One sober evening I decided my list is very different from the one already posted: edit: a lot of responses about gagging etc for the 'perfect' blowjob. This is not what I intended. My point was that a lot of men do enjoy more than the mainstream non-porno style blowjob where the woman just sucks the cock without any deepthroating, hands on the head etc. A lot of women freak out when they find out their guy wants that. I'm just saying that these men are not freaks to want that. They're also not freaks to want just the same amount of attention to their cocks as the woman demand their man to go down on them.

1. Penis size: When you've tried small, medium and large you realize there are advantages to each. The reality is that no matter what your size you can really suck in bed (pardon the pun), blow her mind or something in between. Men with dicks so small that the woman can't feel it: If she loves you, she will work it out with you. These men have an advantage: if they're smart they will please the women in so many more ways than just pumping it in and out.

2. Being clean to begin with is awesome: There is nothing more beautiful than both partners being clean and then getting all sweaty and turned on together.

3. Protection: I think this should go without saying, but sadly too many men try to persuade women to not use a condom. News flash! She could be carrying a disease! Just because she may be cute, doesn't mean she hasn't been nasty with others before. Pulling out just before cumming isn't safe.

4. Communication: Be clear. If you want it to be a one nighter and thats it or just casual etc tell her. Please please please. Not all women want a relationship. Many women want casual sex nowadays too and still get hurt unnecessarily.

5. Go down on her. Then ask if you're doing it the way she likes. There's nothing more frustrating than a girl that lays there wishing she could tell him that he's doing it wrong. edit: this is more of a comment to those in a committed loving relationship

6. Go down on him. edit: again intended more for the person in a committed loving relationship There's nothing wrong with him wanting to put his hands on your head or wanting to face fuck you. The perfect blowjob sometimes includes face fucking and gagging (Sometimes even extra saliva and a little puke are involved if you're into that, which isn't the norm). The problem is that men don't realize how scary this is when the girl has never done it before and has never been told how much you want it. Men really shouldn't just do these things without discussing it with her. If they put their hand on their head and start to push down, be mindful of how she's feeling. If it's the first time guide her back up to you and ask her how she's doing. Compliments are always welcome. edit: Of course slow sensual blowjobs etc can be perfect too. It depends on the man and how you both communicate. I mentioned 'puke' only because some women want to lose their gag reflex in order to be face fucked and unfortunately its sometimes a bit of a side effect.

7. This is really part two of 6. When you (men) want her to improve and be able to deepthroat etc, give her breaks! Young men somehow think all women can deep throat continually. She needs to take her head off your cock or she will puke all over you big time. The more encouragement, compliments and cunnilingus you give her, the more she's going to want to do what you want and improve her cock sucking skills.

8. Body Type: Everyone is attracted to different body types. For example, plus size women that believe they'll never find a sexy man to have amazing sex with are sadly believing a lie put forth by the media and many people around them (or just their own insecurities). Believe it or not, I weigh over 300 lbs and my sex life is 10 times better than when I was 100 lbs less. To the jerks out there who want to tell me to lose weight, you're assuming I'm not trying and that its easy to do. This isn't about how 'fat' I am. I only mention this because it's a common response. Edit: women need to be confident about themselves. That's what not only makes them sexy, but helps them stay sexy and improve their health. For me, I find it easier to lose weight when I feel good about myself.

9. Chemistry is so important. Just because you like someone and your personalities match, doesn't mean you're going to be electric in the bedroom.

10. It's worth it to have casual sex (or date them) with someone older and more experienced that absolutely loves sex. All of those components are important. Sex is just like any other skill, teachers are sometimes needed. The first time a guy slowly ran his fingers through my hair and then gently started pulling from the roots…Absolute heaven. I had no idea that would happen.

11. Kink/BDSM is not just about pain or weird stuff (it can be and that's fine). It's about trust. Giving up all control is freeing. Or taking control/taking care of someone can also be very pleasurable. Well…I could probably go on for hours, but I'm stopping here.