Stop with the body police, 2x. STOP! What is wrong with you?

Biancabean · 3 months

Whenever I see posts like this it confuses me because I always see 2x standing up for body shapes of all kinds. I'd like to know which posts you are referring to mainly because reading this is kind of shocking.

seanmharcailin · 3 months

you know... these posts come up every 2-3 weeks. and then somebody complains about it, and nothing changes and then it happens again.

WhatsRealLifeLike · 3 months

I completely understand what you're saying, but it's not something that's as easy as just stopping. People get a small high when they feel that they're doing something right. One way to get this high is to point out and focus on other's flaws and decisions. I think that people will always find it hard to let go of judgement because it severely hampers their ability to be at peace with themselves. I mean, if there's no clear example of what is "wrong" or "bad" then how do people know if they're "good"?

Just to be clear, this is not justification for body policing, and it should not be tolerated. Also, you can tell absolutely nothing about a person by their weight. It is possible and actually common to be medically classified as obese and be in perfect health. Aside from that, their health is none of your business anyways. You're somewhat feeding the body policing by adding the "300 pounds" part.

mamagreg · 3 months

Ah! Thank you for saying what many I'm sure were thinking! I got a lot of flak for posting positive body image stuff similar to "love your body" people going on about how this was wrong or that was unfair. I only posted it because it was a positive message I thought about how we are all different and beautiful in our own ways. But I guess some thought I was trying to make other body sizes feel badly. So thank you for speaking my mind for me. <3

JustForArkona · 3 months

Agreed. I love 2X but I have seen a fair amount of this. It's just important to keep in mind that we're a diverse group of women (and others!) with different values and ideas of what is healthy and beautiful and what is not... as long as everyone respects each other, regardless of opinions, we should be fine.

ColorDeprived · 3 months

Actually, 2X has done bad things to for my body image. Now I seldom visit here. I'm a size zero, I was always called anorexic in school, by older or heavier people, and it was hard. But it wasn't on a daily basis. But it seems it' the topic on here. Everyday is about weight, and you can't read trough the comments without seeing bashing for "skinny" women.

JustWordsInYourHead · 3 months

Thank you.

Both of my best friends are heavier than me, and I am always singled out as the one who doesn't have "real" problems.

Like earlier today, during a conference call when they were bitching about their bodies. I happened to mention how I hated the flab I had on my stomach before I started working out. Needless to say, that comment started an avalanche of "you have never been fat-shut up-you don't know what real problems are-"

People of all sizes have body image problems.

pterodactylogram · 3 months

we need to stop having weight divide us. yes, obesity- and not the 'your bmi is over...' obesity- and being extremely underweight are pretty unhealthy, but if someone doesn't want to change that, shaming them will just drive them away from 2X.

we need to provide a support system for every woman here, no matter her clothing size. if a woman wants to make a change, then we help her do it in the best way she can. and if she doesn't want to change, but needs a shoulder to cry on, we need to be here for her.

the first rule of 2X is RESPECT.

PuppyPuppies · 3 months

Thank you for posting this thread. As much as I feel like 2X has a generally welcoming and inclusive atmosphere, I have been noticing a lot of weight-stereotyping recently and it's disappointing, to say the least.

GrumbleMumbles · 3 months

Anytime someone says, "THIS is what a REAL woman looks like!" I just wanna reach through my computer and shake them. What does that make the rest of us? Fake women? Pseudo-women? Please.

dandymomma · 3 months

I was just thinking how awesome it would be if we had someway to show exactly how diverse of a community 2x really is. Too bad we didn't have a photo gallery or something. Maybe if we were able to show all of our different sizes, shapes, and colors others would be more caring and respectful... you know what I mean?

gattofila · 3 months

Great thread, brings up some much needed points to discuss/debate openly in the 2x community. I agree - we need to each try to be happy with our own bodies & stop pressuring/shaming other women. It's like women objectifying other women. Blech!

[deleted] · 3 months

Thank you! This! I've been feeling exactly the same way about a bunch of posts in 2X.

MaryOutside · 3 months

Weight and body image issues are tough. We all know that. Women get enough flack on Reddit in general (the one about hair styles and intelligence, anyone?), and the female presence is limited to how we look in general. It is disheartening to find the same tropes apparent here, in the one place that we can be allowed to be angry about it without receiving "it's just a joke, take your sore pussy elsewhere" feedback. That said, we can't blame those of us who have fallen victim to the machine that is consumption-based gender essentialism. It's easy to fall into that trap, and we ought to be here to give a hand up out of it. Thank you for posting this, OP.

Edit: Punctuation, eggs and orange juice.

thebigsky · 3 months

"TwoXChromosomes is for thoughtful content - serious or silly - related to gender, and intended for womens' perspectives."

As far as my understanding, 2x, is a forum, not specifically meant to be a support group. By virtue of us having an appreciation for women's perspectives, we lend each other support, but that is not its primary intention. I thought 2x was about fostering debate and discussion.

Women (if you allow me to be simplistic in the readership base) are a highly varied group of people and thus so will their perspectives be. While it is messed up to identify one sort of "real woman," it's also messed up to assume that all women confront the same sets of issues and problems, especially those that are not specifically gender based. Body image to me is a genderless problem. We should be aware there it is a serious issue that many face, but ultimately it is kind of ridiculous to assume that all comments on here will go through some sort of pro woman filter that includes the ten billion potential variable issues that any woman could be potentially affected by.

Having to deal with constant harassment from strangers, friends and family about what you should be like is totally unnecessary. But that does not allow you to expect that people are not entitled to opinions like "I think curves are sexy" "I think skinny girls are sexy" "I think insert random fruit here is sexy." These are all legitimate perspectives. It sucks majorly that people deal with crap in their lives, but they can't come to a space that promotes diversity of opinion and get upset because it reminds them of irl stuff. Equating the two instances just mentioned is illogical. I don't see this as a "Free Speech" issue because stating that you think a celeb looked better before surgery is not hateful or an attack...it's an opinion. Trigger warnings exist for people who have undergone traumatic events which the mentioning of certain things can cause really emotionally harmful consequences. I fully acknowledge the potential trauma of body issues, but it's a bit silly to assume that any post that even mentions perceptions of body should include a trigger warning.

TLDR: Women's spaces mean that this is an area where as the majority of contributors are women, they are more inclined to be aware of issues that and topics that interest and affect women. It does not mean that it's a padded area from the big bad world. Some things are genuinely disrespectful, this is not the same as things that may upset you. To push for censorship of the latter dilutes the quality of this subreddit.

KCRiley · 3 months

Giving someone a hard time for being too fat/thin/tall/short/dark/fair to be attractive is shortsighted, scummy, and obnoxious, and I'm all for making sure that nonsense gets countered or buried.

I'm also with you on how a lot of people seem to have seriously ignorant ideas about what constitutes obesity and emaciation.

However, I also see what I think is a lot of over-tolerance of people who are actually obese or emaciated and don't seem concerned about it, in the name of hurting no feelings. Not necessarily here, but I certainly wouldn't want us to try to make it that way.

So, this is just my plea to not overlook the medically significant in order to be nice.

21Celcius · 3 months

The biggest issue is that society applies medical issues that apply to over weight men to women however women can carry a bit of extra weight before it becomes unhealthy. Medical professionals say "women get sick and men die" in relation to the elderly

pass_over · 3 months

I think you need to work on your tone. You immediately put me on the defensive by saying "What is wrong with you?" in the title. Not to mention all of the assumptions you make and then direct at all of us.

You will get a lot farther if you approach a situation without anger. Reading your post really annoyed me and while I agree with most of the points you made, I think you were really rude in the way you worded it.

heatheranne · 3 months

It might just be me, but the only "body police" post I ever see are posts exactly like this, which seem to slowly get more rude over time.

sashimi_taco · 3 months

Unfortunately for 2xc, we're a big community, so we attract a lot of trolls.

I would highly suggest downloading the RES (reddit enhancement suite - google it!) because it allows you to block certain users. They can still message you, but you won't see the messages - this includes PMs. At least that way you can stop being bothered by people who chronically spout off nonsense. It has highly improved my reddit experience!

It's sometimes hard to distinguish between blatant trolling and misguided people. If you see outright nonsense, please feel free to report it, or message the mods. Legitimately differing viewpoints are welcome, but attempting to aggravate eating disorders and other self destructive behaviors isn't welcome.

Anyhow, I'm really sorry you've encountered this kind of thing here. It's really nasty, and I don't like it either.

shamecamel · 3 months

is that the image that inspired this to be posted? I hope not.

I invite the downvote brigade, but if caring about the health of another human is wrong, send me to hell. I refuse to not give a shit about others. If there's a 300 pound person, I'm not going to pretend there isn't a problem there that should be fixed. But the girl in the photo is fine, if she's healthy and happy, which she seems to be. My problem is rather with your post: to use your example, a difference exists between spitefully hating someone, and desiring for them a better lifestyle, nobody on 2X is forcing anybody to do or be or look like anything. If they are we can call them out on that individually. Stop just putting a binary blanket over all the opinions and outlawing what hasn't been diluted into pointlessness. I don't want 2X to turn into yet another girl's forum that has everybody walking on eggshells to not offend people and to be ultra-sensitive because everyone sees every opinion as either "for" or "against" and nobody can voice opinions anymore because they can be interpreted as extremes. Everyone says that we have to be self-confident, girls need to be strong and believe in their convictions enough to argue them and maybe learn from discussion with those of other opinions, nothing changes if discourse is simply forbidden because it might offend someone.

so my point: I've just voiced my opinion, I support it, I invite discussion, I acknowledge your post and your discussion, I see a lot of it as demands instead of defending your own views though, so nobody is going to learn anything here. try, "I believe that one shouldn't voice their opinions about the bodies of other women." so others can say, "I think a community full of like-minded people all helping eachother strive towards self-acceptance is awesome.

stareattheart · 3 months

like it is YOUR property to judge and make fun off.

Except it doesn't have to be yours to judge something. If judging and making fun off shit meant that you thought of it as your property, then I own half of the world in my head.

Thinking that something is cool or nice is also judgement. It's good judgement, but still judgement.

Merely having an opinion on ANYTHING means you judged it.

The girl in the picture? Have an opinion on her and on the picture? YOU JUDGEMENTAL BASTARD.

ananci · 3 months

You know what makes something not real? Having to censor every single thing you say, every single opinion you have because a place has become a 'safe space' for everyone but you.

I AM UNHAPPY BEING UNHEALTHY. Congrats, you're happy being whatever you are, good for you. Being overweight, even just 'a little' (ie not 300 lbs like your example) is unhealthy, it leads to long term health problems. It's just the way it is. Make a thread to the universe stating that it's hateful to say it, but that won't make it any less true.

I've not involved myself in drama or hate speech. I don't go up to other people and say 'hey fatty' or anything like that. But stating the truth, stating facts from my own experience - isn't that what 2x is supposed to be? I'm not shaming people for being whatever they are - healthy or unhealthy. But painting people who respectfully bring up the things they themselves are working on or dislike about themselves - who's being the body police there?

There is nothing wrong with saying 'A woman should not be ok with being fat'. Being an unhealthy weight is something that a vast majority of people suffering from it can change - even those of us with medical conditions that make it difficult.

My problem with your example picture is that it's photoshopped to hell and back. So it's ok to look like that as long as you're naturally airbrushed and smoothed out? AWESOME!

mandano · 3 months

What? Most of what I see in 2x is body acceptance stuff. Are you sure you're not talking about the wrong subreddit?

sleazyjesus · 3 months

Love you.

larabar · 3 months

Fuck this. I'm out.

vuxanov · 3 months

I will just leave this here. Its ideal weight calculator.

sashimi_taco · 3 months

[deleted]

ladymatic · 3 months

I do agree with you, but excess fat IS actually very unhealthy. You don't have to be morbidly obese for it to be a health issue.

Mephistia · 3 months

Maybe it's a word interpretation thing. For myself, I tend to equate certain descriptors with certain body types. Examples:

I see something like the image you linked, and the word "fat" does not come to mind. She's curvy, average. Not fat. Not skinny. Average. She looks fine.

I can't speak for everyone here, but I can definitively state that when I question the value of fat acceptance, I honestly am questioning the message it sends regarding health and weight. I don't think one should just sit back and say, "I'm fat, I'm born this way, nothing to be done," or, "I am big and beautiful and curvy," when they're fat (see exampe above), not actually curvy (see example above) or even just overweight (see example above).

My beef is with malnutrition and exercise issues, which can go both ways -- undereating and overexercise get you unhealthily, disturbingly skinny, and overeating and underexercise get you all fat. Moderation in portions, healthier foods, and an active lifestyle. I see nothing wrong with promoting that.

sashimi_taco · 3 months

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