Most Ridiculous Characters?

BalboBiggins · 3 months

My favorite is a Kenku Bard that had a familiar (D&D 4e). The DM told me I could have tropical plumage similar to a parrot when I asked, so I chose a parrot familiar and decided it would be my long lost brother. The parrot allowed me to speak through it and being a Kenku allowed me to alter my voice however I chose.

I played the character such that nobody was ever sure which bird was the master and which was the familiar, and sang barbershop quartet with myself.

I was known across the land as Brad the Bird Bard.

Abstruse · 3 months

3rd Edition. My DM wanted to run an "old school" game...roll 4d6 drop 1 in order and that's your stats, NO REARRANGING! I ended up with a set of stats that I considered unplayable and begged and pleaded to be able to just swap out two of them or re-roll (seriously, my Chr and Con were the only two high stats while my Str, Wis, and Dex were single digits...what the hell do you DO with that?!) I was told I had to play those stats come hell or high water.

Therefore, I played the world's most obnoxious half-orc bard.

He was killed in an "accident" during the second fight of the night and a rule was placed at the comic shop that no one was ever allowed to play a bard again.

asianwaste · 3 months

Warforged monk. Emphasizing on grappling. I played out his persona like Machoman Randy Savage (pre-skyrim video. At the time I had just seen Space Ghost Coast to Coast with SG's grandpa).

His shtick also included crafting and selling an exercise bow of his own design(think Bow Flexes, which were on the very same episode's commercial time). People would often question the validity of his testimony as he is a living construct with no muscles. He would usually answer by yelling "YYYEEAAAA!" and then breaks furniture over his head.

If I played the character more, I would have also put some barbarian levels in so I can get a rage.

Best moments? The party got into a fight with a haughty rival adventuring troupe. The mage was throwing spells at us from a floating platform. I got up there and grabbed the mage, yelled, "YEEEAAAAA!" and jumped off the platform with her. We both sustained falling damage, but I took less because of I am made of a different material. She took extra crushing damage because we had a mid air dexterity struggle to make sure she lands first. Flattened her in 1 turn.
Both the party and the rivals all stopped in total awe in what just happened. When the dust cleared, there stood a metal construct flexing the nonmuscles he has over a dead elf.

Greatest moment ever.

VeryTallTrees · 3 months

One of my favorite characters was a Gnome paladin, I decided I didn't want to wait until I got my mount at level 5 so I tried to buy one. The stables had no riding dogs (village was rather poor) but I managed to buy a goat from one of the stable hands. He was awesome, his name was Rupert. About half way through the night the party found a giant crystalline obelisk called the "Obelisk of souls". I did something dumb and my soul was forced into the body of my goat mount. I played the rest of the campaign as a goat, smiting evil using my head-butt attack, and healing with my Lay on hooves. It was fun.

Oh yeah, one of my buddies tied a spear to my back so that it protruded forward over my right shoulder, I used that in combat too.

ENoether · 3 months

Tomorrow I will be playing a dwarven monk, drunken master archetype, named Fistbeard Beardfist.

I'm, uh . . . I'm not taking this campaign particularly seriously.

Haragorn · 3 months

A player in a game I run wanted, for some reason, to have a kobold superhero. I told him kobolds didn't have superheroes, but he was adamant. So, I let it go, and gave him a few hidden abilities that even he doesn't know about. He is insane, and sees things when he's alone. This is also why he believes he is a superhero. His previous adventures were all hallucinations. He is also a Psion, one of the first in the world. His psionic abilities activate randomly, and with minimal description.

ShipsPonys · 3 months

my current silly party in a newb 3.5 setting with a relaxed DM.

Maddogenes "Madd Jack" Oldman the Kobold Drag Queen. A 120 year old gnome cleric of princess celestia. he wears a full plate bath robe, and rides a warpony.(My character)

Hullock "HULK" Smashing. A barbarian fighter. does almost nothing but attack everything he sees. Prefers a door shield.

Orthos "fun guy". Human Wizard. a fungus fearing squishy wizard. wears almost no clothing and uses potions and alchemy.

Caladin the Paladin. A human superhero moral compass. So far has killed 40 Kobold babys on accident. Ends most sentences with "AND SAVE THE DAY"

Virion bladerunner. Half-Elf Rouge who steals everything in sight. Speaks beholder and dark elf silent.

Jake Steel. Human Ranger. Took as much leatherworking as he could, and skins everything we fight. Our fearless leader, and the only one levelheaded.

LynxMentor · 3 months

One of my friends once played (in 3.5e, I believe) a monk that focused on tripping. He took feats, and I think ranks as well that played towards those feats... But it turned out that by 3rd or 4th level, he was able to make 2 trip checks per round, and his bonuses were so high that he basically couldn't fail to trip a biped. Once he tripped the enemy, he would basically kill them while they were prone. The DM had had enough of this, so he decided to set up an encounter with a giant centipede. Somehow, after rolling 100 trip checks, the monk tripped the centipede.

I have another one, as well:

Now this is the story about how

my campaign got flipped, turned upside down

And I'd it's gonna take a minute, so just grit your teeth

I'll tell you about the interdimensional pants theif.

In the north part of Greyhawk born and raised

On the dockside is where I spent most of my days

Duelin' droolin' Swashbucklin' with my sword

And lookin' for adventures when I got bored

When the DM's friends started playing NPC's

Started takin' liberties with high fantasy

One appeared to me, my sword unsheathed

He said: "Beware, for I am the interdimensional pants theif."

I begged and pleaded with the DM that day

But he was very adamant about having it his way

So even after hearing all of my rants

The party began to worship the God of the Pants

At first I was like: "Hey man, this is bad"

rolling reflex saves to keep my pants on my ass

"This is the stupidest god I ever heard,"

He goes around stealin' pants then he flies like a bird

We were on an adventure, when we came to an inn

The pants theif was back, to the game some spin

He left me with nothing; not even a fig leaf

robbed by the interdimensional pants thief

I looked at the DM, my face was red

And I yelled to him, "This is fucking retarded!"

Snapped my laptop shut, and walked off full of grief

My campaign was ended by that damned pants thief.

Yeah. So basically, the DM let his buddy play an NPC that existed for no purpose other than randomly stealing characters' pants. It was the stupidest idea I had ever heard, but I guess it makes an ok story.

mycatisbetterthanyou · 3 months

In the game I'm currently running we have a druid with a rhinoceros animal companion, for which he had a set of full plate armor and a custom saddle made. So he likes to turn into a bear, use produce flame, and ride into battle atop his armored rhino while breathing fire. He also once convinced a bunch of chickens that he had "all of the corn" and that they should join him and his companions so they could have a mobile food source. The chickens spread the word around, and this whole fiasco ended with ten thousand disgruntled chickens trying to kill the players for not having the promised food. The other players in this game are pretty interesting as well. One of our two rogues is a changeling who has devoted his life to using his transformation abilities to fuck with people, and the other rogue got a sculptor to follow him around and start working in a new medium: feces. I regret to say that I've rolled many a natural 20 on the shit sculptor's craft checks.

HighSalinity · 3 months

I wasn't ion the group at the time, but one of the players there multiclassed at every level. After level 4 the DM was like, "you know, there are XP penalties if they get too far apart in level, right?" Afraid of XP penalties he decided to multiclass at every. single. level. He ended up being a great fighter from what I hear. XD

EdofDoom · 3 months

I once made a 3.5 ninja at level 5. I asked the DM if I could have a magic weapon, and I requested a Flaming Kusari-gama. However, the weapon would only stay lit if the ninja made whooshing noises.

Count_Bruno · 3 months

From /tg/:

Make a bear character in D&D 3.5

DM laughs

Make bear a rogue.

Put every point I can into disguise

Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise

DM says I cant speak english

Max out bluff

By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english)

use money to hire a butler NPC

Give him magical item to let him speak bear

"GROWWWWWL"

"An excellent suggestion. Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh."

Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington

Queen holds a dinner in my honor

A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise

Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!"

Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity

"We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behavior"

"ROAR" shrug

Uberninjaa · 3 months

My friends invited me over to play DnD. They had already started. To stick me into the story, they stuck me in a coffin. I (a dwarf fighter) had no memory of who I was. I was also mute, and spelled everything out on a note book I kept with me. I would always happen to have the coolest things to do and the most random skills.

One time my friend was sick of sleeping and made up some story about freezing in his tent. I walked in and poured a pot hot soup on him. He claimed it froze and entombed him.

Later I used the pot as a helmet and busted through a wall to save my friend from a dragon.

Also: my name was Squakers

archebus · 3 months

A 5th career monk style character in WFRP named Atma.

He was the only surviving member of a number of campaigns and just refused to die. After the entire party except him was wiped out he rolled up a new character for the next session with the group, but we continued his monks story as a 1v1 campaign.

Because the character turned out so epic we decided that he was a decendant of the old-ones. From here I wrote an epic that had him scouring the lands for places of power that would give him ridiculous abilities. He had 8 attacks, and an agility of 100. He had abilities that let him catch ranged attacks out of the air and add natural energy to his attacks without a magic characteristic. As well as the natural ability to dispel and absorb spells, as well as some reflect damage style abilities. (all of this had to be earned though). We were more having fun with the abilities than going too heavy on the story. I pitted him against an army of bandits in one sitting, and after killing the 25th or so it became a bit boring and obvious he was going to win.

He ended up battling a few of the greater chaos daemons and only just coming out victorious. His next quest, as granted by visions from his old-one ancestors, was to close the eye of chaos. So he wandered into the chaos wastes far to the North and upon reaching the eye was (rather anti-climacticly) ripped apart by the combined forces of the 4 chaos gods afraid that he would succeed in shutting them out of the Old World.

Gone_Canada_Postal · 3 months

I once created a wood elf ranger in which the GM thought it would be hilarious to curse me in the first 5 minutes. He allowed me to select any disorder I could think of. So I choose pica with the restriction that it would allow me to sustain myself as per food. I went though most of the game sneaking into enemy camps and eating there weapons and armor. Eventually I critically missed and broke all my teeth and starved to death.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_%28disorder%29

JTHipster · 3 months

Chuffy Lickwood.

He was a Goblin rogue for Pathfinder. Chuffy was a good lad, worked hard with his friends, and was the most skilled member of the party (seriously.) But Chuffy was also a very horny goblin......with an acne ridden face. But that was okay, because it was Chuffy Lickwood.

He was too beautiful for this world.

IN LOVING MEMORY

SpottyWot · 3 months

In 3.5 many years ago, I had: Dim Sim Tasti-Sushi, the oriental ninja river dragon.

insanityv2 · 3 months

My friend's playing a Malkavian loosely based on Abed from Community.

"This is usually the part of the episode where we'd all realize that it's man that's the real monster. But in this case it isn't. It's us. Because we're the ones with the fangs."

In my current Eclipse Phase game, I'm playing an AGI that is a deposed Friend Computer from an Alpha Complex that never was.

conuor · 3 months

So me and a couple of my buddies decided that we wanted to play a space campaign. And with this group of characters things tend to get very interesting.

Douggerd Dogstart: basically a a chocolate lab that walks upright and totes a laser claw. He is a diplomat from the war-torn planet Dogoina in search for aid to save his race when he gets mixed up with a crew of space bounty hunters, he is basically is like a Jehovah Witness with his catch phrase "Do you have a moment to talk about Dogoina?"

The Ice King of Mather: A bounty hunter from the slums of earth whose only ambitions are to get laid and smoke weed.

Ziggy Stardust: Pilot of the spaceship "Daniggus". He looks as if he could have been Freddie Mercury. He is from Mars and speaks with a German accent and acts and dresses very flamboyant, leading the rest of the crew to think he might be homosexual but none knows for sure.

Jethro Tickle: Cloned from the remains of an old prospector from the California gold rush, Jethro is completely obsessed with anything gold. He carries a laser pickax and looks as if he was 65 but has the strength and stamina of a 25 year old. He spent the last 7 earth years in a maximum security prison city (think escape from new york) until he busted out, for having sex with the presidents daughter.

Righn: A human brain placed inside a robot body, with a shady past he doesn't wish to share. (he was a pleasure model)

Xindorg: A telepathic alien that looks like cthulhu and excretes a slime on whatever he touches.

Durf (npc): Fat, lazy, disgusting, and balding. He looks alot like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force wearing nothing but wife beaters and sweat pants but hes much fatter. While the rest of the crew is of adventuring and collecting bounties Durf likes to spend his time masturbating or sleeping, and unknown to the crew he is actually the ship's Captain.

so_i_can_do_stuff · 3 months

I had a character in Mutants & masterminds that i called Psycho. His backround was pretty obvious he was crazy, he walked around in a straight-jacket often swinging his arms wildly and more often than not accidentally slapping himself with the straps at the end of his sleeves. I really enjoyed this char and my dm even helped me come up with some his quirks which included 2 other personalities that my dm would play for my character whenever he went berserk (berserk was a flaw that i chose for my char to make him more interesting and dangerous) but yeah antics of his included licking the sharp blade another char was holding at his throat, going incorporeal out of a car that he had lost control of leaving other character to fend for themselves (think the twins from the 2nd matrix), and talking to his other personalities that no1 else could see.

zalecot · 3 months

Copperhead a war-forged warlock who was dug out of the remains of a huge battle between the war-forged and used as a slave for years. Because they couldn't find a vision plate they bolted a copper pot to his head and cut holes for his vision lens.

He escapes from being a slave end finds a band of adventures.

By the end of the game he is the winner of the gladiatorial tournament in the City of Brass in the Elemental Plain of Chaos. During the final battle he accidentally ripped a hole in the dimensional wall and released a primordial lust goddess who killed everyone except him in a heathen blood orgy. He only survived because he was a robot. (Copperhead if fortunately able to stitch his allies back together)

Lots of other things happen as well.

SleepyFingers · 3 months

Hymen Megalazer, who once used a mob (and the rest of the party) to nearly kill a wizard who was 8 levels higher than us. We all died, but so did that shitty campaign.

lurker6412 · 3 months

In the day time, he was Zarathustra the Rat Trapper. A human rogue sociopath. He would steal and take things just because he could, and cared little of what his fellow party members thought. He kept a pet rat named Socrates. One day (actually on the first day of the campaign) Zarathustra decided to kill the NPC next door, kills the man's young wife, skins and scalp her, and proceeds to wear her skin and dress to the nearby trading outpost. The party was then chased off by the locals.

At night, Zarathustra would wear the skin and dress of the woman he slain, and would become Svetlana Gaborshavik the Reaper of Souls. A female rogue serial killer. She would spare no NPCs; the rest of party was afraid of her and would just tag along.

It was a fun campaign.

You_Win_Reddit · 3 months

We played an Exalted game when it first came out and several of the players chose characters that were inspired by mythological gods or heroes. So my friend makes a character named Narciss that is totally in love with himself. He is a Dawn cast solar exalted badass that fought with a rapier in one hand and a hand mirror in the other. He came up with all sorts of funny ways to use that mirror like throwing knives over hi shoulder or dueling multiple opponents while winking at himself and making kissy noises.

To his credit- my friend really commited to the role and rarely came out of character. He talked and smiled like Alec Baldwin all night.

mkgorgone · 3 months

I was running a Serenity RPG campaign about five years ago and had my players go up against a group of space pirates who's captain was an actual peg-legged, hook-handed, plume-hat-wearing pirate. This was meant as a quick joke but unfortunately they managed to capture him and I was forced to come up with a back story.

Thus was born Captain Kang Garoo, the down on his luck pirate. Within Serenity he became something of a mascot to the crew who would throw him at dangerous situations to test the waters (so to speak). Captain Garoo has since reappeared in campaigns across the genre spectrum including D&D (both 3.5 & 4th), Demon Hunters RPG (Goofy Urban Fantasy), Call of Cthulhu and Dresden Files RPG (less goofy urban fantasy). No matter the setting though he will always appear as the quintessential pirate who is trying to turn his life around.

cartmanbeck · 3 months

My favorite character is my dwarven Magus (pathfinder, btw) that has the ability to deliver his spells either through his scimitar or by punching people with his beard. I got the idea from the Family Guy clip where Chuck Norris's beard hides a fist and punches Brian. My dwarf, Gorm, has a gauntlet tied into his beard, and at random times during the battle he'll scream "BEARDPUNCH" and the gauntlet will shoot out and smack the dude in front of him. It's only a secondary natural attack but made for a few good laughs.

SMTRodent · 3 months

After lots of tank clerics, cunning rogues and other types of badass, I am really enjoying playing Prettymage Sparklesocks. She's a sorcerer in 3.5e and has already acquitted herself well in battle. It was the first time any of the players have seen Unseen Servant used in a combat situation. (The enemy got off a successful area sleep spell and took out our front line, so she used US to shake them awake.) I thought the party of manly men would dislike this pretty, girly froofy elf, but she's actually respected. She is helluva fun to play.

Rymage · 3 months

So i have this character. And every time I explain his back story it takes me about ten minutes so here we go. He started out as a male pixie named splee. He was a sorcerer who ran away from home because he didn't believe in fighting in the pixie war that ravaged his homeland. He adventured with our group for a while until one day he was summoned home by his parents who were in grave danger and he was forced to fight in the pixie war. To defend the group in splee's place his parents sent forth a prayer to summon a holiphant to defend our adventuring party in splee's absence. The holiphant's sworn duty was to protect the entire group at no matter what cost. Horton the holiphant adventured with the group for sometime until he sensed that splee was in danger. He teleported to splee's location and found him being slowly poisoned by a spell that was created to destroy and fey creatures. The holiphant acted quickly and used a permanent change form spell on splee transforming him into the most human like form the holiphant could create which ended up being a loxo. The bipedal elephant creature with two trunks with hands on the ends from the monster manual II i believe. Splee met up with the group who were delighted to see him and they kept adventuring. Over the course of his journey splee picked up an interest in nature and picked up and picked up the dual class of druid. Since splee's new form was generally shunned by most commoners in cities he devoted himself to become more and more powerful. He then aspired to become a geomancer which as you know with each level gained in it, it mutates the user more and more. Splee is now an elephant man with zebra stripes, a monkey tail, eagle wings, antlers, a camel hump, photosynthetic leaves and the ability to shoot ink like a squid. Splee is so hideous that he has to use a change shape spell everytime he is in public. His favorite appearance tends to be a man looking very much like today's morgan freeman. Now of course being so grotesque splee is shunned by every woman he comes across. Due to this he has developed the sick urge of child molestation. While the other members of the group seek out drunk maidens in bars, splee prowls the streets for lonely orphans. He has been reprimanded by many cities for his actions and is now forced to wear armor with an enchantment that makes it glow amber whenever he comes within 100 feet of a child. This is the armor of amber alert. As you can see we run quite the interesting campaign. haha. Splee is the weirdest character i have ever created in Dnd and i hope I never make one stranger. haha. Thank you for your time lol

Dellhunty · 3 months

My friend made a human fighter who was overweight and had a swastika and 'Bogan Livin' tatoo on his face.

MicroBoehner · 3 months

like...a fish...a fish with tits

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