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[–][deleted] ago

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[–]fatslicemike 100 points101 points ago

Wow, did things ever improve with your mom?

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]fatslicemike 196 points197 points ago

I applaud your mature grateful attitude. Sorry the relationship isn't more stable.

[–]notvaler 25 points26 points ago

I feel like I just missed something important.

[–]fightinscot 1328 points1329 points ago

I worked at a grocery store during high school as a cashier. One typical busy Sunday, I was ringing out an older lady who was buying among her normal groceries, a birthday cake for her husband. They had recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary and it was his 79th birthday. She had a large sheet cake with the typical happy birthday greeting and a photo of him at his first birthday after getting back from Europe in WW2. She left it in her cart until I had rang everything else out so not to damage it. A child was with his family in line behind her. The lady begins to lift the cake out and the child screams, "Oh cake, I want some!". The lady politely says, "You do? This is for my husband, do you think he will like it?". The child shrieks, "Yea, I do and I want some!". The lady giggles and says "No hun, I would like to, I have a lot of people waiting for it. Maybe your mummy and daddy will buy you one.". The kid, obviously not used to being told no throws a fit and does a Hulk Smash down through the plastic into the cake and giggles and he licks his hands. The lady is speechless, meanwhile asshole child's parents are laughing and saying the usual "oh, _______, you are so funny.". The kid is still giggling and saying how fun it was. I chime in and ask them what their problem was, thinking it is okay for their kid to do that? They just say, he is 8, what can I do? I said punish him, learn how to raise your child, should I go on? I close my line down and leave them standing there while I go back to the bakery to fix her cake. After about 20 minutes of cake surgery by our bakery ladies, reprinting a new edible image and new piping, the cake was good as new. Parents complained, but after I told my manager, she took my side and all was well.

TL,DR: Asshole child Hulk Smashes an elderly woman's cake for her husband, child and parents not remorseful.

[–]JustDessertsHAHPUN 584 points585 points ago

Wow, I've seen almost the exact same thing. This was a few years ago.

I own a grocery store. It's the only grocery store in town (pretty small town). I mean, there's like corner stores and stuff where you can buy basics, but they don't have a lot and their stuff is really expensive. So, my store is pretty much the only place you can buy groceries in town (next closest town is like a 45 minute drive).

So anyway, we also have a bakery. And one of the nicest women in the world (who was also my former teacher) had us make a cake for her husband's 90th birthday, she was throwing a huge party for him. It was a badass cake.

So, there was this little shit running around and his parents didn't care. He was throwing things all over the floor and was stealing cookies. Before I had a chance to stop him, he ran over to the bakery. He saw the cake we made behind the counter and started grabbing with his disgusting hands and shoveling it into his fat hole before someone was able to stop him. The cake was fucked beyond repair.

The parents came like 2 minutes later and started complaining that we let their kid get all messy. They didn't apologize. They didn't act shocked. I was furious at this point. I started yelling at them and they asked to see my manager, because "you can't treat a customer like that" (I was wearing the standard uniform because someone called in sick for the day and I was filling in). I then told them I was the owner and they weren't allowed in my store anymore, and said if they ever come back I'm going to call the police. I took their picture and hung it up so every employee will be able to identify them.

Most satisfying feeling ever.

Also, the cake we made was totally fucked up, but I had one express delivered from a specialty cake shop. That woman deserves it. I got invited to the party, too :>.

[–]Istalkcelery 120 points121 points ago

I <3 you. It is so awesome to see a business owner put someone in their place rather than letting douchebags be douchebags for the sake of the almighty dollar/"bottom line".

[–]fightinscot 84 points85 points ago

Something like that happening in a lot of small towns is good enough to cause a family to have to move.

Some people feel that their children can do no wrong and it is someone else's fault for their terrible parenting.

It is nice to get someone taken care of in such a way they invite you to a family event.

[–]juicy_carryeven 554 points555 points ago

How awesome of you. I just can't ignore bad parenting.

[–]Kellianne 228 points229 points ago

The only time I really hurt about not being able to have children is when I see stupid people like this with a busload of kids. I'd have been an awesome mom.

[–]t-rexatron 123 points124 points ago

That's a bummer that you can't have kids. I plan on not having biological ones because my mom dad's sides of the family are riddled with cancer and mental illness, and I don't want to do that to some poor kid. I do want to adopt someday though, have you considered that? There are lots of kids out there in need of awesome mom's and dads.

[–]aveline13 374 points375 points ago

some people should not have kids seriously.. what they think as an acceptable behavior just shows their ineptitude as parents..

on a lighter note this kid reminded me of Dudley..may he pop a tail

and yes you are an awesome person for showing them what's what

[–]lulu2788 35 points36 points ago

Good for you standing up to those people! Glad to hear you didn't get in trouble for it, it's always a sticky situation when it comes to doing something like that at your job.

[–]TheLiberalSoup 186 points187 points ago

this thread is making me hate kids so much.

[–]ANewAccountCreated 335 points336 points ago

Don't hate the kids. Hate the parents. That's the true source of the bullshit.

[–]abelbaker 278 points279 points ago

I have enough room in my heart to hate both parties.

[–]lulu2788 406 points407 points ago

At my job in high school these parents let their child run around like a maniac in the store while they did their shopping, at one point the kid, who was old enough to know better, picked up a large bottle of cologne and chucked it hard at a toddler aged kid. The toddler obviously started crying. Of course I found the boys parents and told them, they showed very little remorse, didn't even bother apologizing to the other parents, and most shocking of all, did not scold their son, at all. No wonder why that kid thinks it's okay to behave that way, it was the parents who ended up sickening me more though.

[–]FggyGggls[S] 184 points185 points ago

This reminds me of when my brother-in-law taught my 2 year old nephew how to 'play catch' which just turned into him throwing anything and everything at everyone.

It was a rough couple of years.

[–]thatfatguy481 338 points339 points ago*

There was a group little kids from down the street, every day would torment my dog by throwing rocks etc at him, and screaming running up and down the fence. One day after living there for years and them being a few years older and more bold now, decided it would be a good idea to stick his face against the fence and taunt my dog. Needless to say, my dog lost his shit and bit the kid once, was about a 1/4 inch below taking his eye out. He ran home crying. Cut to 30 mins later with cops and his dickhead father at my house demanding i destroy my dog. Had to put him up for a adoption. Family told me a friend on a farm had room for him, dont know if that was really true or if it was a bs kids story. To this day, i hate that little shit, and think he got only what he deserved.

EDIT just to answer a few who asked, no the kid didnt lose his eye, I am not very good at typing things. His wound was right below his eye, about a 1/4 higher and would have probably lost sight in it. Talked to my mother the took him to local shelter and had him put up for adoption, wether he made it though to a family or was put down, i dont know. And for those who are probably curious to the breed it was a lab/dalmation mix.

[–]anasztaizia 201 points202 points ago

This makes me so unbelievably mad. Growing up, I was taught you respect animals or they can and will fuck your shit up, and it will be your fault. The dog was on your property. He was defending his home. Little fucker deserved worse than he got.

Edit to clarify: little fucker = kid. I realize that this may not have been clear with my wording.

[–]Arvald 217 points218 points ago

i dont understand how you or the dog can be punished for this, since the dog was in your fenced off back yard.

[–]Zrk2 265 points266 points ago

You forget that people are stupid.

[–]Arvald 93 points94 points ago

a common mistake on my part.

[–]dudet24 545 points546 points ago*

A friend of mine lost her husband. It was the day of his funeral and we were in the car behind the hearse. Two kids (age 10-12) on bikes start riding along side our car look in the windows and start chanting some one died haha, some one died haha. I have never felt the urge to inflict pain on some one so much. Edit: spelling

[–]aowens717 284 points285 points ago

You should've swerved into them.

[–]HollowScope 740 points741 points ago

you got hit by a caaarrr, you got hit by a caaarrr

[–]mamamanda 37 points38 points ago

NEENER!!!!

[–]Tigerantilles 73 points74 points ago

That made my day. Thank you.

[–]RobAtticus 148 points149 points ago

Or, if they were close enough, just open the door

[–]nicesalamander 113 points114 points ago

then get out and beat the shit out of them?

[–]Neoko 642 points643 points ago

My friends and I were standing in the lunch queue at school. One of my friends parents died and that day was his first day back at school after weeks of absence. Most of the class was aware of what happened. This kid standing behind us noticed him and for no reason said "Haha your parents died." We then applied punches to his face.

[–]Dutch_Wilkerson 302 points303 points ago

Please tell me the teachers said "nothing happened" or at least "it was self defence"

[–]Dr_Merkwurdigliebe 36 points37 points ago

Or that when the teachers showed up there was miraculously no one in the entire room who saw a thing.

He ran into the door pretty hard, Mrs. Smith. Nothing else happened here.

[–]Scriptonaut 220 points221 points ago

I usually hate corruption, but this is one of the times where I'm ok with it.

[–]LeonardoFibonacci 65 points66 points ago

Punches: apply directly to the face.

[–]jdallas22 221 points222 points ago*

I could go on forever with my delinquent cousins... My cousin really wanted this specific skateboard for Christmas and he kept pestering his mom about it. His mom somehow put up with him and tried to play it off saying "I don't know we'll see on Christmas morning". Well, his brothers decided to get under his skin and they told him that their mom was saying that because she didn't get it for him. So, at Christmas eve dinner with the whole extended family around, my cousin says commandingly "Mom did you get me the skateboard or not!" and she said "You won't get anything if you keep acting spoiled!" So he yells back at her "Mom if you didn't get me that skateboard, then JUST GET ME A GUN SO I CAN FUCKING SHOOT YOU!!!" Merry Christmas to all.

tl;dr= cousin tells his mother on Christmas Eve he wants to shoot her

Edit: If you liked this one, I have another story about the same people that was just as bad here (our x-mas is routinely ruined by these kids): http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/oyxab/reddit_whats_the_most_spoiled_youve_ever_seen_a/

[–]PennyGremlin 136 points137 points ago

Please tell me he did not get a skateboard that year.

[–]jdallas22 57 points58 points ago

I wish I could tell you that the skateboard fought the good fight, and my cousin didn't get him. I wish I could tell you that - but Christmas is no fairy-tale world.

[–]idontknow10 49 points50 points ago

What the fuck? What did his mom do after that?

[–]i_have_a_name 63 points64 points ago

I would've taken all of that little shit's gifts and donated them to Toys for Tots.

[–]unrelevated 203 points204 points ago

One time i was eating with my parents and their friends, and their 2 or 3 year old kid just jumps out of his seat and starts running around the restaurant. 10 min later, our waitress brings the kid to the table, saying he almost burned himself on the stove, and the parents just said "oh, thanks" and continued their conversation, and let the kid run around again.

[–]Faranya 222 points223 points ago

A child will only burn themselves on the stove once. Especially a commercial restaurant stove...

[–]TehSexualNinja 91 points92 points ago

Every Christmas I head up to Boston to visit a friend while he's home from college, and his family always hosts a massive New Years party. There's this one family who brings this young child of theirs, I want to say maybe 10ish years old. Part of the party is spent playing Mario Party and Super Smash Bros on the Gamecube in the basement.

This most recent New Years my friend and i and a few others were playing Mario Party in the basement and this kid comes down and screams "I WANNA PLAY SUPER SMASH BROTHERS" and I said "Sure, after this game" and he yelled "NO! I WANNA PLAY NOW!!" We said tough luck and turned our heads back to our game. The kid proceeded to grab a pool cue and start screaming and whacking my friends face. He ended up with a black eye and multiple bruises.

After i wrestled the pool cue away from him, his drunk parents came down and after we explained the situation to them, they scolded me for being rough with their kid, and their kid got off Scot free because "he didn't know any better."

I don't care how old your child is. If he doesn't know any better, you're a bad parent.

[–]CorporalCauliflower 248 points249 points ago*

When I was 14, I saw a kid in my school strapping a firework to his kittens tail. I immediately ran over, ripped the firework off, and just as I did, I clenched my hand and it exploded in my hand, thus saving the cat. I then turned around, and while my hand was bleeding everywhere, beat the living shit out of the kid and grabbed the cat and took it home.

Edit: I had to get 16 fucking stitches in my hand cuz it was one of those really powerful crackers. I beat him with the hand it exploded in, and my doctor went back and forth between calling me a dumbass and a badass. Anyways, I saw him, Gleep the cat, and I remembered this story.

[–]Ian1732 76 points77 points ago

You win an Internet Medal of Honor.

[–]haloskulls117 19 points20 points ago

Holy Shit, This is probably the Best story on the Thread. I would do the same. And did you keep the cat for good?

[–]CorporalCauliflower 23 points24 points ago

Yes, in fact every night is a cuddle fest while I sleep.

[–]WellandOne 321 points322 points ago

I was swimming with my three year old son at the public pool. We were in the shallow end by the steps and he was tip toeing along to keep his head above water, when a wild ball appears. My son reached an arm out to touch it, still bouncing on the tippiest of toes when a snaggle toothed, weird shaped head nine year old pushed him down and under. I reached in and grabbed my son by the back of the neck as I was certain he would be swallowing water. I took a quick look around for a watching parent.. There was none, I proceeded to sweep the kids feet out from under him just as he was laughing about the ball hitting him in the head... successkid.jpg

[–]poolstorybro 527 points528 points ago

Pool story, bro.

[–]Meowmixmyanus 311 points312 points ago

My mom works at a barn just across from our house. It goes house, pasture full of horses, neighbors house, then barn. So one day, I simply look outside at the beautiful creatures only to find the neighbors kids, literally leaned over the gates, and slapping the horses across the face. Knowing my mom adores the horses, I went to her and said, "Mom. Little girls are slapping the horses." To which her response was this: "No their not!" Witness crime "OH MY GOD!" And then yelling "STOP SLAPPING MY FUCKING HORSES."

They didn't do it ever again. My moms a badass over here.

[–]momoninja 100 points101 points ago

i like your mom

[–]poopasaurus_rex 1011 points1012 points ago*

I was walking on the sidewalk in my neighborhood back to my house. As I was walking, I could hear a Mewwwwww sound coming from behind the bushes. It sounded like a desperate plea for help, and I went to investigate. Turns out, there was this little horribly kid, maybe around the age of 8 or so, kicking a pregnant cat in the belly (i think she was pregnant) and stepping on her tail. I was fucking furious. I immediately pulled the kid away from the cat and went to see if the cat was okay. If cats could cry, she looked like she was crying. The kid lived in my neighorhood, so I immediately took him to his parents and told them what he had done. They were also furious and grounded him. I went back to the cat and took her to the vet. Luckily she was okay, but I'm scared about what would have happened if I hadn't gotten there in time...

EDIT: Redditor AlphaEnder just sent me reddit gold! Everyone give him your upvotes!!

EDIT 2: Redditor RedSeven4 just sent me another month of Reddit gold! Give him your upvotes as well!!

[–]mauxly 531 points532 points ago

The neighborhood kids (small gang of about 6 kids, ages 8-12) locked my cat in a cellar and watched her slowly starve to death over the course of two weeks. I had fliers everywhere, I went door to door, desperate to find her. I was devastated when she went missing.

3 weeks later another kid came to my house and said he knew where my cat was, told me the story.

This was 20 years ago and it still breaks my heart to think about it.

[–]larsmaehlum 451 points452 points ago

So, you locked them in a basement, right?

[–]Johnobo 177 points178 points ago

that's the spirit

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]mamamanda 226 points227 points ago

Upvote for hitting her in the face with a rock. Being the age I am now, if I EVER saw someone do something like that...I would go to jail for a very, very long time.

[–]poopasaurus_rex 182 points183 points ago

WHAT THE FUCK. what the fuck. what the fuck is wrong with people................................

I had tears in my eyes from reading that. Fuck. I need to punch something now.

[–]finallycreatedaname 710 points711 points ago

I was waiting for you to say the parents were furious at you for touching their perfect angel.

[–]poopasaurus_rex 418 points419 points ago

I honestly thought that was going to happen. His parents have a reputation in the neighborhood for being snobs. But I guess they dislike animal cruelty as much as me.

[–]Snowleaf 502 points503 points ago*

I grew up in a rural neighborhood full of scumbags and drug addicts who made excuses for their feral children all the time, but they always backed down when it came to animal abuse. The biggest example that comes to my mind is when my parents owned a trailer park, and one day my dad was driving through the lot to check up on things, and saw a kid strapping fireworks to a kitten's back leg. He ran out of his car to help the cat, but the firework went off before he got there. My dad dragged the kid to his parents, who never took responsibility for anything the kid did (he was a known bully), and told them what happened, and surprisingly they immediately decreed that the kitten now belonged to my father, and that their kid would have to pay off the vet bill himself. They made him mow my dad's lawn for two summers to pay for the surgery the kitten needed. It was the only time I ever heard of his parents stepping in to correct his behavior. When it came to animals, almost all the people in the park had a soft heart.

(And yes, the kitten survived. He walks with a limp, but he's 14 years old now and still lives with my folks.)

[–]finallycreatedaname 173 points174 points ago

I am married but yet to have kids. I really hope I do not instantly side with my child and trust strangers at times when they point out he is being an ass.

[–]MobySick 115 points116 points ago

Just being worried about that possibility reduces your risk considerably, so there! You will take my upvote and like it!

[–]FairlyInconsistentRa 119 points120 points ago

Reading the few posts about some little shits causing pain to defenseless animals really makes me want to punch something.

[–]Kellianne 31 points32 points ago

Didn't I read somewhere that most sociopaths began their "careers" with animal cruelty?

[–]cptcliche 53 points54 points ago

It's refreshing to see that the parents were actually mad at the child's behavior rather than the "My little baby wouldn't do that!" attitude.

[–]Miyaserie 79 points80 points ago

I just want to say thank you for reacting the way you did. You potentially saved that cat's life.

[–]juicy_carryeven 84 points85 points ago

This makes me so furious. I could slap any child that hurts an animal without remorse.. then again, I'd just be hurting an animal...

[–]RawrToTheSauce 352 points353 points ago

A little kid was running around a grocery store with a pin and stabbing people. Yeah, spread aids boy.

[–]Faranya 285 points286 points ago

This reminds me of a story about a little kid who bit people at the grocery store. The storyteller was bitten hard enough to draw blood by a 6-8 year old, and proceeded to pretend to have AIDS.

Needless to say, the brat's mother was horrified at the possibilities.

I always enjoyed that story...

[–]Juneaus 494 points495 points ago

This one?

Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.

Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.

Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”

Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.

Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

[–]foolishscarz 166 points167 points ago

As bad as it is to inflict such a negative emotion on someone... AWESOME STORY bro

[–]Faranya 91 points92 points ago

I always thought it was a great lesson on why you don't let your children run fucking wild. If you don't care about other people, fine, but you are still putting your child at serious risk, which the woman in the story evidently cared about.

[–]seetons 117 points118 points ago

That's brilliant. Filing under my collection of "ways to react to very specific situation should they ever arise in my future".

[–]Boompockets 320 points321 points ago

I think if he stabbed you it would be within your legal rights to throw him into a rack of canned foods.

[–]EldritchCarrot 217 points218 points ago

I had the mental image of you throwing a child into a stack of cans, like some demented bowling alley. You made my day!

[–]7Pedazos 110 points111 points ago

I just heard bowling pins being knocked down as I envisioned a child flying into a stack of cans.

[–]EldritchCarrot 94 points95 points ago

Followed by the inevitable "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMY"!

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]PennyGremlin 143 points144 points ago

Hmm. You know, you would think if it happened the last time, the parents might have been courteous enough to inform the babysitter.

[–]FggyGggls[S] 90 points91 points ago

Jesus fucking christ! What a tweaked out kid.

I did laugh out loud at the image of a small child with their own arm coming out of their mouth though.

[–][deleted] 644 points645 points ago

I saw some kids, probably around ten or twelve years old, laughing it up in an alleyway I was walking down on my way back home one day. As I drew closer, the kids noticed me and scrammed. I came to the place where they kids had been "playing" and there was a kitten, twitching in its death throes. The kids had been throwing rocks at it.

Lost my hope for the future and humanity, right there.

[–]Desigos 488 points489 points ago

I'm fairly sure this is how serial killers are created.

[–]IchBinEinNerd 683 points684 points ago

I wrote a speech on this last year, and according to my research, I found that: According to a 1997 study done by Massachusetts SPCA and North Eastern University, animal abusers are 6 times more likely to commit violent crimes against people and 4 times more likely to commit property crimes than non animal-abusers. The FBI has recognized this connection since the 1970s, when it suggested that violent offenders have a history of serious and repeated animal cruelty in childhood and adolescence. The same goes for serial killers. The American Psychiatric Association considers animal cruelty to be one of the diagnostic criteria of conduct disorder.

[–]MobySick 379 points380 points ago

Studies also show that citing actual data in posts are 2-5 times more likely to be upvoted.

[–]Thats-Awkward 50 points51 points ago

This brought tears to my eyes. Stuff like this is what makes me bitter.

[–]FairlyInconsistentRa 46 points47 points ago

If i had have saw that, i'd have chased after the little sh*ts and caught them and called the police/rspca. animal cruelty is prosecutable in the UK.

[–]mausphart 133 points134 points ago

I was at the library when a family came in (teenage brother with several little sisters). The mother was obviously frazzled and stressed. The brother whined and complained the whole time they were there, a real shithead. When they were lined up to check out their books one of his sisters stood right in front of the counter. Her mouth was the exact height of the edge. The brother stood right behind her and shoved her hard against the counter. She smacked the crap out of her mouth and started crying. It took everything in me not to beat the crap out of that asshole.

[–]UnnamedArtist 237 points238 points ago

I was in grade 6 I believe. I had just lost my mom to a long battle of cancer. I was outside playing, when this kid and I start arguing. Something gets said, he replies with "Ya, well your mom looked at you and died."

At that he knew I was angry, he started to run away as fast as he could. I caught up to him, tackled him down, and then punched him until the teacher came and stopped us.

The teacher asked what happened, I told him what he had said. The teacher, understood and just wanted us to forget it. We did.

[–]vastly_overrated 42 points43 points ago

Reading what that kid said reminded me of what a bunch of kids at school said to me when I was seven.

"You're so ugly that when you were born your mum took one look at you and got rid of you." I am adopted.

Reading this thread reminds me that kids can be cruel, but often don't understand the consequences of what they say.

[–]PrincessSugarFairy 189 points190 points ago

When I was younger, my mom would visit her friend and take me along with her. Her friend's boys and the neighbor boy would get together and play. They were about 8-11 and I was much older than them, so I never really spent much time with them unless they went outside and I'd have to watch them. Anyway, one time we were outside and I was invited to join in a game of tag. The neighbor boy immediately takes protest to this.

He says "She can't play!" I ask him why and he replies "because you're a girl and girls are only good for sucking penises."

I was shocked. I wanted to throw this kid into the ditch, but something felt really off. I told my mom and her friend what he said and they were equally as shocked. We found out that he had also forced my mom's friend's children to participate in various sexual activities several times in the past. Anyway, we did some investigating and it turned out the kid had been being sexually abused by his uncle for the past five years. I have no idea what exactly happened to the kid, I stopped going over to visit, but I think his parents took legal action and got the kid some psychiatric help.

tl;dr: Kid tells me I can't play a game because I'm a girl and girls are only good for oral sex.

[–]Raminios 102 points103 points ago

In contrast to all the other stories, this was actually quite saddening rather than angering. The parents hadn't really done anything wrong bringing the child up, but rather some scummy pedophile stepped in later and ruined that poor child's (and successively the children that the child abused's) lives. Terrible.

[–]CallieBer 116 points117 points ago

I'm currently an au pair looking after three children. One day the middle child had a few friends over who were just leaving when I started my shift. I went upstairs and the girls room was a disaster, shit just ... Everywhere. I inform the girl that she must help me clean her room, being nice, I didn't even have to help. She threw a huge fit and started crying and when I asked her to hand me a pile of cards she kicked them and they went all over the room. I told her to pick those up for doing that and she stopped crying and stared at me with an intense fury and replied "Why should I? Isn't that your JOB?" with emphasis in tone on the job. She is 7.

I wanted to throw her down the stairs right then and there.

[–]RuinousMike 284 points285 points ago

Delivering a pizza and 3 white ~10 year old kids flip me off and scream at me calling me a nigger as I drive by.

[–]SomewhatMystia 139 points140 points ago

That's the point where you pull onto the (sidewalk/lawn/whatever) and run their asses down.

[–]MobySick 69 points70 points ago

Wish you had chased them in your car.

[–]zimmer199 305 points306 points ago

There was a teacher at my school who had a car accident. She was in the hospital for about three weeks until she died from her injuries. They called all of her students to the auditorium to inform them of her passing. Immediately after the announcement some little shit stood up, didn't even wait to be called on, and indignantly asked how this would affect her grade.

[–]FggyGggls[S] 151 points152 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]weekendofsound 171 points172 points ago

You know, the most fucked up thing about this to me is that this kid has probably been pushed so hard to care about their grades that they don't understand basic human emotion.

[–]tsahandjob 76 points77 points ago

well fuck you, if i don't get an A in grade 7 math im never gonna get a job

[–]Thats-Awkward 52 points53 points ago

That takes balls. What happened after that?

[–]zimmer199 82 points83 points ago

My friend started crying because of what she said. Most people seemed a little bit uneasy. Then everyone left and continued the school day.

[–]itseasymmmmmkay 144 points145 points ago

Thanks, Miss Granger...that'll be all.

[–]oogmar 293 points294 points ago*

This'll be buried, but what the heck, it's a fond memory.

Over the past couple of years, I've spent a lot of time on the Washington State Ferry system going from Anacortes to San Juan Island. Depending on the route, it can be anywhere from an hour and a half to three hours in an enclosed space (when it's cold out, screw being above decks) with several other people.

The particular ferry we were on that day was a two hour ride, and the then boyfriend and me went up to the lounge-y general area to take Team Nap, because we'd decided to walk on instead of drive.

This little kid, probably... 5 or 6 decided that all three of the racing arcade games on that level were HIS AND HIS ALONE. He would scream back to his parents for quarters, and they would dutifully walk across the ferry under the weighted glares of every other passenger to feed the little hellion more coins to stuff the machines with. One of the machines expired (by virtue of time) and a timid looking kid, maybe 12 came over and put his own quarters into the machine and sat down to play.

The little shit went ballistic. Flailing fists and teeth and tears and expletives, and the older kid just shrank away. I was finally about to stand up because, seriously, enough, when out of the corner of my eye I saw this straight-backed, button-up shirt wearing man in his 80s striding towards the two of them.

The man reaches the flailing crotchfruit, picks him up by the back of his pants and shirt, walks him over to the table where the parents are dazedly staring off into space, deposits said child firmly, face down, on the table and says calmly and clearly, "Deal with your child before I am tempted to deal with him further" and looked meaningfully to the double doors that lead to the edge of the boat.

That man is one of my heroes, and I hope to live long enough that it's socially acceptable for me to punish other peoples' kids.

[–]paroxysm11 96 points97 points ago

I hope to live long enough that it's socially acceptable for me to punish other peoples' kids.

Damn straight.

[–]Nowhere_Man_Forever 60 points61 points ago

I love old people. They don't give a shit because they don't have anything to lose.

[–]26piece 28 points29 points ago

flailing crotchfruit

[–]ElBagel 98 points99 points ago

I'm not very close to my family, but I went to visit them for a week in the summer. So my dad gives me some money to take my seven year old brother to gamestop to buy him whatever he wants. My dad had given me $60 for a new game, but when we got there, my brother said he wanted two. He told (not asked) me that I needed to buy him the other game. Me being a poor college student, I said sorry I can't. That's when he swipes his arm across an entire row of games so that they all fall on the floor. My brain was screaming WHAT THE FUCK, so I angrily told him to pick it all up. He refused saying that I made him do it. I had no fucking clue what to do. So I took his shoes and socks and told him I would throw them away and buy a game for the wrong console if he didn't pick the games up. And that's the day I learned that I'm not good with children.

[–]tintinsays 17 points18 points ago

How did you get his shoes and socks??

[–]fancytalk 312 points313 points ago

I used to be pretty heavily involved in volunteering for this after-school violin program in a mostly Hispanic neighboring town. The woman who ran it had a heart of gold and worked really hard to make it a really fun community program with the parents and siblings involved, so she threw a pool party that all the families were invited to every year at my parents' house. One very active student in the program brought his mother and two younger brothers. One of the brothers was probably in first grade or so and already had a horrible reputation as this awful hellion. He had been expelled from Kindergarten for throwing a tantrum and screaming curses at the teacher when she tried to calm him down. I heard it took several adults to drag him out of the room when it happened.

Anyway, at the pool party he was acting pretty normally until my friend who had offered to help lifeguard told him to stop splashing. To put this in context: my friend is black, from an "inner city" upbringing and came to my very white town to go to high school, so she is understandably a little race-conscious. So when this kid tells her "Don't tell me what to do, n*gger" (God, I can't even write it) she just bursts into tears.

We kicked the kid out of the pool and explained to her that he was just a tiny asshole but she was inconsolable for a long time. She was just trying to be nice and help out at a party, what a horrible child.

[–]Faranya 232 points233 points ago

That's when you hold him under until he stops splashing.

[–]rockerlkj 92 points93 points ago

Interesting and somehow slightly relevant fact. The Gaelic term for "Black People" is "Daoine Gorma", which translates literally as "Blue People"

[–]monkeiboi 22 points23 points ago

or until the bubbles stop coming up, whichever comes last

[–]halapi 165 points166 points ago

"That's not your spot, this isn't even your house, you don't belong here."

Dad's Girlfriend's kids when I was babysitting the little shits so they didn't have to go to their grandmothers house. It was the house my dad and girlfriend bought together. Wanted to smack them so hard.

[–]Ikirys 296 points297 points ago

You should follow them around and fart on everything they love.

[–]halapi 18 points19 points ago

They are no longer together and the point is moot! Woo! But really, farting is the best revenge.

[–]Ifuxdalion 1112 points1113 points ago

I was working at a grocery store, when I heard a little boy (5 maybe?) ask his mom to buy him one of those shitty little toys that seem to be everywhere. She calmly told him to put it back and he threw an absolute fit. She kept telling him to put the damn thing back and he finally screamed out "If dad was alive maybe you wouldn't be such a fucking bitch!"

There was a brief pause and you could see on the little bastard's face that he knew he fucked up. The woman backhanded this kid right across the face and knocked him into the shelf. Bottles of salad dressing went everywhere. She picked the screaming kid up and took him outside to her car, came back in and helped me clean up the mess, then finished shopping.

I wish more parents were as awesome as her.

[–]ShackedShark 496 points497 points ago

BEAST MODE ENGAGED

[–]grensley 154 points155 points ago

What kind of 5 year old has that vocabulary?

[–]35wes 447 points448 points ago

xbox live

[–]randibnyc 849 points850 points ago

I generally don't condone hitting children. I fucking condone this.

[–]yukidomaru 229 points230 points ago

This is probably going to seem minor in comparison to all the other comments I've read here, but here's my story.

When I was in 8th grade, they cancelled the school buses. My neighbor at the time happened to work at the school I went to, so she offered to drive me in. It was pretty cool at first, but her child was a little hellion. One time we were in the car together, and she called me a loser for liking books. I was just blown away that a 5 year old would try to insult me like that when I'd done nothing but be pleasant to her.

Her mom did nothing. She was pretty much a passive aggressive bitch though. She started to drop me off further and further away from the school, drop me off like 2 hours early, or drive past the school to drop her daughter off, which made me late for class. She'd also lock the car door on me, and refuse to let me out until I said thank you.

[–]cableman 164 points165 points ago*

What the everloving fuck? Locked you and refused to let you out until you thanked her? Makes me want to kick her face in, what a bitch... I can't believe someone would do that...

EDIT: Not sarcasm, people like that piss me off more than anything.

[–]mountaindont 158 points159 points ago

My step sister is 18 years old and hits her mom, screams, slams doors and breaks things when she gets upset (this is a daily occurrence). I recently told her that if she were to ever act that way towards me I would call the police. She told me she would just tell them that I had abused her and that they would believe her because she's a girl. Her mom has allowed the daughter to be in complete control of the household and to act like this ever since the daughter was 7 years old, when her father died unexpectedly

[–]HermyKermy 60 points61 points ago

I think we share the same sister. My 17 year old younger sis acts EXACTLY like this. And so does my mom, for that matter..

[–]mountaindont 42 points43 points ago

In my situation, the mother just cowers and continues enable the daughter's actions. This is a kid who has no friends, didn't graduate from high school because she was never made to do her homework (or chores, or anything else she doesn't want to do), and goes on these rampages for little to (most likely) no reason. I lost my job and my apartment and ended up having to move back in with my dad, who is now married to the mom. He hasn't been able to do anything to help the situation over the years so now he's either at work, at his cabin or in the basement smoking weed. It fucking sucks, man. Starts to make you feel like you're going crazy after a while

[–]eyix 121 points122 points ago

I once saw a mother and two children, a boy and girl both less than five. The children were bickering playfully when the boy said, "Oh yeah? Well DAD wanted an abortion!" The mother, playing on her phone, didn't say/do a thing.

I mean, what clearly happened was that the kids heard and quoted part of an argument, but still...

[–]HW90 124 points125 points ago

My 13 year old little brother tried to stab me

[–]mrs_slave 28 points29 points ago

I think you win, thirteens old enough to know better, he must be a real cunt.

[–]Arvald 117 points118 points ago

I wear kilts regularly, a few days ago i decided to walk up to the store while in my kilt. on the way there i had to pass an elementary school that was just getting out, and holy fucking shit, i wanted to smack this one group of 10 years olds, one of em starts trying to get in my face saying "why dont you put on some pants you fuckin gay fag" while all the other cunts in his group were yelling similar things, it took all of my willpower to not pick the little shit up and throw him under a bus.

[–][deleted] 139 points140 points ago

I could imagine a large, hairy kilted man brandishing a small child over his head and caber tossing the fucker under a bus.

[–]SomethingClepher 111 points112 points ago

I was at a Chinese New Year's party, and being the only teenager at the party (mom didn't trust me being alone in the house), I became best friends with the dog. There were also a bunch of little kids at the party, so a little boy wanted to play with the dog. His definition of 'play' was grabbing the dog's fur, gouging it's eyes, and yanking it's tail. The whole time he was laughing maniacally. Luckily for him, this dog was really shy and didn't kill the little shit. I told the kid to stop, and he didn't so I had to play keep the kid away from the dog for the rest of the night.

[–]Jessicahisamused 313 points314 points ago

I was babysitting my dad's ex girlfriend's (was a current at the time) niece, and I couldn't get her to behave (she'd call me crude names, was attempting to paint on the carpet of my dads living room and threw several tantrums) so I stuck her in time out in what i believed to be a relatively safe corner, next to the kitchen counter. When I turned my back, she stood up and grabbed the cordless phone off the counter, and threw it at me beaming me in the back.

I was so enraged I grabbed her by the shirt and dragged her to a different corner away from anything and everything she could grab, and left her there for three hours (every time she walked out of the corner I dragged her back)

T;DR Little girl chucked a phone at me.

[–]samurai_9 92 points93 points ago

Repetition of putting her back to where you wanted her to sit was exactly how you are supposed to handle a situation like that. Very well played.

[–]Thats-Awkward 134 points135 points ago

Nice work. :)

[–]ckim722 138 points139 points ago*

My sister is mentally disabled. She has severe scoliosis, and her face is disfigured because of her medication.

There have been instances of children in CHURCH teasing her and calling her ugly. My neighbor's bastardy little brother needed to tell me she was ugly for some goddamn reason.

Fucking hate kids.

Edit: "fuck kids" is for 4chan and spelling.

[–]dameon5 73 points74 points ago

I was at Target and a woman with two small children was pushing a cart. The youngest was maybe a year old and was riding in the seat. The older one was a girl, and couldn't have been more than 4 or 5.

The older one was hanging off the side of the cart. The mother, in a very soft motherly voice said. "Honey, could you not do that, it makes it very hard for mommy to push the cart."

The child looks up her mother with this total spawn of Satan look and says to her mother. "That's not true, you're just being a bitch!!!"

The mother just sort of shook her head and kept going.

I stopped in my tracks and had to compose myself for a minute. All I wanted to do was go smack that little girl in the mouth.

[–]ibelurkin 35 points36 points ago

I had just got off from a shitty day at work and was walking into Wal-Mart to get some groceries. All of a sudden this kid in his mothers arms reaches over and pinches the crap out of me. Normally I would have just kept walking but the kid was like six and his mom was carrying him like a baby, so I knew he knew better. I look down at my arm and there are nail marks that are turning red from where he was still holding on. I told the kid to let go and pushed his arm from me and his mother started cussing me out in Spanish telling me not to touch her baby.

I hate children...

[–]johnnyrogue 97 points98 points ago

I dated a girl who told me about her fucked up family all the time. When she was about 12 she was playing outside with her much younger brother and some younger cousins/neighbor kids. She was helping her brother walk when one of the kids came over, yanked down her top and fondled her left tit before she could even react. She went ballistic and asked what the fuck he thought he was doing, to which he just laughed and said he would do it again because "he liked boobies". She went to complain to all the parents involved who just said "oh it's natural for him to be curious! You're developing so boys are going to take interest in your chest!" I wanted to retroactively slap the piss out of them.

[–]novamaster0 28 points29 points ago

What's this honey? We seem to have been sued for sexual harassment...

[–]cookiesone 299 points300 points ago

Is this going to end with someone farting on a kids head?

[–]ChrisHansen_the_CB 359 points360 points ago

I used to work at a daycare. It was very satisfying to fart as the kids would follow me around leaving a bouquet of shit particles in their faces.

[–]dingod97 160 points161 points ago

wtf

[–]aowens717 132 points133 points ago

crop dusting kids. Epic

[–]locke314 98 points99 points ago

"boquet of shit particles"...

for some reason, i envisioned a "Sound of Music" style dance through a field of shit flowers....

[–]DarrenEdwards 159 points160 points ago

I'm slipping this in here for the few people that make it this far down the thread. I'm also going to go opposite with the instructions as well.

I was working at a 24 hour drug store in Denver in the mid 90's. There were a lot of Russian emigres that were living together close to the store. Every few days an entire group would do their shopping together. There were about 4 sets of older people and they entered the store, shopped and checked out together.

One of the sets brought their granddaughter. This adorable little girl had blond hair, a beautiful smile and bright blue eyes. If you saw her, you'd think, "if a kid ended up looking this cute, having kids wouldn't be so bad.

As each couple was rung up, this little girl translated everything. She communicated in English and I assume Russian between the grandparents and the checkers. This included handling the cash. She did this for everyone's shopping until they were all done.

[–]provaros 82 points83 points ago*

I was at a dog park and a kid was "playing" with my dog (e.g throwing rocks at her, slapping her etc.) and my dog naturally barked at the kid aggressively but didn't attack it or anything. After the kid brought her mom and she started yelling at me i put on my most sadistic-douchebag grin and told her "If your kid hurts my dog then I should make it tear your child to pieces" which is improbable cause I'm convinced my dog is mentally retarded but at that moment it looked pissed. The mom and the kid widened their eyes and left with out a word. Felt like a real asshole after that.

Edit: herp-a-derp english phrasing...

[–]boxofawesome 316 points317 points ago

This is only horrible because she was repeating what her parents said...

1st grader: I want to be white

Me: Why? You're perfect just how you are.

1st Grader: My mom says white people get whatever they want.

Me: Really? I guess that's why your mom is driving a Mercedes and I'm driving a rusted Escort.

[–]x86_64Ubuntu 217 points218 points ago

In the kids defense, you never stated you didn't want a rusted Escort.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]FggyGggls[S] 90 points91 points ago

The level of bitch depends on how old you both were.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]FggyGggls[S] 162 points163 points ago

Eight is old enough to know not to say shit like that.

Bitch lvl: 70.

[–]OccasionallyWitty 424 points425 points ago*

This late in the game this'll probably get buried, but what the hell, this is a fun story.

So, a number of years ago my family gets a knock on the door and it's one of my dad's deadbeat cousins standing on our doorstep with her four year old daughter. My family is fairly well off and on my dad's side of the family he's the only one who ever went anywhere, so we typically get a couple phonecalls a year asking for money or whatever. This is the first time one of them has showed up in person. Nobody knows how she got our address.

Anyway, she asks if she can stay with us for like a week, and my parents, put on the spot, agree because cousin and daughter have apparently been living out of their car for the last month or so.

Anyway, as time goes on it becomes apparent that cousin doesn't know how to handle daughter when she cries as daughter is a bit of a screamer/temper tantrum thrower. Thus she typically gets whatever she wants just because her mom doesn't want to deal with it. My parents were having none of that shit. So when daughter starts shrieking (including multiple times in public when we took them out to a nice dinner [the meatballs on her spaghetti were made of veal and not beef, god forbid] and bought them groceries [They didn't have the cereal she liked]) my parents would just tell her to calm down as screaming wasn't an effective method of getting her way.

Anyway, so one day during this week I was sitting around playing Final Fantasy 4 on the PS1 (Anthology collection. Came with Chrono Trigger. Boss.) and I'd been playing for maybe fifteen minutes when daughter comes in and says she wants to play. I told her that I'd only been playing for a few minutes but that if she wanted to go watch some TV for like a half hour I'd be happy to let her play all she wanted once I'd got a fair turn. She started crying and shrieking (including climbing up onto the couch so she could get her face right next to my ear and screaming as loud as she could). I told her that if that was the behavior she was going to use to get her way I wasn't going to let her play.

So she punted me as hard as she could in the spine and walked away. It hurt, but she was 4 so I didn't really think anything of it and thought it was the end of it. A few minutes later she came back looking all smiley but she was being quiet so I didn't bother talking to her. Finally, she asks me one more time if she can play and I tell her no, because her behavior earlier was unacceptable. From behind her back she pulls out my dad's weighty, lacquered ceramic ash tray which she then uses to beat me over the head until it breaks. I, bleeding with pointy bits of pottery sticking out of my head, go grab my parents. They eject the cousin from our house and take me to the hospital.

And that, friends, is why I'll never have children.

TL;DR: Bratty four year old caves in my skull

EDIT: It was Final Fantasy Chronicles, not Final Fantasy Anthology. Not important, but still a little important.

[–]Onironaute 114 points115 points ago

That is seriously fucked up. Wow.

[–]Thirdfanged 34 points35 points ago

How could you mistake chronicles for anthology...

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points ago

Because he had a traumatic brain injury, you dolt.

[–]MangleYourCabbage 54 points55 points ago

Anyone else's heart rate picking up and thinking "I WANT TO DESTROY THAT LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER" ?.

[–]RedDaggerx 110 points111 points ago

A six-year-old swearing. A lot. As in, every sentence she said had at least one cunt and fuck in it. I mean, come on.

[–]MSgtGunny 174 points175 points ago

I mean cunt fuck.

[–]PuppyBreath 106 points107 points ago

I worked at a bank that gave kids lollipops. I handed this boy one and he proceeds to open it. His dad says "Say thank you." and little cunt says "NO!" and his dad just smiles at me.

[–]MobySick 110 points111 points ago

Way to go "Dad." Can you imagine how fast your Dad would have pulled the candy out of your fat little fist if you had done the same?

[–]juicy_carryeven 32 points33 points ago

My dad probably would have pushed me outside and denied that I was his. But it would have kept me from doing it again.

[–]swiththeb 23 points24 points ago

I once witnessed a young boy screaming at his mother that he wanted sweets, and then repeatedly punching her in the breast until she gave in and bought him a cookie. What a brat.

[–]HereticAlpha 49 points50 points ago

My niece had been going through a phase where she believed she was just as big and strong as all the boys, so she began overcompensating by trying to act super-alpha and bully everyone.

She ended up punching a smaller kid in school- she knocked him to the ground, spit on him and broke his glasses. A teacher called me up (legal guardian of the child at the time) and informed me of what happened. I took the rest of the day from work and made a beeline for her school.

Now she starts adamantly saying that she didn't do it, that everyone else is lying, that nobody (including me) loves her, etc. After 10 minutes of wailing, the principle shows me a videotape of the beating- she looked like a damn animal. I literally groveled in front of the man, in his office, on my hands and knees to not expel my niece. He agreed for a week of in-school suspension... I asked if he would make it out-of-school.

So, I had her for a week. As soon as we got home, I begin taking EVERYTHING out of her room but a pillow. Everything- her TV, her dresser, her iPod and even her bookbag and door! For that entire week, she got only the clothes I brought to her that morning, ate alone in her room, and did her homework on a thin, wooden board I'd left for her in substitute of her desk- I'd look through her things to figure out what homework assignments she had and hand them to her one by one.

Three days of wailing was pretty intense- at first she disregarded my punishment, but I would physically lift her up and put her back in her room, not saying a word. I ask her "Do you hate this?" and when she said yes, I'd say "This is what it's like being bullied. This is how that little guy felt."

After a week, she went back to school and was a bit cold when I told her that she'd have to earn her things back by doing good deeds around the neighborhood and helping around the house.

To this day, my niece hasn't thrown a single punch against someone, or bullied someone else.

[–]Snuffz 84 points85 points ago

I don't have any stories but I will say this.

If you have a child who acts like a cunt in public, and when he/she does you just laugh it off, You are a terrible parent.

I hate when people don't discipline their children. I hate children in general but shit... Don't do that. Really annoys me when kids throw tantrums and break stuff and the parents just ignore it.

[–]the_black_cat 21 points22 points ago

I try my damnedest not to blame the child for being a stupid little shit, and put a bit of the blame on the parents.

The worst thing I've seen is a small child of not more than 7 years of age operating one of those stupid little child-sized shopping carts found in a select few department stores ram it going full tilt into both myself, and then sending a younger girl in her who was most likely in her teens sprawling on the ground.

That little bastard had the nerve to say "Dammit, you bitches got in my way."

Now, I'm usually pretty calm and collected- and it's taking every fibre of my being to stay this way. I tell him he's being a stupid little shit, and instruct him to watch where he was going, and to apologize to the girl who is now in tears. Cue the overprotective parent who runs up and tries to chew me out for swearing in front of her child.

I spent a few minutes telling both the stupid shit and his horrible trailer-trash excuse for a mother that they are the worst type of Darwinian nightmares that the human race could produce, and they should both be extremely late-term abortions.
Both the mother and the child left the store in tears, and I got a tearful thank you and hug from the teen before she ran off.

If my child EVER does something like that, they will get the shit beat out of them by myself.

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points ago

I used to teach preschool. We had one 4 year old boy named Clay who looked exactly like Chuckie who had no business whatsoever being around other children. One day he managed to turn on the hose and drenched me so completely that I had to drive home and change. He was notorious for stealing shoes and throwing them into the pool. But the worst thing he did was rip the spinner off of a Twister board and stab me in the stomach with it as hard as he could. I hated that little shit.

[–]NotLocke 21 points22 points ago

I came into this thread expecting to laugh at stories of spoiled little brats throwing tantrums in supermarkets. Instead I'm just really sad

[–]FairlyInconsistentRa 39 points40 points ago

I used to work at a fairly large supermarket on the bread and cakes section. One day, as i was working away minding myown business, there was a family deciding which birthday cake to buy. The girl picked up a boxed cake, then proceded to punch it very hard a few times, then put it back. Her mother didn't do a thing about it. The cake was totally wrecked and had to be binned.

[–]Liberalinthemidwest 16 points17 points ago

My cousin was fucking terrible as a kid. His mom had had four miscarriages before she had him, so she always treated him like an angel, no matter what he did. One weekend he stayed with my grandparents and they took him to a baseball game even though they didn't have much money. They bought him a bat with the team name on it because he begged for it and they always tried to spoil us as much as they could. Then he asked for a jersey, too, and they politely said no, they simply couldn't afford it. He then said to my grandpa, "Well I can just hit you in the head with this bat and take your wallet," with a shit-eating grin on his face. What he didn't remember is that my grandpa was a high school superintendent for nearly 40 years and doesn't take shit from anyone, especially bratty kids. Apparently my grandpa grabbed his arm, put him over his knee and spanked the shit out of him in front of everyone (I think my cousin was 12 or so at the time). They took him back to his parents' house and told my aunt that they'd let him visit again when he was more "well-mannered". I laugh every time I think about it.

[–]hotbutterpopcorn 160 points161 points ago

Anybody else misread the title as "What's the most horrible thing you've seen a child do/say for blood?"

[–]FggyGggls[S] 191 points192 points ago

This pleases me.

[–]jlevin18 50 points51 points ago

My roomate has a large family and one of his young sisers, Sally Ann, who is currently 12 years old, is pure evil. When she was about two or three years old she threatened to kill my roomate John, who then responded that she couldn't do that. She said "I could if I had a stick with fire at the end of it".

[–]juicy_carryeven 62 points63 points ago

A bunch of my hooping (hula hoop) friends and I were performing at a fundraiser for a no-kill animal shelter, and this little shit kept running in between us and then yelling at us when he got hit by a hoop. Then he starts slamming my friends $200 LED hoop on the ground while his mom sat on her fat ass watching the little shit. He then followed us outside and broke my friends cigarette. I can't say I tried to avoid smacking him in the face with a hoop when he got too close.

We also let the kids play with our cheaper and impossible to break hoops and he would grab all of them and hog them until one of the little girls cried..what a little asshole.

[–]Sylvatica 537 points538 points ago*

I have an evil twisted, and manipulative little 8 year old cousin. One day she comes with her mother to tea at my mom's place, where my mom lives alone. My cousin came up to me with a cute smile, acting innocent and asks me "Are your parents divorced?", I answered "Yeh they are (slight sad tone) Howcome you ask?", she replied "Well you see, MY parents are married, and they will never ever get a divorce because they love me, and parents who get divorced don't love their children really." Then she smiled in an evil bitchy way and walked off. I'm a young adult so that didn't affect me, but the first thing I thought was what if she's been saying that to other little kids in her school? That is just pure. fucking. evil! Also, same cousin: I got a nice new pair of baggy silky cherry-blossom print pajama pants and was busy working at my laptop at my moms place. My cousin comes and demands that I draw something for her (I'm an animator) then I told her I was busy. Then she said to me "Those are really nice pants." and I thanked her, they were a gift from my mom, and then she skips off, proceeds to fetch prestic (blue tack, that sticky gum stuff, whatever you call it) from somewhere, sneak back quietly and starts silently rubbing it into the fabric of my new pants. I asked what she was doing and she had a huge evil grin, and that was the first time I have ever shouted at someone else's child. No regrets. TL;DR evil little cousin indirectly told me my parents don't love me, and tried to destroy my new pj's when I didn't obey her command.

Edit: Using a brisk slap on a child's legs/butt when caught in the naughty act (and not stopping when told to) is ok when it comes to your own kid (more to give them a sting and a fright than any actual pain), but the people who keep saying they would "beat the shit out of her", "deck her", and other assortments of brutally violent behaviour; what is wrong with you? Abused children will abuse others in turn, it's not going to help anybody, Jebus Christ people.

[–]bmoviescreamqueen 77 points78 points ago

Do her parents thinks she's the most perfect little girl ever?

[–]Sylvatica 85 points86 points ago

Yes. I think they do ಠ_ಠ

[–]bmoviescreamqueen 87 points88 points ago

They are part of the problem.

[–]Thats-Awkward 20 points21 points ago

They're most of the problem. They spawned the damn thing.

[–]freakindirt1234 137 points138 points ago

My 9-year-old cousin is similarly disturbed. He would never go so far as implying that my parents didn't love me, but he is a classic, Grade-A douchebag-in-training. My uncle was always an asshat, and apparently it rubbed off on him, because he never misses the chance to both insult me, and corrupt my little brothers (who look at him like an idol). It's like he doesn't grasp the concept of common decency, which boggles my mind. Last time I was with him, at Christmas, I had to watch him and his sister in the basement, while they played around with my little brothers. To sum up, the kid picked up a heavy, cast-iron ornament and threw it in the general direction of my head, with a giant, maniacal smile on his face, while my brothers were sitting on the couch, wide-eyed and a bit confused. Also, his sister is pretty much the same as him, and was in the process of looking for her own missiles, laughing while she did it. It took every ounce of my wherewithal to not just beat the ever-loving hell out of them for attempting something like that.

[–]k2cougar 85 points86 points ago

I found the best way to deal with these kinds of kids is to treat them like just that. kids.

Ask her about her dolls or about her favorite cartoons, things like that. Pretend shes 4-5 years younger than she really is and talk to her that way, just for lulz

[–]Thats-Awkward 222 points223 points ago*

Wow, what a fucking brat. If she was my sister, I would have smacked her.

[–]paranode 145 points146 points ago

Then the parents. Kids don't come up with that kind of shit on their own.

[–]Sylvatica 119 points120 points ago

This one is special. Her parents are pretty cool people. I think she contemplates how to make people feel like shit for a hobby. And she never does/says these thing in front of her parents.

[–]Damasticator 126 points127 points ago

My experience in elementary schools has taught me one valuable lesson: sometimes kids really are just fucking evil, despite what their parents teach them. The sad part is a lot of times they are the really smart ones.

[–]pirate_doug 65 points66 points ago

The smart ones are just better at hiding it from the right people, so they get away with it longer.

[–]TheLittleTeaPot 33 points34 points ago

Someone I go to school with passed his driving test the other day, and since then he thinks he's the fucking transporter, talking about how fast he can drive, and "cool" things he's done. Anyway he started boasting about how he was doing 75MPH past a school, and I told him that was a dick move, he replied "Well it's more humane to hit a child at 60 than at 30" ... I got so riled up I punched that fool off his chair.

[–]RosieJo 118 points119 points ago

I have acne, children are always saying how disgusting my face looks. It makes me sad because kids never lie.

[–]fumacious 156 points157 points ago

Yes, but you should remember kids also think kissing and beer are disgusting. Also kids lie all the time.

[–]RosieJo 32 points33 points ago

Yeah, but never to stop peoples feelings from being hurt. They only ever lie for personal gain.

[–]7Pedazos 50 points51 points ago

I know kids never lie because a kid told me - and kids never lie.

[–]haylizz 257 points258 points ago

i'm quick to forgive kids, because 90% of the time they really don't grasp what they're saying or just express and idea with the absolutely wrong words, but this just killed me. My little brother came up to me one day and asked "why don't you cometo church with us anymore? It's a lot of fun." This was probably the most uncomfortable moment of my life, but I decided lying was the worst thing to do. "Well," I said, "I don't believe in god, so I wouldn't feel right going to church, even if was a lot of fun." My brother seemed confused for a moment and replied with "you don't believe in god? Then you're not a part of our family." Needless to say, I was appalled. I decided to try and let it go and not get my dad involved (he was/is unaware of my atheism and it wouldn't have gone over well.) Later on that day, my brother came into my room, teary-eyed, and apologized, explaining he didn't mean it.

[–]FggyGggls[S] 253 points254 points ago

At least he realized that he went full retard on your feelings.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points ago

Happy endings! =D

[–]rhymeswithbanana 44 points45 points ago

Repeatedly dump a cat into a kiddie pool and gleefully clap as she struggled and clawed to get out (which she always managed to do within about 30 seconds or so). After she escaped, he'd just catch her again and throw her right back in.

[–]Snuffz 18 points19 points ago

Should have done the same to the kid. See how he liked it...