Your entire existance has been a simulation. You are now dead, and you get to meet the designers of this grand simulation that was your life. They ask for your feedback; what do you tell them?

custerdome · 5 days

I could have had more control. It was kinda mean letting me watch all those AIs suffer then not being able to do anything about it. Then again, I guess I was pretty lazy. Less lazy next time... There'll be a next time right?

artacuno53 · 5 days

I don't know, it's entirely possible no one knows but Toph... and I'm going to cling to that hope until there's some evidence.

Patrick_Himself · 5 days

Do you have a washing machine? (he/she answers with yes or no?) Let's fuck.

(this has and never will work for me, but who knows...)

Anywho, how can this be urgent? Good luck.

RoutineEnvelope · 8 days

I was in my lecture, and the question was raised why we started to buy shampoo when there was no need for it and some guy who usually pipes up answered 'Because they were retarded?'

The whole lecture hall just rippled as everyone turned to look at him, and a friend of mine just said what we were all thinking 'Did that just happen?'

I guess you don't say retard in a university lecture. I was the only person not shocked...

SteveTheDragonborn · 13 days

Jack Bauer, Gordon Freeman and Louis CK... I've never been so happy with my birthday.

RicheleNV · 15 days

Could I lie about it afterwards?

Sorry Mam, Dad, Nieces, I had amnesia. I washed up in some island somewhere and a billionaire gave me a large sum of money in his will because I reminded him of his missing grandaughter. I sold the rights to Disney and made a bit more money. Now let's pay off those loans and get back to being a family. A debt free family with a little bit of money in the bank.

When you look back over a year what do you feel anyway? Mostly that you've wasted a lot of time. This might make me appreciate everyone more, not want to waste a second.

kdubsdubs · 15 days

Everyone hates child abusers, including other inmates.

shampoo_my_crotch · 15 days

Lucky Number Slevin. Josh Hartnett spends a lot of time in a towel.

XxTamzynLeighxX · 16 days

My niece is really badly behaved. Her father (my brother) is dyslexic and I'm not sure she's not, but she's really intelligent. She's only 7 but whenever we spend time together she makes me really proud. She likes to write stories, and last time I went to see her I was holding her newborn sister and she comes over with this story she's written about a beatle. I was trying to read it but her mother shouted at her, and then joked she was too much like me. I just finished writing in the front of a scrap book I've bought her, inscribed 'To my niece (as in her name), author, artist, inventor and adventurer' (I spell checked it all but I'm not so sure right now). I wanted to give her some encouragement. Her parents do but with the three kids more often she gets palmed off. She's such an amazing little girl, so creative, and I don't want her to ever feel like that's not okay.

Sorry, this doesn't fit the criteria really as she'll know it's from me, but I wanted to share this with you as it's kind of similar.

XxTamzynLeighxX · 16 days

that played out perfectly.

HyeR · 16 days

Reddit, where good graffiti is praised, and finger paintings aren't... though if you can't draw graffiti isn't for you... unless it's a deep thought provoking message, in which case, yeah, fight the power!

mixigs · 18 days

i went to a fairground with my niece and we were waiting for it to start but already strapped in. It was called twister, it spins you round and has three arms with three cars... I don't know if you have the same rides in America or India or anywhere that's not Wales. I'm not very fairground cultured.

Anywho, this song comes on so I start dancing, and then getting really in to it. My niece is livid, and starts shouting at me. 'You're a terrible auntie, stop embarrasing me!' etc. This woman across from me with her son, starts dancing too, and we're both there giving it our best Saturday Night Fever until the ride started.

themoustachedoffende · 21 days

That's my birthday too!

rocker285 · 22 days

I had 7 upvotes earlier, followed by 8 downvotes. I was still impressed that people saw it.

Cash5YR · 22 days

Could you tell me the meaning... you know, to make sure we have the same meaning in mind... cough.

RoutineEnvelope · 25 days

Thank you very much. :]

Jakbo · 26 days

I was in Asda (wallmart?) with my mother and I saw one of these. I started rubbing it on my arm, forgetting where I was and laughing. She just walked over and asked me what I was doing, I lied and said I had an itch and dragged her off before she could see what was written there, because never has she told me I'm a mistake or anything of that nature, but there was no friend to rub out so...

CraptainHammer · 26 days

As a fat chick, this is true.

Speteor · 29 days

My mother's a dinner lady. When we're in town kids come up and pull her coat and she gets down to eye level to talk to them, all 'hey babes, how's your brother, what are you getting in town.' A few times I've had to explain to the mothers that she works at the school, but most of them are okay with it. One or two have gotten a bit pissy.

If a kid falls in the playground she can't put a plaster on their leg, it's innapropriate, apparently.

SacredJefe · 1 month

I send a strongly worded letter to whatever calamity it is this week.

NegraDamus · 1 month

my mother told me a story about this white kid pointing his gun (or his fingers in the shape of a gun) at a black kid and shouting 'bang, you're dead!' At which point he was promptly taken to the headmaster for racism. The child's mother came down and asked the teacher who overheard to explain why she now had to explain to her 7 year old what racism was, and why he was in trouble for pretending to shoot another pupil, when the other kid had done the same and nothing had happened. My advice is just to speak to the school about it. Usually they're apologetic when a parent makes the valid point that their child is a child and as puberty is a few years off, has no desire to see a girl's crack.

LumpyDog · 1 month

we were lighting the candles to my mother's birthday cake and we couldn't get anything to work. the matches were breaking, all the lighters just wouldn't light, and thinking I'd be a hero, I went over to the fireplace, in front of which my 6 year old niece was playing, waiting for them to bring out the cake, and I stuck some paper in there, ran through the house screaming 'my fingers! Quick!' I didn't think about it, it just seemed like a good idea. Besides, my niece already liked to stick things in there, hairbrushes etc. so its more like I got the idea from her... you could argue...

Starbuck8757 · 1 month

'No, he'll still be alive...' when someone's kidnapped. They always go and rescue them, but just once I want them to get there and find them dead. Whyshould they still be alive? Because they're your friend, and important in some way? You're going anyway to rescue them, they might as well just kill them!

RoutineEnvelope

TROPHY CASE

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