I'm on the verge of a complete mental breakdown

AmericanDry · 10 days

it'll be okay. you're really, really stressed right now, and that sort of stress is damaging, but it will pass. and some people work well under stress, but most people don't, so doing things and thinking rationally is more difficult for you right now than it should be (and that tends to set off more and more worries)
the only thing i can really suggest is, understand what is happening to you right now, and be aware of the the effects that it has on your perceptions. remember that it will pass, remember that all the bad feelings are only side effects. your wellbeing is a priority, so if you need to take a failing grade, it's okay. good luck, stranger ♥

nadertron · 1 month

ha ha um. no laxatives are bad & i can't really otherwise, so

nadertron · 1 month

i've gotten better and gained and it makes me feel a little bit like dying
i don't know what to do either, i don't want to go back but it sort of feels like i don't have another choice

encredeplume · 1 month

i'm sorry for your loss. maybe life is both like a mountain and an abyss, in some ways. and by being proactive about it, i suppose you're on the mountain. i really ought to do that, too, but i have easter candy that i'm not done eating...

encredeplume · 1 month

oh, that's really great! everything around me feels dark and mean right now, but this made me feel hopeful. i really hope you continue getting better

encredeplume · 1 month

i'm glad you will be getting help! you're in a really bad place right now, but i think you will climb up again. you've done it before
please do go to the hospital, it will give you at least some peace.

encredeplume · 1 month

i don't know. i'm a little confused by what you're trying to say, but i feel like that is probably my fault anyway.
but maybe you misunderstood me. "life is" lots of things, and maybe an abyss too, but an individual shouldn't feel like that. i think there is certainly a correlation between the shittiness of life and depression, but there is no causation.
and, no, i actually think i completely agree with that statement on life.

edit: i'm sorry, OP! it's inconsiderate to have this conversation here. i'm afraid that i can't say anything helpful. i just don't know. maybe, try differentiating between the shitty, hurting circumstances you're in right now, and your mental illness. the depression makes everything that much more difficult, but maybe if you could understand which aspects of your life and the depression influence each other? maybe try it out, just as a small mental exercise. did you manage to get to work?

encredeplume · 1 month

no! it doesn't have to be like that. it's not supposed to be like that

epona92 · 1 month

toshio saeki, for anyone curious. he has lots more fucked up stuff, like this and this and even this

mrforrest · 2 months

i will be sad to die, but death is beautiful to me. the animals die, and their bodies dissolve into the earth. they become the trees and the air, and then other animals, and everything is one. and when i die, i will lose myself. there will be no "self". and that, is beautiful, too. because without a self, i am you, and i am energy and i am leaves and the wind, simply because there is no me, but there is still existence.

i'm afraid i did not articulate this very well, but oh well

pomwa · 2 months

here too, idk but it's making me nervous, it's been like an hour already
edit: someone with a machine gun in dyker heights?

hipenguins · 2 months

me, too. it really feels like a disability at this point. i even have trouble writing comments, for fuck's sake. but it's mostly only a fear of imperfection i think. but it's awful because, because sometimes it is easy! but only sometimes

good luck with your paper! i don't know if you've finished it by now, but if you're like me, you're not afraid of the paper, you're afraid because you can't find the words. but the words are there, but like fish in a pond and if you are nervous & frenzied, they will be frightened away. it sounds silly but that is the way i think of them

teraflop · 3 months

but, spoiler

fleshyroots · 3 months

i think i will be okay! i only needed to vocalize, maybe mourn the death of this part of me. thank you.

fleshyroots · 3 months

it is scary. but i will try, & i should be able to cope, thank you.

fleshyroots · 4 months

i will try. writing is very, very difficult for me. but i do need to get better, and for that i need to actually do things!

fleshyroots · 4 months

i do make lists, but i think having a schedule & a set plan would help considerably. thank you.

fleshyroots · 4 months

oh, i only knew of the first two types! i am very much the fifth type, i think. but i am sure that the laziness is still horribly dominant in me.

fleshyroots · 4 months

thank you, i am glad it did!

fleshyroots · 4 months

oh, well! i'm afflicted with the laziness, then. P:

restrictionsites · 4 months

i am pretty much the same. anything i do feels ugly and everything around me feels mean. i don't know how to help but, hugs
something needs to change, but the only thing that we can, is ourselves. i just don't know how!!

fleshyroots · 4 months

do you do this every day?

fleshyroots

TROPHY CASE

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