Mate, can I just say honestly that this is blatantly not the first time she has done this, and if you stay with her it will not be the last. I was in a very similar situation a few years back and it is crazy what you begin to find out once the "deception" ball starts rolling. You seem like a very responsible, very caring guy, and that is precisely why this woman does not deserve you. Once a woman reveals herself to be scandalous I can assure you that she has always been scandalous, and always will be. When your wife started to try to put the blame on you for how she was feeling and why she committed this act of adultery, that in itself says enough about her character to me, and it should for you as well. You need to follow the previous advice given to you and get a divorce lawyer who will guide you through the process. Protect your assets and don't allow that woman 1 cent of anything. As you said before, you are a pretty mellow guy but have been fantasizing about spraying your neighbors grey matter all over the walls. If a person causes you to feel like this then they are NOT worth any more emotional input, full stop. Please, leave the woman, and when your son is old enough he will have the utmost respect for you, and a reasonable hatred for women who play men and have no regard for their hearts and minds, as he should.