My spouse/baby-momma reads our 3 yr old son "audibles" from her kobo vox (the kobo does the reading) at bedtime. I feel like this is a bad idea, what do you think?

sprgtime · 3 months

I've never heard of a kobo vox, now I feel old.

If he's getting these audibles instead of reading, then yes, I'd think it's without question a bad thing.

Your concern about the screen time is absolutely valid. Light in the room when you sleep reduces sleep quality, plus using a laptop or watching tv within 2 hours of bedtime makes it harder for your brain to go to sleep and may affect sleep quality.

We read to our 3.5-yr-old son as part of bedtime routine. However, after it's time for lights out, I give him the option of a book on cassette tape if he'd like. We have a few that are 15 minutes long, and he typically is asleep well before it ends. They turn themselves off (cuz cassettes were high tech like that, lol). The stories we have on tape do have sound effects, but they're soothing peaceful ones that kind of lull you to sleep. The reader's voice is also soothing, and at the end of the story there's a very sleepy song that follows.

badandy · 3 months

The reading is a lot more exciting than me or her reading because it has some sound effects.

You can make sound effects too! Plus when you read with your son you can make it interactive and exciting.

IMO you're overthinking it. I really don't see your son valuing an audio book over time reading with his old man.

LivingDaylight · 3 months

[deleted]

Arms_Akimbo · 3 months

For most of human history, stories were passed down orally.

If the sound is good and the voice isn't mechanical I see no problem with it if she (or you) stays with him during the story and the device is put aside so you're only listening.

beaniepod · 3 months

I don't mind it, I can remember being put to sleep by cassette-story (Disney's Cinderella, anyone?) when I was a kid, and if you dim the backlight out, it's pretty much the same idea. I do remember my parents wandering away because I was occupied and they'd like to read their slightly more inappropriate for kids books in good lighting.

That said, my Bean prefers her daddy reading stories to her at night because he'll slip into a monotone and go through an entire chapter without stopping, much like a recording would. Hell, I pass out from his reading to her if I stay for a cuddle. I tend to get ramped up myself when I read out loud, so my monotone isn't terribly good. Then she bounces around because I sound "fun". I'm the daytime reader, he's the nighttime.

It mostly works out, we may do some pre-recorded nights as she gets older- Daddy works shift, and it means he may not be home to put her to bed. Somewhat similar in nature- if he's reading the story strictly to put her to sleep, and it's just his voice coming from my blacked out laptop... she doesn't need explanations for the night stories, she's just getting the vocabulary and some audial drone as a part of a comforting routine. So long as it can be blacked out, and it's somewhat soothing in nature (I remember Cinderella being exciting and having to stay awake to find out what happened next- even though I knew the movie) I'd just say it's probably fine for your SO to use if she's too exciting as herself. Definitely maintain presence in the room while the story is ongoing, either cuddling or holding hands, so that the recording doesn't become a substitute for a parent's comfort.

We've found that we can't even use a lamp to get the light to read by- it's too bright because she wants to turn towards us as she's being read to. It contributes to keeping her awake. Maybe it's to see any available pictures or just to make sure we're still there, but she definitely starts acting "cute" in her bed and getting excitable. We're resorting to turning on the hall light, cracking the door wide enough to let light spill on the page we're reading, and reading with softer voices and holding hands during the story-time. A story read from digital equipment, like a recording might end up being the path we need to take just to maintain the level of dark night calm she requires to get to sleep on her schedule. Don't know yet. She seems sensitive to lights on at night, so we start dimming out artificial light about an hour before bed for her, in the winter it's still after the sun went down; in the summer before. I know I have a hard time sleeping after artificial stimulation (lights or sounds, so a lamp or radio is enough to keep me up) in the evening, she just seems to trend after me in this. We don't have TV in the bedroom just because even though my spouse can pass out with it running, I'm awake and mulling long past turning it off. It's not inherently evil because it's not your SO reading, I think so long as the kiddo knows that mommy is staying to keep them company until they go to sleep it's fine.

TheNegligentMom · 3 months

Baby momma? Hate that phrase.

As for the question, maybe your spouse has reasons for why she prefers the kobo box. If you would rather have someone read a story to your child, there is nothing preventing you from doing exactly that.

therationalparent · 3 months

Better than no reading at all, which a lot of children have.

I'm not sure what a "kobo vox" is, but if it is a computer generated voice I would suggest getting stories recorded by great actors.

hgielrehtaeh · 3 months

I don't understand why. Why not just read to your child?

I know that research studies have shown kids have vocabulary.decreases for every extra hour of television they watch. I would imagine it would be similar here. Human interaction almost always trumps screen time for helping kids develop.

Your other points are valid too, about back lighting and exciting sounds. I just cant understand wanting to sit with your 3 year old and listen to a book instead of reading it.

ogredeschnique · 3 months

Talk to her. It's called communication. She doesn't read to the kid and you don't talk to her. Sounds like a lot of issues. It's a complicated topic. I hope you get it sorted out. :-\ We're all just people.

jaraparra · 3 months

Young children develop language skills using the social part of their brain, so actually listening to a real life person speak to them is more effective than listening to that same voice from a tv screen or audio book. The kobovox will be entertaining, but your son needs a degree of interaction with a real person to really get the most out of the reading experience.

Krazistar · 3 months

If you think your child needs to be read an actual book then that can be YOUR job. I see nothing wrong with your SO choosing to use the kobo because it's all about the quality time you spend with your child. If you want to sweat the details then it is up to YOU to read the book to your child.

Reddittorswife · 3 months

Reading might just not be her thing...do you have to take turns? Does she complain about bedtime being a hassle? It really isn't likely hurting him ,and kids go to sleep different for different people.

I would leave it alone unless the mom asks your opinion, and even then don't say it is wrong try 'might not be the best time' or something very non confrontational, if she is already self conscious about her ability to put the kid to bed and or read she really doesn't need you harping on it.

mobilitynow · 3 months

Oh shit.

Well, maybe you should put the kid to bed every night since she doesn't actually like doing it. And maybe she should consider getting a dog instead of a child. Too snarky. Sorry.

Of course, every time I disagree with my wife on a parenting issue the conversations tend to be ...unfulfilling... shall we say. However, you've got to talk to her.

What she is losing is intimacy with her son. This isn't the kind of thing you can get back. I think reading ebooks to your child is fine, although I agree about the backlit screens before bed, and even having the kobo read to the kid at other times is ok too. But, at bedtime, listening to mommy's voice is important. Love, safety and all that.
It isn't called the easy way because it's the right thing to do.

bresa · 3 months

If it's the more exciting reading she's looking for with sound effects and all, a leappad would be the way to go imo.

The-odd-one-out · 3 months

Thats just effin lazy. Half the fun when reading to children is making the sound effects/voices up yourself. No memories are made having a robot do your work.

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