So I recently got my period (I'm a late bloomer) and it was not as expected. 2X, what things about being a woman are not in the manual?

singvogel · 3 months

No one ever told me about the chunks you sometimes get in your period, or that you can actually feel it dripping out occasionally. It's a strange sensation.

Or that sex is generally funny and awkward.

Wombok · 3 months

Urinary tract infections. No one told me about them. Not in sex ed class, not one of my friends, no one. Even my doctor didnt mention that it was probably caused by having sex and then not urinating soon afterwards. My then boyfriend was the one that had to break the news to me about why I got it and why it made him uncomfortable when I talked about it with my family while he was around. I felt very let down by both my doctor and my schools sex ed program. That seems like a pretty basic thing to mention to girls when teaching them about sex.

sleazyjesus · 3 months

Most of what i know about female sexuality and really personal health and beauty issues from the internet. No joke. Growing up i didn't have many close girl friends, and we certainly didn't talk girl stuff. My mom never gave me the talk, only a book. Basically I had to go to college to learn about shaving, hair care, make up, wearing clothes that fit, kissing, etc. I swear i am not a neanderthal.

purplespam · 3 months

That having periods that last for 2 weeks, and getting it every two weeks, and getting severe cramps (to the point of throwing up and having to lay in bed all day), and wanting to commit suicide because being a girl is utter shit is NOT normal. I heard so many times "Oh some girls are just unlucky with their periods". Don't. Fucking. Say this. Because of this, I thought everything I was feeling was "normal," but it wasn't, and my teenage years would have been a million times better if someone had told me this was not normal. Birth control is the love of my life, I now know what NORMAL is. God help the person who tries to take birth control away from me.

maraq · 3 months

-pap smears/gynecological exams? Not that big a deal really. All the girls who go before you will make it sound like the most traumatic thing in the world but really, it's over quickly, only slightly uncomfortable and it's not that bad (if you have a doctor that you are comfortable with).

oogmar · 3 months

Sex is nothing like porn. Sex is nothing like anything I've witnessed in the movies. Sex is nothing like anything except sex, and until you've decided you're at a point in your life to responsibly and safely (physically and emotionally) have it, it'll just be a goshdarn mystery.

It's not so great a mystery, though, that you should rush in to solve it before you're ready.

Love yourself and your body. Really do. I mean it. Take care of yourself, and accept that you're never going to look like that girl with a radically different body shape. You only get one body, you only get one you. If you're a good person and you accept and love yourself, you are worlds ahead of anyone who would be so audacious to try to make you feel worth less than what you are.

Don't be catty. They aren't worth the energy if they're going to be catty about you, and no matter how awful other people can be, they have feelings, too.

Friends who make you sad, make you doubt yourself, leave you in the dust, leave you out of plans, talk about you behind your back, share your secrets, or in any way betray your trust are not your friends. Learn to forgive mistakes, but don't stick around for people who make you feel like crap. There are other people out there. Good people. They'll be there.

Don't cheat.

Be you. Conforming to what others want you to be, changing yourself to be accepted, will just be making friends with a pack of lies. It takes too much energy and you're probably way more awesome than the person you are trying to be.

Appreciate the people in your life who do well by you. They don't have to, and people disappear from our lives when we least expect it.

Those are the first things that come to mind.

geekstcy · 3 months

1) Boobs are not usually the same size. There are some girls who get lucky, but for the rest of us, removable inserts are our friends. 2) There will be stretch marks. They don't only come with a baby. They come with cheeseburgers, and just generally because you are made to have curves and your skin cannot contain your hotness. Both kinds are ok. 3) Laugh lines and under eye bags just prove you're human. They show you have a sense of humor and that you stayed up studying, or taking care of someone, or any number of things. We're working on this. 4) Period poop. Be prepared. Your digestive system will never be the same.

ireallygottasay · 3 months

UTIs! Nipple hair! Queefs! That your mood can be affected by hormones all month long, not just while you're actually bleeding! That there are many different ways to masturbate, and probably everyone does! That dudes have their own insecurities and issues too! Very few people sleep/have sex with a bra on, contrary to the movies! Periods that trail off so you can't be sure whether they've actually stopped or will return with the knicker-wrecking vengeance of a communist tsunami! You shouldn't just put up with anything hurting much, take it to a dr! Eyelash curlers!

Syverge · 3 months

Wanting to punch everything in the face while riding the red tide is quite normal. I recommend acquiring a cat for such times, they make you feel much better.

Actually, a cat for ALL TIMES is highly recommended. Sometimes shit moods like to strike at random, and sometimes life can feel like Russian Roulette.

Epilating is a thousand times better than shaving, in my personal opinion. All that said, many women find it too painful.

There is no universal way for lady bits to look. I'm talking all of it. It varies an incredible and quite astonishing amount from person to person.

If you're going to use tampons, I highly recommend Lil-Lets, or ones of a similar style. Tampax are bloody terrible, and I find can leak easily. Lil-Lets expand outwards, but are shorter and are much more comfortable and reliable.

For every girl who you wish you had the hair, the waist, the arse, the boobs, the lips, the whatever - of... there's a dozen at least, who want at least something you have. Everyone is different, and that's what keeps life interesting, and you... you. The media does a good job at painting a false and very, very generic picture of what is deemed 'beautiful', and even then a lot of that is altered by technology. You are beautiful, and don't deny yourself of that.

I have no idea how old you are, nor does it really matter; my point still stands. And to anyone else reading it, actually.

qrtr_inch_seam · 3 months

If you can afford it, and maybe once you're older and not still growing and changing so much, and when you have clothes that you have invested in, like a dress you love, pants that are wonderful, etc., take the time to get them tailored because no clothes fit anyone perfectly off the rack. I don't recommend this for most clothes, too expensive, but for some special clothes you'll keep for more than a season, it's amazing what a good tailor can do. I guess that's the lesson, clothes don't fit anyone perfectly off the rack, celebrities get everything from t shirts to sequined gowns altered, that's why everything fits them.

whachucallme · 3 months

High heels are a hot mess. I love how pretty they look, I just can't bear to walk on them.

zombie_hoard · 3 months

Sometimes your boobs will hurt, for no apparent reason. I started getting breast pain prior to periods when I was 25 (like the week before) [I know that is common for most women but I never really got it]. Now (26.5 y.o.) I will get breast pain in the second week of my cycle, as in 2 full weeks before my period week. Doc says it's just hormones and getting older because they're healthy.

In other words, just because your boobs are hurting doesn't necessarily mean you are pregnant or have cancer, sometimes it just happens, so be cautious but don't panic. Always do a monthly breast exam because you need to know your body to watch for changes. Breast cancer can occur in young females, I had a friend in college who was 20 and was diagnosed.

Venus_Blue · 3 months

Oh God I thought I shit myself when I got my first period too. My mom laughed ass off and told me "welcome to hell!". My best advice is never, -ever- skimp on feminine products, you really do get what you pay for. Also, if you think there's too many pads/tampons in your purse, there isn't. Trust me. Nobody should have to make an emergency toilet paper tampon. However its still useful knowledge and there's actually instructions online, just google it.

milktart · 3 months

"I believe that everyone has a small fire burning inside of them. There are two main types of people in your life- fire givers, and fire takers. Fire givers are people who add to that fire- they genuinely make you feel good, they add to your life, they push you to succeed. Then there are fire takers- through whatever means, they try to extinguish your fire. They put you down, they make you doubt yourself, they betray you. These people are different for everyone- someone who is a fire giver to me may be a fire taker to someone else. But what you want to do is surround yourself with fire givers, people who will add to your life. Not take away from it."

-My 12th grade drama teacher

Also, pants will most likely never fit right with your specific hip/thigh/booty/stomach/leg length combination.

DerpesSimplexII · 3 months

I wish someone had given me this advice, but some friends of mine think it's gross.

Use tampons. Pads feel like a diaper.
When you're comfortable with that, try out the ones without an applicator. You can carry a few in your pocket, and they're so much more convenient. Also, they prepare you for...
When you're comfortable with that, it's reasonably easy to switch to a menstrual cup (still takes some perseverance, though). They're amazing. Only one little thing to carry with you that lasts for years. Thanks 2X for introducing me to them.

I know a lot of women my age think it's weird, or gross somehow, to use the cup, but if you're comfortable with your vagina it makes your period so much easier.

OxymoronParadox · 3 months

Cramps? It may feel like you may really have to poo but then you just realize its just unbearable pain. You may or may not deal with terrible pain (I envy you don't) but heating pads, blankets, laptop chargers can be a good way to relive that pain. Just be careful not to burn yourself.

SamiLMS1 · 3 months

Everybody tells you cramping hurts, but they neglect to tell you how much more pain you get by not being able to use the restroom for the first half of your period. Not sure if this is typical or just me =\

DoctaPayne · 3 months

The last two days of your period will probably be thick and brown too... And when you think it's (almost) over, wear a pad for an extra day, just in case. Also the dripping...super weird. First time I felt it, I thought I was having to pee every 10 minutes. Also, nobody can really tell you in a sex ed class what it's like to just sit somewhere and cry for a few hours for no apparent reason. One small thing sets it off and it's downhill from there...

uberhellie · 3 months

For me, it was that sex isn't as big a game changer as everyone makes it out to be. I may well be in the minority here, seeing as I was in a relationship and felt ready when I had it, but it seemed like sex was only ever put in two lights for me before I had it -

Sex is bad, you're too young, you're not ready etc.
Sex is amazing, it's the best thing ever, it's everything you ever hoped for and more etc.

The two things these have in common are that usually, one statement goes with them - sex changes everything. Maybe for other people, but it didn't for me. The first time I had it, I was with my first serious (and current) boyfriend. It didn't fit either description, and I didn't feel like it'd changed anything, other than the whole "oh, I'm not a virgin anymore" thing. It's good now, but for most people I've talked to, their first time having sex didn't match up to their expectations. It's like anything else - it takes practice.

EDIT: Put majority instead of minority

saintboniface · 3 months

First of all, congrats! This is one of the biggest changes in your life, and you have a lot of exciting stuff to look forward to in adulthood.

Adolescence is not the only time your body is going to change. Your boobs are probably going to grow once, maybe twice, and your hips will probably widen in your early 20s. When this happens, change your wardrobe to suit your new body. Nothing looks worse than someone trying to wear too-small clothes, regardless of your weight. Your facial features will change too. You won't grow a horn or anything, but you'll be able to notice the difference when looking at older photos. This is a natural, normal thing.

The first piece of advice I can give you is to not compromise yourself for anyone. Whether it be a boyfriend or girlfriend, a buddy, a boss, etc- you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, so don't be afraid to ask for it. There is nothing unfeminine about having a backbone.

Second piece of advice I can give is don't tan. I'm in my late twenties and I can instantly tell which girls were tan-happy in high school and college. Also, skin cancer.

theftinprogress · 3 months

When you read statistics like, "78% of women do/are XYZ," and you realize, holy crap, I don't do XYZ, what's wrong with me, why can't I be normal. Then you realize that it also means that 22% are like you, you're not a freak of nature. Then you go on a crusade and take the trouble to explain in detail to anybody who will listen that not ALL women do XYZ, it shouldn't be thought of as NORMAL or any of those words with baggage. Then you get over yourself and eat a burrito.

bunnyfarmer · 3 months

Mood swings happen to everyone, no matter how logical and level-headed you are usually. Eat more bananas

ramsay_baggins · 3 months

Not using tampons is fine. If they're sore or uncomfortable, just use pads. It's not the end of the world, regardless of what some people may make you think. If you don't want to be stuck with pads, try out tampons every few months to check if they're not as bad by then, but there is no reason to cause yourself pain or be uncomfortable for a week just because everyone says that pads suck. Use whatever works for you.

Some girls just can't use tampons, and there's no shame in that.

InfinitelyThirsting · 3 months

Beware: your cycle can take a break in the middle. That got me a bunch of times. When I'm not on HBC, my period will stop for a day in the middle, a tease that it's over, but it's not. Until you're sure you know your cycle, always always always wear at least a liner for a day or two after it's over.

jessaschlitt · 3 months

If your periods start becoming INCREDIBLY PAINFUL so much so that you constantly think about testing the law of gravity from the 4th floor window using your own body, please go see a doctor. There is a difference between "cramps" and "ohgodwhysomeonekillme" and it was 2 years before I finally told my mom that my period pains were about as tolerable as Fran Drescher's laugh. I got diagnosed with endometriosis and they started treating that shit STAT!

Anywho, long story short, don't feel embarrassed if you feel like your period pains are stronger than normal and don't be afraid to ask for help. If you can't go to school/work because of the pain, go see a doctor.

Atheist1994 · 3 months

What things about being a woman are not in the manual? Well, firstly, being a woman isn't contingent upon having periods...

nowthisisawkward · 3 months

this is so awesome!

if you feel cranky because of your hormones theres not a lot you can do about it. if i feel crankiness coming up i warn most of my friends that there might be a chance of me screaming at them for no reason. but they usually know what to expect if im running around for a couple of days pointing out how cute everything is.

also, not having a 4 week cycle is totally ok. i never paid much attention in biology when we talked about menstrual cycles cause it didnt affect me yet. so when i got my period i just figured after it ends ill have one month until they start again, i didnt really keep a record cause i feel when its that time of the month again (i get pimples and approx 3 days before the bloody revolution starts i get a couple of cramps and i know about when it happened the last time by looking in my calendar and what i did). then i learned that you need to count from the first day and completely freaked out cause holy shit im the virgin mary with a baby jesus inside of me!

Mokelachild · 3 months

As a woman, everything about your body is cyclical. Remember that, it helps.

GrinLikeAMoron · 3 months

Brown discharge. It's old blood but no one tells you that and if/when you get it it can freak you out it's nothing to worry about :)

GrumbleMumbles · 3 months

Sometimes sex is a big deal, and sometimes it isn't. My first time was SO anticlimactic the next day.

PaniAnna · 3 months

That towards the last few days of your period, it's black or brown. That freaked me out, but then I realized it's because the blood has been in there for a while...

Also, my hips hurt during my period, not my uterus. No one told me that was a thing. :(

ewoksandcandycorn · 3 months

Menstrual blood kind of has the consistency of mucous. If you ever switch to a menstrual cup, this will be handy to know.

guardgirlx3 · 3 months

Stretch marks happen.

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