top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]percypersimmon 1517 points1518 points ago

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I guess we're just not ready for a black president.

[–]chiggers 955 points956 points ago

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You never go "full black".

[–]Farris_Kiddo 332 points333 points ago

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Clinton went full black, they crucified him. Poor bastard.

[–]will60137 147 points148 points ago

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Saxophone and all. We need another kick ass president like him

[–][deleted] 149 points150 points ago

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i only ever knew that Bill played the sax because of Animaniacs

[–]lanemik 34 points35 points ago

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I'm old enough to remember him playing it in Arsenio Hall.

woop woop woop!

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

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It's cool how you capitalized "Animaniacs" but didn't bothered with "i."

[–]monsda 48 points49 points ago

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Priorities.

[–]Doctor_Loggins 3 points4 points ago

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prIorItIes

[–]hamster-of-thor 56 points57 points ago

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But if we do, we'll never go back.

[–]diamond 28 points29 points ago

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No more rhymes now, I mean it!

[–]Niloc0 77 points78 points ago

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Anybody want a peanut?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Gah!

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

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not to mention hes slightly more fucking stupid than the rest of the candidates..

[–]econleech 33 points34 points ago

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Pretty true, but I think Rick Perry would give him a run for the money.

[–]GhostInSmoke 21 points22 points ago

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Rick Perry doesn't know what a decade is, doesn't know what the Sixteenth Amendment is, who Woodrow Wilson and FDR are, or even what the New Deal was

[–]habitualLineStepper 16 points17 points ago

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Doesn't that make him the perfect republican candidate ? I mean he's the total opposite of the "lib'rul elite". I mean, fuck those intellectuals with their books and learning. He already proved you don't need no stinkin books to send people to the chair. And you don't need no books to push the button either.

[–]Thue 514 points515 points ago*

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From http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/12/03/herman-cain-suspends-his-presidential-campaign/?hp

An unapologetic and defiant Herman Cain suspended his presidential campaign on Saturday, pledging that he “would not go away,” even as he abandoned hope of winning the Republican nomination. Instead, Mr. Cain announced what he called a “Plan B,” continued advocacy of his tax and foreign policy plan

His foreign policy plan? Like his views on Ubeki-beki-beki-stan-stan, or when he didn't remember which side of the Libya conflict the US supported? Edit: Or how China may develop nuclear weapons!

[–]SocotraBrewingCo 834 points835 points ago

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Something tells me he has a lot of experience with this "Plan B."

[–]winkler 138 points139 points ago

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I like what you did there.

[–]vagrantwade 51 points52 points ago

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I had to go buy Plan B today. So many $50 purchases that have saved my ass. Cue 'ass' pun joke.

[–]Shredder13 48 points49 points ago

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They really saved your ass. Did I do it right?

[–]basmith7 19 points20 points ago

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No. You just made yourself look like an ass.

[–]Shredder13 15 points16 points ago

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Well you're an asshole!

[–]designLeviathan 7 points8 points ago

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quit licking my hand you horse's ass

[–]basmith7 49 points50 points ago

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I can dar-a-lick my own balls, thank you very much.

[–]daychilde 45 points46 points ago

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pledging that he “would not go away,”

Actually, no, please do just go away, okay? Just go away.

[–]pneumo 1267 points1268 points ago

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how long until he writes a book and works for Fox News?

[–]Saivo 163 points164 points ago

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He should totally write a book titled "If I did it", a fictitious work exploring the implications of his election victory over Obama in 2012.

[–]DucksEchoes 70 points71 points ago

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Book 2, If I did them.

[–]cortana 20 points21 points ago

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Book 3: *Not intended to be a factual statement.

[–]olivermihoff 938 points939 points ago

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After touching the lives of so many people, he decided to pull out.

[–]olivermihoff 125 points126 points ago

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Maybe he'll win the 2016 erection.

[–]stevo_knevo 94 points95 points ago

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In korea?

[–]samahh 7 points8 points ago

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Yeah, hopefully he'll be a good successor to Kim Jong Ir.

[–]StevenViper 358 points359 points ago

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...Of that one chick

[–][deleted] 397 points398 points ago

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. . . Of those nine chicks

[–][deleted] 145 points146 points ago

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...of so many people.

[–]ken_NT 141 points142 points ago

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I bet I could pull out of 100 chicks

[–]MHath 146 points147 points ago

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If you can't, don't feel badly about yourself. With my special training program, anyone can pull out of 100 chicks in 7 weeks.

[–]SheaF91 313 points314 points ago

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Well, I certainly applaud anyone wanting to pull out of 100 women, but take it from this old sex rat, I've spent my entire adult life inside people, and a program like this one can do more harm than good.

If you only train one part of your penis (and that's all a single exercise like pulling out is going to do for you), you're setting yourself up for injuries down the road. I've seen it a hundred times.

Pulling-out basically only trains your lower abdomen, and to some extent, your reflexes. What you really want to do is train your entire reproductive system, all the major sexual organs (penis, testicles, among other things) at the same time, over the course of a workout. And don't forget your cardiovascular work!

I'm proud of you guys wanting to do this. Three thrusts! Falling in love with making love, eating her out, etc., is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. And you WILL fall in love with it if you can just force yourself to stick it in her a year or two and experience the amazing progress you'll make.

But do it right, okay?

My advice, find a good girl, with experience, who will design your sexual routines for you (especially in the beginning, until you get the hang of it yourself) and guide you in your quest for sexual prowess. Thirty to 45 minutes a day, three days a week, is all you'll ever need to do (I refuse to believe anyone is so busy that he or she cannot make time for that, especially considering how awesome it is).

And don't worry about being embarrassed or ejaculating prematurely the first time you have sex with a girl. You have to start somewhere and almost every one of us were there ourselves at one time. So no one will say anything to you and very, very quickly you will progress way beyond that stage anyway.

Now get out there and do her! :-)

[–]YeaDudeImOnReddit 55 points56 points ago

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And don't worry about being embarrassed or ejaculating prematurely the first time you have sex with a girl. You have to start somewhere and almost every one of us were there ourselves at one time.

As a sex guy myself I can completely confirm this.

If I see a beta male standing on the wall I'm gonna be a judgmental arsehole.

If I see a beta male on a woman, actually ejaculating, I'm thinking good on you mate.

[–]Cruxius 38 points39 points ago

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I bet I could eat 100 premature ejaculations.

[–]realfinkployd 1 point2 points ago

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This is a meme best served rarely, and you pulled it off with class :)

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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I'm pretty sure you are trolling but that is quite good advice.

[–]JokerandThief42 73 points74 points ago

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No no, I've seen this before. This is a really obscure meme that I don't completely remember but I'm upvoting him because fuck, thats a lot of text and he deserves it for the effort.

[–]pox_ 12 points13 points ago

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Its from a meme.

[–]TheEhSteve 32 points33 points ago

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Oh boy, here we go.

[–]Chuggo 19 points20 points ago

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Yeah, I'm excited too. 7 weeks is very reasonable.

[–]peon47 15 points16 points ago

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Way better than that "6 weeks" program the other guys offer. I mean, who can learn anything in 6 weeks?

[–]tense_n_nervous 67 points68 points ago

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I heard that motherfucker had like, 30 goddamn dicks.

[–]Benniul900 31 points32 points ago

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I'm pretty sure that was Washington

[–]Cool_and_the_Gang 27 points28 points ago

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He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

[–]laughingmanv2 8 points9 points ago

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He'll save the children, but not the British children.

[–]21echoes 3 points4 points ago

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have you seen Brad Neely's new show on Adult Swim? pretty sick.

[–]ThePieOfSauron 27 points28 points ago

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I like how your comment wasn't related to pneumo's at all; you just tacked your joke onto the top comment so more people would see it.

[–]mrhargett 12 points13 points ago

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I like how you passive-aggressively called him out for it.

[–]I_happen_to_disagree 11 points12 points ago

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I like how you passive-aggressively called him out for being passive-aggressive.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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I like turtles

[–]Safari_Ken 130 points131 points ago

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He already has two books out this year, so I think he's got it covered.

[–]nazbot 184 points185 points ago

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This is why he ran in the first place.

[–]Safari_Ken 94 points95 points ago

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I agree. For awhile now I've had a bet with a girl at work, that he'd drop out before the nominee is announced, because he was simply plugging his latest book (which is about how awesome he would be at presidentin'). We've already seen two other GOP "candidates" who were obviously just in it for the money and publicity (Trump and Palin), so it didn't seem like too difficult a stretch to me. Looks like I just won myself a candy bar!

[–]rjung 35 points36 points ago

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Don't forget Gingrich. He's just there to pump up his speaking fees.

[–]gnudarve 55 points56 points ago

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Is that what you kids are callin' it these days?

[–]dock_ellis_lsd 14 points15 points ago

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Trump is going to moderate a GOP debate this month...

[–]AnusFelcherMD 42 points43 points ago

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The Republicans aren't even trying this time. It's like they just accepted. Obama is going to win, so they're like 'fuck it, let's just have some fun'.

[–]Jonne 23 points24 points ago

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There's a good chance Obama could lose. The Republicans have been good at convincing a good chunk of Americans that the economy is down the toilet because of him (which is completely false ofcourse, but there's only so many times Obama can say "it was already broken before I got here!").

[–]dannyboylee 15 points16 points ago

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Obama has done a perfectly good job on his own of convincing me not to vote for him.

[–]Jonne 45 points46 points ago

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From my non-American perspective Obama is still better than whichever clown gets the republican nomination.

[–]spider2544 14 points15 points ago

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This was his plan from the start. Theres only 3 people really trying to be president in that group the rest are looking for fox news gigs and book deals.

[–]smacksaw 39 points40 points ago

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It's been said that all of these guys are in it to make money except Romney, who is going to win the nomination anyway. I think the pundits are right.

All of these guys just inflated their speaking fees and helped their book sales.

Fucking rubes.

[–]ObiWonCannoli 13 points14 points ago

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Technically that doesn't make them the rubes. It makes the GOP electorate rubes.

[–]aakaakaak 5 points6 points ago

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Herman Cain's popularity initially started (outside of the pizza world) with guest hosting Sean Hannity's radio show. He's already in the Fox circle of doom.

[–]dbfish 18 points19 points ago

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"There's never an egg timer around when you need one."

[–]tatonkadonk 7 points8 points ago

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3..2..1!

[–]jedimonkey 21 points22 points ago

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9.9.9

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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[–]kuhlmanngj 287 points288 points ago

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[–]Epistaxis 41 points42 points ago

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More like "Rumors of consensual affair end presidential campaign of accused serial sexual harasser"

[–]idontlikeanyofyou 81 points82 points ago

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why do I have the sinking feeling that they did not have to make up that headline?

[–]nlevend 85 points86 points ago

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His campaign was such a joke that even The Onion couldn't satirize it.

[–]nahreddit 72 points73 points ago

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[–]jigga19[S] 28 points29 points ago

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Thank you for this. Just...thank you.

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points ago

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I LOVE how the dude had no fucking clue where Libya was, had 0 fucking political experience, stumbled through tons of shit at the debates and had the most retarded tax plan possible - AND HE WAS THE FUCKING FRONT RUNNER!

So, what gets him in trouble? Having an affair. Sucks for him, so he is out - and now he is replaced by...NEWT GINGRICH - the man who left one or more of his ex wives on their deathbed and has had a couple of affairs himself.

I don't care if you are democrat or republican or what - that shit right there is just pure fucking gold.

[–]oinkfu 17 points18 points ago

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I'd personally love to see Ron Paul v Obama in 2012. Epic battle is epic.

[–]john2kxx 22 points23 points ago*

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reddit would implode.

edit If you really want to see Obama vs. Paul as much as I do, take the 5 minutes to register Republican and vote for him in your state's primaries sometime next year. Even if you're a hardcore Obama supporter, registering R doesn't prevent you from voting for Obama in the general election, and there's no shame in wanting to see him challenged in debates on the issues that he's reluctant to talk about.

[–]thisisthis 175 points176 points ago

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Does the nomination process ultimately end in the "best man" winning or is it more like musical chairs with one chair and the guy who wins is the one who happens to be closest to the chair when the music stops playing?

[–]rocketvat 59 points60 points ago

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I'm not sure how long you've been politically active, but I've never seen a nomination process anything like this. This kind of musical chair approach to picking a candidate never happens.

[–]r4nge 23 points24 points ago

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I think it may be a symptom of technology, or that they are all shitty.

[–]rocketvat 80 points81 points ago

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It's a bizarre confluence of events and factors. Republicans usually crown the person whose "turn" it is, but this time that's Mitt Romney-- and no one likes Mitt Romney. He caps out at those 20-25% of people who think he "deserves" it this time, but the rest of the field is up for grabs. Then you've got the Tea Party ultra-conservative movement and the religious right, both of whom flock to candidates that pander to them. So you've got these 6-7 candidates who can potentially swing wildly depending on which of these massive constituencies decide to support them. Finally, you've got the fact that none of these guys are good candidates, so they can't retain support once they win it.

Add to it random things like Cain's hilarious sexual misadventures and Perry forgetting his own platform, and you've got the 2011 Republican Primary.

[–]otatop 20 points21 points ago

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It almost seems like they don't think they can beat Obama no matter who they use, so they're just giving up on a real nominee this round and seeing how much crazy is tolerable for a 2016 candidate.

[–]mitchwells 73 points74 points ago

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Republicans get in line behind the obvious candidate, at least in every primary I've paid attention to (9 of them now). Romney will be the candidate, regardless of how many republicans hate him.

[–]ttruth1 55 points56 points ago*

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He might be, but the fact the he's a Mormon is killing him. The fundies hate Mormons.

[–]mitchwells 38 points39 points ago

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I've heard many say they prefer a "real" Christian, however they'll strangely take Romney over Obama... Also the definition of Christian is changing to include Mormons.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJGxVeQw3SE

[–]ttruth1 22 points23 points ago

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Not so much. I had the misfortune to attend a large fundie church in north Idaho for a short period of time, and they referred to the Mormon faith as a cult. And they meant it...

[–]NBegovich 30 points31 points ago

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Yeah, most fundies see Mormonism as a cult.

[–]paleolithic 105 points106 points ago

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Most people consider Mormonism a cult. Because it is.

[–]Captainpatch 41 points42 points ago

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Founded by a career con artist and everything.

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points ago

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and how is this different from the other religions?

[–]JonBeer 53 points54 points ago

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Because Mormons make amazing home-made rootbeer

[–]Captainpatch 21 points22 points ago

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Simple: It was founded recently enough for the creator to undergo scrutiny. Most major religions have passed too many hands for any historical criticisms of their founders to be made. Our society in recent times (like 200 years or so) has become very thoroughly recorded.

Its like politicians, they have to clean up any dirt that can be dug up because they know that once they become a public figure there is a paper trail everywhere (which brings us back to the topic of Herman Cain).

[–]gorgewall 26 points27 points ago

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Cults have fewer members.

[–]necron30 12 points13 points ago

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It's newer than the bible.

[–]netsloth 15 points16 points ago

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Along with the rest of the world.

[–]millionsofcats 23 points24 points ago

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Who also see the fundies themselves as a cult, I'm guessing.

[–]paleolithic 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not a fundie, but I have a hard time seeing how anybody can refer to mormonism as "the mormon faith" with a straight face.

[–]Oatybar 12 points13 points ago

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Not as much as they love Authority, and theirs has told them to vote for the Mormon over the black dude.

[–]thisisthis 7 points8 points ago

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I see, thanks. This is the first US presidential candidacy I've somewhat followed, so I'm just going on how the polls seem to swing in an apparently quite random and haphazard way and that the whole thing would end up in a kinda random candidate. The other thing that struck me is how much publicity and TV time the process generates for the republican candidates. Granted, I'm not American and really only follow it through the occasional reddit update and must have a very warped POV. But it does seem from where I'm standing like a bit of an advantage to the republicans to appear (to your average American) to be on the ball and "debating and grappling with the important issues" while Obama doesn't get to respond to all the implicit and explicit criticism coming his way.

[–]EmperorSofa 457 points458 points ago

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"Wow, that's a big surprise. I thought he had a legit chance to become president and set this country on the right path"

-Nobody.

[–]SickBoy7 70 points71 points ago

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I lost it at Wow.

[–][deleted] 108 points109 points ago

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that's a big surprise. I thought he had a legit chance to become president and set this country on the right path"

-Nobody.

Here you go.

[–]BaseballGuyCAA 667 points668 points ago

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This way, he has more time to spend with your wife.

[–]maybeoffensive 124 points125 points ago

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The important thing is that for every one woman that has come forward with a sexual harassment claim, at least two women have not.

[–]gregny2002 4 points5 points ago

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Well what if those two women WEREN'T sexually harassed?

[–]LookLikeJesus 8 points9 points ago

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Given that we know he's incapable of containing himself sexually (or just happened to have a 13-year I-pay-your-rent friendship with a woman he didn't tell his wife about), and given that they each got settlements, does that really still seem likely?

[–]Pizzajam 62 points63 points ago

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This has 69 upvotes. I don't want to ruin that. I upvoted one of your comments in r/trees instead.

[–]rmkensington 11 points12 points ago

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Fark beat you to that one

[–]wardser 131 points132 points ago

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Should have used "Cain pulls out"

[–]dorkrock2 59 points60 points ago

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Cain Pulls Out Gingerly; Herman Got Soft

[–]DustyDGAF 30 points31 points ago

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Cain pulled out because he knew he'd lose the erection.

[–]jigga19[S] 19 points20 points ago

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Juggled around with "SNAP! Cain just got caned!" But that fiasco from Singapore 20 years ago might seem a bit dated.

[–][deleted] 80 points81 points ago

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Doesn't matter had sex

[–]arizonaburning 437 points438 points ago

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No Herman, it wasn't "the elites" that brought you down, it was "the Penis".

[–]Jace_09 172 points173 points ago

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Arch nemesis of male power figures around the world.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points ago

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It's like some kind of sick joke evolution positioned upon us. You receive the gift of knowledge and the power to change everything around you, but there's some bonehead strapped to your undercarriage that just won't shut up about tits.

[–]lambast 27 points28 points ago

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Not to mention that the voice is the most charismatic bastard you've ever interacted with.

[–]TheOnlyNeb 9 points10 points ago

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Aaaaand now my penis is Morgan Freeman.

[–]Peastie 38 points39 points ago

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Maybe "the elites" is just his nickname for his testes.

[–]jscoppe 4 points5 points ago

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Welp, now it's my nickname for mine, at least.

[–]jacksparrow1 12 points13 points ago

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I heard a sociologist or psychologist or some such say once "people act surprised when a man with lots of power sleeps around. That's like being surprised when someone buys a Lamborghini and drives fast. It is the purpose of the thing." (paraphrased, I'm on my phone)

[–]ejp1082 30 points31 points ago

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I'll never fathom the ego of people who think they can run for President and think this stuff will never come out about them.

[–][deleted] 90 points91 points ago

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Best part: he ended with the Pokemon quote.

[–]JaggerA 6 points7 points ago

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Details?

[–]farceur318 42 points43 points ago

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He used the same lines from Donna Summer's Pokemon The Movie 2000 song that he quoted earlier in his campaign, but this time he acknowledged where they came from.

“I believe these words came from the Pokemon movie, the media pointed that out. 'Life can be a challenge. Life can seem impossible. It‘s never easy when there’s so much on the line'. But you and I can make a difference. There’s a mission just for you and me, just look inside and you will find just what you can do. I’ve had to look inside to find what I can do. And here’s what I can do, here’s what we can do: We can put ‘united’ back into the United States of America and move this shining city on a hill back to the top of the hilltop where it belongs!”

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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This isn't supposed to happen in real life

[–]Major---deCoverley 20 points21 points ago

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For the first time, I was like, "whoa, that was awesome, Cain." But then it just highlighted how ridiculous he was. There is a place for pokemon quotes, and that place probably isn't in all seriousness.

[–]Hidoikage 11 points12 points ago

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There is never an inappropriate moment for pokemon.

[–]IOIOOIIOIO 349 points350 points ago

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Nice job shielding all the other Republican candidates from public scrutiny, Herman.

You done good, boy.

[–]qarl 65 points66 points ago

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not to mention dragging the conversation right and making it look like it's "normal" to think up is down.

[–]chesterAawesome 23 points24 points ago

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The GOP are the masters of moving the Overton Window in their desired direction. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overton_window

[–]IOIOOIIOIO 59 points60 points ago

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Well, nothing makes extremists look relatively reasonable quite like putting them next to someone who is utterly batshit insane.

[–]qarl 71 points72 points ago

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it sounds like a joke - but let's be clear - this is EXACTLY the strategy of the republican brass. and it's working very very well.

[–]ViciousCycle 42 points43 points ago

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He serves as a distraction to minimize early public scrutiny of Mitt Romney. After the Palin debacle, I can't see him being a viable VP choice. He'll have a nice career as a TV and internet pundit.

[–]kauffj 38 points39 points ago

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He had 9-9-9 problems and they were all bitches.

[–]thelovepirate 18 points19 points ago*

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"You want some sausage on your pie?" - Jon Stewart

[–]meloveyoulongtime 62 points63 points ago

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The Defense Authorization Act has passed the Senate. Operation Distracting Scandal has been a resounding success!

[–]Mrgonzomd 40 points41 points ago

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He "suspended" his campaign? The guy can't even commit to quitting.

[–]Hello_Internet 43 points44 points ago

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He is "suspending" it because if he called it "quits", we wouldn't be able to fund-raise anymore. His campaign is actually in quite a bit of debt.

[–]Bartleby1955 12 points13 points ago

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"suspended" means buying a lottery ticket for the VP position.

[–]ahookerinminneapolis 47 points48 points ago

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Herman Cain't.

[–]corndoggydogg 38 points39 points ago

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Cain was un-Abel.

[–]dangercollie 11 points12 points ago

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I wonder if the Republicans will sober up from their 40 year bender now?

[–]Bartleby1955 29 points30 points ago

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NO. they'll double-down.

[–]princeof1kfaces 46 points47 points ago

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Oh he'll come back

And he will ROCK YOU LIKE A HERMAN CAIN

[–]resutidder 25 points26 points ago

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Nuts. I was really hoping to pay more than I do now for groceries.

[–]kbud 5 points6 points ago

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His site still contains the link to donate to his campaign. So what happens to all of the unspent donation money?

[–]tatonkadonk 10 points11 points ago

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It's party time bitches!

[–]shadowlands339 13 points14 points ago

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........but was he ever really in?

[–]jeffinfremont 14 points15 points ago

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He was in for the book sales and speech money.

[–]A_Non_Why_Mouse 4 points5 points ago

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He was in: in a few women, for a few seconds each.

[–]akuma_619 8 points9 points ago

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And Gingrich is still in the race. His old scandals are much worse than Cains infidelity. Fucking cheated on his wife when she had cancer and left her for wife number 2. When he got bored with her he cheated and dumped her for wife number 3.

[–]goosedup 6 points7 points ago

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Well there goes my stockpile of SPERMIN HERMIN 2012 tshirts. :-(

[–]ZeSlee 4 points5 points ago

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Okay, Cain. Hmmm, the guy was a joke. Correct? Just want to make sure we’re talking about the same guy before I say, ‘yes, I agree’ or ‘no, I didn’t agree'.

[–]ABILLIONCHINESE 4 points5 points ago

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It's actually spelled Aaaaaaand.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Amazing that knowing absolutely nothing about economics, the tax system, or foreign policy isn't disqualifying, but porking someone other than your wife is.*

*sometimes, anyway

[–]SirElkarOwhey 5 points6 points ago

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http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/politics/july-dec11/sandb_12-02.html

JIM LEHRER: End of the day, Herman Cain going to be gone tomorrow, do you think?

MARK SHIELDS: Herman Cain. Any time, Jim, a presidential candidate voluntarily uses the word "consensual" in a press conference, it's...

JIM LEHRER: No matter what the subject is, huh?

MARK SHIELDS: ... it's lights out. It's lights out. Yes.

[–]Cassius6 4 points5 points ago

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Looks like Herman Cain wasn't....puts on sunglasses Abel to run his campaign. YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH

[–]gloomdoom 88 points89 points ago

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I'm so shocked. This guy fumbled his way through every debate, screwed a bunch of women, tried to buy them off in sexual harassment cases and then when his political career ends, it's someone else's fault.

Sounds like a tried and true republican.

[–]GinandJuice 109 points110 points ago

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Sounds like a tried and true politician.

FTFY

[–]Perseus109 34 points35 points ago

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Or, for better or worse, Bill Clinton...

[–]Dichotomy01 41 points42 points ago

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I worked on Clinton's campaign. Supported him fully. When Lewinski hit, I was first on the bandwagon supporting Hillary's claims that it was a "right-wing conspiracy". After it all played out, and Clinton admitted the affair, I learned never to trust or care what politicians say about their personal lives, democrat or republican. So why people are downvoting you is a mystery to me.

[–]PanTardovski 12 points13 points ago

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Because it's been long enough that Clinton is a revered statesman who you're not allowed to talk shit about. Hell, even Nixon got a pass by the time he croaked. And don't get me started on the Cult of St. Reagan.

Never mind that he's practically given an endorsement to Gingrich as the conservative ideas-man. Old time politicos gotta stick together I guess.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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...something tells me that Bill Clinton, who spent six years fighting Gingrich, does not actually want a Gingrich Presidency. If you read the quote by Clinton in the article, it makes plenty of sense.

[–]PanTardovski 4 points5 points ago

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Billy has sleepovers in Kennebunk with poppa Bush. Up in those rarified realms I'm willing to at least entertain the idea that these rivalries are about as serious as what you see on Monday Night RAW. Mebbe, mebbe not.

[–]annoyedatwork 11 points12 points ago

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Never mind that he's practically given an endorsement to Gingrich as the conservative ideas-man. Old time politicos gotta stick together I guess.

Cunning. Have to realize that, to republicans, a Dem endorsement is the kiss of death.

[–]magnumdb 9 points10 points ago

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Check out his new website.

Notice the spelling error: "politicans"

[–]OBSirius 7 points8 points ago

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Cain just wasn't Able.

[–]opensourcer 4 points5 points ago

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he's "suspending" his campaign but he still takes donations. just admit that it's a money scam already

[–]Tectoid 4 points5 points ago

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That's too bad. He was a serious contender to be president of the United States.

-The Onion

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Count down until he works for fox news and blames the left

[–]porkmaster 19 points20 points ago

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i knew he wouldn't be Abel to continue.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MegainPhoto 27 points28 points ago

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The new who?

[–]jeffinfremont 62 points63 points ago

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I think it was a character that Tina Fey played on SNL.

[–]nosferatv 7 points8 points ago

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TBH, he was never really in. Just like Palin, this was a business opportunity for Cain.

This whole primary season is one overly long, sick joke.

[–]whenihittheground 11 points12 points ago

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Hope this starts a chain reaction whereby other republicans drop out like flies.

[–]pneumo 10 points11 points ago

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I'm betting Bachmann will be the next to go.

[–]mrminty 31 points32 points ago

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Nah, she's far too self-involved to do that. She'll hang on like a barnacle until Romney officially snags the nomination, out her husband a few more times, and then finally live out her days as someone Fox news calls in for crazy blurbs about why we need to invade Iran.

[–]NickTdot 5 points6 points ago

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And why we really need to close the American embassy in Iran.

[–]trollfessor 10 points11 points ago

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Think of all the time, effort, attention, and money that this man has taken up, and now it is all wasted.

A legitimate contender could have participated in the debates, but no, this waste took that space.

Disgusting.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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Well I'm not voting for a guy who cheats on his wife, what a dirt bag.

NEWT GINGRICH 2012!

[–]AdArbitrium 10 points11 points ago

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The end of his speech just had to be the lyrics from the Pokémon Movie theme song. A joke end to a joke of a candidate.

[–]SolidSquid 20 points21 points ago

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should have left by jumping off the stage with jazz hands while the Mario death tune played

[–]atthedrive-by 3 points4 points ago

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He.....pulled out LOL

[–]godlesspinko 3 points4 points ago

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Well, he was tremendously unqualified for the job in every respect, so there is that.

[–]ayarton 4 points5 points ago

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Herman Cain is black.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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The fact he got so far makes me realize how many people are complete idiots who shouldn't be allowed the vote.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]BlackbeltJones 7 points8 points ago

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If anything, it means more debate time. I think Gingrich will sway more Cain supporters, but it's still good for Paul.

[–]jigga19[S] 56 points57 points ago

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The long answer is nope. The short answer is no. The puerile answer is no fucking way.