hahze

- friends
1,323 link karma
977 comment karma
send messageredditor for
what's this?

TROPHY CASE


  • Verified Email

well they didn't like it over at r/mlp. here's "This is Halloween" ponified. by Waterstealerin MLPLounge

[–]hahze 2 points3 points ago

I don't think it's that they didn't like it, it's just that MLP has gotten so large that only certain kinds of content is bubbling to the top.

Science FTW. by i_am_just_a_numberin atheism

[–]hahze 1 point2 points ago

If life gives you AIDS, you make lemon-AIDS.

Jesus: now accepting credit or debit. by Something_Funnyin atheism

[–]hahze 2 points3 points ago

There's an actual bona-fide pay phone at the light rain train station near my job.

There's a few 1800 numbers printed on it, including one for a mega church. I usually call the church's 1-800 number and leave it running.

It's like a reverse-donation.

A 'Ponies IRL' Question by MisterMercenaryin MLPLounge

[–]hahze 1 point2 points ago*

1.) Twilight -- She'd be astounded by our technology and understanding of the universe without any assistance of magic. To ponies, magic is as fundamental as quantum physics here, so these basic differences in physics would be very interesting to both humans and ponies. She might also be concerned or even disgusted in how we use our more dangerous technologies and our enormous wealth to create a weapons of obscene and unthinkable destruction for the most dumb-shit reasons, let alone the more 'mundane' technologies that threaten our continued survival on this planet.

2.) Big Mac -- or any of the agriculture ponies, really -- would be astounded at our ability to create agriculture that feeds billions. Twilight would be interested, too, but she might also be concerned with existential threats to our food supply.

3.) They might be concerned of how human fillies and colts can end up killing themselves because of different pressures, usually over things that are less physical and permanent than cutie marks. I hope such pressures and dire outcomes are absent in pony society.

4.) Since Celestia has been wielding executive power for a 1000 years, Luna would make an interesting emmissary to the human world, to study it, and report back what she found. If she were the true princess of the night, she'd be enigmatic, quiet, and observant. She'd be the ambassador. Celestia would probably want a guarded relationship with all human nations.

In reality someone, say the US or China would pull something stupid and borish in the name of nationality and commerce, like going all Dutch East India Company, trying to establish a trading post somewhere too close for comfort, like what happened in Taiwan back in 17th century. Maybe start colonies and let them spread as far as the government could. That would be a mistake on that nation's part. Celestia would put the fear of the Pony Goddess Princess into them.

However, a hostile take over by humans is not inconceivable or maybe even difficult. The first obvious target would be to destabilize relations between the pony tribes. If this was the route we went, we'd have to find elements within the Equestrian head of the body politic. Perhaps selfish individuals with whom we could plot? Greedy merchant entities? The CIA has demonstrated a proficiency in using coups to overthrow democratic governments, such as in Syria-1949, Guatamala-1954, Brazil-1964, Ghana-1966, Chile-1973. There doesn't seem to be much of a military in Equestria, though. Even then, it might work out: there's no one to put up a counter-revolution; we'd just have to make sure we got most or all of the small military on our side. Alternatively, we could use our own forces. Hopefully our agents in Equestria could provide us with enough good intelligence to give us an edge.

Another CIA tactic would be to use agent provocateurs to pose as, say, communists, harass institutional leaders, intellectuals, teachers, etc. This method depends heavily on divisions in society that don't seem to be present in Equestria. We tried this with success in Iran-1953. The fighting started after we faked a sort of revolution to outside world. It's complicated.

All this seems unlikely, so the CIA would probably try to start some where else, putting pressure on Equestria. A direct military assault is something to remain reasonably agnostic about but as I mentioned before, a bad idea. So, with whom are Equestria's enemies? There are many inhabitants in the world where Equestria lives so it seems likely that we'd somehow ally with them. Some where, somehow, Celestria has enemies, trading partners, perhaps, whom desire Equestria's wealth. Rivals, etc. The dragons seem like an obvious candidate but we don't know enough about their motives. They certainly seem powerful but they're unable or unwilling to give Equestria much real military trouble; errant naps don't seem like a real emergency such as war, not if your first solution is to send a grad student and her 5 BFFs, and then have that plan actually work! We just don't know enough about the world outside of Equestria.

I imagine Celestia would recognize that not all humans are bad and that real benefit could come about from getting to know each other but she must also recognize that human institutions and culture can pose a very real threat.

If Celestia was smart, she'd tell us to GTFO. Ponies have created a better society than humans and they would have much to lose. We on the other hand are starting out at the bottom and have much to gain from them, and unfortunately, certain groups and select individuals would have much to exploit from them.


The one scenario I hadn't considered here was what if Ponies decided to invade earth? I can't imagine they would, though, since military domination just doesn't seem like how they roll. On the other hoof, compassion is a guiding principal in pony society and there's a chance that it could get out of control. What if it became like the relations between the old and new worlds and Celestia saw fit to spread ponydom else where?

The Real Man vs The "Nice Guy" by NickTDSin seduction

[–]hahze 0 points1 point ago

What if I only have Nice Guy properties 1 - 3 and none of the other ones?

[SPOILERS] Today, on My Little Pony... by UnboundedAccusationsin MLPLounge

[–]hahze 2 points3 points ago

I can commiserate with Fluttershy (FS) about her situation. However, I never really got over my flaws. I didn't get a group of friends I could depend on.

Everyday in middle school 7th grade was a hellmouth. 7th grade hahze was fat, nerdy and ungainly, with much fear and no grace.

Gym class. Everyday. The same thing happened to me as FS. I got beat up, hit with the ball, riddiculed, whatever. At the end of every gym class I would cry. Everyone saw and talked. I'd weep so bitterly. this went on for months. It got to the point that I'd start skipping school. I'd hide under my bed until my mom left for work and then I'd suffer another humiliating indignity: I'd reliably shit my pants. It was a bargin.

I don't know why, but everytime I'd hide under my bed, even if I went to the bathroom before I hid, I'd soil myself. I hated it because it was a real physical reminder of the hurt I was trying to avoid, that stewing in my own shit and piss in the dark and not able to move -- for hours -- was preferable to gym class. The solitude was preferable. Being alone made having to smell my own feces, having my legs burn from urine trapped in my pants, laying still alone in the dark, all berable. Anything to get away.

I'm an older man, never talked about it; now, with youth a distant memory, I think I might finally be over it. It was years and years before I didn't just assume that people weren't laughing at me. I still cringe at seeing children. Today watching it I started to cry again, and got put right back there in middle school. I got to be the fat kid again. I was feeling for FS and her predicament. I still don't go out much.

Everyone's living their life, having fun, and passing me by...I haven't done anything...I'm stagnating...I'm wasting my youth. by Olhsvain self

[–]hahze 4 points5 points ago*

I actually tried what you are suggesting. It started out normal and ended in bedlam; it got me homeless in San Diego with serious mental issues because I couldn't cope. So, I guess it is a fair warning that this method isn't for everyone. A little bit more doubt on my part 10 years ago would have avoided a few nasty years. I did meet a few people, either on the street or in filthy residential hotels. They had different stories but some were mostly a potential future-self. Some had just done what I did, and you are saying; just packed up a bag and moved to California. By the time I met them, they were old, bereft of any chance to make their lives something more satisfying.

That feeling, whatever it is, is your fucking enemy. You've found the thing you have to beat

The enemy was too strong for me, it seems. It beat me soundly. It stands to reason that people are naturally risk-averse and timid because it prevents them from getting into situations like I got in.

If one is dissatisfied with life, it would be better to be cautious and figure out what is so dissatisfying and then figure out how to resolve it. I don't think it's best to just pack up a bag and leave. At least, not for this problem.

Men of Reddit: What is the most unintentionally emasculating thing that women have done or said to you? by workplin AskReddit

[–]hahze 52 points53 points ago

"You're socially incompetent."

She was, and is, correct, 14 years later.

What's your very first memory? by Matthew212in AskReddit

[–]hahze 0 points1 point ago*

While sitting at the foot of his recliner, I spilled my dad's bottle of mineral water, soaking the newspaper. When he asked me about it, I lied.

Launching out of his chair, dad grabbed me by the wrist. At first I thought it was some kind of game as he hoisted me into the air but then the pain of being dangled and jerked started to really hurt. He started beating me furiously with his free hand.

"DON'T FUCKIN' LIE TO ME"

Mom was making hotdogs.

Today in overanalyzing a kids show: by Wolfurin mylittlepony

[–]hahze 2 points3 points ago*

If manufacturing clouds is an intense and precise operation, then someone probably thought about it in a planning session or as a result of an incident.

For example, flying an airplane is an operational type of situation with checklists, etc. Every time there's an accident or some incident, they add a check for it to the checklist, added to training curriculum, or incorporate it into the design of the aircraft. Other times, someone thought of it and decisions were made ahead of time.

D.B. Cooper was the only man who successfully hijacked an aircraft and escaped capture in the US by jumping out of the aircraft. Now, a device called a 'Cooper vane' makes it so that an aircraft hatch can't be opened while the plane is in flight. The vane is pretty esoteric and you probably didn't know about it but it's super common on every large commercial aircraft and anybody who flies or works around large carrier aircraft knows about them. Although, getting non-winged ponies into Cloudsdale seems like an idea that would come up more often than opening the ventral hatch of a craft.

So in a minor incident or planning action item, non-winged ponies must have visited at one time so they had these spares outfits developed for that eventuality or some program manager-pony thought of it. I also note that the factory floor isn't made from clouds and receiving visitors for business meetings or tours certainly seems like a reasonable event.

Ponies very likely posses nuclear weapons. by hahzein mylittlepony

[–]hahze[S] 1 point2 points ago

But it's fun. :) Have an upvote. :D

Ponies very likely posses nuclear weapons. by hahzein mylittlepony

[–]hahze[S] 1 point2 points ago

That's quite possible. I've wondered if the ponies live in some kind of post-human society. Not necessarily because of some kind of eschaton event but rather we are seeing humans as they choose to appear at this time. Maybe even some kind of virtualized environment.

Ponies very likely posses nuclear weapons. by hahzein mylittlepony

[–]hahze[S] 1 point2 points ago

That's a very good point. In the best case scenario, they use these suits to protect themselves from radon gas. It doesn't mean that there is a definite nuclear industry, just that they are aware of radon gas problems and know how to deal with them.

Ponies very likely posses nuclear weapons. by hahzein mylittlepony

[–]hahze[S] 1 point2 points ago

Thanks/ :D I'm glad some one liked it

Ponies very likely posses nuclear weapons. by hahzein mylittlepony

[–]hahze[S] 1 point2 points ago*

I don't know. I'm no expert. :)

But I think it might because of the micro-gram per detector and the extremely long-half life. Disposed detectors are supposed to be recycled. The WP tells me that 1 tonne of plutonium will yield 100 grams of americium

Ponies very likely posses nuclear weapons. by hahzein mylittlepony

[–]hahze[S] 3 points4 points ago*

That explosion couldn't have been that bad. AJ was no more than some dozens of yards away and she suffered no ill effect. That meant the shock wave that reached her was less than 5 psi, though she did take cover. In humans, 5 psi causes ear-drum rupture, the first of many injuries up until 30-40 psi with death. RBD's yield couldn't have been that much.[1]

1-I am not a bomb expert nor do I aspire to be one. Please don't detain me.

Ponies very likely posses nuclear weapons. by hahzein mylittlepony

[–]hahze[S] 3 points4 points ago*

How can that be? We saw a steam shovel, a cast-iron (wood) or steel frame building, and a hydro-electric dam. This means ponies have a sophisticated understanding of statics, materials, etc.

If two people have a chance of going to the same point at random times and they each wait 15 minutes, what are the odds they run into each other? by hahzein learnmath

[–]hahze[S] 0 points1 point ago

I think the hard part of it was resolving two ranges of time out of, say, 8 hours or some thing and seeing what the odds are that they over lap, even a little

I wonder how each of the Pony classifications (Earth, Pegasus, Unicorn) see one another? (Classic MadMax comic for parody of one possibility) by JoeAconitein mylittlepony

[–]hahze 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nightmare Moon

Ponies are corruptible.

Royalty is also corruptible which is unsettling because of the lack of means for transferring power.

view more: next