I'm afraid I won't even last foreplay. How do I last longer.

TheForeignMan · 3 months

Bring yourself to the edge, and don't cum. Calm down, then repeat. Do this a few times every time you masturbate, and it'll help give you more control. You'll be more aware of your body and you'll be able to tell when you're about to climax, giving you chance to pace yourself.
When you get to actual sex, relax! It's supposed to be fun! if you finish sooner than you would like, remember your tongue and fingers don't go soft ;) being good in bed doesn't mean 'be a porn star', just keep communicating with your partner, have fun and you'll do fine. I believe in you!!

shaggorama · 3 months

I'm afraid I won't even last foreplay.

So....you haven't had sex yet then? Don't stress about it. You can cross that bridge when you come to it (so to speak).

LuxNocte · 3 months

Guys, in general, are too focused on penetration. Women don't usually orgasm from penetration alone. Overgeneralizing way too broadly, I'd say that cunnilingus for women is like penetration for guys. (YMMV)

I try to make a girl orgasm before even penetrating. I enjoy going down...but it's not as "stimulating" for me...I think of it as giving her a head start. If she's working on her second orgasm before I even start thinking about my first, sometimes she'll get there, sometimes she won't, but either way, we both leave happy.

boolean_sledgehammer · 3 months

Here's the thing - you have to do kegels for more than a week in order for them to be effective.

Your pelvic floor muscles are, as the name implies, muscles. Do you get ripped six pack abs after only a week of doing crunches? Can you dead-lift 500 lbs after one week at the gym?

Of course not.

If you're looking for some magical formula that is going to give you herculean sexual stamina overnight, you're going to be sorely disappointed. Lasting longer in the sack is no different than any other skill - it takes practice. It takes a while to strengthen an underused muscle, and you have to keep at it.

After a month or two, you should start to notice that you have better control over your ejaculation reflex. It will take a few tries, but with practice you'll be able to clamp down on your pc muscles, ride out the urge to ejaculate, and keep going.

You also have to change your body's response to stimulation. A lot of guys have been inadvertently training themselves to pop off as soon as possible through their masturbation habits alone. Another thing you can do to get yourself used to the idea of not ejaculating as quickly as possible is to masturbate until you feel an orgasm coming on, but then stop. Seriously, stop. Don't cum. Making a habit of this does wonders for training your body to recognize that stimulation doesn't automatically have to end in orgasm.

In short, change your masturbation habits, keep doing kegels. This almost always works. Above all, be patient. It isn't going to happen overnight.

balancedhighs · 3 months

If you were going to get used to pain what would you do? Inflict small amounts of pain at increasing intervals to get used to it.

Exactly the same method should be used with masturbation. Masturbate really really really really really really really lightly. Then when you're about to cum, stop, calm down a little, then try again, but this time, do it slightly less vigorously. Eventually, you'll get used to it. But you just need to control those nerve endings in your penis!

mandano · 3 months

Real sex isn't the same as masturbation. The pressure on your dick from another person's mouth/ vagina/ whatever is a lot weaker than the pressure and motion you put on it with your own hand, so you'll probably last longer during sex with another person

recoil669 · 3 months

I can get myself off in under a minute, sex almost always goes longer than 30 though.

twiggy_trippit · 3 months

Here's something I wrote on that topic a while ago. But the Foreign Man basically summed up the technical advice for it.

I think you should be upfront with an eventual partner that you come really quickly, and at first you should focus more on sensual touching than directly working on your dick, just to enjoy the nice sensation that won't get you off. There are all sorts of ways of making love, and you need to adapt to what your body can and can't do at the moment. Focus on the things that work and that make the two of you feel nice.

Also, I think it's a matter of how quickly you can recover from your ejaculations. It's not necessarily that big of a deal if you come quickly but are raring to go again moments later, but it really depends how your body works.

Rambosherbet · 3 months

I might pose this question to r/sex. I don't think this is the right subreddit for this.

Walfred · 3 months

Like others have said, try to "Edge".

I'd recommend at first, masturbate until your close, and just stop. Put the porn away, and go do other things. Give yourself "blue balls" if you will. When you first do this, it'll be very short you erect/close, but if you keep doing this, you'll end up pushing yourself longer and longer you will last longer.

Another thing I'd try, after masturbating do it again right after. Try and get yourself to recharge and get hard. You might find if you last much longer on the second round.

Lastly, and most importantly. When I masturbate I take maybe 10-20% of the time it takes me to cum while receiving oral. Try getting a blowjob and do the same edging techniques.

i_am_sad · 3 months

http://www.demonoid.me/files/details/2635236/29430948/

[deleted] · 3 months

Read the Kinsley Report

mugfulofbees · 3 months

Hey, I wouldn't worry about it all to much. I also don't last to long when I am playing a solo game. Truly, who wants to? Its a get-in-get-out back to business as usual operation.
But, when I am with a consenting lady friend its a different ball game. It feels different, smells different, and there is another person with you. Its a horizontal adventure. So, as long as you don't really over think shit and back yourself up, or over exit yourself at the prospect rl sexy-time you will be fine.
Plus, when you are that aroused... which is significantly more than when your locked in a bathroom somewhere with a laptop, your brain kinda turns off. More specifically your central nervous system lowers in function. So, don't stress you will live.

averyrdc · 3 months

Do you smoke cigarettes? What is your diet like? How much caffeine and alcohol do you intake? Are you under a lot of stress?

Sex acts aside, these are important factors that do affect your libido.

satanlovesme · 2 months

This book will tell you all.

literallyoverthemoon · 3 months

Have you ever had sex?

You'll last a lot longer than you do on your own.

Clbull · 3 months

Maybe see a doctor?

I think if you only last 30 seconds from masturbation, it's probably a case of premature ejaculation.

BaseballGuyCAA · 3 months

Smoke some weed beforehand. It somehow has the seemingly-incompatible effects of making you more sensitive, while also enhancing your ability to control when you get off.

Metaxis · 3 months

hey man, Its mostly in your head when you masturbate your trying to get your fix of dopamine if your serious about changing this you need to change your perception of your happy fappy times.. it should be about gettng to know your body.

first and foremost id ditch the porn, also have a look at your brain on porn

and join /r/pornfree i gaurntee you its affecting you more than you realise.

on the fapping side of things it would help to cut down, put a side a fap day you can look forward to (id suggest once ever week or two) and really enjoy it draw it out as much as you can, hell buy some nice lotion and make it special. the point is you have to re train your brain to associate being erect with enjoying being erect and not racing to the finish.

Id sugest lurking on /r/nofap as well.

its not a big deal it will just take a bit of effort. good luck!

pcarvious · 3 months

Second and third shots usually take longer to achieve than the first. If you have the time you could masturbate before you know you're going to have sex.

slandeh · 3 months

TBH, Kegel exercises are for guys who want to get bigger, not go longer.

The first thing you need to do is find your climax point and learn to stop. When you can manage that, you can actually do well with shooting. What you should do is what was mentioned above, edge until you reach your climax point, stop, calm down, and start over. Another thing to try is when you are taking a piss, try to stop midstream. This helps you recognize your climax point and learn to stop and start on command. It can also teach you intensify and shoot farther and harder.

3 months

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