I feel like we probably agree on most things, but of course have different perspectives. But I'd like to think that's because we're different people and not because we're of different genders or use a different word for our beliefs.

Yup, it sure looks that way!! :)

I agreed with everything in your post (glad to see it's not just women irritated by Dr. Pepper 10 and cleaning/home improvement commercials!), and boy, I am a broken record about the injustice of this myself:

How I'm "supposed" to behave as a man, how I'm "supposed" to dress and what kind of alcohol I should drink and "isn't it funny how men, like, totally think about sex constantly?"

I couldn't agree more, the expectation of strict manliness is harmful to men because it gives you a more restricted range of expression. As much as people enjoy claiming that men are brain-controlled by sex, all the evidence of my experiences suggest that this is a severe overstatement, but God forbid you don't go along with that narrative even if it isn't your experience. Or, you're in the mood for a delicious daquiri at the bar? Too bad, unless you're also in the mood for people to make fun of you. Money a little tight? That sucks, cause if you want that girl to like you you gotta buy dinner on the first date. You think you'd have more fun in a dancing class than a baseball field? Do it at your own risk. Women can wear pants and makeup but men can't even think of wearing a skirt or covering a blemish! UGH. I don't know how people still have these expectations when the world has changed so much. Then in addition to holding men back from full enjoyment and potential, the whole "femininity is embarrassing" thing is also pretty insulting to women, for fairly obvious reasons, since the implication is that feminine things aren't as good or cool as masculine things (which is part of why I think people are more accepting of women doing masculine things, because masculine things are associated with being cool and strong, and who wouldn't want to be strong?--but men are much less accepted if they want to do feminine things, because who would want to be seen as weak?). So in short...everyone loses.

Just wanted to let you know that even though you've spoken to some feminists who are more interested in focusing on the suffering of women...there's a lot of feminists with a lot of viewpoints, and those folks don't represent all femninists. Kind of the way two people can call themselves anything (Christian, for example) but not necessarily hold the same, or necessarily even similar, beliefs. For me (and I think a growing number of young feminists like myself--I'm in my 20s) gender egalitarianism is synonymous with our view of contemporary feminism--in fact sometimes, since the word "feminist" has such a stigma, sometimes I will use the word egalitarian instead if I think it will be better or more quickly understood. Anyway, gender egalitarianism is what's increasingly being taught to young women in colleges about the evolving heart of feminism, and based on many conversations I've had with young feminists, I believe it's what many young women are coming to on their own, even though the suffering of non-women is still not talked about quite often enough in feminist circles (in my opinion). It's my belief that it's really where we need to be to make progress going forward, so I'm pretty vocal about making sure that men's (and transgender) issues get "air time" in feminist discourse.

Sorry that's so long...TLDR: I like you, let's be friends.