It's just like, who even cares? Even if I do decide that I'm bi for sometimes finding men attractive, that's not going to affect who I'm attracted to. I mean, it might just be because I'm in a long term relationship and thus have no intention of trying to have sex with another person anytime soon, but it just seems so arbitrary. Let's say I'm getting with this really attractive woman, and when I get her pants off I see that she has a dick. I was attracted to her before, right? Even if I don't want to touch her penis[in all honesty, I probably wouldn't actually care], she's still the same person I was getting with, and she identifies as female so technically it's not "gay." But let's say I'm having sex with a rather androgynous girl, whom I still find attractive, and later I find out that "she" actually identifies as male. So I was having sex with a dude and enjoyed it, is that gay? Attraction has so many different facets and it's silly to make something as fluid as gender the most basic, necessary part of it. All I know is that of all the people I've found attractive in my life, almost all of them are people that I have perceived as, and who identified themselves as, women. But why rule out anyone who lies outside of those boundaries just because of my previous record? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that when a dude claims to not want to fuck another dude he's in denial, or that everyone's gay on the inside. If you don't want to fuck somebody, you don't want to fuck them. No amount of soul-searching and self-questioning will change that. I just feel like sexual orientations have grown to be something that people base their attractions around, a box to put themselves in, when it should just serve as shorthand to describe the general group of people you find attractive. "Homosexuality" has been used throughout most of history only to describe single acts; I may be getting this completely wrong, but I believe that it wasn't until Freud became popular that using "homosexual" to refer to people came into wide use. Just, fuck who you wanna fuck [over 18 and consenting], find hot who you wanna find hot, call yourself whatever you want to call yourself, but don't let it define you. Very, very sorry for the tangentially related essay.