I have had enough of people stroking their swollen erections over Ronaldo,Messi et al.Who is your favourite medicore footballer and why?

BeeStingClit · 3 months

Jimmy Bullard. Not sure I'd class him as mediocre, though. Solid player and funny as fuck.

BumScruples · 3 months

Grant Holt! He's just a massive bloke who shunts the ball into the net, it's brilliant. Also, this Straqualursi feller seems to have the right attitude and work rate, decent signing.

martin8289 · 3 months

Eboue. Because Eboue.

Mokoba · 3 months

Shola. He's kinda crap but he's got an amazing scoring record against sunderland but the best thing is his loyalty and professionalism. Never hear anything about him doing stupid shit, never hear him moaning about a new contract. When it came to him signing a new contract this summer the club offered one and he said "cool" and signed it.

His loyalty and professionalism is something sadly missing from today's game.

flogasman · 3 months

Tony Hibbert. Forged a decent premier league career despite the fact all he can do well is the occasional good slide tackle!

psvvivek · 3 months

Three lungs Park , Enough Said

Z_Z_T · 3 months

Tomas Rosicky

cjhazza · 3 months

Mark Noble. The epitome of not living up to your talent but still manages to do a good job for us. Cracking Penalty taker also.

Bobius · 3 months

Ali Dia!

gingerbreaduncle · 3 months

Igor Biscan. He was clumsy, couldn't control the ball and always look like he just woke up.

But he has a champions league medal. His contribution in the miracle run to Istanbul will be fondly remembered.

not_the_droids · 3 months

"our" Dede, wonderful 12 Years

spit334 · 3 months

I think our collective measurement of "mediocre" is skewed.

Niqulaz · 3 months

Peter Crouch.

I just love to see him do step-overs with those gangly pipe-cleaners he's got for legs. Also, despite being little but skin and bones and looking ready to snap like a twig any moment, he's just about never injured.

Eddie_The_Brewer · 3 months

Steve Powell.

He captained England Schoolboys back in the early 1970's and made his debut for Derby at the age of 16. One of his first games was the final match of the 1971/72 football season when Derby County needed to beat Liverpool to stand a chance of winning the First Division Championship (now the Prem, of course).

Early in the game, there was a 50:50 ball, and Steve went flying in to challenge none other than Tommy Smith, Liverpool legend. The precocious schoolboy just waltzed away with the ball whilst Smith was flattened. The packed Baseball Ground loved it.

A few minutes later, another confrontation - this time with Emlyn Hughes - same result. The Liverpool and England legend was flattened, the kid strolled away with the ball.

Derby won the game 1:0 with a goal by John McGovern, Liverpool only drew their final game of the season at Arsenal and Leeds lost to Wolves. The Rams had their first League Championship title and the legend that was Brian Clough was born.

Steve played for Derby for his entire career, retiring in 1985 after playing 352 games.

By the standards applied by some modern plastic fans who look at a club's trophy cabinet before they decide THAT's who they want to support, Steve fits the bill as a 'mediocre player'.

By the standards I apply, having been a supporter of Derby County for more than 50 years, Steve Powell is a true legend.

dm42 · 3 months

Rory Fallon, tremendously average player who spent half a season missing open goals for Swansea then scored this goal in a play-off final.

writes_bad_jokes · 3 months

Stephen Ireland.

Great work rate, great physical attributes, regularly falls out with management, shiniest head in the land.

gingerbreadmanPK · 3 months

Ryan Babel. He's incredibly inconsistent, but when he scores it's always a beauty.

amysarah · 3 months

David Healy. Did very little for clubs, but had a brilliant purple patch for Northern Ireland, scoring that goal against England, 2 against Sweden and a hat trick against Spain.

sbjellery · 3 months

Wes Brown. Because he's pretty darn good for a baked bean.

NMushroom · 3 months

Gylfi Sigurðsson, great skill on the ball and even better shooting!

Jangles · 3 months

John O'Shea.

Plays anywhere, always does an alright job and does it without complaint. The ideal squad player and Fergies biggest transfer mistake this season, Uniteds defence wouldn't be nearly as shaky with him in it.

JimmySinner · 3 months

Carlton Cole, Emile Heskey, Mark Viduka, Nikola Zigic. Ball-playing forwards whose job isn't necessarily to score goals, but to bully defenders, hold up play, pick out passes and flick on headers. These sorts of players don't get enough credit.

deenda · 3 months

Leon Osman

Unckmania · 3 months

Giovani Dos Santos.

He doesn't even play frequently enough to be called a professional soccer player, and he is way inconsistent.

But he has scored some of the prettiest goals Mexico has ever witnessed for them.

HarryBlessKnapp · 3 months

Dirk Kuyt. For his awesome performance in the goonies. No seriously though, Dirk is a fucking ledge.

John Fucking Jensen. Man I could go on. We used to have this discussion all the time.

Francis Benali. Glen Helder.

Jomiie · 3 months

Joaquin. He was great for a long time in Valencia, and had some really great dribbles.

EnglishGamer · 3 months

Cudicini, never moans about being a sub, gets some games occasionally and usually makes a mistake and a wonder save in the same match.

aaybma · 3 months

Richard Dunne. Ok, he may hold the record for the most own goals in the premiership, but only because he's always in the action and giving it his all. Solid defender.

iguanablazer · 3 months

Giovanni Dos Santos. I really want Harry to get the fuck out of Tottenham so Gio can get off the bench or at the very least allow his transfer!

dharms · 3 months

Shefki Kuqi. He doesn't dribble, he just runs through. Sometimes even with the ball.

DonChudleigh · 3 months

Shola Ameobi, has the turning circle of an 18 wheeler truck, but just every so often he chips in with a piece of stupidly brilliant skill to show why all the geordies love him

fulhamfeverfever · 3 months

As long as no one looks at my username and asks any follow up questions: Landon Donovan.

croutonZA · 3 months

Grant Holt! Even though he is chubby and the wrong side of 30, he scored 7 goals in 19 appearances (a few as a sub) in his first season in the Premier League. Then again, I'm just a fan of chubby footballers (David Dunn the notable exception).

Honorable mentions go to some ex-Newcastle players over the years such as Nikos Dabizas, Temuri Ketsbaia, Robbie Elliot, Steve Howey, David Batty and a few more I'm forgetting.

Edit: Too late to mention Chris Eagles?

Flaneuresque · 3 months

Moritz Volz; played a match with 'The Hoff' written on his boots, & has a website...

Stingerc · 3 months

German "el mono" Burgos. Former Atlético de Madrid & Argentina goalie. He was amazingly inconsistent, giving up howlers one game, only to look like Yashin the next.

He helped get Atlético back to la Liga after a particularly disastrous year in the 2nd division where the press expected them to crash & burn again like they had the year before.

He was also funny, witty, charming and an overall great guy to fans. He also had a heavy metal fan, like straight out of the 80's hair metal, and this was around 2002. In the off season he toured around Spain & Argentina playing bars.

And come on, you have to love a dude who's nickname "el mono" means "the monkey".

OnLakeOntario · 3 months

Humberto Suazo.

woiboy · 3 months

Michael Carrick.... selfless player, deployed out of position for years. Never complains gets the job done even when supporters criticize he just gets on with it. Besides that, he is a damn good passer

f1manoz · 3 months

Nyron Nosworthy. Sunderland cult hero.

Phil Bardsley. Technically ungifted, but has a terrific engine and is always full of commitment. Has also scored a couple of cracking wondergoals that are still talked about today.

brewhouse · 3 months

I don't know if he'd qualify as mediocre, but I'd have to say Ivica Olic for sheer workrate and determination. He gives it all, although he's a back up player and aging a bit now.

Bob_Swarleymann · 3 months

Oleguer Presas

chuckletrousers · 3 months

Alan Hutton. Old school, hard hitting, slightly filthy, right back.

EnderMB · 3 months

Lee Trundle.

Was a god for Swansea a couple of years ago, before he joined us and ruined his career. He's now playing in the Welsh leagues. :(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_ilqmcslw4

shutyourgob · 3 months

Jimmy Bullard. This is why

rodsaysgo · 3 months

Probably Tony Kroos. He's to slow to be an elite player, but he's got so much skill.... he needs somebody to whip his ass into god tier shape

schnansen · 3 months

Kevin Davies. The guy could teach a lot of young strikers about hold up play and winning headers. Dude is amazing at fighting off defenders to win long ball headers. Still a pretty average footballer though.

Choo41 · 3 months

George Elokobi. Because he's a unit.

ButterflyImprint · 3 months

Nicky Butt! Always in the shadow of someone else.

jestalotofjunk · 3 months

Some of the players being classed as medicore in this thread is shocking.

wisdompeanuts · 3 months

Jesper Gronkjaer and Bolo Zenden

ravegreener · 3 months

I'm a fan of MLS, so....pretty much all of the Seattle Sounders.

6SempreUnica · 3 months

Nico Burdisso. He is pure effort and strength. In Italian, we call what he has grinta. He always gives every game his all and puts in great performances for the shirt.

theTown00 · 3 months

Mother fuckin Park Ji Sung -he's not a mediocre player, but god damn does he work his ass off. each and every time. He's made some great progress for asian footballers. Always happy to see him running around on the pitch.

themanguydude · 3 months

Fernando Torres. Lulz

Syran · 3 months

Asamoah Gyan, loved him for Ghana in the 2010 world cup. Loved him when he was Chelsea-slayer for Sunderland. He missed a penalty against Zambia, but that's that. I'm a huge Ghana fan and he's just a very good finisher and not much more or less. He's better than mediocre and worse than World Class, but his technique is pretty good and he's efficient all around.

Chive · 3 months

Gerry Armstrong. Purely and simply for this goal.

icehockeyhair · 3 months

Simon Lappin. Great attitude, frozen out of the side by Glenn Roeder and forced to train with the youth team. Kept going, and forced his way back in.
After two consecutive promotions where he played the majority of games, he is very much a squad player (the shock when he was in the starting XI against QPR was sufficient to get him trending on Twitter) but gives his all when he gets the chance.
He never scores mind.

talvi · 3 months

Grant Holt. Great player.

bogus2112 · 3 months

Antonio Nocerino he is a good substitute. He run for the ball everytime and score some goals from time to time. Even hatricks. He is a good mediocre player.

PEengineer · 3 months

Denilson, played for my team in Sao Paulo and did some great stuff, was even called to the Brazilian national team, then he went to Real Betis and no one has seen him ever since

balancedhighs · 3 months

Walter Pandiani. Because he drives an articulated lorry, rather than sports car.

NukeWild · 3 months

Matt Smith.

He's 6'6", played non-league during his law degree and scored a lot, graduated Uni and signed for Oldham last summer. He's scored a few winners and point-savers coming on as a sub sporadically this season.

ChocolateCONEr · 3 months

Kevin Kilbane, even at the ripe old age of 66 does he bust his ass to get a game.

repost-is-relative · 3 months

Antoine Sibierski, turned up on a free, on January deadline day under Roeder to choruses of 'who the hell is he and why have we bought him', but he just went about heading in goals and setting up Oba Martins through several rounds of the Intertoto Cup, then left after a year. You can't get more mediocre than that but I love him as he won fans over with his effort on the pitch and personality off it.

nextman6515 · 3 months

Leon Britton. He has the highest percentage of accurate passes in europe, yet no goals or assists.

hansibit · 3 months

Wouldn't call him medicore, but Sven Bender deserves some love. The guy runs as much as two players, knows his shit when it comes to tackles and is so damn consistent. When people talk about Dortmunds defense they always start with Hummels but I think Bender is such an important piece!

t0rk · 3 months

Lewandowski. He's polish.

mcityftw · 3 months

Sean Wright-Phillips, well liked by team mates and managers, seems to have a great attitude, never stops working even when he barely plays. Capable of flashes of brilliance. Hell, I cheer for QPR when they are on just because of him. (Unless they are playing Citeh)

jklz · 3 months

I don't know if you can call him mediocre, but Seydou Keita. Doesn't complain about sitting on the bench, performs well almost all the time, clean player and just a good player overall.

anothermuffin · 3 months

Gabriel Agbonlahor

thatdani · 3 months

Wayne Routledge!

Beast in Fifa 12 :)

cainsdebest · 3 months

Salomon kalou is my favourite player of all time , so much so that I want him to leave Chelsea so that he can get starting football

snakedog · 3 months

John O'Shea Uniteds unsung hero

iworkinakitchen · 3 months

Damien Duff. Was an awesome wing player and he's an irishman.

drmcgillicuddy · 3 months

Chris Fucking Eagles.

Iamthescientist · 3 months

I love George Elokobi, I've no idea why.

Mike81890 · 3 months

Jay Spearing. Looks like a mentally handicapped toddler genetically mutated with a bulldog, is a little over-tenacious with some tackles, and isn't getting any younger, but he's got the Liverpool way down

defoe99 · 3 months

Better than mediocre but Scott Parker just puts in more effort than anyone else on the field when he is playing.

fenryka · 3 months

Brek Shea because he carried FCD this year when David Ferreira was out, and he's an amusing fellow

EDIT: also Jackson, Marvin Chavez and others FCD had the last two years

bigwoody · 3 months

Roger Levesque

Far from the most talented player on the Sounders, but he has a knack for pissing off our rivals, occasional moments of sheer brilliance (stripping the opposing keeper for a goal comes to mind), and hilarious goal celebrations (the dunk tank celebration after the same goal).

Honorable mention to Mike Fucito.

RodgerReddit · 3 months

arshavin. :(

EepyDee · 3 months

Club legend 'Hoof' Grant Brown, you can guess where the nickname came from. I still model my defensive game on him whenever I play.

AWaffleTooFar · 3 months

Elano

b00ks · 3 months

I don't know if I would consider him mediocre, but this still gives me goosebumps... so yea.

gragoon · 3 months

Rodrigo "El Pony" Ruiz because he was a key player for Santos and Neza... and he is still playing.

Algosaubi · 3 months

Milivoje Novakovic. I don't know why, but I just love his style on the pitch...

oddvr · 3 months

Derbyshire

eldenv · 3 months

Julio Arca

hurfery · 3 months

The Powerhouse

ewankenobi · 3 months

All finishing/finished their careers now, but I always liked Nobbie Solano, Robbie Savage and John Arne Riise despite none of them ever playing for clubs I support or being considered world class by anyone.

As a Rangers fan I always liked Alan Hutton, Craig Moore and Sasa Papac when everyone else seemed to think they were shit and all eventually became good players that all the fans liked.

Also always saw potential in Charlie Adam when the rest of our support were getting on his back. We stupidly played him wide as we had really good central midfielders at the time, and he's too slow for a wide midfielder, Rangers fans have never been the most patient with youngsters, so he was pretty much booed every touch by his own fans by always thought he was talented. Then we sold him for pennies, and look where he is now :(

As a Barcelona fan I always loved Marquez. He always kept it simple for Barca and played a supporting role for the stars. When he played for Mexico he got to be more the main man, and he always looked like he revelled in it. Think he was a guy that really got the max out of his abilities and appreciated he was lucky to have achieved everything he did.

default_android · 3 months

Juan Pablo Angel or Nolberto Solano, constantly a source of frustration but when they got it right they got it rights, more ups and downs than Hamlet

HedonisticVibrations · 3 months

For my team it has to be Steve Howard. Signed for £50,000 and fired us all into the Championship, mostly with his head!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Howard

Alikese · 3 months

Probably Angelo Di Livio. Hard working, tough-nosed little bastard who always made his team better. And when Fiorentina was relegated to Serie C he went down with the team and helped to build them back up.

Class guy.

beer_OMG_beer · 3 months

All of Lyon's starting 11 qualifies qualifies under these parameters in one way or another.

bbkdta · 3 months

Simone Pepe. because of his golf swing celebration.

Vandimar · 3 months

Frankie Hejduk because slide tackles.

fanolato2 · 3 months

Every player in Motagua.

OxyCottonTail · 3 months

good question. I'm partial to dean windass. i enjoyed watching paul dickov at the height of his terrier like annoyance. i have a soft spot for duncan ferguson. and, because i support west ham, a shout out to freddy sears - in my mind a wunderkind but i think to most a curious little whip big on pace and short on everything else. but still, love you freddy

Heiminator · 3 months

Mario Basler, german midfielder from the 90's, selfproclaimed chain smoker, vulgar, arrogant, aggressive son of a bitch, but no one was better at kicking the ball from a resting position, his corners were legendary and he would never hold back his opinion in front of a microphone

I feel modern day soccer lacks characters like him :-)

thedumbdown · 3 months

Ray Parlour. He worked his socks off and after the game would kick back a few pints w/ the old gang. Had a scorcher of a long shot and was able to adapt his game from the old English style to the new European style before retiring.

Goose_Sandals · 3 months

Freddy Adu. Americas wonderboy.

swiftekho · 3 months

Tom Cleverley (yes, Im biased). He is brilliant to watch and will only get better if he can avoid injury. Mediocre now though.

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