What gender stereotype(s) do you hate the most?

sexiibitch · 2012-05-25T16:08:14.149373+00:00

I used to read the /r/OkCupid subreddit quite a bit, and I saw a number of men over there saying that a woman asking them out would be a big no-no. I don't understand that at all, but whenever I see comments from male redditors suggesting women take that initiative, I wonder if they realise how risky that is. Gender stereotypes are bad, but they have some basis in reality - women simply don't have the cultural permission to proposition men like that.

sexiibitch · 2012-05-25T09:23:06.395420+00:00

Yes, being a woman.

sexiibitch · 2012-05-25T09:20:12.916432+00:00

I asked my man out, but honestly, I was fucking terrified - you might be surprised to find how many men are actually turned off by a woman taking that initiative. At the time, I had no idea how he'd feel about me making the first move.

sexiibitch · 2012-05-25T02:16:09.929701-07:00

HAHA, MORE AWESOME GENDER STEREOTYPES. BROFIST.

PedobearsBloodyCock · 2012-05-25T09:10:50.626970+00:00

Good riddance, asshole.

Erika_Mustermann · 2012-05-25T08:20:42.217972+00:00

That might have been me, actually - I remember pointing it out in a discussion over there one time.

I actually got into an argument with the SRSD moderators (and banned from SRSD for it) after asking why it mattered that some people aren't attracted to people of different races. While I realise it could be racist, I also experience a much more complicated kind of attraction than others might - and I also feel that reducing a lack of attraction to others as racism is excessively simplistic. Attraction is complicated.

While arguing with the moderators in modmail, one of them pointed out that, as a South African living in a multiracial culture, I had "absolutely no excuse not to find black men attractive".

That comment hurt me immensely. I could probably count on one hand the number of men I've ever found attractive. It's been a tremendous source of shame, inadequacy, and emotional distress for me. I'm still so fucking angry about it, even weeks later.

Shaming people for not feeling attracted to one thing or another is incredibly presumptuous, and dare I say it, privileged. Thanks, but not everybody has the luxury of a sex drive that makes attraction easier.

lilstumpz2 · 2012-05-25T07:22:42.083552+00:00

HOW DARE FEMALES HAVE STANDARDS.

gatorade42 · 1 day

Polygamy is not gender-specific. You're mistaking the word with polygyny.

dancing_leaves · 1 day

What difference does it make if everyone knows about your homosexuality? Does it make a difference if everyone says: "Hey, you're a homosexual and I'm OK with that"? How does that change anything? A person of reasonable intellect can keep their thoughts to themselves, and consider their identity and their state of being without telling everyone.

See the problem here? The point is to stop pretending asexuality doesn't exist.

dancing_leaves · 1 day

If you label yourself an asexual, others won't consider having intimate relationships with you because of that.

That's just not true at all. I'm 32, and recently become involved with an absolutely amazing man. I was honest about being asexual before we even expressed real romantic interest in one another, and it did not put him off.

Granted, I'm an asexual who is very open to actually having sex under the right circumstances, but he told me he'd wait as long I need. And he meant it. Sex just isn't that important to everybody, including non-asexual people.

Also, suggesting that people keep their asexuality a secret only perpetuates the stigma surrounding it. The more people come out and be openly asexual, the sooner society can accept it.

DontUseThrowaways · 1 day

If you're a female, congratulations on your pick of whoever you want if you're extremely attractive.

FTFY

Waltzinblack · 2 days

"It doesn't exist."

Waltzinblack · 2 days

It's funny because you've basically just told everybody that you've never seen a real naked woman.

edech · 2 days

Confessing is only good for the cheater, as they are looking for absolution so they can stop feeling bad about it.

No, it also gives the person cheated on the option to decide whether or not to remain in a relationship with the cheater. That's more important than anything else.

MsNomer · 3 days

Thank you so much, I hope so too. :3

MsNomer · 3 days

Well, he was invited into the game by a mutual friend. I host a weekly Gears of War night with people I actually know, as I'm not really into anonymous public gaming. So it's like half-real life.

We met in person about a week later, and things just went from there. We've spent more and more time together lately, and the past weekend on my couch playing Diablo, we both realised we were mad about each other. :)

I think the best part of dumping OkCupid is skipping through all the hassle and social politics, and going straight to the good stuff - having somebody amazing in my life.

MsNomer · 3 days

I know it's a totally drab cliché, but we met completely randomly - in a Gears of War game on Xbox LIVE of all things. Stuff happens when you least expect it.

KatieHartman · 7 days

Speaking from experience? You sure do know a lot about being an emotionally attached stalker ex-boyfriend.

KatieHartman · 7 days

Well, the reasoning is that there is always that chance, no matter how infinitesimal it might be, that she'll respond.

And you still think this isn't desperate?

prolifegirl · 7 days

Says the guy who obviously had never heard of asexuality. Fuck off.

prolifegirl · 7 days

So too hard then.

prolifegirl · 7 days

I'm not trolling anybody. As an asexual person, her original comments about a lack of attraction resonated with me. She's not asexual, as she later clarified, but going only on her first post, it was not an unlikely assumption.

Is it really so hard to stop and think, "hey, I learned something today", instead of being an obnoxious shithead about it?

prolifegirl · 8 days

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

Stop being an asshole.

prolifegirl · 8 days

Not a guy, and maybe you should look up asexuality.

MsNomer

TROPHY CASE

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