Reddit, what is your worst walk of shame story?

ostertagpa · 3 months

After probably a year reading reddit, this is the post that led me to register. sigh

Two years ago, I was at the beach and had gone out solo. At one of the bars, I hit it off with a girl who was there with a girlfriend who had also met a guy. After closing time, the four of us go back to their place, and I vaguely remember going for a swim. I also vaguely remember going skinny dipping. The next thing I know, I wake up in this girl's bed. The only possessions I have are my hotel room key, my credit card, and my sandals. I'm wearing a pair of her shorts. You know, short shots, not like long basketball player shorts. We briefly searched the beach for my clothes but to no avail. And I'm almost 60 blocks from my hotel. There's a bus, but I can't get money out of the ATM with my card because it's all bent up. So I proceeded to walk the main drag, which was eight lanes, at 11 am. Much to my surprise, after about 30 blocks i happen upon a branch office of my bank and was able to get money out. Still, then I had to ride the bus for 30 blocks. Again, in nothing but sandals and little skimpy shorts.

TL;DR: walked 30 blocks of an eight-lane street in nothing but sandals and women's shorts.

Xylotol · 3 months

Last Halloween I went out dressed as Austin Powers, blue suede suit and all, and ended up blind drunk and blacked out most of the evening. Awoke about 8am the morning after next to a slutty policewoman in a flat I did not recognise. Looked out the window and realised it was in a halls of residence on my university campus. After some fairly awkward conversation while I tried to find my clothes/dignity I realised that I had a calculus test at 9 when I saw someone on my course going past on the street below the window. I ran through the campus in full Austin get up and sat down in a packed lecture theatre reeking of alcohol and receiving many a dirty look. Borrowed a pen off my mate and got a fucking 93 on that test. It's the stride of pride, not a walk of shame after that glorious day.

sh0em0nkey · 3 months

Partied it out with a girl while her parents were away for the night. Drugs, alcohol, and multiple sessions. It was about 8 in the morning when were were gonna go at it again. Girl starts blowing me, but the effects of drugs, alcohol, and no sleep kicked in, and we ended up passing out at relatively the same time. My dick in her mouth and everything.

A few hours later, her parents arrive. It was really awkward to wake up to an angry dad with my penis in his daughters mouth. Had to find my shoes and personal affects, all the while he's standing there, and she's just sitting there. Walking down those stairs from her room and out the door sucked so bad. I was afraid he was going to start something at any given time.

Besides that, it ended up going well. We ended up in a relationship for almost a year. Her dad even began to like me. Before we broke up, he was offering help to get my teeth fixed (he was a dentist with a good practice and reputation).

TL;DR: Passed out mid blowjob and awoke to angry parents, my penis still in her mouth. Went better than expected.

Edit: grammar

Dack9 · 3 months

Is it shameful if I don't remember it?

Friends say they know a great beach we can camp on, secluded, out of the way, etc. Turns out it requires a 2 mile walk along a popular trail that starts in the city, and then you do a mountain goat impression 200ft down a clay cliff. I bring a cooler with 8 liters of home-brewed wine.

Drinking. Nakedness. Drinking. Marshmallow roasting. Drinking. ???. Drinking. 5:30AM: time to go home... Let me paint you a picture.

My girlfriend is cute as ever, well put together, same as she always is. She is walking our dog, who is adorable and behaving well and is petted by some of the 20-30 joggers and cyclists that pass by.

Following closely behind is a man who has obviously fallen on hard times. He is wearing only boxer briefs, an unbuttoned flecktarn german army jacket, and a boot on his left foot. 75% of him is caked in a thick layer of clay. He is struggling with a limp caused by wearing 1 boot, and falling down the 200 foot tall embankment. Twice. He is balancing a very large cooler on his head. He has either a grin or a concussion , but the clay makes it hard to tell.

This man is me. From what I've been told, my only regret is that I was too hammered the next morning to remember the looks I was getting.

tl;dr 20-30 early morning joggers/cyclists saw an indecent zombie with a cooler on its head limping after a girl trying to walk her dog; and didn't even call the police.

hwaneu · 3 months

Walking home, which including going through a busy shopping centre, at 2pm, dressed as a slutty pirate.

lesbillionare · 3 months

I went to a "Wizards and Sluts" party once, and decided to go as "Whoremione Granger" to incorporate both themes. I went all out and got this skanky Hogwarts costume and wore like a pound of makeup and giant heels. After a night that included a handle of absinthe and a lot of vomiting, I rose from the floor of my friend's house and began to stagger home.

Here I am at like 10:30AM on a Sunday walking back to my apartment with vom in my hair and my makeup smeared wearing this slutty Hogwarts uniform, huge sunglasses on my face and a cigarette hanging out my mouth, when all of a sudden my professor rounds the corner with his pretty wife and new baby in a stroller. As soon as he recognized me, I fucking died. I had to explain the premise of a Wizards and Sluts party to my professor.

propheta · 3 months

Walking home in one of those short American Apparel dresses and stiletto heels, through campus on move in day for incoming freshmen with my neck purple from hickeys. In my defense, I forgot it was move in day and just thought the campus would be deserted...instead, I gave parents a vision of their daughters' future.

martlet1 · 3 months

I had been in Memphis drinking at a wedding reception, with my ex brother in law and 2 of his friends from Poland who were apparently professional drinkers. The next morning we all kind of stumbled in to a Denny's resturant wearing the same clothes from the previous night.

There were several families in the resturant that had just came from Church. One of the little kids at the next table told his dad that it looked like we had more fun at church than they did. One of the polish guys got pissed and said "Our church has strippers and vodka, your mom should stop by."

BizarroFrisbee3000 · 3 months

In college, I went to a Halloween party dressed as Abe Lincoln, and won second place in the costume contest (I am quite tall.) Awesome right? Except for the prize was hard liquor. This was Freshman year, and although I can hold my booze pretty well, this put it over the edge. I wound up throwing up in my hat, and on myself. The next morning, my friend parks her car in the nearest garage, and I walked the 4 blocks to my dorm. As Abe Lincoln. With hurl down the front of my pants.

LittleMissP · 3 months

While at university, my rugby team went on a "dress as your nan" pub crawl. One of the girls wore a flannelette nightie, slippers and a shower cap. Not entirely sure where the shower cap came in, but it looked good so she went with it. Anyway, on said pub crawl she hooked up with a guy she'd got a regular hook up thing going on with, and went back to his. Next morning she asks him for some trackies to wear home, he says no - he thinks it would be much funnier for her to go home in what she arrived wearing. She shrugs, and walks home in her nightie, slippers and shower cap. We asked why she was still wearing the shower cap, she said it completed the outfit.

stroganawful · 3 months

Always pack a business suit. That way, you can change into it and always have a WALK OF EXCELLENCE.

marley88 · 3 months

We call it the stride of pride. Why should it be shameful?!

employeenumber8 · 3 months

Girl ended up peeing on me while we were asleep, so I ended up having to wear her ex-boyfriends US Navy sweatpants which were 6 sizes too small. They had the super bunchy bottom elastic band which pulled up over my socks to guarantee the look was extra horrible and noticeable. Dress shirt + dress shoes + tight high water navy sweatpants while taking the train home = embarrassing and stare-inducing ride home

Boston_TD_Party · 3 months

This is my best from a few years back. It was the late fall and few of my friends just moved to a suburb of Boston. They rented a party bus for the weekend. I decided to skip the party bus ride into the city, but met them all out at the club. VIP room, bottle service, partying hard…..

Bam…. I wake up, head pounding, not quite sure what is going on. I look around, I’m lying on a padded bench. I realize I am in a public restroom. Nobody around. I take a quick inventory of my belongings. Shoes, check. Socks, missing. Pants, soaking wet, muddy, and on the ground, but still there. T-Shirt, check. $60 button down shirt, missing. Wallet, check. Debit Card, Missing. Cellphone, battery dead but still in one piece.

I scramble gather my things, putting back on all of my soaking wet clothes, thinking to myself, this is not good, I need to get home. Clothed in tattered, muddy wet clothes I bolt for the door totally unprepared for what I see next. As I open the door a whistle blows. I look up to see an entire youth hockey team looking at me. It takes moment to process, but I realize I am in a Hockey Rink. Confused, wet, muddy and hung-over I put my head down and run to the nearest exit.

I exit the rink, I have no idea where I am, but I need to keep moving. Do I go left or right? I go left. I have no money, my phone is dead. I can’t call anyone, I can’t get a Cab. For the next 2 hours I walk aimlessly trying to find a landmark I recognize. I finally find a street I know and make it back to my apartment.

It took me some time to piece together the events of that night. From what I can tell, I took the Party bus back out to my friends place. Tried to walk home without a jacket on a cold night. Went for a short cut through the woods. Then fell in some sort of muddy stream / swamp. I figure I probably thought I was going to freeze to death unless I stripped off my wet clothes. Stripped off the button down and wet socks. Then still freezing came upon a hockey rink. Climbed in the window and tried to warm up in the bathroom, where I passed out. The next day in my hung-over haze I took a left out of the rink and walked several miles out of the way completing a full circle, where if I had gone right I would have only had to walk about a mile to my place.

Tl;Dr: Blacked out, Woke up in Hockey Rink during youth hockey practice, soaking wet and muddy. Ran out of there, took a wrong turn walked around all banged up for a few hours on a Sunday morning. Brutal.

aubreya24 · 3 months

I have to share my friend's:

So she went to the bar with another friend and they both got pretty drunk. There were two of them, and two guys approached them. They hit it off and the guys asked the girls to come back with them. The guys pulled into a sleazy motel trying to get a room, and the girls refused. The particular friend I'm talking about and her "guy" decided that they were going back to his place.

At this point it was about 3am and she had told him that she didn't want to be "that girl" and show up as a random stranger in front of his roommates (a married couple with small child - hense the attempt at the motel room). He assured her it was okay and that no one would be awake. They walked in and mom and baby had gone to sleep, but "dad" had a group of about 6-8 friends over. She awkwardly followed him to his room. They did their business and she said that he wouldn't even look at her. After they were ahem done with business, he told her to go so he could get sleep... without having attended to her needs. From what she said, she thought he was partially joking and made a comment about it, to which he replied "it's not like I'm ever going to see you again", which regardless of being true or not was a really shitty thing to say to someone you pretty much just used... she asked him to at least help walk her out, to which he also refused. He made her walk out by herself, after she said she was uncomfortable with being seen by roommates, and of course, she took her walk of shame (and humiliation) right past mom changing baby's daiper.

We have been trying to convince said friend to stop going home with losers she meets at the bar when she gets drunk for a while now. I think she finally learned the lesson the hard way.

Thefelix01 · 3 months

I had to take a bus back to the french town I was working in the next morning dressed as Jesus, complete with a 6 foot wooden cross and everything. I got some strange looks and ended up making front page on the (very) local newspaper.

away8907 · 3 months

It was early summer 2009, and a few of my new military buddies and I decided to go to Virginia Beach for the weekend. After a night at the beach, and a short bar crawl, we head back to the apartment we had rented to crash out. While looking out the window, I notice a 7-Eleven and was struck with a serious pang of drunk munchies.

I tell the guys that I'm gonna head over and get some snacks, ask if anyone wanted anything, and head out. Once inside, I decided on an Italian sub sandwich and a slim jim, which it turns out, I didn't have the money to pay for. As I'm standing in line realizing this, an INSANELY cute older chick walks up behind me, and I turn on the charm to try and get her to buy me a slim jim.

A couple minutes later, We're leaving the store. She's not only bought my slim jim, but told me that she's a bartender about to walk 8 blocks home after work. Me being the plastered, semi-chivalrous, horny, grateful (FUCK YEAH SLIM JIMS), gentleman I am; offered to escort her home, as it's dangerous for a pretty lady to walk home alone so late.

I accepted no refusal, and we began walking. Most of the conversational details escape me, but I do remember stopping about halfway to make out on the sidewalk as well as take a few pictures of her ass (both in jeans, and nude).

We eventually make it to her apartment, where she tells me she has a kid asleep inside, so we decided to bang on her back porch. After finishing inside her, exchanging phone numbers we both knew would never be called, and bidding her good evening, I began the 40 minute walk back to the beach.

It was about this time my dick started itching like crazy, and I noticed that walking a few miles in dry swim trunks chafes the shit out of your junk. I soldiered on though, only to find that the magnet in my blackberry had erased my room key. I said fuck it, not wanting to wake up everyone in the apartment, and went to eat my sandwich on the beach, and watch the sun rise over the ocean.

This was beautiful, despite the dick itch, which was near unbearable at this point.

After the sun was up, it began to rain, so I decided to sleep in my car outside the apartment. It turns out the apartment next to ours WASNT owned by the hotel, and had a family with a few kids. Their parents apparently didn't like the naked guy sleeping in a car in the alley, so I was woken up by police telling me to put some fucking pants on. As I tried my hardest to resist scratching my nuts off in front of them.

At this point, one of my friends came out for a cigarette, and began SCREAMING at me, because they all thought I had been murdered. Having forgotten to tell anyone I was leaving with the girl, I guess they realized it doesn't take 6 hours to go get a snack across the street. We all went home, and I never heard the end of the jokes.

tl;dr : Met a girl at a gas station, banged on her porch, probably fathered a kid, got crabs, walked home half naked past an entire town's morning commute, solemnly watched the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean, narrowly avoided arrest for public indecency, got my ass kicked by a friend for being inconsiderate, and didn't regret a minute of it.

captainhamster · 3 months

Not entirely a walk of shame/stride of pride story but:

New Years Day 2010 I groggily woke up lying on the floor in the living room of a flat I´d never been to before. I was naked, cold, and hungover. I couldn´t remember much from the night before, just brief flashbacks of an event or two (I usually remember little when I´ve been drinking). I hazily stumbled around the den until I found my shoes, but nothing else. I put my shoes on for good measure (I really was cold, it was January now after all), and started carefully exploring where I was. It was tough to balance what was more important: shouting and being loud to see if anybody was home, so that I could find out where the hell I was, or carefully sneaking around so as not to be discovered wearing nought but shoes. Eventually I find an open bedroom door and peek in: there´s a blonde girl huddled under a blanket, snoring lightly. The room´s dark so I couldn´t make out too much, and this is where the questions pop in my head: Did I go home with this girl last night? Who is she? Should I ask her? What if she doesn´t know me? What if I scare the hell out of her?

After a minute or two of pondering the matter I decide to carefully wake her up, hoping the darkness in the room will hide my nudity. She stirs and wakes up, confused at first, but when her eyes adjust a bit and sees who I am she looks even more confused, and then angry. She starts shouting at me and I can´t understand what she´s saying. I realise she´s shouting in Swedish. I speak Swedish, but I distinctly remember being in the Netherlands at that time and place, and thus it takes me a while to follow. During the minute or two it takes for this to down on me she girl keeps shouting and gesturing wildly. I´m looking across the room and can see boxers, trousers, and a shirt. I start to realise what she´s shouting: ´Where the fuck did you go? What are you still doing here? Why did you come back? I thought you left me? You are such an arse! You can´t do something like that and then just leave! Take your things and get the fuck out!´.... I´m gathering my cothes as this verbal assault is launched against me and I´m miserable, I have an earsplitting headache and I´m not quite sure what I did yet... It must have been quite an amusing sight as I was clumsily struggling to put my things on (trousers over shoes is difficult!) and GTFO. The moment my trousers and shirt are one I get the hell out of her room, finding my coat lazily thrown on the floor in front of the entrance. I flee the apartment like a bat out of hell, lucky that I at least have my keys and phone in my coat. I´m leaving the building as I see a lot of missed calls on my phone but no messages. I don´t recognise where I am so I simply start walking until I find a place I recognise (the town isn´t too big, but sizeable). It takes me a long time to get home, the whole extent of which I spend trying to remember what the hell went on last night. To this day I still don´t know who the girl was, what I did, nor what else happened the night before, and my drunken friends were sadly none the wiser. I still think of it from time to time.

turingtested · 3 months

I woke up with a dude who had spent the night alternately crying because he missed his parents and Boston, and then biting me. He had an extremely large penis, so I just ignored the crying, chalking it up to too much alcohol and the stress of freshman year. Anyway, he ordered me out of his room so he can go to Chicago, so I put on my clothes, and stumbled back to my dorm. Lunch was getting out and plenty of people saw me, but that's not the bad part.

I curled up in the common room and put on some dumb TV. People are kind of smirking at me, but I just think it's my pitiful walk of shame state. My roommate Jen came down, and her eyes got huge. "Turing! Why are you sitting around in puke covered clothes? Did you know you have like 80 hickeys?"

I did not. I had been marinating in big dicked emo puke for roughly an hour at that point.

turtleisdisappointed · 3 months

At university, intoxicated one night, I somehow got mixed up in a bisexual threesome. Some truly awful shit happened that night so I thought it best to leave and never think of the experience again. Only after I had left did I realise that I left both my shoes and my keys at the aforementioned flat so I had to call security to let me into my flat. It was the most awkward walk back to my room with that guy because earlier we all went to the reception area where he worked looking for free condoms. He knew.

thricetrio · 3 months

Partied really hard one night. Decide to walk home, my buddy thinks I should stay at his place but my house is 1.5 mi away so I think I can make it. Start the trek home, get probably .1 mi, decide I'm tired, laydown in front yard, pass out. Wake up around 7:30 A.M. to a beautiful day.

I also wake up to 2 police cars, 1 fire truck, and 1 ambulance. The officer is walking towards me, so I get/stumble up and walk towards them and ask if there is anything I can do to help them. They inform me that they are there for me and that the owner of the house called to police because they thought I was dead in their front yard.

I proceed to explain that I am, in fact, not dead. They agree. They start to hassle me, check my i.d., I'm barely 21, so they let me walk home with just a verbal warning. Not sure how I got away with it.

As I start to walk the firemen on the fire truck are laughing hysterically and pointing right at me. So I give them the yeah, yeah, I'm a fucking idot wave, with my head down...and this is when I notice.

I fucking pissed my khaki shorts. They had all seen it and probably let me go because the embarrassment was punishment enough. So I have to walk the rest of the way home in pissed in pants.

TL;DR - Pissed myself in front of police officers, firemen, and EMT's

Militant_Penguin · 3 months

[deleted]

Rcrs382 · 3 months

Had sex for the first time with my now 2 year girlfriend but hadnt met her parents yet. we went to her house that night, got slaphappy for about 5 hours and in the morning i had to leave for work but i didnt wanna wake her so i just let myself out. her stepdad is a war vet and was having his monthly saturday morning vets breakfast at his house. i had to make me way out of enemy lines like i was in nam. He asked if I slept well before I left out the door and I said yes sir, he said only this "I didnt, someone kept me up"

ProtimoiDelt · 3 months

Passed out at the party house on campus after getting obliterated, but had to wake up early to prepare for an event my frat was hosting. Somehow managed to set my alarm and wake up at 6am. Drove to walmart to pick up some supplies and was getting stares from everyone. I figured I must look super hungover and just kinda shrugged it off. Once i got back to my house I went to get ready and finally saw myself in the mirror. Dicks and shit drawn all over my face. Can't believe I walked all around walmart without anyone saying anything.

100octane · 3 months

It 2 years ago the morning of Halloween. I proceeded to emerge from my slumber dressed as a redneck lying next to a female "race car driver." on the other side of the room there was a pirate,a lady bug, a chicken, 2 cops and a flight attendant. look down to see broken condom on Fuck.jpg proceed to wake up the race car driver and say "we gotta make a stop" i pack out my truck with all of these characters and headed to Wal-Mart for some Plan B. In walks a parade of drunk / hung over 20 somethings wel walk to the isle obtain the package and walk back outside. one person says "lets get Ihop" so we did. so there we sat; a redneck, a race car driver, a pirate,a lady bug, a chicken, 2 cops and a flight attendant all barely able to hold down plates of pancakes / french toast/ and eggs.

Tl;Dr: Picked up Plan B from Wal-Mart and went to IHop with a redneck, a race car driver, a pirate, a lady bug, a chicken, 2 cops and a flight attendant

Edit: Heres an image of me with the chicken http://i.imgur.com/3eWI0.jpg

Immynimmy · 3 months

I remember a few months ago I was in Macy's and this really cute girl was helping me find a shirt I was looking for in my size. She was really nice and everything seemed to be going cool. After about 2-3 minutes of small talk, I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime and she replied something along the lines of "I'm really not interested in being in a relationship at the moment". I mean I wasn't planning on marrying her, but whatever. At this point, things were still cool. She rung me up and even though I got denied, I figured, no big deal life goes on.

I decided before I left I would look around a little bit. As I was walking from one section to another, I spotted her again. She briefly looked at me and just started bursting into laughter. I mean like she had to cover her mouth as she passed me because I was so pathetic or something. Jesus, my heart just sank right to my nutsack just writing this

EDIT: I thought it was kinda related to a walk of shame. I mean it certainly felt that way.

MisterDiamond · 3 months

[deleted]

flohammed_albroseph · 3 months

Not me, but when I was a senior in high school I participated in this History Jeopardy tournament that every class did. I wound up winning the spot for my class, and eventually went on to face the Valedictorian of our class in the finals. I beat the shit out of her, but when the announcer mistakenly told the audience that the Valedictorian won, she jumped out of her seat and screamed, "YESSS!!!!!!! I TOLD YOU I'D BEAT YOU!!!" The announcer then realized her mistake, and awarded me the victory. The Valedictorian then had to walk out of the auditorium while everyone laughed at her.

swaggervance · 3 months

This walk of shame was only about 25 feet in total, but still shameful. So the new lady friend and I have sex for the first time in my dorm room, and we start wrestling around while getting re-dressed. I pretend i'm going to throw her out of the room, and she grabs my arm and pulls both of us out of the room, allowing the door to lock behind us. i'm in my boxers, and she's fully clothed but all of her belongings are in the room. she has a meeting in 20 minutes so she needs her shit, my roommate doesnt have a key, and there's a recently used bong (and the accompanying stench) immediately near the door so i can't call security or an RA. So I have to kick the door in. Seeing that I'm barefoot, I walk to my suitemate's room to get shoes, only to see that there are 20 people in the room watching Surfer, Dude. I grab the shoes, say "sup", and scurry away to kick the door in.

NineNineOhFour · 3 months

Haha! Oh man this is my favorite. Not exactly sex walk of shame, but....

Walking home from the hospital after having my stomach pumped, barefoot bc i lost my shoes, holding a bag of my clothes covered in vom, wearing hospital scrubs 2x too big, without a purse or phone bc i lost those, with a chipped tooth from falling on my face leaving the party (apparently). Walking through the ghettos of Savannah, GA, being cat called by guys on the porches.... At one point i turned, pointed to my tooth and the rest of my disarrayed and bruised body and said, "Seriously?! You do not want AAANNNNYYY of this." and continued walking home to my dorm.

Definitely one of my most ridiculous. I loved walking home on walk of shames heh, i felt so grown up..... Or i was still drunk and would just take off running back home.

flamants · 3 months

It was 8AM, I was missing a shoe and holding a tiara. It was freezing outside and the buses hadn't started running yet, so I had to sit shivering on the bus stop bench while peppy morning joggers gave me sympathetic smiles. and my phone was dead so I couldn't call any of my friends to pick me up. OH, AND THIS WAS ALL ON MY BIRTHDAY.

the_onetwo · 3 months

Halloween. me and 3 buddies decided to dress as a hair metal 80s band, which meant wearing shiny and/or leopard print womens pants, and midriff womens shirts, with eye make-up and giant wigs.

left a party with drunk girl. at about 4:00 AM, she informs me that her parents are coming in about an hour to drive her to grandmas (or some shit--probably a lie). leave at about 4:20 AM and sprint through campus to try and avoid the shame. get back to my dorm and realize I have no keys or cell phone and cannot get into my dorm. too ashamed (and drunk) to wait outside normally, so I hid in a bush waiting for someone to leave.

of course, the first person to leave was a very small asian girl on her way to the library for some early studying. I proceeded to burst out of the bush and try and catch the door while she was leaving and sneak in. did not consider how terrifying a half-nude make-up'd man would appear sprinting at you in drag. also I missed the open door.

she shrieked and took off running and also called campus police, as I found out the hard way. 3 minutes later, a squad car came and flushed me out of the bush still in my lady pants and wig. questioned me long enough for the early bird crowd to exit and gawk at me outside the dorm.

EDIT: spelling/grammar

Iamthewarthog · 3 months

Took a girl into the mountains at night to show her the resort I had previously worked at. It was the off-season, so the place was empty except for my former boss and his family, who lived up there year-round. Went for a night-hike, which inevitably turned into sexy- times. Got back to the car to find I had left the headlights on and the battery had died. Had to walk to my old boss's house and pretend like I was paying him an unexpected 11pm visit and ask for a jump. When he saw the girl waiting in the car he knew exactly what went down.

spartacus880 · 3 months

Didn't happen to me but around 1100 the Saturday morning after most of the frats on campus had their formals I spotted a girl walking home with a very short, tight black dress and fuck me heels on. Messy hair/makeup was smeared a bit so the whole picture was there. A couple of guys roll up in a car to the stoplight as she is crossing the corner back to campus when the driver leans out and yells "HEY! Whose formal did you go to last night? Did you have SEX?!" I was about 50 yards away but heard him clear as day.

For the full picture you should know there was a football game that day so there were all kinds of families with little kids walking around and browsing the downtown stores. And at least 10 families with kids from 1-14 were within easy earshot of the whole thing.

tells_shitty_stories · 3 months

i woke up outside, it was cold and rainy and i had no idea where i was. i hear my dad yell, "WHO LEFT THE G**DAMN PAN IN THE FIRE!" i got up and fell out of my tent, because it had a zipper front but i didn't have time to unzip the bottom part over so i only had a flap to walk through. and i got my feet all muddy because there was water on the dirt. luckily i didn't have socks on because i've had socks on before when it was raining but i've been inside those times.

[deleted] · 3 months

Halloween, I dressed up as the construction worker from the Village People. I had to walk all the way across campus (20 minute walk) and I had woken up late (around 10am) campus was already busy. I walked by professors, deans and students. When I got to my dorm my card wasnt working so public saftey had to come open my door.

Awful.

i_r_inguneer · 3 months

TIL lots of people on Reddit don't know what a walk of shame is. (when you walk home after a night of debauchery in the clothes you went out in, most commonly after some sort of sexual escapades)

r3ach · 3 months

Years ago a friend of mine would have legendary parties at his moms' house. At this stage of my youth, my friends and I were young, stupid and experimenting with psychedelics. We decided, after splitting a bottle of Absinthe that it would be a great idea to eat some mushrooms and go on an adventure. This might have been well and good, however we left the guys house unattended with a full blown house party going on.

I vividly remember the following morning, walking ups his street with a group of guys who looked like they spent a week in the woods. The house was still in party mode the next morning at 7am, doors and windows all open, music still playing but nobody home. We see the mailman stepping over a lone party goer who is sleeping on the front steps to throw the mail on the front porch and walk away quickly as if he was afraid to catch something. The last remaining party goer wakes and realizes where he is and scurries off before we get up the street.

The neighbor mowing his lawn around a deserted 4-man beer bong gave us the dirtiest look humanly possible.

MediocreJerk · 3 months

Few years back..

My girlfriend and I broke up early in the week (Monday or Tuesday). Thursday night I go out with some friends with the hope of getting wasted and forgetting about it. I should have predicted this, but I ended up getting way too drunk (friends buying my shots) and I blacked out and went home with some girl. In the morning I didn't remember her name or even how we met, but I woke her up somewhat early and said I was leaving. So this was around 9:45 AM that I started heading home, when I walk by my recent ex-girlfriend.

I looked like complete shit, was still kind of drunk, and it was obvious I spent the night with someone. This wasn't so much "funny" as it was "shameful", but anyways that's my worst story.

mblenner · 3 months

Walking home the morning after from a toga party, only wearing a toga and sandals. It happened to be the one day of the year when it actually snows in the city I was living in, and of course I had to ride the bus to get home.

chocolatebutterr · 3 months

It was a Sunday night and one of my good friends birthdays. We stayed up till 6AM, drinking till almost as late. I had class the next morning at 8AM and had to give a final presentation on a big project. I slept for an hour, woke up and walked the 3 miles it was to campus, gave my presentation reeking of alcohol and still moderately intoxicated.

Passed the class.

strongflower · 3 months

I have too many to pick from lol. Here's the most recent:

Met a young girl at my local haunt who was flirting like mad. Heard she had a boyfriend, didn't care, but declined her invite home as i had to work the next day. She bought me a few more drinks and eventually got me drunk and riled up enough to just go.

Showed up at the cafe i was working at around 630 on no sleep. At some point during the day a customer approached me and informed me of a piece of "biological waste" in the middle of the dining room floor. I went over and found a used condom lying there.

Thoroughly disgusted and griping away while i got gloves to dispose of the thing, my boss said shed like to speak to me. After clean up and i went to her and she said, "Are those the clothes you wore to work yesterday?" and I nodded. She asked to see my arms and I pulled my sleeve back to reveal a largely written phone number on my forearm. She nodded and asked if id be going out to the bars again after work. She asked me if there was any way the condom could have been mine. I hadn't thought about it until then, but she was correct.

When we'd gone back to the girls place, she was a student and didn't have a bed yet, so I took her right there on the floor of her bedroom. I'd dropped my pants and stepped out of them, so they must have sat in a coiled pile somewhere near us. In the throes of finishing, I had pulled the condom of and tossed it carelessly aside. She couldn't find it and asked me where I put it and I was like I dunno, it'll turn up later.

And I was right. It landed in my pants which I drunkenly pulled on and wore to work without noticing the condom stuck to my leg. As I took the chairs down from the tables as I opened the cafe, it was knocked loose and slipped out of my pant leg.

Yes, I was fired.

tl;dr: Had a used condom stuck to my leg until I got to work drunk; it fell out and was found by a customer while they ate lunch. Boss pieced together it was mine and fired me.

jak551 · 3 months

Walking home on a tuesday morning dressed as Iceman from Top Gun. It was only a few blocks, but you get weird looks walking through the streets in a flight suit

DirtyKarma · 3 months

Had just been dumped by my girlfriend of 3 years a week before so did what most people do, I bought a new outfit and headed to the bar in hopes of meeting someone. Met a girl at the bar and things went surprisingly well so we went back to her friends place. Her friend was in the bedroom so we started making out and moved to the couch. The dog had set up an elaborate trap on the couch, translation: we both sat in dog shit. Ruined the night. Threw my new pants and new shirt out after only three hours of ownership and walked home in my boxers. My housemates don't let me forget about this event either.

TL; DR Sat in dog shit after finalyy being successful

Alekas_Attic · 3 months

I painted my whole body blue and went as Neytiri from Avatar for a party a few years ago, I didn't have anything under the paint except boy short underwear and backwards duct tape around my top area after a hell of a night drinking we decided to make a slip and slide from my friends car tarp, I must of passed out after a while because the next morning I woke up under my friends picnic table, all my paint had washed off, everyone was gone except two of my friends. I had to ride the subway home(on a Monday morning)with nothing but a doctors jacket that said Gynecologist Dr. Howiefeltersnatch and a pair of duck feet(the only 2 parts of their costumes my friends would spare!

whatarrives · 3 months

When I was 17 and living in Florence, in a single day I was got robbed of my passport, money, cards and return tickets home. I called home to cancel my cards and tell my parents using the cell phone of a pair of gorgeous danish girls who I'd chanced to meet, who I then thanked by buying them dinner. We had wine over dinner and because I was sixteen and an idiot, I did not know the degree to which wine could fuck one up.

We drank two more bottles at a bar and the last thing I remember is saying "you know, these streets are dangerous, I should walk you home."

The next morning I wake up, naked, in bed with one, and with the other sleeping on the floor. Everything above my shoulders feels/tastes/smells like disaster. I am utterly confused, and cannot find my clothes anywhere.

"Did we...?" I ask, when the girls wake up?

They laughed. No, no. I had merely walked them home, and passed out on their couch. When next they found me, I was fully clothed, vomiting into their shower, repeating over and over in Italian "I'm sorry" and "hot hot, water water." They brought me onto their balcony, where I threw up into a bucket for a couple hours, while wearing their underwear (because, you'll remember, mine were soaked.)

The best part was that my parents had returned the phone call I'd made earlier. The Trashed Danes picked up, and in their sloppiness, had not wanted to tell my parents that I was shit-wrecked and possibly dying on their account, so had instead opted to tell my parents that they had merely found me at a bar after, they presumed, I had been roofied.

I walked home that afternoon in more of the girl's clothes, holding a bag of my own. On a pre-paid cellphone, I'd called my parents to tell them that I had not been roofied, but had just been an asshole, and that they should not immediately make a transatlantic flight to kick my ass.

tl;dr- I walked home in the clothes of a girl I had just met, while talking to my parents, who were furious at me for the best of reasons, as I was utterly broke and stranded in Florence.

NaturalLogofOne · 3 months

I am eagerly waiting November 1st walk of shame stories.

boxxa · 3 months

My University had two campuses about 3 miles apart. One was where all the bars were and they had bus lines that ran until 4:30AM (bars closed at 4am). This one girl was all over me at the bar but decided to turn her down and attempt to get with another "sure thing" who I thought was hotter. I walk her back to her dorm on the campus, get to the door and she pukes and passes out. It is now 5:30AM, I am stuck with no bus, no money, and no girl. I start doing the 3 mile walk of shame back to my dorm and as I am walking through the south campus on the journey home, I see the original girl banging some dude in the parking lot and we made eye contact.

duketime · 3 months

In college, I and four friends all rented this mansion maybe 2 or 3 miles off campus. At a party (close to campus) I play flip cup, get sauced pretty quick, and eventually lose the match for our team because I'm too busy working the crowd. Anyway, this random girl we got for our team (it was a rule) and I get to talking. Then we go outside and start making out in the bushes. Then we start heading back to her place (I throw up on the way).

We get to the front door of her apartment building and I suddenly have to urinate really really badly. I'm literally 20 seconds away from a bathroom, but I can't handle it. So, I try to let just the tiniest trickle out and you know what happens. Suddenly, I'm whizzing pints of piss all over my jeans, and freaking out. She leads me to the bathroom (to rinse out the vomit) and I pee some more and freak out some more. Eventually I come out, trying to hide the stains on my jeans, we make out some more and pass out on the floor.

I wake up, she's on the bed by now and I consider leaving a note or something, but instead get the hell out. So it's a three-mile walk, and on the way back one of my roommates sees and goes crazy because he thinks I got lucky (I didn't). Eventually I make it back, and another roommate got sexiled so he's in my bed. I say, "Fuck it" and just pass out next to him.

nukedorbit · 3 months

Woke up in a ditch by a cop (6am), spent 14 hours in jail and barely blew legal limit when I left. Walked to the Exxon nearby, borrowed a phone from one of the girls that worked there (knew them both fairly well), called my brother.

Well, we both work at the same bar, and I'm scheduled in at 6p, it was 8p when he picked me up. He didn't take me home. ಠ_ಠ

I walk in, and there are women I recognize from the night before, who apparently took me home, asking why I had been in a ditch. Apparently the bar owners had covered us, and then I got to serve 100+ people I didn't know, around 100 or so locals who knew me well, and all of them already knew, until 2am.

Did I mention I had puke all over my pants, and my boss kept spraying me with febreeze?

tl;dr 8 hour walk of shame @ work, and everyone knew what happened the night before except me

[deleted] · 3 months

After smoking copious amounts of weed, playing card games, and having lots of sex, the morning came and I had to go home and shower before class (it was a Wednesday or something). It was cloudy out, but my eyes were bloodshot partially from smoke and partially from leaving my contacts in overnight. I smelled like stale weed smoke and sex and men's cologne. I got on the bus to go home and a kid who lived down the hall from me in my dorm was on his way home from his girlfriend's house. One of my classmates in my 5 days/week, 20-person discussion class was on the bus, too. They both tried small talk. I tried not to stink up their airspace too badly.

The guy who lived in my dorm ended up telling like half our floor. Everyone thought I was a ho. I ended up dating that guy's roommate later on and turning him on to the wonders of sex, drugs, and alcohol.

shiredup · 3 months

back when i was 18 i still lived with my parents but that didn't stop me from bringing girls back it just meant i had to have them out of the house by 7 to avoid that awkward talk that we'd have if my parents saw them. so... one night i'm at a party and some how bring two girls back to my parents house we have a little fun and then 6 o'clock rolls around and i decided to get these girls out of here before my parents get up but that didn't happen. the two girls i'm with walk out first and look over to the right and my grandma is sitting down reading the paper in the living room. did i mention that its Sunday and its mothers day, it made for very interesting and weird conversation at dinner that night ending with my dad weirded me out saying next time you bring two girls home let me know if you need some help.... smh

c0n0r · 3 months

Went to a snowpants or no pants party. My two best friends and I went to Wal-Mart and bought XXXL bib snow pants and only wore those to the party (I was wearing the bibs, sneakers and a wool hat). I ended up hooking up with a girl I was sort of seeing. I decided to leave at around 4 am (kept falling out of her twin-sized bed). Since I was a little drunk still, I ended up running across campus in sneakers, boxers and a hat while carrying the snow pants.

Mayhemburger · 3 months

My girlfriend at the time cheated on me in the men's room at a bar that we went to together (cunt). I quickly downed a few long islands and decided, "fuck this shit" and started my 15 mile journey home. I passed out somewhere around the half way point while cutting through a park. I woke up at about 5am to sprinkler water blasting me in the face. 3 hours later I finally reached my apartment, cold, wet and practically dying of dehydration. Fuck everything about that night.

ev9d9 · 3 months

Freshman year, Easter break. New boyfriend suprises me by showing up at my parents' house in the middle of the night. After (too) much liquor, he convinces me to spend the night at his place, assuring me that we will have ample time to sneak out the next morning while his mom drives his little brothers to school. I, being a horny drunkard, consent.

The next morning, we are jarred awake by his 8 year-old brother bursting into the room, who looks over my entire nakedness and says "she's not Monica" (boyfriend's ex-girlfriend). Little brother slams the door and runs downstairs where we can hear him announce "there's a girl upstairs who isn't Monica!" That's when the realization sets in: Good Friday. Little brothers go to catholic school and have the day off. We scramble into clothing and boyfriend takes me downstairs, where his entire family is having breakfast. I have never met any of them before, nor have they ever heard of me.

TL;DR met my boyfriend's family for the first time when 8 year-old brother walks in on us passed out in his bed

IHATEFRANK · 3 months

Someone in my hallway was seeing a girl off, through the open door I heard her say, "Goodnight Legolas," and then give him a kiss. She then saw me walking past.

tons_of_fun · 3 months

Generally, anytime I'm in public its a walk of shame. Damn this low self-esteem

ColonelFlashman · 3 months

From UWE halls on a bus to the centre of Bristol, then by foot to my own university halls about a 45 minute walk, at about 9am during rush hour traffic on foot. Walking back through all the students on their way to uni as well.

Dressed like this: http://www.funpartyltd.co.uk/images/thumb.php?f=33322.gif&w=500&h=600

zerbey · 3 months

Back in College I was at a bar and ended up making out with this girl. Well, everyone assumed I'd scored with her so when I go up the next morning someone had pinned a "The love doctor is in!" note to my door and I got a round of applause (yeah, I didn't score very often).

She went home with her ex-boyfriend that night. I'd left early in disgust.

TL_DRespect · 3 months

Falling asleep on a bus in Korea at 10am, feet out the window, head in the aisle, being awakened by a middle aged women who asked if I was alright. Hopped off the bus, the wrong side of Seoul and started drinking and smoking with some middle aged dudes who were hanging around the side of the road. They explained to me why they hated Japanese people, I nodded politely. Then I got a bus home.

fistpunch · 3 months

Showed up at a party already drunk and proceeded to get even more happy idiot drunk. I had just gotten out of prison about a year earlier and one of my initiations in prison was being surrounded by brothers of a different color (I'm a white ass peckerwood, cracker, white bread looking mofo) asking me if I knew any nigger jokes. Awkward but they laughed their asses off for scaring the shit out of me.

My friends at the party knew this story and thought it was funny as hell so I yelled out "Who wants to hear some nigger jokes!" The room went completely silent and one of my friends pointed to the living room. I peaked my head around the corner and saw my pale ass white friend with his new ebony girlfriend complete with her two brothers and a cousin. I had to pass by them while leaving as I hung my head in shame feeling like a asshole while wanting to explain the context of the statement. Longest walk through a living room ever.

His girlfriend eventually heard the the prison story so the next time I saw her she said " I'm sorry fistpunch. It must be tough being white." Awesome sense of humour that one.

TL;DR. Got blackout drunk (no pun intended) and felt like a jerk.

tehnico · 3 months

I woke up and Woody was gone.

agrosa · 3 months

Damn this sucks, I always gave the girls who slept with me rides home.

itsjamesbro · 3 months

About 3 or 4 years ago I started with the girlfriend at the time. It was in the back of her vehicle around 11 and started to fool around a lot comepletely in the buff, when no sooner do I see blue and red lights and a spotlight in the car. Cop starts questioning me and ends up calling my mom. So my walk of shame was having my mom know the time of day it was done, where it was done, and that I was no longer a virgin. Ended up getting home to her trying not to laugh at me. Turned out better than expected but still it was the worst drive home ever.

willehb · 3 months

I went to a party. Wasn't really planning on getting that drunk, but I certainly didn't want to stay sober. So I get to the party and have a few beers like any college-aged party-goer. I feel like the beer isn't really doing the trick, so when my buddy asks me if I want to go to the shot bar I say abso-fucking-lutely. Stay at the shot bar for way too long, then go by the keg to have some more beer. I did pay for entrance, after all so I wasn't going to get shorted on an experience.

By this point I realized resistance was futile, so I got my drink on. Well, the time to leave came a little early that night because I was new at this and far too wasted. So my friend and I hitch a ride back to campus and start walking back to his dorm, and I decide it's a great time to take a piss.

Right in the middle of the street on the north side of campus, while our dorms were still a good 1/2 mile away.

My friend realizes that I'm not walking with him anymore, so he looks back and sees me, dick in hand, urinating right there.

Me: "I'm peeinnnnn!"

Friend: "Hahahahahahha. Oh shit, there's a cop!"

Me: "No there's not..." (I totally didn't see any cop, but he still swears there was one nearby)

We start running the 1/2 mile back to his dorm, and I black out.

When I come to, I'm completely naked except for my socks, in a pool of my own vomit, still drunk, and in a shower of someone's room I barely know. I remember where my friend's dormroom is, and stumble (still naked except for my socks) over there. I notice there's a door open, so I decide to cover up my junk with my hand and see what's going on.

There's about 15 people I know in this room, including the guy I went to the party with. I take a look around, and decide this is a good enough place to crash for the night. I stumble over to the futon and my friend is nice enough to throw a blanket on me after taking a sufficient amount of pictures. Before I pass out I let everyone in the room know how much I love them except for the Mexican guy I had just met that day. (funny story, he's now one of my best friends.)

Me: "Mexican, I don't love you."

And then I'm out.

Wake up the next morning, still naked, with some vomit still on me. Cover up with the blanket, and walk through the common area between that dorm and my own. It was a Saturday that a lot of parents decided to come visit their kids on, so naturally the common area was bustling with activity. Go back to dorm and sleep until later that night

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login