What causes a woman to just drop everything and stop returning calls/texts?

itrewitallavay · 3 months

No definitely not sarcasm.

I'll bet the more you pester her, the more she'll run away and ignore you.

Exactly. No pestering.

they either stalk you like a crazy, become highly abusive, or go into self pity mode and beg

There are other ways to maintain contact with someone than these 3 options.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

case in point, lol!

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Time frame also matters. 5-7 dates in 6 months isn't much, but within 2 weeks it's a lot of contact.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

How is this sexism? Does anyone here know what sexism really is? I am not discriminating against women, I merely described a tendency. Pointing out differences in men and woman is not sexism. I never said women are crippled mentally by a condition that limits what a they can or can't do, yet this seems to be everyone's instant knee-jerk reaction.

Please back this up. Prove to me that describing a tenancy for women to be flighty in relationships is sexist.

Go ahead and ask any man you know that has experience with woman, ask them how many times in their life a woman has flaked on them and then ask them how many times they have ever flaked on a woman. The trending difference you'll notice is in orders of magnitude.

The fact of the matter is that women have stronger neural synapses in their brains which allows information to move more freely and faster between right and left lobes. Men on the other hand are bound to focus more intently on any the given task at hand because information isn't moving back and forth at nearly the same speed. This accounts for women constantly accusing men of "thinking with their dick" when presented with the option of dating/attraction. Men tend to focus while women tend to analyze. I'm not talking about conscious decisive thinking I'm talking about an underlying foundation of major psychological differences between the sexes. Women can decide within a snap second before having sex or some kind of physical escalation that "this isn't a good idea" and get turned off, this is straight up impossible for a man who is getting physically ready for a sexual encounter. Women have evolutionarily developed biological and psychological defenses against unwanted pregnancy, and for selecting the best/proper mate.

tl;dr: I never said that ALL women in every culture and every situation are predetermined to exhibit set behaviors, I never even disparaged women in general in any way. Merely understanding and pointing out gender/sex differences is not sexist.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Yes I see where you are coming from. I believe that this comes from a fight or flight mentality.

plenty of times for me, i've been dating a guy, having a good time then BAM he'll do or say something that brings things flooding back and I just think "shit I can't do this"

Damn, now that is something I hadn't really considered. Thanks for the insight! :)

from past experience they either stalk you like a crazy, become highly abusive, or go into self pity mode and beg.

Yes! This is exactly what I have been avoiding. To be quite honest I am not a begger, not abusive, and not a stalker. She earned my attention throughout our dates and time spent together, and I earned her affections. She said to me "you have me all figured out, you read me so well" and it's not like I was trying to read her and figure her out, we were just conversing naturally and things developed how they did. My point is if I continue to try to contact her without being needy in the ways that you described, but just casually, friendly, and direct she'll at least have to own up to the experience and tell me off directly herself.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

couldn't be bothered to reply to his texts

This is kind of absurd isn't it? A text takes 2 seconds. No disrespect but I can't help but see this kind of behavior as incredibly selfish and juvenile.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

I'm happy for you things worked out, however as a guy it's impossible to take the passive approach and hope things work out. As a woman you have the luxury of waiting until a guy that fits your personal criteria comes along, but as a man we are essentially forced into taking decisive action if we want to meet and get to know women that we are attracted to. It's just the nature of male/female interactions and the laws of attraction. But I do see deeper into what you are suggesting which is to divorce myself from the need for companionship. That I can do though it is not easy. I am perfectly capable of moving on having learned as much as possible from my experiences. I am not emotionally attached to this particular woman, I am just flabberghasted at her behavior. I'm just trying to find out how common it is for woman to act like a girlfriend one day and the following day act like a perfect stranger.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Her reply was thoughtful insofar as describing her own experiences but when talking about the topic at hand she become overly antagonistic.. I mean really now, what is with all the touchy feelings?

itrewitallavay · 3 months

hah! :)

itrewitallavay · 3 months

It's a possibility. I would be completely surprised though if she did and transferred all attraction and trust that we had built together onto some random guy. It's not unheard of but I kind of doubt this is the case.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

To me there is a huge difference between having been told "not interested" even if only once, and just dropping communication completely when there was no warning, no goodbye, no indication of any disinterest whatsoever.

On one hand, if you told him "so long and thanks for all the fish" and he's both insecure enough and socially awkward enough to continue to pursue despite being ignored afterwards, well that's pure foolishness. On the other, if you had not given him any context for being unhappy or disinterested yet suddenly ignore him, doesn't it follow through that if you expect him to go away you need to give him a "no thanx" at some point?

itrewitallavay · 3 months

I am neither. You are, however, miserable in life and manage to spread your misery. Congratulations. Quit life, you're worthless.

I'm saying that your statements make it very clear that you don't believe that women are capable of rational thought.

It is clear that YOU are not capable of rational thought.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

She may have become scared off by the intensity of your relationship and needs some breathing space, but doesn't know how to tell you this.

This is what I sincerely think. I am giving her space. But the question is then does giving someone space ever work? All that ever seems to happen is that the space makes it easy for both parties to go their own direction without looking back.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

That was sincere and obviously not directed at you in any way.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Ok I get that. The real question is what causes you to go from giving a huge fuck about someone to not giving a single fuck about them inside of 1 or 2 days?

itrewitallavay · 3 months

And you are a terrible internet troll if you think the insults of some nameless, faceless, baseless ignoramus can effect me in any way. Is this your first time online? LOL.. facepalm

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Now what percieved privilage are you referring to?

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Yelling? Wtf. Lol I bolded the TL;DR portions instead of retyping them. Jeezuz have some preconcieved notions why don't you.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Thanks for an intelligent and relevant reply. Realizing that this behavior is not what I want nor am attracted to is the easiest way to not feel any tumultuous emotion over any of this but rejection stings. I can take it if she doesn't call back after a first or second date but after this amount of investment just baffles me and in the end I don't want to become even more guarded than I already am. I've been through relationships and have developed a thicker skin, but what kills me is everytime I make myself vulnerable to a woman I get trounced on. It happens without fail. I have grown extremely careful about who I "let in" and open up to, so to speak, and experiences like this just make me that much less likely to even want to seek an intimate connection.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Being that I am a man I have some insight into how men think. If a man flakes and drops contact its usually after sex has been completed but before any intimate connection is established. Guys tend to use more logic in their rationalizations whereas women are obviously more emotional often impulse driven especially when it comes to relationships.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

Wow a little pent up aggression about men there or something? She didn't want a one night stand, that was obvious from the get go. We had sex more than once, and everything from how her body shook from orgasm to the words she used in and out of the bedroom told me she loved the experience.

I don't think anybody is above giving at least a "goodbye or thanks but nothanks" to someone they have invested this much time into. The fact is, that in a short amount of time we became incredibly intimate and then to turn around and drop things seemingly out of the blue does seem crazy to me. At very least its selfish and disrespectful. I was hoping to get some insight into how and why this could happen, not to be berated for being confused by some anonymous internet aggressor. Check your attitude.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

We aren't in eachother's lives to that extent. I've never met her brother or her friends, only her roommate very briefly. I know where she works and lives but just showing up seems tactless.

I only mentioned the car accident thing to illustrate how random it all is.

itrewitallavay · 3 months

That's the thing. I was serious when I meant there was no negativity. We didn't talk about relationship expectations or anything, we were simply in the getting to know you state of brand new budding relationships. This is completely out of left field so much so that I'm not entirely ruling out car accident or something.

In my experience men freaking and flaking is not nearly as common as women. Its a fact of dating in the modern world, but usually this happens because lack of connection and that is not something that was lacking in this example.

itrewitallavay

TROPHY CASE

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