I was pondering the female obsession with body image...

[deleted] · 3 months

This is stated so well. I think the big argument on TwoX is often this very struggle. You can love yourself and still see room for growth and improvement areas to work on. Simply having flaws or differences or weaknesses or struggles doesn't mean you automatically need to dislike yourself. And conversely, liking yourself doesn't mean can cannot want to change certain things about yourself.

Well put. Thank you for posting. :)

munchybutt · 3 months

I agree. It's not about being proud of your body or not, it's about respecting yourself. If you have the same amount of self respect, no matter what you look like, you are good to go!

DentD · 3 months

You know, that's a great point.

In my mind I have usually had the absurd impression that if I wasn't happy with my body than I had to hate my body. But that's kind of silly.

As of late I have acknowledged that I could lose more weight, but I feel attractive. I don't love my body, but I don't hate it either. I don't think it is the best place for me to be, mentally, but it beats having one more thing to stress me out late at night.

dandymomma · 3 months

I'm right there with you. I love myself, and therefor, my body. I am by no means the best I can be, but if I didn't love myself then I would be of no service to anyone. So, be nice to your curves, your bumps, and even your folds; for they are part of you and deserve your love. If you don't love them, no one else will. SHOW THE WORLD HOW AWESOME YOU ARE!!!

Penguin_Dreams · 3 months

I don't look at myself in the mirror. I've realized I have this ability to do my hair, make sure my outfit isn't wrinkled or doesn't clash, and the shoes work, without actually looking at me. I haven't really seen myself for months. There's nothing to love, there's nothing to hate. I simply don't exist as a whole. It's just parts.

That probably wasn't what you were getting at, but it's the first thing I thought of.

lesbillionare · 3 months

I'm happy you can feel that way about yourself. I'm caught in the mentality of "it's never enough until I'm perfect" and just can't feel happy about my body until I feel like I deserve to be happy about it. It's such a negative perception but I can't escape it and I'm really proud of you for breaking free from that mindset. Stay strong, girl.

39n2SqREhyR6PV · 3 months

It sounds like you have a very sensible perspective OP. If and when you are ever in the right place to lose weight, it will come naturally.

purplegreen91 · 3 months

If it makes you feel any better, I'm kind of in the same boat. I love, love, LOVE my curves and love how I feel most of the time, but I hate that it's not attractive to others. And then, I feel guilty for not wanting to change, more than anything else. It's almost as if I feel ashamed sometimes because I should feel ashamed.

Rueboticon9000 · 3 months

My knee jerk reaction was: 'Are you me?!' I mean, outside of the health concerns and the (all too regular) rejections from the boypeople, I'm okay with how I look. Do I need to lose more weight? Absolutely. But it's not going to be done with self loathing.

tinkerfaery · 3 months

Are you me? I feel the exact same way. When I was younger I hated myself and how I looked. Now I know I have things to work on, but I don't bring myself down because of it.

Higgy24 · 3 months

I feel ya! I'm thin but it's (mostly) not through any effort of my own, just the effects of disease. I'm weak as fuck. I look good, I'm not ashamed of my body, but I'm definitely not proud of it. I have a terrible diet.

However, I AM slowly but surely eating healthier and working out more so I can become fit and strong instead of a skinnyfat weakling. I know I'll be proud then, because I've been in that position before!

dundreggen · 3 months

I have been the very same way. I have joked that maybe if I had a little self loathing I might have stuck to diets better. Being obese hasn't really hampered my life any. I have friends, I do things, I am married..

(that said I recently discovered low carb diets and after a lot of research, being in biochemistry, I have been doing it since nov and have lost 30 pounds and the best part is its easy.. no hunger, no cravings etc.. just putting that out there)

cakeonaplate · 3 months

awesome hon :) I am not obese and I can't claim what you claim 100% of the time!

you are on to something. You are creating change form the inside, out. This feeling that you have accomplished is kind of more important than temporary weight loss, in my opinion.

I truly hope that you can figure out the cause of your binge eating -- I had Binge Eating Disorder as a part of my eating disorder. Granted when I recovered from that my weight stabalised, but the stress of knowing that I do not need to binge every weekend was thrilling. Its so painful, physically and emotionally to deal with binge eating :( I hope tat you get better, just for more comfort in your body.

Pro tip: Eat. Your body needs more food than you think. After years of restricting, this helped me to counteract the bingeing. Eat anything you want, whenever you want. Giving yourself this freedom will help your eating and calorie intake stabilise. Granted, I had to tweak this idea a little bit, finding out I am lactose-intolerant. The unfortunate part is that I knew about this idea 4 years before I was able to implement it :( Its tough, but possible.

I liked the book, "When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies".

Slep · 3 months

I've come to realize that I'm proud of my body for what it can do and not what it looks like.

I'm fairly fit, I think (I'm unsure that) my body is attractive, but as an XY most people ignore my physical appearance, even girlfriends, so I never developed any strong feelings either way about my body's physical appearance. Just what it was capable of.

Funny enough though, a girlfriend who was vocal about liking the way I looked was the one that made me feel the best about myself.

AllisonWeatherwax · 3 months

That's great. I don't think that you have to love your body. I don't, but I don't hate it either. It's just that: A fully functional body that I'm stuck with/allows me to do all sorts of cool stuff.

kallimal · 3 months

I am the same way. I very rarely wear form-fitting clothing, as I just find it uncomfortable, but when I am changing in front of the mirror sometimes I say "Hm, I like the way my torso curves right there." I do like my body. But losing a few pounds for health and fitness reasons would just be the cherry on top.

enossir · 3 months

As i guy I've never really gotten this with women. When i see a weakness or something lacking (too fat at one point, then i grew then i was too skinny) i become disgusted with myself to the point of extreme anger with my self image. Then i harness that anger and self loathing into something, and i am never satisfied until i reach my goal, my "perfection."

Most of my friends are the same way, a friend of mine was overweight and when we work out and he needs to run that extra mile or do that extra rep i bring out the big guns...aka point out his flaws and if he doesnt do that rep ect ect...you get the point. I guess this is just another social difference that i'll never understand.

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