be a hard habit to break later.

redditluv · 7 months

As long as they are able to appreciate the gestures and intentions, and not drive themselves crazy worrying about all the details on the day of the wedding.

Spending that amount of money makes it harder for some people.

redditluv · 7 months

My wife's parents were worried she'd get chocolate on her dress.

We had a second out of state wedding reception for family where we included the chocolate fountain.

It sound like you did it right, congratulations!

redditluv · 7 months

When you do this, you can always plan a small reception later ... backyard barbecue, or whatever fits in your budget. (Or an anniversary celebration in your case, but I was throwing it out there for anyone else who is thinking of doing this. One of my wife's friends had a great barbecue after announcing their elopement on facebook.

redditluv · 7 months

What the parent's want matters heavily when they are paying for it. I've heard of far too much grief coming from parents when they were just imposing on their kids. What the extended family wants depends on family relationships, but it should be a tertiary concern.

redditluv · 7 months

Very good point. If they are spending more time worrying about the wedding then each other, then they are looking at something will probably have to be addressed in the future. Unless, of course, they are planning on being married and are happy and can afford to have separate lives.

redditluv · 7 months

Two of my friends from college are in a legal civil union. (Straight, just don't believe in marriage.)

At the last wedding of friends from college, where she was the maid of honor, we complained that they needed something dedicated to celebrating them and their relationship. They saw the point.

Now, the problem with some people comes from the assumption that it will be the best night of their life, and if something goes wrong it's ruined. The bridal couple needs to be able to delegate the ins and outs to others. Since my wife wasn't worried about it, she was free to celebrate all that did go right, and forget/ or laugh about the things that weren't quite perfect.

I'm a guy, so I thought it was an amazing time, but I wasn't worried about the details. My wife was successful in reaching the same point and enjoying it for what it was.

redditluv · 7 months

You're going to the wrong weddings, or are focusing on the wrong things. If you are there with people you know and enjoy spending time with, then they'll enjoy it. If the other people there are close friends of your parents, then they'll either enjoy the time with the friends, or hopefully enjoy meeting new people.

If it's all family, who just feels obligated to be there, then you're doing it wrong ... and I really feel sorry for the parents and the couple. The only complaint I noticed with our wedding was that we stuck a solo friend, who's boyfriend couldn't make it at the wrong table, and the person we asked to make sure she was comfortable didn't succeed.

The rants and raves I heard and saw were genuine. I'm not sure how much my in-laws spent (which does make a big difference) ... but they had saved for it and wanted to do it.

If people are drowning in worry that everything won't be perfect, or spend all the time worrying about how to deal with people they don't want to spend time with, then they'll suck.

Of course, if you don't like spending time talking with people, or dancing, or drinking (but not to the point of illness and disruption) then I can see why you'd feel this way. Just take the time to see the people you are there are celebrating and happy, and try to enjoy it for them.

lief79

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lief79

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