You were definitely abused, my friend, and I am so sorry that you were put through this. You didn't "cry like a bitch". You cried as someone who was severely wronged. You cried like someone who was abused and forced into a situation you should never have been in. You were emotionally and sexually taken advantage of in one of your darkest and weakest points in life. That was wrong, cruel, and inhumane. You did nothing wrong. Recognize that this continues to be an abusive situation and that something, for your sake, needs to be done. I cannot tell you what that is nor should I presume to but I will offer my love and support from across the internet. I'll let you know that you are valued and that you are cared for. You never deserve(d) to be treated like this. Thank you for sharing your story