I was raped/sexually assualted last night. I'm afraid to go to the police because I'm black and my rapist is white... I don't want to be called a false accuser.

undrway_shft_colors · 3 months

Just my two cents, I agree with everyone here with one more thing: Do it for the next girl.

<Hugs>

leftsideofthelane · 3 months

Go get a rape kit done. If he penetrated you anally there will most likely be tearing and symptoms of forced penetration.

LetLooseOnTheWeb · 3 months

As a rape survivor that never publicly accused my rapist I strongly urge you to do it. It's been ten years for me and even if I'd lost my case I wish so much I'd done something, said something, filed a report, anything but let him just walk on unscathed. I regret allowing myself to be silenced more than anything else in my life, I just wish I had realized I'd feel that way ten years ago when I didn't make the call because I didn't think anyone would believe me.

edit I want to also advise you to go to the town police, not your school's police force.

khuddler · 3 months

In response to your edit, I believe I can say this on behalf of the TwoX community: we're so proud of you and your courage and we support you. <3

frostpython · 3 months

You are not garbage. You're a person. People have rights.

I experienced some serious trauma in college. I found the mental health resources that were available at my school to be extremely useful in the healing process. There are often free resources available for students.

snoflake · 3 months

dont worry about statistics - they do have rape kits to find evidence! who knows how many other girls he's done this to??!

you need to be strong right now - this will emotionally and physically damage you if you stay quiet

punninglinguist · 3 months

Go to the police and do it now. The longer you wait the less reliable the evidence is, and the more you risk the false-accuser accusation if you decide to go later.

I'm very sorry about what happened to you. Please don't throw away an opportunity to save someone else from the same thing.

camelliagirl · 3 months

Please go to the police. Unwanted penetration leaves little tears and bruises that you can't see yourself.

Poor honey. This is so unarguably a rape that it makes me sick to hear those statistics about convictions.

Please, though, get a rape kit. Get a rape kit. Get a rape kit. Do what you need to do legally. Does your school have a counselor? Do you have friends who trust and believe you? Vent to the counselor, vent to your friends, vent here.

He has probably done/will do this to other people--statistically--and you coming out about it might help other people come out about it too. The fact that he said what he did makes it really clear he knows what he was doing. I don't know if that will help, though.

I'm so sorry, sweetheart.

aut0mata · 3 months

What a piece of shit. (That guy.) Please go to the police. You never know until you try what will happen. Like leftsideofthelane said there is probably more evidence than you know. I hope this is not triggering, but forced anal penetration without lube or preparation...leaves evidence that is not pretty. The rape kit collection will be awkward to say the least, but if you think you can handle it I encourage you to go.

You are not a piece of garbage. You are a complex and whole human being who doesn't deserve to be assaulted. I believe you, and I think this entire thread does too. I am so sorry, I wish I could give you a hug and support. (Consensual and respecting your personal space and bodily autonomy, of course.)

MakingItDifficult · 3 months

Go to a hospital, get checked out, and then take that information to the police. Do not let your race and vehement racism deter you from reporting a crime. Go to the University as well.

alettuce · 3 months

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ElementZero · 3 months

1.See if your college has a Peer Advocate/Sexual Assault Response group, if you need help through this there might be one on your campus that you could contact if you dont have a supportive friend. They should also have resources and information tailored to your area.

2.PLEASE go get a kit done, call where you intend to go and make sure they have a SANE (sexual assault nurse examiner) because not all hospitals have them.

3.If you are not on birth control go get some Plan B, they may even offer it to you at the hospital.

Im so sorry this happened to you, he is a bastard and should burn for this, IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT, if it helps repeat that to yourself, and talk to someone supportive (councilor, peer advocate, friend) and not bottle up any of your emotions.

Booost · 3 months

I'm so sorry this happened to you, it's up to you what you do, but this sounds like a guy who, if he isn't stopped, will continue to target minority women because he thinks he can get away with it. :(

sociallyawkwardllama · 3 months

Please, go to the police as soon as possible! There are medical tests to prove that someone has been raped but the sooner you have them done, the more effective it will be. Do everything you can to get the truth out there.

CatieLady · 3 months

Please got to the police. Those statistics are probably that way because of all of the women who are in your situation and are too scared to report it! You need to report it for your own sanity and to stop that fucker from doing this to other women!

mickey_kneecaps · 3 months

Go to the police, and also go to the University Administration. There is a good chance that if the police don't take the proper action (which I hope won't happen), that you can pressure the administration into doing so. If neither take action, you can go to the press and accuse the school of racism and covering up your rape to protect the football player. I would hope that in that situation the school would see that it is in their interest to help you. Good luck.

AmbiguousStatement · 3 months

I have nothing new to add, but let me just echo that you should absolutely go to the hospital first and then contact the police.

Don't let shitty statistics control your voice. Fight it because you're worth it. Fight for yourself and for any girl he might have already done this to, and any in the future as well. I hope he gets hell for this.

anyalicious · 3 months

I have nothing more to contribute than many better women in this thread already have. My thoughts are with you, and I hope that everything goes smoothly for you from here on out! Good luck to you -- you are a strong person and you can get through this!

[deleted] · 3 months

You need a professional to talk to, no matter how nice the internet might be. I strongly urge you to go to rainn.org and talk to someone in your area. Hang in there, my heart goes out to you.

pickfights · 3 months

I think you should still try and go to police. You're definitely right, race plays a role in things like this. But there IS a possibility of you being able to defeat this guy. that would be a victory for you, black women AND rape victims everywhere. A rape kit can prove a lot, definitely try and press charges.

stephinatorr · 3 months

so glad you went to the hospital for a rape kit!! race doesn't matter, rape is rape. you did the right thing and that's awesome that he won't get away with it. :) sorry you went through that.

olivehead · 3 months

I'm so glad you got a rape kit done, and I'm glad he was arrested. Too many of these cases go unreported, and you've potentially saved other girls from the same trauma. I wish you the best in your upcoming legal process, and know that there is a community that will support you.

the_superfantastic · 3 months

I understand why you wouldn't want to, but please - for yourself, and for other women that this guy might have raped, at least go get a kit done and initialize the procedure for filing for sexual assault.

I can imagine that it will be difficult - VERY difficult. People will dig into your sexual history, and make all kinds of stereotypes because you are black. The school will not want to cooperate, because he is a football player. The police, depending on where you live, will probably not want to cooperate either. But it is WORTH fighting for.

That last comment that he made to you - the "I might as well keep quiet because saying anything would only make me look like a slut, and that people would believe him over me." REALLY pisses me off. If anything, THIS is the reason to go through with it. He should not get away with this, to do it to someone else. He doesn't deserve to represent your school, nor be allowed to walk freely about campus or in civilized society.

I hope you have a strong network of support around you (hugs)! Either way, whether you decide to press charges or not, this should NOT make you permanently feel degraded. You are NOT a piece of trash. You are a person, a strong woman, and you will move forward from this. Please, at least consider counseling, or close friends or a support group.

intotheblueagain · 3 months

nothing to add here other than a big hug... <3

itwassaid · 3 months

Everyone else is saying everything I wanted to, so I'm just sending tons love and support. Be strong! You're in my thoughts <3

AngryProle · 3 months

It's up to you.

Cops and courts are racist, this shouldn't be news to anyone. If you do report this, you will be fighting an uphill battle, and it will be hard. That's why it's your choice. Only you know if you can handle it.

On the other hand, if you don't report it, you may end up wanting to know what would have happened. Trying might give you some closure. Or it could not.

Your first priority should be to take care of yourself.

[deleted] · 3 months

You know you aren't a false accuser, all you can do is speak your truth and hope.

You are very brave.

Fuck the statistics, you may end up in the winning category, but you'll never know if you don't try.

Focus on yourself and what it takes to make you feel safe, and find a way to regain control. Control is the biggest piece he took from you, but you can get it back.

I'm hella proud of you.

gottaloveJesus · 3 months

Please, please listen to everybody here and go to the police, and get a rape kit done. Remember, there is a chance he won't be punished if you do go to the police, but there is NO chance that he WILL be punished if you don't. Most date rapists are serial offenders...only something like 1 in 16 guys is a date rapist, but 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. They are serial offenders and they get away with it because so many women don't report.

Just remember that what happened to you is entirely his fault, you're not dirty, you're not any less of a valuable human being because of his actions. Good luck.

P.S. I would recommend you bring someone to the police department with you, preferably someone with particularly good standing in the community who you are willing to tell what happened to you and who will defend your character in front of the police. This is not necessary, but it will possibly help you to be taken seriously and it might boost your confidence level when telling the police details (even though this person will probably not be allowed to be with you while you inform police of the details). Some people you might go to are pastoral care staff/teachers, or a TA you know well.

punkinpink · 3 months

please go to the police.

If you don't think that will work I am not sure but maybe a planned parenthood or something like that might be able to write a report?

Your color or his status as a football player should not matter when it comes to the truth. Do you have witnesses before you went to his place?

I could give tons of things to do but if you don't feel like taking it, please don't think of yourself as garbage. You are a wonderful human being who should have never went through something like this.

clovercraver · 3 months

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Good for you for taking charge and getting the rape kit done and going to the cops. That action helps you go from victim to survivor.

Most rapists are serial rapists--your action may well stop other rapes this guy would've committed in the future. Whatever happens, the arrest etc. will, at the very least, scare the shit out of him and make him realize the potential for consequences.

Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you. No one deserves what happened to you. I'm proud and impressed that you took the important steps that you did.

We're here for you.

sorrytodisappoint · 3 months

All I can say is good job. This kind of behaviour should never go unpunished.

cathline · 3 months

((((hugs)))))

I'm proud of you!! You may want to get a counselor and lawyer up because this can get messy, emotionally painful, and legally traumatic. Take care of yourself!!

xb4r7x · 3 months

I've looked up statistics and white men are rarely ever convicted of raping black women... The numbers are so small there's pretty much a 100% chance that the police would believe I'm lying.

Probably because it typically goes unreported! Good on ya for getting the douche arrested... Good luck to you!

loveporkchop · 3 months

Go to the hospital, tell them you were assaulted. Talk to nurses, tell them you want to report it. Get a rape kit.

You did not deserve this. You are not garbage. You are a woman, and you were abused. It doesn't matter that you made out with him, it doesn't matter that you drank wine. You said no. You did not consent.

Even if, in the end, people don't want to believe you... Give THEM the opportunity to do what is right. Don't be passive because they might not help you.

I hope things work out. Don't stop loving yourself. <3

River_ · 3 months

Go to the police!

pandagron · 3 months

This was not in any way your fault and you are not a piece of garbage. I am so glad you went in and got your kit - and I am even more glad that they arrested that piece of shit rapist.

Hearts and love. TwoX has your back!

[deleted] · 3 months

Forcible rape is generally the easiest to prove in court. It leaves the clearest evidence and it doesn't involve the ambiguities of drunken date-rape type situations.

Go ahead and report it. It may or may not go anywhere, but based on your story there is a good chance that the authorities will take it seriously.

evilillusionist · 3 months

I just wanted to say good job. I hope other women can read this and decide the same way you did. Stay strong. 2XC and I love you.

Spacemilk · 3 months

You are an amazing and brave person for going to the hospital in spite of the fear and trauma you have to be going through. My heart goes out to you - I'm so sorry you were put through this. Just know that you are not a piece of garbage - he is - and it was in no way your fault. If you ever need someone to talk to, please send me a PM. If you need anything to get you through the next few weeks or months - be it cookies or e-hugs or a helping hand with anything - please send me a PM.

yonicay · 3 months

I am SO SO SO happy you turned him in and got checked out. He is a jerk, and I hope things get better for you!

discworldian · 3 months

Thank you for turning him in - I can't imagine how difficult it is to do and I hope they'll manage to put him behind bars with your evidence.

BatwingDarling · 3 months

I am so sorry that this happened to you. It makes me sick that anyone would ever doubt you, or anyone in your position, just because of race. Good for you for having the courage to stand up for yourself! I'm so relieved that they believed you and had him arrested. You are incredibly brave and strong for fighting the odds and turning him in, and you have almost certainly saved other women by doing so.

sparklynnrocks · 3 months

You are so very brave! Your courage is very inspiring. Stay strong, girl! The twox community is here for you!

parker214 · 3 months

Good for you. I'm glad you decided to get a rape kit done and go to the police. He deserves to pay for what he did to you, and who knows how many other women.

debdab · 3 months

So proud of you for doing the right thing, even if it was the harder thing to do. These ladies are all right, and we're all here for you. Stay strong! /hug

dizzypunch · 3 months

You are very brave, and an inspiration.

rebeccalbenson · 3 months

You are so brave to go through all of this. It may not be an easy journey to justice, but it will come. Your actions, though difficult, have saved another woman from being assaulted and for that, we all owe you thanks.

sleeplessgrad · 3 months

Glad you already edited this and let us know you went. I want to let you know how proud I am of you and how strong you are. I have been in a very similar position and I am sending my love.

It is very hard right now . . . sleep is probably going to be damn near impossible; however, you will get through this and be stronger for it. I STRONGLY recommend seeing a therapist. Please do this as soon as possible, it will help you not feel like a piece of garbage. This is in no way your fault and it takes other people to help you through this.

PM me, I beg you. I have been there including police visits, evidence collection, et cetera. I am more than happy to talk to you on the phone. This is a really hard time but it WILL get better. HUGS!

reux_ · 3 months

So glad that you are deciding to prosecute this bastard. Reddit will be here for you every step of the way. Much love and hugs.

captaincream · 3 months

You did the right thing and I am so happy for you to have taken the courage to report him. Sadly he probably has done this before and you may have stopped the cycle though the circumstances of why are saddening. I am so happy nothing worse happened to you and don't ever let yourself think it was your fault.

2x is is proud of you and I wish you to live a happy live and a speedy recovery <3

SexyShenanigans · 3 months

I'm so, so glad you went to the police! Very brave of you! if you need any support or just love, please pm me~!

pcarvious · 3 months

This guy sounds like a repeat offender. He needs to be taken off the streets. Step forward. If you have clothing from that night and haven't washed it, take it with you. They might be able to collect biological samples off of it as well as from a kit. Make sure they take a kit.

You have the right to be protected, just like the guy has a right to a fair trial. Let the courts handle things but come forward about it. They should be able to mask your names on the crime report and in the case files. If this guy did rape you, then you have the right to see justice at least attempted to be done.

SmackySmack · 3 months

I am very glad you listened.

cassiope · 3 months

Please get some help from a local rape crisis counseling group; you can start with calling your University Counseling Center. What you say (unless you are going to hurt someone) is privileged information and is not part of your academic record. Please. You need the support, especially when this moves forward - and it may on campus as well as in the court system since he was an athlete.

You can also file a complaint with the Dean of Students/Judicial Board if his apartment on campus.

You are incredibly brave and I wish you all the best.

GreenWithLove · 3 months

I am SO proud of you. You are so brave and strong for getting that done. You really showed courage and are not only helping yourself, but helping all the other girls. You can help change the statistics and you are doing the right thing.

mindtrashy · 3 months

you are so brave. you have saved the lives of many women in the future. your actions are a testament to your character and your strength. don't let this asshole bring you down... stand tall and know you've done the world a great service

TAC0queen · 3 months

Thank you for being brave! I can't even imagine what you're going through. You have support here. Please keep us updated!

GoodnightPrince · 3 months

Man, I'm so glad you're alright

SiouxieCreamCheese · 3 months

That was really brave of you. As a person who has received training in handling sexual assault confessions, there is always someone to talk to if that's what you need.

Kitty_Pryde · 3 months

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I am very glad you reported it...I did not when I was attacked at 13 and it has haunted me ever since. Please find someone to talk to about this as well! Best of luck!

Togsywogsy · 3 months

So sorry this happened to you, but wanted to say how strong you are for reporting it. You're incredibly courageous and you've made the world safer for other women by going to the police. As you go through this, make sure to get the support you need, from friends or family or a counselor, people you trust, and to take care of yourself, mentally and physically. The only garbage in this story is the guy who hurt you. Internet hugs.

[deleted] · 3 months

Fuck yeah! Just came back and saw you went to the police! So proud of you :) <3<3<3

Bluescarfmam · 3 months

We all love you and support you 100%

dandymomma · 3 months

Yay to you for going to the hospital! I know how hard this is, and even though it may take a while to get justice, please take comfort in knowing that by going to get the rape kit done, and turning in your attacker, you have given the girls of the future another example of a brave woman who has stepped forward to rid our society of rapists.

Thank you!!!

researchnerd · 3 months

Hugs

starrynightgirl · 3 months

I love all the sensible responses here. The male circlejerking is way too strong in your initial thread on r/askreddit and its quite unfortunate that we still live in an age that when rape victims seek advice or counseling anonymously on the internet, they are shamed and labeled as trolls.

You did the right thing. keep moving forward.

stevejohn · 3 months

I have no experience, so I'm afraid I can't help from a legal perspective. You should definitely do everything you can though. I hope you don't let these statistics deter you from trying to get justice. Maybe I'm naive, but I'm very surprised to hear about these statistics. Hopefully, other posters can offer some more practical help.

You came looking for legal advice, and like I said, I'm in over my head. I just felt compelled to comment because your experience breaks my heart. This seems like a clear case of rape. No gray area. The fact that you screamed, the fact that he threatened you like that after. No gray area at all. I'm a guy who's admittedly sexually charged, and I can't even begin to imagine how dark this guy's soul must be to do something like this. It's horrible and there's no excuse for it.

Please don't feel like a piece of garbage. This wasn't your fault at all. I know it's hard to think logically when you're in such a state of crisis. But please try to remember, and tell yourself over and over again that this wasn't your fault. Some asshole did a horrible thing to you. You're not to blame. It says nothing about you. It says nothing about your worth as a human being.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you get some good legal advice and get justice. I also hope you can rebuild your spirit after this. Get therapy, talk to people, etc. The world can be so unjust sometimes. I'm praying for you and wishing you the best. Please keep us updated. You'll find a lot of support and help on this site.

lmbao · 3 months

I really really really hope he gets what he deserves for doing this to you. That being said, I'd say to go to the police. Even if it doesn't work out you will at least not regret trying.

3 months

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Moses2112 · 3 months

Just saw this and the edited part, I hope you are able to find peace in the aftermath of the firestorm to come. But the fact that they arrested him already is not only great to hear but should mean well for your side of the case too.

You're in the right place here from what little I've seen of this subreddit, and I'm glad the advice here helps others and its why I keep coming back to this site.

And might I add, I hope that person realizes what an awful thing he's done and pays for it. If he doesn't realize it, then I hope he pays double.

Rudahn · 3 months

Honestly, you have my every sympathy. I really don't know what to say on the matter, but I hope that your situation picks back up again. I'm proud of your courage for standing up for injustice, and on behalf of women everywhere, I support and thank you. ♥

maddietheasshole · 3 months

i'm sorry <3. i wish there was something more we could do for you. please report him and make him rot in hell, for you, for your pain, for the next girl, and because he deserves it.

there's hotlines that you can call, and counseling. best of luck in your life.

Valintiin · 3 months

Please update us about this - I am so sorry. It's been a little over a year for me. My biggest advice (now that you've gone to police/hospital) is to see a counselor. Look into EMDR therapy. It may not be right for you, but it brought me out of my living hell - it gets worse before it gets better.

You're facing a tough road ahead, and you can't do it alone. A counselor will really help you through everything, especially if you don't want to tell anyone else.

I know it kind of means nothing, but if you need someone to talk to, I've got two ears (eyes?) and a good head on my shoulders.

You did the right thing, and I'm very proud of you. What you did takes a lot of bravery and strength, the kind that a lot of people can't even fathom.

SepiaTinted · 3 months

I'm so glad that you reported that scum bag! Someone has to be the exception to the rule and I'm glad it was you! Good luck with everything that follows and remember that 2X is always here for you.

3 months

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