I am a career restaurant waiter (10 years in, six with the same company, have continually declined any sort of management role). AMA

floats · 2 years

Having come from a non-tipping country, I've always found it weird that the appropriate tip is determined by a percentage of the bill. After all, does it really take any more effort to serve foie gras rather than a salad? Why should you get tipped less for serving a salad?

Could you please explain this or at least give your opinion?

zoog · 2 years

When I go out to dinner with a certain group of my friends (we're college students and fairly cheap/broke - the fanciest place we go to is The Cheesecake Factory), at the end of nearly every meal they all start chiming in with, "Ohhh... I don't have any cash on me - just my card." They seem to lack the foresight to mention this at the beginning of the meal so we can ask for separate checks.

Anyway, one of them shared the idea (that she had seen one of her other friends do) to, after having been given the check, add up each person's individual total (tax included) ourselves and just write everyone's names (matching the names that appear on the credit cards) on the back of the receipt with their respective total next to it.

It makes me uneasy every time we do it but since I don't want to be the one who ends up with the $100 bill on my card with empty promises of being paid back, I just go through with it.

Is this a dick move?

StuGovGuy · 2 years

Whats the funniest story about people fighting over the check?

hpymondays · 2 years

Is it true that black people don't tip well?

mobius88 · 2 years

Do you prefer it if I pay the bill with my credit card but tip in cash?

DreadPirateFlint · 2 years

Excellent AMA, thank you for doing it. I was introduced to fine dining about 10 years ago by an older good friend, who would always take me and some friends out to dinner at a top-notch steak house in San Francisco (Alfred's). I was (and still am) fascinated by the experience of truly being served by a skilled waiter. Could you suggest any reading on the subject of how to be a good patron or the whole patron / waiter interactions? How did you learn your skills?

Autoground · 2 years

Thanks for this AMA. I haven't waited tables for 6 years but this summer I've landed a server position at a high-volume restaurant. It's touch and go, but I'm hanging in there.

We recently had two servers fired for having bad attitudes. One did, the other only so-so. I am currently worried about my expendability. To get to my question: In your experience, how do managers decide on firing or keeping people, to what extent does it depend on getting along with everyone else (as opposed to just performance), and what are some general tips on being favored by the managers?

Any tips at all would be awesome, actually. Thanks so much.

RevisionZero · 2 years

What kind of degree do you have? I am curious if it ties in with what you being a waiter.

epalla · 2 years

do you report your tips on your taxes?

elksfww3 · 2 years

I've been serving at a Mexican restaurant for almost a year now. It's not one I would consider particularly good on the food side. Tonight (friday) I made $79 after tip-outs on $500 sales... slow night. On weeknights, I'll usually take home ~ $50-60 with $300-400 sales. What kind of take home do you make at better restaurants?

Basically, should I try to find a better restaurant to work at?

schrutebucks · 2 years

What's the most annoying drink you have to make for a guest? I always hated making the "60% lemonade 40% tea" Arnold Palmer. They always bitch if the ratio isn't exactly right.

Ranlier · 2 years

If people want to go dutch how should that be done? People divine it up themselves or do you not mind making separate bills?

alekzandra · 2 years

How often do you get hit on/asked out by your customers? Do you ever get phone numbers written on receipts or anything? My friends and I have all done that as some point or another, usually with no response, but there has been the occasional success story. My guess is that it happens to servers all the time, is this correct?

dantrons · 2 years

how do you feel about countries like England or Australia (where I live) were we dont tip at all. From what I understand wait staff earn a lower wage and they require tips to live off. In Sydney for example wait staff earn a higher wage and therefore do not require tips. How would you feel working in an environment with no tips for a guaranteed higher wage?

V2Blast · 2 years

How much should I tip you?

Gaget · 2 years

Do you work at Ruth's Chris?

YouBestBeTrollin · 2 years

Any protips for people who are interested in picking up a job as a waiter? And how does one get a job at a restaurant with out prior experience?

lando9000 · 2 years

why have you turned down the management roles?

d0m0kun · 2 years

Are you in it for the money?

climateoffear · 2 years

I always hear restaurants are havens of incest and drama. Given that you work in a fine dining establishment now, it may not be the case, but at some of the more proletariat places you have worked at, was it true?

jesuswuzanalien · 2 years

How much money did you make last year?

[deleted] · 2 years

Do you ever have problems with host/busing staff? I was a host at a restaurant, and I know that I've seen bussers and other hosts/hostess have a shitty attitude, spill drinks, and just generally be unruly people. I know this cost the servers tips, and i also saw a hostess who would basically shake her rack and watch the money pour in for the servers :) she was awesome!

I really like your approach to restaurant work, people are pretty easy to manipulate once you realize what they want, and some wait staff never figure that out. Most of the wait staff i worked with didn't last long, and it was directly related to them thinking their work was "unfair" because people tipped poorly or didnt respect them.

[deleted] · 2 years

I too am (so far) a career restaurant waiter and will tag onto your AMA. It's not my first career choice but in 9 or so years I've done pretty well in terms of increasingly high-profile venues, developing as a person and as part of a new mix, and becoming good at what I do. I'm not in it for the money (it's not easy) and it's certainly not made me rich, but I make a decent living. I like the social brew of able bodied men and women that top places tend to attract, and I like the freshness and vibrance of meeting classy people from all walks of life, if never even knowing their names. I've worked in some of the top LA restaurants and served many celebrities. I did get a $1000 tip from a very well known couple (although pretty much all top joints are now pooled).

What has served me well is a good attitude, hard work, and caring about the details, and caring about the experiences people have at my table. Through my work I can sustain and give to other people from my own heart. These exchanges are rewarding...

What has hurt me is perfectionism and criticism of coworkers, competitiveness, and allowing job or mgmt-induced stresses to bleed over to guests. I'm now at a good place. I'm entering my prime now I feel, a certain golden state when I know my shit up and down and I'm still young enough to not mind the other BS.

At the end of the day our job is both simple and complex, part grunt work, part tradecraft, part muscle memory, part sincerity, style, and spin. Personal growth and social sensibilities, communication and relationship savvy are extremely important in this environment, and really are earned through experience. I feel restaurants have been the ideal cauldron to mature and socialize me, bump off the rough edges, and lend me plenty of firsthand experience about people and places.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, but yes, we are legion, yes we have stories, and yes, sometimes it all comes together and can be a great job.

**** four stars I would eat there again

albatross5000 · 2 years

Just saying, the waiters at a restaurant I cooked at, on Newbury st in Boston, would come to work in mercedes and bmws. They were excellent. Extremely intelligent, very well spoken, and a pleasure to work with.

Vlayden · 2 years

I'm a cook and I'm curious how long your ticket times are and how you ring things, and how your cooks take care of it all. I've worked in places where you have pick ups then order fires, which seems to work really well in a fine dining experience. Where I work now everything is order fire at the discretion of the servers. It gets really hectic at times when we seat 40 people at once. Our line only consists up to 5 cooks on the busiest night, and we do up to 250 covers.

fotopaper · 2 years

Do all college age kids get shitty service?

I had to work in food service to put me through college. So when i get really shitty service, I write it off as a bad hair day for the wait staff. But I still notice that when my wife and I go to restaurants, we are treated like morons that are wasting your time. Always pay 20%+, and I like to indulge when eating out.

Edit: This shitty service pattern only holds true when we visit expensive restaurants, The waiters at longhorn/chillis/local mom-n-pop diner always treat us well.

Fafoah · 2 years

Is is possible that a check can't be split because the party was too big? We had like 16 people wanting to pay individually and we told them at the beginning of the dinner but at the end they said "the computer couldn't handle splitting it that much" which I though was BS.

hyperkill · 2 years

Are you in the Chicago area?

MartinMargiela · 2 years

Restaurant gossip story, http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/item_InLhyPTIBb2CVqz158oXzN;jsessionid=0AF572369096FBF95101B40BC70AEF62

knitmensch · 2 years

My question is about the finer points of tipping. What are some of the "rules" (I know it's discretionary, but still) of tipping that you wish more people would follow? For example, if I use a coupon, I tip based on the undiscounted total. But what else is there that we should think about?

Some possibilities: I don't drink alcohol, but if I go to a fine restaurant where most people do, and if I take up the table for a typical or longer-than-typical period of time, I tend to tip a higher percentage. Or I'll tip more if my child makes a mess (I also do my best to clean it up myself), or if my dining companions are obnoxious or impolite to the server, or if our order is particularly complex and the server gets it right the first time or corrects mistakes quickly.

knitmensch · 2 years

I'd like to ask about manners. I was brought up to treat everyone politely, regardless of the nature of my contact with them; so I say "please," "thank you," etc., to waiters as a matter of course. When my table companions don't, I feel embarrassed for them. It's not that they're being obnoxious, just that they seem to be acting on the basis of a server/customer relationship and assuming that means that the usual courtesies among equals aren't required. So where I might ask before we've finished eating, "Could we have our check, please? I'd like to get these kids out of your hair while they're still behaving well," they might just flag the waiter down and say, "Check?" when s/he approaches.

What's your take on this? Is it annoying to get terse requests without a "please," or do courtesies/talk beyond the minimum requests from customers feel like a waste of time, or what? If a customer says "thank you" every time you fill their water glass, for example, does that feel weird?

hieronymus_botch · 2 years

Do servers understand that I feel as uncomfortable as they do about my friends leaving 5% tips on good service? I don't want to start tip-checking, but neither do I want to acquire a poor reputation by association.

Ranlier · 2 years

What do you think about "Waiter's rant" ?

sardinski · 2 years

Do you read the "Waiter Rant" blog; or have you read his book? For anyone who's enjoyed this AMA, I recommend both. (What's great about the book is that it's not just a cut-and-paste job from his blog entries.)

mamallama · 2 years

I've read some of the server bashing that goes on here and I'd like to say thanks for being so brave in posting this. I don't really have a question as I am on my 8th year of full time serving. But again, thanks for your honesty and keep up the good work.

lexmichaels · 2 years

Why do you choose to stay a career waiter and turn down offers of greater responsibility?

jacobbbb · 2 years

Why do you feel no drive to move on? Just satisfied? Asking as a college student who isnt looking forward to what his white collar future may hold.

[deleted] · 2 years

How much do you make per year?

3 corollary) Don't ask managers to think for you. "Table 12's pissed, what do you want to do?" is not as good as "Table 12's pissed because of X, and I'd like to do Y about it". Now you're asking for a green-light, not a idea from thin air.

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