I am the 99 by iamthe99throwawayin pics
[–]iamthe99throwaway[S] 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
I've been living mostly "on my own" since I was 15. I'm the oldest of 6 kids, and practically raised my siblings. I come from a broken family. I was sexually abused by my father from a young age, it escalated to rape, and my mom took all of us kids and left him in the dust. I had to step up and help. I babysat from 13 on and helped out when I could, got a job at Arby's as soon as I was old enough, studied my ass off and did tech school so I'd have more than a diploma when I graduated high school.
I've been with my husband since 2007, we've been married since 2008, and I already had my technical certificate. We both wanted kids, and since we were stable and had started saving, we decided to start trying so we had our children early enough to maintain an active lifestyle with them, and for our own more selfish reasons, we wanted to be "done" with the little kid years while we were still relatively young. When my daughter is 18 we'll be brinking/just into our 40's. We thought we would be more able to give her the best life possible. We'd still be working and wouldn't be a burden on her as we got older, instead, she could go to school and make a life for herself before mom and dad were in a nursing home. That's a burden I didn't want her to have to deal with, hopefully ever, but at the very least, this way she can finish school and begin her own life before having to deal with inevitable health problems we will face when we grow old.
[–]iamthe99throwaway[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago*
Planning a child with his wife, not knocking up his girlfriend. My husband is 23. He's nearly done with college, and he had a job that paid 30k a year since a week after he graduated high school. He lost it when our daughter was 3 months old.
[–]iamthe99throwaway[S] -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago
I make between 260 and 320 dollars a week after taxes. I have a uniform fee I have to pay and my hours range, if we have a slow week my manager will send me home early, and I can't do a lot about that. We are considering a move, but it's a step in the dark and I'm afraid we'll end up homeless.
Breastfeeding an 18 month old is a little tough.
[–]iamthe99throwaway[S] 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
We were prepared, and she was intentional. Both of us were in stable jobs, we had been married a year, we had a combined savings as well as individual personal savings, and were making 50k a year together. He made 30k of that and he lost his job when she was 3 months old.
I did a technical program during high school and graduated with a technical certificate in automotive body/service. I've been working since I was 16 and saving. I'm in school online as well to get a "real degree." I got pregnant at 19, after a year of marriage, when my husband and I were both working decent jobs. He made around 30k a year. I've remained around 20k a year. We were doing good. This isn't some sort of classic "Oh shit, she's pregnant, there goes college" situation. My husband only had 2 more classes before he gets his degree, and I've got a lot longer on mine, but it's not as simple as you make it out to be. My daughter was planned, and she was planned responsibly. We had a savings, decent jobs, and a stable home.
I'm not sure if it's a situation where I don't qualify, or I'm just being denied. I've applied. I've even had a hearing and appealed the decision- they just denied me. I fit the qualifications, as far as I know.
If we had family I'd try them, but his father is gone, his mom's an addict, and my mother is sick. My father is not even an option.
Grats on the job offer!
I'm 21 and he's 23, and I'm employed full time. Abortion wasn't an option for me and we wanted my daughter- she was planned. Just to clarify.
I can see the blame for having kids young, there is a huge stigma against young parents, and there's an unfortunate assumption that young mothers are all unmarried, drug-head guttersluts. It's an offensive and wrong stereotype, but it's there. For the record, we were married before I got pregnant, we were both working decent jobs and made alright money. We decided to have a family and got shafted when he was laid off.
Thanks for the well wishes.
It is too late when your kid is on 100% solid foods and a year and a half old.
Thank you. I quit pumping after probably 4 months back to work, there are no private offices, there was nowhere to plug the pump in, and they tear through batteries like nobody's business. Re-lactating wasn't even an option, my daughter was already almost 8 months old when I dried up, and aside from working 5-6 days a week, I run a flea market booth on 1 off day and spend the occasional extra day off a week job hunting for better. So you're right- relactating wasn't possible, and my daughter is too old for it now.
I breastfed until work made it impossible for me to, but she's 18 months now.
The milk dries up after a fairly short period of time and the only way to get it back is through perscribed medication and pumping. I can barely afford milk, how the hell would I afford a hospital grade pump? Those things are upwards of 300 dollars.
She's 18 months.
Groceries do not count. I have not been asked for grocery costs/reciepts one time.
Even if I qualify, I'm being denied by the state... which is enough reason to think I do not qualify. After applying as many times as I have and being denied, I think I know my situation a hell of a lot better than you do.
The only expenses that count are rent and utilities. Student loans do not count. Debt of any kind does not count. Even our grocery bill does not count. Have you ever even applied for aid? Are you on it?
We're in a bad spot because my husband lost his job. He made somewhere around 30k before that, plus my 20k, and we were doing great. We had saved money and been married for a year and decided to have a baby. He was almost through his degree program and we didn't think we'd concieve so quickly, but were happy when we did. Our daughter was 3 months old when he lost his job. It's not like we accidentally a baby because we were idiot kids living with our parents- we were a married couple with a comfortable income in a place where we wanted to start a family. Not that it would be acceptable, in any case, for some of these people to be so cruel in their comments, but it's their internet muscles. They'd never say it in "real life."
According to the Welfare office, we don't. We have re-applied 3 times and been denied every single time. We're both students, which has been their reason every time I've asked, and students don't qualify. If we want to get decent jobs, or any jobs in my husband's case, we need a degree. I've even gone downtown and had an appeal hearing and still been denied.
Thank you for this. I'm trying. I've been at 10/hr for over a year now, and I'm actively looking for better and/or a second job. It's tough. Every night, all my breaks, and any off days I have are spent scouring job postings or old-fashioned hitting the pavement. It's hard to keep a positive outlook but it's the only way anything will start looking up- if I lose hope I lose drive, and if I lose drive, I lose.
We've seriously considered moving to the midwest, it's just a leap in the dark we can't decide on. On one hand, we'd probably have better luck there. On the other, we can't afford day-to-day here, so we can't save up for living costs while we find jobs. WIC wouldn't be available in the new area until we had an address and had been there long enough, which means we'd have to save enough to support us for at the very least a few months... and if we don't find jobs right away? I don't want to gamble with homelessness, I don't want my daughter to have to go through that. I may be over-thinking it or being over-cautious, but the idea of being on the street is about a million times more terrifying when you have a child.
Thank you and good luck. I really hope it looks up for you.
Thank you.
We've applied for WIC and are getting a few gallons of milk and cheese and things every month, but it's just supplemental. Still, WIC is a blessing, because it means things are a little easier than they could be.
We're having issues with him finding much of anything, but the 3 jobs he's interviewed for wanted him on days or a flexible schedule, so he'd have to work days/nights depending on what they needed. He did cut lawns and do odd jobs during the summer, but it's been awhile since he's had one of those too.
I'm working on my degree in Early Childhood Education at WGU online. I'm really upset by some of the comments, but I expected that, I know how Reddit works. My daughter is 18 months old and my husband lost his job 15 months ago... it's not that hard to do the math. We were financially sound when he lost his job and had a savings, but that's been spent on bills. It's not like we just decided to have a baby when we were making minimum wage with no savings- he made decent money and I made decent money at the time.
I guess I just wanted to share my story since I know I'm not the only one going through this. Once his degree is finished and/or he finds a job it'll be easier. I appreciate the kind words and encouragement.
Since my husband lost his job 15 months ago, and our daughter is now 18 months old, I don't see how that makes me loose and undeserving of my child. I was married working full time in a "real job," he was working full time in a real job and finishing his degree. This isn't an "Oh I was irresponsible and had a baby unprepared." We were as prepared as we could have been.
Since my husband lost his job 15 months ago, and our daughter is now 18 months old, I don't see your point. I was married working full time in a "real job," he was working full time in a real job and finishing his degree. This isn't an "Oh I was irresponsible and had a baby unprepared." We were as prepared as we could have been.
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iamthe99throwaway
I am the 99 by iamthe99throwawayin pics
[–]iamthe99throwaway[S] 0 points1 point2 points ago