What stereotypes do you associate with a person's first name?

EnrichingLives · 1 month

But they still won't take you to the baseball game...

Kelptomaniac · 2 months

As a close friend of many employees at that brewery I can't stress how excellent I think Yards is

Wolven49 · 2 months

Have yet to visit here without a "Looks Like You Have Exceeded Your Allowed Views For Today" message up there

UtterlyShelly · 2 months

you poor guy...

Denver_Pole · 2 months

Two questions for my new internet doctor:

Can I send you some x-rays for a second opinion?
Is the recommendation of dildo's designed for anal use a common one?

I don't even care if you're a doctor - I already trust you completely.

For every item filled anus I've seen on the internet I now realize there's also a doctor who had to go over the specifics of sticking things up your ass.

BigCatTherapist · 2 months

A few years after I graduated from college I was well into the mind numbing repetition that comes with a 9-5 office job.

After 2 years of paying for health insurance and getting no "play" out of it, my right testicle FINALLY started to become a bit uncomfortable during my 1.5 hour commute home.

That evening was the "perfect storm" of expected substance abuse. It was a Friday, it was Halloween, it was some chicks birthday party, there was a concert, and we had tons of drugs.

I arrive home dressed up like the yuppie bastard I am, and immediately am greeted by guests and booze. I proceed to casually rip my shirt off and snort coke off of my dick, then I realize it's only 5:30pm and I should change out of my work clothes.

Once I get upstairs I figure its time to inspect this testicle.

Wow....

It's the size of a softball.

I immediately run downstairs to show eveyone. They are as amazed as I am. Chicks are eyeing me the fuck up and its all because of what turns out to be a horrible infection in my testicle.

I spend the night becoming the epitome of cool. My ball is the center of attention.

He's hilarious, he has a great body, so much charisma. SO MUCH charisma.

Fast forward to the next morning. Its 50% bigger. It's close to cantaloupe size. Basically it's not cool anymore.

I drive myself and my enlarged ego to the hospital where I give about 15 new residents the show of their life. 50 year old nurses are skipping around corners to come see this monstrosity.

At that hospital at least 15 people touch my ball. 4 are women. 1 of those 4 is good looking.

She doesn't like my jokes.

They immediately give me a shot and send me off to some "better hospital" that has an ultra sound.

My ultrasound pass says "STAT" on it. That means i can cut in front of pregnant chicks and their husbands in order for a hot young sonogramer to look into the vastness of my large testicle.

Once fucking again my ball is the center of attention. At his point I'm completely over the novelty, and more upset that people have stopped talking to me and are asking my ball how the day is, how he's dealing with this fiasco, and whether or not they can be facebook friends.

I have to disperse the crowd at this point - I'm starting to develop the testicular equivalent of "Alien Limb Syndrome".

It's not a part of me anymore. The worse part is I can be cool without it anymore.

Much like Icarus I've flown too close to the sun.

After the sonogram they informed me that not only was I suffering from Epididymitis, but my testicle had also turned about 240 degrees within my ballsack.

Sometime I still feel him itching to escape.

tl;dr: testicle got huge - doctor's loved it - I miss him.

--TacoLoco-- · 2 months

I have used both Avidtrak and HostedNumbers with a few clients. Both are great solutions depending on how deep you want to get with your call tracking data.

We had Avidtrak set up for a few months - it was tracking either the search query or referral source of everyone that called our tracking number. Ended up having about 20 numbers we would rotate.

HostedNumbers just tracked sheer amount of calls (or at least thats what we use it to).

We had found having all that keyword data was nice, but wasnt really actionable.

samstanzsays · 3 months

No that's when someone is friendly. These two are ambidextrous.

blizzap · 3 months

Wait Mexico is governed by cats?!

Oh wait cartels....

cartels....

CherrySlurpee · 3 months

You better listen to him CherrySlurpee - he has already successfully connected to the internet and made a reddit account.

I've asked around and the general consensus of this thread is that he knows more than you do.

CherrySlurpee · 3 months

In-house SEO manager here - our google leads are up 1300% since I started.

It works...just make sure they have your best interest at heart. Agencies are NOT the way to go.

mkhaytman · 3 months

Hahahahah I have to admit I've had some delightful SEO discussions with other phans deep within the chaos/splendor that is a pre-show parking lot.

It's rare though!

mkhaytman · 3 months

Actually I was just going to be asking this question to a SEO forum I frequent.

I'm in the same boat pretty much: I'm a fulltime SEO and I uncovered a large paid blog network in my niche that basically provides 300+ blogroll links to anybody that joins this service and pays 7K+ per year to keep their account active.

Once you join this network they build you a blog, and on each blog is an automatically generated list of blogroll links to EVERY other site created by this company. So 7K = 300 backlinks. There's no way to get on the blogroll widget unless you pay them.

Anyway, our two options are to either fork over this dough, or start reporting these sites. Today I was told I'll just be reporting them.

From what I've dug up, Google has a dedicated web spam/paid link team that probably "tries" to look through all of these, but I suspect there's thousands of submissions a day. It won't be an overnight change.

Not sure whether they roll out an update to their algorithm, or focus on certain sites. I would hope the latter, but its nothing we can control.

My thoughts are that its more beneficial to either pay, or attempt to recreate the links your lacking, but still I am here with "report sites" on my to-do list and so will be going ahead with that.

Would love to share my results once they come through.

kaiguy · 3 months

Drexel grad here - I can always tell who the Penn students are at our parties because...

Oh wait...

No Penn students dare come to Drexel parties...

Stephen_W_Hawking · 3 months

TIL the plots of 30 major literary works by a dog dressed as the main character

Noellepacl · 3 months

Why is there such a strong smell during the procedure?

Am I harboring the most evil of stenches in each and every one of my bones?

I would have thought the marrow would stay pretty isolated and airtight as it's being injected.

PerogiXW · 3 months

off tempo fap

inwhiterooms · 3 months

I tend to focus on bringing the client in for a nice long-term contract. Typically what I propose to them is 2 phases - phase 1 is possible site redesign/relaunch + keyword analysis and onpage seo.

Phase 2 is recurring - linkbuilding, content writing, content promotion, analysis, etc.

Usually I break out the work I'll be doing for clients hourly BUT I have a number in mind I'm shooting for.

Most of my clients at this point are <5 employees, so I tend to keep the budgets for on-page around 600 dollars.

If they need a site built, then I bump it to 1600 or so.

I'm always working this rate higher and higher with each client I pitch, but I definitely talk to the client to see what he/she is comfortable with first, then try to build a campaign around their goals.

I have one client who I have a recurring monthly contract for 200 dollars with. It doesn't make for too much work on my end each month, but he's comfortable paying that amount, and while the campaign moves slower than my higher paying (and more hours billed) clients I've made it clear that dropping down to his budget WILL effect performance.

upsilon905 · 3 months

God I KNEW gibbons were in this season...why did I sell mine for Uggs...

upsilon905 · 3 months

A bow? A ribbon? A ribbon bow? A gibbon?

upsilon905 · 3 months

He was probably waving at his friend behind you. Be thankful you didn't wave back...

EDIT - happens to me all the time...

fadingcross · 3 months

What are you thoughts on the blooming SEO business - as an SEO myself it seems our entire industry is based on doing exactly what Google doesn't want you to do - influence their search rankings.

Ever overhear any office chit chat about what Google thinks of SEOs?

otter111a · 3 months

For once an actual penis! Take that thumb as penis "when you see it" impostors!

cssphan · 3 months

I also tried the same - with unexpected results.

I was able to hold onto the tow-rope for a good 5 minutes and breathe the whole time, but within the first few seconds of the boat taking off my swim trunks were sucked off my body.

I caught them on my foot, and my repeated attempts to pull my pants up (while holding onto this damned tow rope) were met with the laughter of my booze soaked peers.

According to me I did end up getting pulled into what I'm pretty sure was a flock of mermaids (or mermen, not sure - the water was cloudy) and they swam below my flailing body as I was pulled along and we engaged in quick impersonal coitus.

tl;dr pretty sure my illegitimate mer-children live beneath a lake in Maine

edit:grammar

CyborgDragon · 3 months

My dogs used to eat food with "gravy" that magically appears when you mix water into the mix.

As a human I found the cold mix repelling, but shoot...heat that shit up in the microwave and the dogs are eating better than me.

cssphan

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