Cats are liquids

hydrone · 1 month

Then a dog on a couch must be a like a gas since it expands to fill its container.

rizzzz · 2 months

I just got mine. At first it sold out but then more became available. Keep trying people. I thought I was doomed.

Felgnon · 3 months

New Saltillo album's coming out too. Should be pretty sweet if this preview clip's any indicator.

letjag · 4 months

Sometimes I fold up dollar bills inside paper airplanes with the words "Open Me" written on the side and throw them at people from a distance. It could end up being the highlight of their day.

Woolew · 4 months

coolio

iamlouisck · 5 months

So you wouldn't say your comedy is cynical a lot of the time? I had in mind the episode of Louie where you pitch the idea for a realistic movie about a man whose life just keeps getting worse and worse. Are you actually more optimistic about real life?

iamlouisck · 5 months

I have a few questions to ask, and I would be overjoyed if you could answer any one of them:

First of all, your comedy depends on a very bleak cynicism a lot of the time, and I wonder, do you ever struggle to reconcile this with the overwhelming popularity you've experienced in recent years? Do you still believe real life doesn't have happy endings?

Next one: In my opinion, the most interesting thing about your tv show is the emotional response it creates. With each episode I feel like my heart grows testicles that your stories and ideas alternately tickle and clobber. I've never felt this emotion before, and I'm pretty sure that you single-handedly invented it. Where did you discover it? Is it something you feel frequently? So many comedians only aim to make their audience laugh or feel outrage at something, but you try to evoke this much more complicated emotion. Why?

And finally, I'd just like to know what your favorite animal is.

EffinD · 5 months

For some reason I always expect mammals to be higher maintenance, but maybe a rat would work out nicely.

PhoneySoprano · 5 months

The fridge in my house tended to get overpacked all the time. After doing some grocery shopping one day, it got to the point where 2 tombstone pizzas shot out of the freezer straight at my face every time the door was opened. Instead of reorganizing the freezer foods into a safer arrangement, I left a note on the door that read "THE BREATH OF GOD: Only the penitent man will pass."

EffinD · 5 months

So as long as it's an adult turtle it should be fine? And I can't pet a fish no matter how I Macgyver it.

evolve18 · 5 months

Prelude for Time Feelers by Eluvium is one of the most beautiful and soothing songs I've ever heard. Spiegel im Spiegel by Arvo Part is number one, but a youtube listen wouldn't do it justice.

Jewishpoison · 5 months

Sure thing. I've been gone all day, so I didn't see this until now but I can share some more stories if anyone's still interested. Like I said in the previous story, these guys had a major distaste for paying bills, one of which was the garbage bill. At first they took their garbage to the corner like any rational household, but the first time their membership with the local dump expired they never bothered to renew. They decided that their driveway was large enough to accomodate all of their cars, so they turned the garage into a de facto garbage dump. So for months, the mountain of shit in the basement was exceeded in terms of size and odor by the mountain of garbage in the garage. After 6 months or so, they rented a moving van and packed every cubic foot of its storage area with the garage garbage and hauled it all away.

As you can imagine, the garbage heap attracted a number of rats. But why should they hire an exterminator for a job they could do themselves? They fashioned a fallen branch from the yard into the designated rat-killing shillelagh, a lto like the one Charlie uses on It's Always Sunny. They cut a notch into it every time they killed a rat, and after just a few weeks it was ridged like a screw from one end to the other form all the notches. When they got evicted, most of the refugee rats came over to our house, and they were probably the healthiest, most robust rats I have ever seen in my life.

Speaking of their eviction, the house's owner gave them one month's notice to vacate, but even though they were willing to rent a moving van to get rid of all their trash, they never made any arrangements for their own possessions. On their last day there, they still hadn't moved anything at all, so of course, for them the best solution was to make another mountain. This time they piled up all their beds, couches, and dressers into the backyard and set the whole thing on fire. They even threw in shit like dvd players and kitchen appliances. I have to admit, it was pretty awesome to watch...like our own neighborhood Burning Man, and it was all the more beautiful knowing that it marked their exit from my life.

I think the house's owner (who also owned our house), a Korean man who spoke poor English summed it all up best: "I like you college kids...you have fun...you play the soccer [none of us played soccer and I have no idea what the fuck he was talking about there] but them....them...too much drink."

Jewishpoison · 5 months

This wasn't in a dorm, but in college I lived next to a frat house that descended into a third world level of squalor over the course of a year. My neighbors never paid their electricity bill ever, so their power got shut off in the middle of the winter and they never bothered to get it back on since they were usually too drunk to notice the cold. At some point a pipe burst in their basement, causing everything they flushed down the toilet upstairs to leak onto the floor. A normal household would realize this pretty quickly, but because there was no light source in the basement and the house already smelled like a sewer anyway, the leak went unnoticed for some time. It was one of the coldest winters in history here, so the waste piled up and froze, basically forming a solid stalagmite of shit and piss and who knows what other foul fluids. By the time they discovered this abominable mountain rising up in their basement it had grown to several feet in height and they had to go at it with shovels and pick-axes like fucking Yukon Cornelius. This was just one of many atrocities. I can't believe it took them an entire year to get evicted.

tldr: Pipe burst in neighbors' basement in the middle of winter...neighbors didn't notice for a while...shit stalagmite amassed in the basement for an unknown period of time.

DanielTaylor · 6 months

Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros is in a new movie trailer every few weeks so I'm sure somebody's wondering what it's called. (Usually it's the part that starts at around 2:30)

Tucksev · 6 months

Not gonna walk to class when it's raining...not gonna waste the day in a classroom when it's sunny.

EffinD

TROPHY CASE

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