Your thoughts on balancing healthy weight with healthy body image?

sambojomo

If you're not happy with how you look then change it. That doesn't make you skinny obsessed or mean that you have an unhealthy body image, it means that you like how you look at a specific weight. The only problem that I see with your body image is that you're focused on your weight, which is not really relevant. If you're exercising then you'll be building dense muscle tissue and losing fat. Changing your fat/muscle ratio should be more important than worrying about the scale.

I've also always been naturally thin but I put on some weight in the past year, and even though I think my new B cup looks great, I'd like to not put on 10 pounds every year and end up obese by the time I hit 30. So I started working out more and cutting back on my sweets for the first time in my life. I lift weights and run three times a week as well as riding a bike as my main mode of transportation and my weight is staying about the same but my body is changing in wonderful ways. I'm stronger, getting better muscle definition, losing the little pockets of fat that were developing on my belly and thighs, and I'm losing inches off of my body everywhere. I look better than I ever have before in my life and I weigh more than I ever have in my life too.

Sommiel

Healthy body image comes from feeling good in your own body. Are you comfortable? Does your body do the things that you want it to? Are you fit?

Small boned/big boned aside, most of us creep up in weight as we get older. What is important is keeping the machine running in peak condition.

JamEaterBlues

You shouldn't have to just "deal" with being heavier because you are getting older and putting the weight on. It sounds like what you have been doing is positive and healthy. It's not unhealthy to be unhappy about weight gain, especially when it's abnormal for you. The problem with the whole "anti weight obsession, it's okay to be fat" movement that seems to be popping up in modern feminism is that it is also pretty weight obsessed, and is often interpreted by others as "go ahead, keep gaining weight...but you are still pretty and special...there is no need to take care of your body at all, because being fat is still healthy!!! Wanting to be fit=wrong, and fat=right."

We see overweight people as "average" in our culture because western countries like America and Europe have adapted to a very unhealthy relationship with food and fitness, but that doesn't mean that we should all be rolling to accept it for ourselves.

The bottom line is if you find your weight gain troubling, don't be complacent just because you feel ashamed about caring about what you look like, and you shouldn't be guilted into feeling like being overweight is attractive or right for you. You don't have to just accept your weight gain. Also, a well balanced diet and regular exorcise is a very positive thing that not enough people bother embracing. You will be doing your body a favor for the rest of your life by putting in that kind of effort into it now. 140 sounds like a great goal.

sambojomo

I've gotten a bit chunky after 30 and honestly I don't care. I exercise to feel good, not to look good. I think there is far too much obsession about looks and weight in western society. As long as you feel healthy you are healthy in my opinion. I can still admire women (and men) who look very well trained. One of my best friends do. But she loves training more than anything and I know what extreme amounts of work she puts in to it. I've just made other priorities in life and I'm fine with that.

If you can't accept that getting older means changing mentally as well as physically I think you'll have an emotional breakdown sooner or later because change is unavoidable. Getting old is natural and it's a journey we should enjoy instead of wasting it on obsessing about a little bit of fat or a couple of wrinkles.

TLDR: Exercise to feel good, not to look good.

pax_mentis

This is something that's been on my mind too - at times to an unhealthy degree (for awhile I felt like I focused on my appearance to a degree where I risked getting a legitimate eating disorder) - although I think I've reached a healthier point. I think if your main goal is health over aesthetics and you know that, you're probably good to go.

I can relate somewhat in that I'm also one of those people who can appreciate thin or curvy girls as long as they look healthy, and yet I feel best myself when I'm on the thinner side. I was very thin growing up no matter how I ate and also associated that figure with me. I gained 20+ pounds in the first two years after starting birth control and college (I'm sure they both contributed), and that was much less healthy on my frame. In the past several months I have been on a health kick, attempting to revamp my lifestyle. I took out most of the unhealthy foods I ate, changed my portion sizes, took out soda, started exercising, etc etc. I'm at a healthy weight now, but wouldn't mind losing a few more pounds if I stayed feeling good.

140 lbs sounds like a healthy goal for you, and I don't think you should feel somehow skinny-obsessed for having it as long as you're willing to lose that weight at a healthy rate (~1 lb/week). The unfortunate thing about changing your lifestyle (eating and exercise habits) to be healthier is that initially you are going to have to focus more on it; eventually it should become automatic, though. The more automatic it becomes for me, the less obsessive I get about it, and the healthier I feel mentally. Being healthy physically is important too, though (especially long term!), so I'd say putting up with the slight obsessing for a bit is worth it.

Good luck balancing it all - I'm sure you'll get it right. :)

tl;dr: I can relate; keep it focused on health over appearance and you should be fine.

cl3ft

Unfortunately it is very dificult to change what makes you feel good about yourself. If looking slim and healthy affects how you feel about yourself then a healthy weight is not just a BMI measurement or a number of lbs/inches, it is a mental health issue too. Be the weight that makes you happy with your self image.

Radeberger

I don't know if it's healthy, but at least it works. I only feel good about myself when I stay slender. When I exercise and eat healthy, I feel good. If i don't exercise and eat unhealthy I start feeling fat and disgusting. I know i'm completely buying into the thin tyranny, but it's much easier to maintain the figure I feel good with than to try to change my own perceptions of how I should look. I plan to stay fit and slender for the rest of my life. Wrinkles, gray hair and general misery is enough to deal with.

kabochahead

WEIGHT TRAIN. And lift heavy. Seriously. It will do wonders for your body comp, but that becomes secondary to how strong it makes you feel both physically and mentally.

I've had tough battles with everything body-image related, and weight training singularly redefined for me what I want my body to be (strong and healthy). I'd imagine kickboxing/martial arts would produce similar results, but I don't have any experience with either. Either way, you can refuse to participate in "skinny-obsession" and still focus on your body. Start with acceptance, then line up your goals.

GodzillaFirebox

"I'd like to get back to about 140 - I'm 5'8" but my family runs small-boned and very willowy, so 140 is a healthy goal."

Wait wait, you're trying to convince us that 140 at 5'8" is healthy instead of underweight? Of course it's not underweight, it's a chunky weight unless you're seriously muscular.

I started losing weight at 140 and I'm 5'7" because I was sick of my gut and man boobed flat chest.

I'm 5'7" at 125 now and I'm medium-framed, so being small-boned and willowy would mean you could probably go to 125 just fine, perhaps even 118.

reeksofhavoc

The guideline starts like this:

5'0" = 100lbs.

For every inch above five feet add five pounds. Your heaviest and lightest should be five pounds give or take.

You = 5'8" 135 to 145.

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