this post was submitted on
25 points (72% like it)
40 up votes 15 down votes
all 35 comments

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

I already tried lowering my standards. When we were about to get it on, I couldnt get it up...

[–]pie-oh-my[!] 3 points4 points ago

This is exactly the problem with going down this route. I had a similar (perhaps stranger?) experience: we had sex, but I wasn't into it, and couldn't orgasm. After she did the second time we just stopped. Awkward

[–]sparktika 1 point2 points ago

What was wrong with her, if I might ask?

[–]pie-oh-my[!] 1 point2 points ago

She was pretty overweight. I'm not shallow; if I liked her, it'd have been fine. But it was fwb.

Still, I surprised myself. And we weren't even drinking, so I had absolutely know excuse. There's no way for her not to take it personally. I felt bad.

[–]sparktika 0 points1 point ago

It can happen even with someone you are attracted to. Yah, it isn't always just the weight...it can be that certain something.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

The first time me and my current GF did it I didn't finish up, and she's absolutely gorgeous.

Sometimes it just happens, maybe it was nerves? First time with a different person and all that.

[–]sparktika 2 points3 points ago

What was wrong with her?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

She wasnt that attractive. But I can usually overlook it. Hygiene was another big problem. Once something smells bad, I am very very turned off. This is why I am scared of dating BBWs. If not for this, I would be less fa.

[–]sparktika 4 points5 points ago

Agree with the hygiene. I don't know if fat people smell worse or not. I did know a girl in high school that would use antiperspirant between her rolls after a shower. Also, there is a difference between chubs and obese.

[–]Black_Gold[S] 1 point2 points ago

Then stay true but stay real, brah.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

I don't have high standards, just low self esteem. Why bother asking people out when you don't think anyone will say yes?

[–]Black_Gold[S] 2 points3 points ago

I wasn't speaking for myself but if you read my history I believe you won't see self esteem issues,just anti-social tendencies, misanthropy and social awkwardness. Anyway, I agree that when high standards occur,even if not on a conventional level (those who don't go for commercial beauty, status etc) it is a defense mechanism from someone who fears the strings attached. It can also be sabotage, so...

[–]bnb123 7 points8 points ago

My standards are basic. A clean person that doesn't smell like asshole and isn't as dumb as a post. That's pretty much it.

[–]LordScoffingtonPhiladelphia 4 points5 points ago

Fancy bastard, as long as she doesn't smell like hot turds in July I'll give her a shot!(though I can't guarantee results) Yes; I'm that pathetic.

[–]Black_Gold[S] 1 point2 points ago

Fair enough.

[–]theJavo 4 points5 points ago*

i tried lowering my standards i ended up wasting my time on a person that treated me like shit, She liked me and i liked that about her so i forced myself to get attracted to her and then she started cheating on me. long story short 2 years wasted on a horrid bitch that i wouldnt have dated in the first place because i lowered my standards.

[–]Black_Gold[S] 2 points3 points ago

Keep your standards loyal to your self, it will take longer and force you to improve who YOU are but no more horrid bitches.

[–]Massive_Unit 4 points5 points ago

My standards are a girl who keeps relatively clean and doesn't outweigh me by more than 50 lbs.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

...and can handle your username.

[–]Black_Gold[S] 1 point2 points ago

I ROFL but I can see where you are coming from.

[–]Lord_Fancy_Words 0 points1 point ago

Being in the United States and being 135 pounds as a 5'9" guy, my options are severely limited.

But dag nabbit, I'm not going to date somebody who's 5 inches shorter and pushing 200 pounds. >.>

[–]sunsunsun 4 points5 points ago

Here's why I once had high standards: Because I was insecure as everliving fuck and I wanted to rationalize not pursuing women that I found to be attractive because I feared rejection / embarrasment / exposing myself as a weak person. As painful as being single is to me, it's also for the most part comfortable. It was me trying to turn the low road into a high road. I now have other reasons for being FA, but I now am brave enough to admit that standards play no part in it.

[–]Black_Gold[S] 1 point2 points ago

You have dignity. You prefer being alone to being in bad company.

[–]sunsunsun 4 points5 points ago

Thanks, I appreciate it but I think this is even more rationalization. Not nearly as toxic of a rationalization, though. I stumbled upon the realization that there are "soul mates" for some people and not for others. I am the type of guy that would be happy with a lot of different women, not because I have low standards but because I am a very agreeable, open minded person who is open to new experiences. In the words of Love,

You know that I could be in love with almost everyone
I think that people are
The greatest fun

I suppose that I am a Forver Alone anomoly in that regard. I have grown to love huge parties and I can hold my own in a night club. There isn't really such a thing as bad company to me. But I can walk away in the morning feeling more lonely than ever.

[–]Black_Gold[S] 2 points3 points ago

Point taken. I appreciate the time you took to open up.

[–]cdchris12 2 points3 points ago

Perhaps. Enjoy the upvote.

[–]dumpass 2 points3 points ago

I can admit to this but only because I envision the perfect person WHO JUST DOESN'T EXIST

[–]icosa20 1 point2 points ago

You'd think one of the characteristics of a "perfect" person is that they exist. :(

[–]werwer335needy 1 point2 points ago

my standards are higher than what i can demand?

[–]Black_Gold[S] 1 point2 points ago

Explain it to me like I'm 5. PM me if you wish.

[–]osteenq 1 point2 points ago

My standards are incredibly forgiving when compared with those of most women.

I've been attracted to chicks with visible mustaches.

[–]Black_Gold[S] 0 points1 point ago

WOW! That reminded me of the guy who posted a complaint about his GF's whiskers but that turned out better than expected.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Black_Gold[S] 0 points1 point ago

I don't believe I implied that one should be with someone who he/she isn't attracted to. I'll check my history anyway.