Sorry about your daughter. Hope it goes well!

I was ice skating with some friends about a year ago (I'm in college) and was wearing a hat at the time. I'm terrible at ice skating, so I'm grabbing the sides and all that. My friend Tim used to play hockey, so he slides by and grabs my hat. I'm trying to skate over and get it back and he's holding it out behind him. I lunge for it and miss, big time. I went face first into the ice. My nose bled a lot, it swelled, and I had a goose egg over one eye. Nothing permanent or serious, but looked bad.

Fast forward 1 hour later, he and I walked back to campus from the rink and had picked up some beer for that afternoon and we see a tour group walk by for prospective students looking at the campus. Obviously we fuck with them.

As we pass by, I'm holding the beer and trying to look sad with my fucked up face and Tim is following. As soon as we pass the group, people are looking at me and him, so he turns to them and says, "This is what a ho gets when he don't pay me no money."

The looks on the parents' faces was absolutely priceless