During a family gathering we were talking about our sick cat and what we are going to do about it. My parents had talked about putting it to sleep, when I blurt out, "Shit, just take it out back and shoot it in the face.."

It was at this point everyone in the room was quiet and staring at me, including my cousin's daughter, age 7 and son, age 4. I continue and attempt to save their innocence.

"...face...with...er...candy!"

Pretty sure it worked. Although I was drinking a bit. I may have been drinking a lot actually. Okay, I was drunk.