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[–]lncontheivable 755 points756 points ago

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Be careful not to force development of this type of ability. It is very possible as he discovers he is special, that he will become self-conscious of it and develop issues with it.

The best thing to do is just let it develop naturally and to treat it as matter-of-fact. If he ever asks why he can do these things and others cannot, just explain to him that everybody is different and different people have different abilities and aptitudes.

[–]bobblerable[S] 310 points311 points ago

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Thanks very much. This seems like great advice. I'm trying my damndest to be the most unselfish father I can be.

[–]lncontheivable 251 points252 points ago

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Also, on a possibly negative side, these types of abilities are often linked with Autism and other conditions. Not saying he has this or will have any sort of condition, but keep your eye out for possibly strange behaviours and difficulty with interacting with other kids.

Having been a strange kid with different abilities myself, I was very conscious of how I was different from other kids. I was heavily pressured by every teacher I had to develop my skills, but all I wanted (like all kids) was to be accepted, and so a lot of the time I dumbed myself down in order to fit. The one great moderating factor in my development was the unconditional love and support of my mother, who didn't pressure or push me to become something I didn't want to be.

The best thing you can do is just love and support your child as best as you can. He will certainly have issues in his life, both positive and negative, due to his difference, and all you can really do is provide him with a safe zone that he can retreat to when he needs. Whenever he wants to learn something, try and help, so that he learns at his own pace, and be as honest as you can.

[–][deleted] 97 points98 points ago

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Also, on a possibly negative side, these types of abilities are often linked with Autism and other conditions.

I came here to say this. Everything he describe, down to being extremely tall, describe my daughter, and she is autistic. But he say that his boy spoke "clearly" at 2 1/2, which would be very unlikely in autism (or very lucky if it's the case)

[–]bobblerable[S] 68 points69 points ago

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Again, thanks for the advice. His vocabulary is far superior to all of his friends and almost all the children his age that I've met. He can't quite pronounce his "L's" yet, but we're working on that with "La La La Lemon" type songs.

He's very sociable. He'll frequently go to strangers in a restaurant and ask them questions like what they're eating. He also enjoys interaction with children his age.

[–]underwear_viking 80 points81 points ago

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My little brother is just like FryandLaurie's kid. He is almost 16 years old now, but remembers stuff from before he even learned to talk.

Creepiest moment: We moved from Oregon to California when he was just under 2 years old. Our first vacation back to Oregon took place 5 years later, and the kid was a living TomTom all the way back. He even knew which ways to turn throughout Portland and Gresham to get to our relatives' houses.

[–]intellos 50 points51 points ago

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Bedtime with google maps. Never buy another map or GPS again.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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It will suck when the GPS falls asleep

[–]abledanger 20 points21 points ago

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But the big bad Livingston Street reared his ugly head.

"Have no fear, Lamborn Avenue, Livingston Street is nothing but a bully," Main street said. "I suggest we talk a right onto Boulder Avenue instead."

Lamborn agreed.

[–]flio191 7 points8 points ago

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Can I have one for my car? :]

[–]JimSFV 17 points18 points ago

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The "L" pronunciation issue is quite possibly just a matter of his lingual muscles not being fully formed yet.

It's also possible, that this amazing memory ability will one day poof ... be gone.

[–]biodebugger 13 points14 points ago

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It's also possible, that this amazing memory ability will one day poof ... be gone.

This was the case with a friend of mine's son Bob. He said that Bob's memory seemed perfect when he was ~<5 years old, but then it faded and became normal. He said the ability came in handy for things like shopping lists and such while it lasted -- like a walking PDA. Happily they didn't push him on it or make a big deal of it, so it wasn't traumatizing or anything when it went away. This is another way in which lncontheivable's advice is good.

[–]spei180 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe it's because they eventually figure out what is important to remember and what is not? At first everything in your life must seem so important you remember it all but eventually things level out and you realize you don't need to remember everything and your brain settles down.

[–]biodebugger 7 points8 points ago

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Ah, that makes sense. I think the neuroscience term for that is "salience." I've seen some interesting stuff about this wrt dopamine regulation. I hadn't thought about how that system would get initialized. I imagine you're right: it would make sense for it to default high until you learn what you can safely ignore. I guess now I'll be on the lookout for info on this topic.

[–]Metaphoricalsimile 49 points50 points ago

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Asperger's is a disorder on the Autism spectrum that includes precocious language skills. However, I wouldn't really worry about it. If your child is developing well, and does not have any extreme maladaptive behaviors (violent tantrums, etc) then it doesn't really matter if he gets a label or not. He's just a great kid who has his own uniqueness.

[–]cjhard 14 points15 points ago

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My youngest brother was labeled an Asperger, and since then he's used it as a crutch to get away with anything he wants. He didn't learn to speak words until around 4 or 5, and he sounded retarded until he was 12. It might be something to do with his hearing rather than his mental status, but the fact that the OP's kid is speaking so well makes me think he's just a badass.

[–]Metaphoricalsimile 14 points15 points ago

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He didn't actually have Asperger's then, because it is partially defined by early and advanced spoken language skills.

[–]jeffus 2 points3 points ago

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This isn't quite accurate. Technically, at least in the US, it has nothing to do with advanced verbal skills. Instead there simply cannot be a clinically significant delay in language. This is one way clinicians differentiate Asperger's and Autistic Disorder or, if all the diagnostic criteria are not met for Autistic Disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (PDD NOS). Google the DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria for each disorder for more info--it's really quite interesting.

It will also be interesting to see what changes are agreed upon for the upcoming DSM V. My guess (and what I tend to agree with along with a lot of current research) is that the idea of "spectrum" in the term "Autism Spectrum Disorders" will be heavily stressed, such that what we currently see as distinct disorders will be considered as points on a continuous spectrum of one disorder.

[–]theKinkajou 10 points11 points ago

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On a brighter note, instead of autism it could be hyperthymesia, which according to this guy's story would be awesome.

[–]Malfeasant 6 points7 points ago

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never mind pbhj about "overstepping a social barrier" - if your kid does it politely, there's nothing wrong with it. if i'm in a restaurant and some kid is bouncing around and yelling, yes it is annoying, but on the other hand when a kid comes up and asks what i'm eating, and if it's any good, i'm going to answer him like he's a real person, not shoo him away for being nosy. i think too many people are too inhibited in their social interactions because we tend to try to eliminate the behavior, rather than channel it in a positive direction.

[–]lncontheivable 5 points6 points ago

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Yup. Just keep an eye on things, do your own research into conditions like Autism, and perhaps talk to a professional on your own. But be wary of others slotting your son into categories. I wouldn't subject him to professional scrutiny unless there was a serious, compelling reason to.

[–]xpkranger 4 points5 points ago

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It's very hard to tell from just the OP's initial description. If you've seen one kid on the spectrum, you've really only seen one kid. Both of my kids are on the spectrum and have some unique abilities as well as unique challenges. My son was speaking in complete sentences at 1 and had taught himself to read by three. He has proprioceptive issues as well as difficultly interpreting non-verbal cues. My daughter demonstrates a remarkable memory as well (though not to the OP's son's extent.) Both of them are hyper-sensitive to external stimuli (noises, lights etc...) but in weird situations. A baseball game might be fine for one while a trip to the store is aggravating for the other. As you may have guessed, my kids have Asperger's Syndrome. Fortunately for them, with some therapies here and there, they'll do just fine. Speaking from experience though, don't get into an argument with an adult Aspie who has virtually total recall of what you said six months or 5 years ago. There ought to be a statute of limitations.

Anyway, be on the lookout for any social issues, excessive misreading of non-verbal cues. If you suspect something is wrong, don't wait - evaluate. Early intervention (if there is a problem) can prevent a lifetime of problems. Untreated adolescent Aspies and Autistics have a much higher suicide rate than the GP.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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but all I wanted (like all kids) was to be accepted

Amen to this. I'm 23, and I still struggle with feeling unaccepted because of the way my parents and teachers treated me growing up.

[–]RecursiveCipher 30 points31 points ago

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As an ADHD kid growing up, my parents and teachers always treated me rather differently. And then in 4th grade. they entered me into the Center Based Gifted program. They meant well, but this kind of lead to me becoming a complete social idiot. I've never have more than a handful of people that I would call friends, and as a person of roughly average intelligence, I don't have the genius factor to make up for it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is no matter how hard you want to believe that your child is gifted/talented/the next motherfucking Einstein, think long and hard before giving them any kind of special treatment. If they want to stand out, they'll do so on their own. Encourage them to explore their talents and hobbies, but don't shove them in the direction you want them to go. And sure as hell don't let a teacher do it.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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I'm pretty much in the same boat. I wasn't put in the gifted program, largely because there wasn't one at my school (extremely small Christian schools for K-12), but I was often put into classes one or two grades above my own, put into math and spelling competitions/teams, and always told by teachers and my parents that I could do better and that I was "smarter than my B+/A- average".

I'm 23. I have two friends. One of which is my partner, who I met 3 months ago; she's my first girlfriend, my first kiss, and my first fuck. I didn't even masturbate until I was 19. My other friend is probably closer to an acquaintance at this point, even though he's my roommate (until the end of this month, after which I'll maybe see him once a month). I hate myself, I feel like I'm a bad person because of the completely moronic beliefs that my parents forced on me (which I only recently - in the past year and a half - shook off, but are continuing to make me feel like I'm a moral failure), I feel like I'm a shitty programmer (my profession), and I feel like there's no point in doing anything unless I know that I can excel at it - so all I do in my free time is play video games. SSRIs aren't doing much, either...

Thanks, mom and dad!

So, again, to the OP: listen to these people. Don't fuck up your kid like my parents fucked me up. Make sure he feels included, normal, and just fine the way that he is.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]tlann 4 points5 points ago

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As a person that has had similar issues in the past I have some small recommendations. First, you should start putting yourself into situations where you are surrounded by tons of different people with differing views and backgrounds. For me this was the rave scene. I didn't go out to parties a ton, but I spent a lot of time talking with people online and hanging out. I met a lot of smart and interesting people. Two, take responsibility for your own happiness. I have some big qualms with how my parents raised me. But that is in the past and I'm going to make the best of now. Third, take care of your body and mind. Start exercising because you will definitely start feeling better. It works wonders for me. Find other hobbies too. Try to eat healthy. Welcome to the rest of your life. You get out of it what you put into it.

[–]soyyoo 8 points9 points ago

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forget your past, we accept you :)

[–]decoy9697 3 points4 points ago

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Turns out you're a-ok, buddy. :)

[–]DelicateStranger 92 points93 points ago

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Get him into music classes. Something easy for a three year old like singing or xylophone. Even if he doesn't end up doing it for a career, being a well trained musician will give him pleasure throughout his life.

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points ago

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Xylophone? Give the boy a piano. I think he's earned it.

[–]Dragon_DLV 3 points4 points ago

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Screw it. Get this kid a Theremin.

[–]theoryface 42 points43 points ago

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OR buy him a xylophone and see how he takes to it. If he loves it, ask if he'd like to take go see someone who's very good. Explain that if he's polite and listens carefully, this person might want to teach him some lessons.

[–]hangsta 11 points12 points ago

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this kid should be able to play a holophonor

[–]bribbit 51 points52 points ago

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being a well trained musician will get ladies to pleasure him throughout his life

FTFY

[–]shortname 43 points44 points ago

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being a well trained musician who plays anything but euphonium will get ladies to pleasure him throughout his life

FTFY

[–]japanesetuba 3 points4 points ago

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Amen to you, brother.

[–]realmadrid2727 8 points9 points ago

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No. At his age, just take him to a musical instrument shop and have him see which instrument (if any) he likes. IF he likes any of them, get it for him and let him just explore it on his own for a few years.

If he stills shows real interest in it, then get him formal classes. This advice is specific to the age of your son. If he was like, 8, I would say put him in classes right after he finds an instrument he likes. But at such a young age formality becomes more of a chore than anything else.

[–]sarahrah 14 points15 points ago

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And start teaching him how to read music, because it's so much easier when you're a young kid. It just becomes ingrained in you. But yeah, I definitely agree - music lessons.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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God damn, fucking hell do not do this. He's 3 years old. He does not need to be in any formal learning environment. Foster any curiosity he has, but I cannot stand parents who think their child has a skill or talent and immediately formalizes what was previously a fun curiosity. This destroys the fun of so many subjects for kids.

[–]rox0r 8 points9 points ago

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Music class for a 3 year old does not have to be formal indoctrination. I'm not saying your concern is misplaced, it is a good concern to have, but they could find knowledge music instruction that builds on his curiosity.

[–]anon121 4 points5 points ago

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I'd say they should just consider buying a cheap keyboard off ebay (I bought one myself for $50), and let the kid pound the keys for a while. If he's interested, it'll be pretty clear after a bit, when he plays scales to find a note he was looking for.

[–][deleted] 78 points79 points ago

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National Geographic did an interesting study on Child Prodigies. They found that most were prodigies because their parents encouraged their activities and allowed them to pursue that as a priority over everything else, even school. They used a lady who was the first female chess grand master as the example. In any case, your child starts out like this super high powered individual, if the kid grows up happy, loved, and encouraged positively then whatever he chooses to do, he's gonna be amongst the very best, maybe the best, ever. Keep him away from human misery and pettiness or petty minded people. And be ready to spend money on gadgets and all manner of learning tools, books, computers, whatever he wants.

[–]bobblerable[S] 34 points35 points ago

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Thanks very much for this. I will absolutely take it to heart.

[–]hvidgaard 65 points66 points ago

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I'm replying here so there's a bigger chance you'll read it, and it somewhat relates. I don't recall the original article, but I do remember the conclusion.

If you're really smart, you soon come to rely on being smart, and that just doesn't cut it in more advanced topic later in life.

You have to teach him that he needs to put effort into what he's doing. When he stumbles upon a topic he don't pick up naturally (or progress to a point where noone pick it up naturally), don't tell him "it's probably just not your thing, try something else". Give him a push in the right direction and show him that sometimes, effort is what's needed. He will have much more success later in life. I have lost count of the gifted people at university that become dropouts because they wasn't taught that effort matters.

[–]pearlbones 22 points23 points ago

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I was always told I was very very smart, learned the alphabet/learned to read before a lot of other kids, had a really good memory (would memorize the lyrics to songs or the lines of Disney movies and act them out), etc. I never had to try hard at stuff, but now that I'm in college making efforts feels like a lot of work and pressure. I wish I had been pushed more and learned how to work hard. This is one of the most important things you can give your intelligent child - many things will come easily, but having to work hard to do anything that does not come easily is a learned skill.

[–]just_some_redditor 7 points8 points ago

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I was about to write this exact comment. Like you, I've coasted through academics up until now. Now that I'm taking upper-level engineering courses, the extraordinary effort involved seems all the more difficult.

[–]declancostello 16 points17 points ago

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I think it's certainly very important to reward him for effort and hard work rather than focusing on the things that are easy for him.

[–]toroi 8 points9 points ago

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can't remember the exact study but there was one where they gave 2 sets of kids IQ tests for their age group, then one of the groups were praised like "god job, you guys are smart" and the other were praised with "nice work you worked really hard for it".

Then they changed the questions to much harder ones. The ones who were told they were smart just gave up. The others worked at it - some failed, but a lot got it.

TLDR: I agree.

[–]rox0r 10 points11 points ago

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That's because public education was a snooze fest for the special needs people on the upper end of the scale. Special education is supposed to include the outliers on the upper end also.

[–]bobblerable[S] 3 points4 points ago

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Thank you.

[–]bribbit 5 points6 points ago

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Yes, the parents should definitely support his ability and allow him to develop it at its fullest. There's really a double edged sword here: if you push the kid too much and tell him he's special, etc... he'll likely resent his ability and want to "just be a normal kid". The flipside is when parents neglect the kid's abilities and try too hard to force him to be "normal" by discouraging his strengths and making him just focus on something like schoolwork that he finds trivial and boring.

[–]gr8sk8 12 points13 points ago

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Isn't fatherhood the coolest, scariest, most awesome thing ever?

I have 2 1/2 year old fraternal twin boys myself and just noticed something like what you describe about one of them. It was the spring of last year, they were a year and a few months old and we visited the Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa in Doylestown, PA. My dad was with us and he made sure to teach the boys the Polish words and names for everything, using the word "Bozia" when referring to any paintings or statues of Mary. Fast forward to about a week ago, I was wearing a t-shirt with the Mona Lisa on it, holding the twin in question and he smiles and points at the shirt and mispronounces "Bozia." It took a few minutes of trying to figure out what he was saying, but when I did I had a serious WTF moment, how the heck does he remember something like that from year ago, I had to call my dad and tell him. Kids really are sponges. Just like your son, he loves music and dancing. He's also very mechanically inclined, he loves taking stuff apart and trying to put it back together again. We don't sleep much, but life with the kids is great.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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How happy was your dad?

[–]gr8sk8 5 points6 points ago

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Grandpa? He's nuts, he lives and breathes for the grandkids, he's such a cuddly teddy bear to them and he was such a mean grizzly to me growing up, I can't figure it out. He was surprised, and added that he always thought the kids seem to pay attention to everything, kind of like wide-eyed awe when it comes to new stuff. I'll be curious to learn what else the kids remember and what interesting things we'll hear from the mouths of babes.

[–]ithkuil 8 points9 points ago

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I would guess that his memory is enhanced outside of normal range for his age, but I think it may not be quite as unusual as people think

Adult brains and children's brain are very different. At an early age, learning occurs much faster and there is more "room" to store facts.

This is one reason why young children have such amazing (compared to adults) abilities as far as language acquisition and creative visualization -- their brains work differently.

[–]mrvegas 15 points16 points ago

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But for the sake of everything awesome, when he shows an interest in something, subtly give him everything he needs to pursue it. Never force it. Books, instruments, electronics gear, whatever.

[–]GloryFish 20 points21 points ago

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This works for mortals as well. When I was little I was interested in video games, I wanted to make them. I spent all kinds of time drawing pictures of levels and characters. One day my dad came home with a book about programming. He never really made a big deal about it after that. I taught myself to write code and now I have a skill that supports my family.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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This brings up an odd story I want to share.

I used to remember everything as well, or so my parents tell me. I'd be the encyclopedic database of everything they shared with me. Forgot where your keys are? Ask your son. Want to remember the exact wording of something in the paper 3 weeks ago? Ask your son. Remember that? Remember this? I would remember movies to the point where I could never see them twice because of the irritating feeling of knowing the next line. It didn't however apply to everything---I couldn't memorize numbers easily, much to my parents dismay when it came time to do learn multiplication tables. But it was enough at least to earn me notice.

They made it into an event each time I was asked to recollect data like some kind of machine. Gradually, I began to feel like a bit of a freak. My older brother is autistic, and I always wondered if I were like him but only to a lesser degree. It frightened me.

Then something happened, something tragic I'm sure. The last thing I do remember is being 11 years old, and crying in my room behind a locked door as vivid detail seared through my mind. I remember wishing intensely for hours till the sunset, and the house was quiet: "Please let me forget".

And that's that. Now I can't remember anything in detail unless I'm actively engaged in it. If you are my friend, but leave the state then I'll forget I had feelings for you. In a few months, I'll forget your name...

[–]MalaysianMafia 10 points11 points ago

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Is this a real story? I'm intrigued...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Can we get an AMA?

[–]Anonymo 6 points7 points ago

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He can become Sylar, change his name to Gabriel.

[–]the_ouskull 5 points6 points ago

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He's only three, don't cancel him yet. =(

[–]Anonymo 5 points6 points ago

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Bad Sylar is not the reason the show got canceled. It's everyone else.

[–]shall0wkid 72 points73 points ago

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My spawn will be four in a couple weeks. He had the same freakish memory, memorized everyone's phone number (including random strangers he asked), is a proficient cell phone user, can text coherently, uses a computer better than most people over the age of 40, my husband taught him Pi to the 30th digit, he figured out how counting works (as in he can just keep going because he knows how numbers are put together), he can do simple math, he reads at a 3rd grade level and can give you the make and model of almost any car he sees.

Then he started daycare/preschool.

Now it's all poop jokes and being an asshole.

Good luck.

[–]GaryBusey-Esquire 6 points7 points ago

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Oh, how that hurts.

[–]CelebornX 266 points267 points ago

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Treat him like any normal kid. He is a normal kid.

But two important things:

  1. Musical Instrument

  2. Second Language

Start these early! I WISH my parents immersed me in those things when I was very young. Instead I'm in my 20s, I don't have amazing recall abilities and I'm struggling to learn another language and how to play piano. At best, I might be average by the time I'm 40. :-(

[–]aCleverMoniker 30 points31 points ago

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I'm in the same boat. I cannot recommend this advice enough.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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  1. Musical Instrument

Do this now. Like right now. You and your child will be forever grateful.

[–]meean 12 points13 points ago

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My dad got me piano lessons when I was twelve and I'm eternally grateful. It has become extremely helpful in getting girls. Piano=Chick magnet. Screw guitar, everyone plays it. Of course, you have to become pretty damn good at the piano to get noticed (Chopin and Liszt!) but sounds like this child should have no problem with it.

[–]meteors 10 points11 points ago

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On the other hand, if he doesn't want to learn an instrument, don't force him.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Also, art. Dosn't really matter, pottery, painting, sketching, composing and not only playing, creative writing...

[–]gsomega 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Pwnscone 2 points3 points ago

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Piano is a good foundation instrument. I play piano, flute, and bass guitar and always visualize musical structures on keyboard even if I'm playing the other two.

[–]herbert1820 344 points345 points ago

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Teach him a foreign language or two or three. What are you waiting for? The time is now.

[–]mayoroftuesday 49 points50 points ago

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This is a fantastic idea!

[–]jasonthe 19 points20 points ago

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YES.

[–]caramal 1585 points1586 points ago

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Raise him wealthy and pampered. Nurture his bat fetish. Then when the time comes, get mugged and murdered on the street by a random hoodlum. Try to do this sometime in the 1940s.

[–]bobblerable[S] 187 points188 points ago

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[–]BigSlim 310 points311 points ago*

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He doesn't always drink apple juice. But when he does, he prefers Mott's.

[–]stalkerTXstranger 17 points18 points ago

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i rarely actual laugh while i'm sitting alone in my room.....you sir are a saint

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago*

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Is he holding whisky in his hand? ಠ_ಠ

[–]bobblerable[S] 138 points139 points ago

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Apple juice. Like a Boss.

[–]jmone 11 points12 points ago

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Is that 1st class?

Pampering the little batdude well I see.

[–]BAWiggs 208 points209 points ago

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Not in the 1940s...yesterday, silly!

[–]farceur318 44 points45 points ago

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Any plan that involves the step "Get murdered" is a good plan.

[–]fresh_and_original 241 points242 points ago

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your joke did not go unappreciated here

[–]ijumpongoombas 174 points175 points ago

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Joke? If there is one place that can catalyze the birth of a real Batman, it is on reddit.

[–]ehsteve23 107 points108 points ago

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Freeze right there. This is not the time for a pun thread.

[–]areyoukiddingmehere 113 points114 points ago

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Don't listen to this guy - he's nothing but a two-face liar.

[–]charliegotmolested 79 points80 points ago

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You're such a Joker.

[–]JokerExplainer 28 points29 points ago

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Interpretations and incarnations of the Joker have taken two forms. The original and currently dominant image is of a fiendishly intelligent psychopath with a warped, sadistic sense of humor. The other interpretation of the character, popular in the late 1940s through 1960s comic books as well as the 1960s television series, is that of an eccentric but harmless prankster and thief. Batman: The Animated Series blended these two aspects, although most interpretations tend to embrace one characterization or the other.

[–]deltopia 7 points8 points ago

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Now THAT's a clever novelty account... upboats to you.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Mojorizen2 95 points96 points ago

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You guys are Robin me of all my jokes.

[–]throw6539 53 points54 points ago

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Why is this guy so serious?

[–]throw6539 24 points25 points ago

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What, Harvey done with the jokes?

[–]infosnax 41 points42 points ago

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It's Harley Quinncidental that you say that.

[–]aphex732 28 points29 points ago

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You guys are Wayne over your heads.

[–]aphex732 21 points22 points ago

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A few puns would really Bruce up this thread.

[–]nolarbear 9 points10 points ago

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Ice to meet you

[–]miiiiiiiik 13 points14 points ago

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the most adorable card counter in the world

[–]Yargyarg 2 points3 points ago

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Sorry, guy, but Batman was scared of bats.

[–]FellowConspirator 118 points119 points ago

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Young children typically take a long time to grasp the concept of time. Somewhere around 4, they develop the notion of recent and not recent and soon. Around 5, they understand that time can be measured, but they have a hard time with scale. By the end of their 6th year they'll have most of the scalar concept mastered.

Children also typically have excellent memories. They are more or less a blank slate and need the memories to build foundational knowledge and reference material for understanding. It will slowly degrade with time and they develop other thinking skills.

That said, there's a small percentage of people that develop eidetic memory ("photographic memory"), where their brain essentially never stops recording everything (typically one sense). Though, from your description, your son's memory seems typical for a healthy 3 1/2 year old. My boys were exactly the same. The eldest, now 9, still has some enduring impressions from when he was a toddler, though his newer memories aren't as indelible. Heck, even I remember what I got for easter when I was 3 (at the time, it was a big deal).

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]gobbo 6 points7 points ago

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Good post. When I was 6, I had perfect pitch, and a choral instructor who was quite excited about my ability to name any tone, and ID flat or sharp, without reference.

Of course, I suck at that sort of thing now, and can't read music or sing anything you want to hear. I can tune a guitar well, though.

Developmental psych is fascinating. We just fill our heads up and rewire them constantly as we grow.

[–]poops_mcgee 2 points3 points ago

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It's unfortunate that you are 4/5 of the way down the page - hopefully the OP will wade past all the photographic memory/autism/Sylar posts and read yours.

[–]steve-madden 138 points139 points ago

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ask him about the womb.

[–]blargh9001 62 points63 points ago

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hey, remember when I was in the womb yesterday? that was silly.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

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And nonsexual.

[–]unpatriotic 119 points120 points ago

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"Hey dad, remember yesterday when I swum for a veeery long time?"

[–]darien_gap 8 points9 points ago

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Everyone knows it's swimmened.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

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SWUM

????!?!???!?!?

! ! !

[–]cdemps62 66 points67 points ago

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he's three and a half, give him a break!

[–]sladkvat 36 points37 points ago

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"It was better than being an egg."

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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"I remember, there used to be two me's! I was floating around in mommy and daddy, and then one night, I heard lots of funny sounds and boom, half of me got pushed into the other half of me, and here I am!"

[–]abw1987 26 points27 points ago

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Please do this.

[–]bobblerable[S] 54 points55 points ago

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Funny coincidence, I just spoke with my wife about this thread and she said, "He said the funniest thing today, 'Remember when I was in your tummy kicking you yesterday? Sorry mom.'" She's pregnant now and we talk about the baby in her tummy, so it's likely he's drawing from that. A bit scary, nonetheless.

[–]tzk-tzk 36 points37 points ago

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It sounds like your son is trolling you. He could be one epic troll if you play your cards right.

[–]filenotfounderror 11 points12 points ago

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Your son is an epic troll, i dont know if you should encourage it.

[–]crayonpirate 7 points8 points ago

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o_0 hmm

[–]theloudestshoutout 3 points4 points ago

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Can you please ask him more about his time in the womb? This shit is bananas.

[–]darien_gap 18 points19 points ago

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"I remember being a perfect unified whole, a cell of awareness. And then getting violently torn in half. And then again. And again. Father, who are the we that you would have me call 'I'?"

"Uh.. Honey, it's time to call the university."

[–]mayoroftuesday 37 points38 points ago

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See if he can move things with his mind. Then go after the Trunchbull!

[–]aCleverMoniker 3 points4 points ago

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Don't get locked in the chokey.

[–]howiez 166 points167 points ago

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Teach him card counting

[–]TheAughtSpectrum 41 points42 points ago

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Or at least toothpick counting.

[–]ImJustRick 18 points19 points ago

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And get matching silver suits, STAT.

[–]alreadytakenusername 10 points11 points ago

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Don't forget to have a handsome younger brother who looks good in shades!

[–]JavaLSU 5 points6 points ago

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Get that kid a phonebook!

[–]dalix 8 points9 points ago

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definitely... definitely a good idea.

[–]frickthebreh 6 points7 points ago

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Seriously...I mean, Rain Man did it and he was a ritard.

[–]guccimullet 56 points57 points ago

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Take a look at this.

[–]Leahn 6 points7 points ago

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I was going to post this link. Well, I am envious of the boy now. I wish I had Eidetic Memory. Or not, since I am a redditor.

[–]Madmusk 10 points11 points ago

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You can learn about "Mr. S", the guy who possessed possibly the greatest memory ever, in this Radiolab episode.

Apparently, it really sucks to have a memory that good.

[–]ouroborosity 9 points10 points ago

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Hey, I have eidetic memory. Well, I have it up to level 3 right now, level 4 is going to take about 4 days to complete.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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Its just that he's Bean.

[–]VapidStatementsAhead 8 points9 points ago

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Teach him an instrument, and make him form a band called "They Might be Shadow Giants"

[–]bjornfeuer 12 points13 points ago

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Jesus H. Christ, after reading all the replies... fuck. Your kid is not 'likely' autistic. Your kid isn't an 'indigo child'. He isn't a savant.

Your kid is normal. Treat him like a normal kid. Get excited at his good memory, that'll teach him to keep on remembering things. Little kids are always seeking approval and a pat on the back.

If anything your kid has a pretty good memory and has matured fast enough that he knows he can speak his mind. That's good, but he's not special. His fingertips are special. His eyes are special. Don't treat him like a supergenius.

[–]subtextual 9 points10 points ago

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(Disclaimer: Pediatric neuropsychologist here.) In deciding whether your kiddo's behavior is "normal" or not, it may be helpful to know how memory develops.

Children remember more than adult, and they also remember differently than adults. In general, as we get older, our memories become more efficient because we start remembering less. Yes, less. That is, we get better at focusing on the important part of what happened, and mentally "throwing away" all the information that is not important for our brains to recall.

For example, your brain remembers that cool thing you saw on vacation, but it has realized that you don't really need to remember what you had for breakfast on your third day of that vacation, so it purposely forgets that information.

Children are not very good at this yet, so they remember everything about an experience (or, conversely, nothing). Because they are not as efficient at deciding which details of a memory to priortize as adults are, they also "chunk" experiences all together as one unit (whole songs, whole conversations, whole events). They remember every detail of an event... because to their brain, those things aren't a collection of prioritizeable details, those details are the event and they can't forgetting any part of the event unless they forget the whole event.

The above is part of the reason why young children have difficulties with time concepts like 'yesterday'... they do not have a unifying principle that links days past, and instead remember each day as a unique and discrete event that have little in common with other days -- after all, you did different things and different things happened, so to a child lumping two or more days together seems ridiculous.

Of course, kids get better at these skills every single day as they develop, so their memories are not quite as different from adults' as I presented above, depending on where they are in their development. (For example, before they speficially understand that every day before last is 'yesterday', they typically grasp a general idea that things that happened in the past can be lumped together and differentiated from things that have not happened yet, and often refer to everything that happened previously as having happened 'yesterday').

Interestingly, the way our brains get more efficient is through pruning (destroying) neural pathways that don't get used that often. This is an oversimplification, but it works something like this: As a kid, you remember every detail of, say, a particular day of a vacation. Later, as you're relieving that experience with your parents, the fun and novel things about the vacation are emphasized, and those neural pathways are strengthened, consolidating that memory. However, the routine elements of the vacation (e.g., each individual breakfast) do not get emphasized, and the child's brain decides that that little-used pathway is not useful and gets rid of it. Over time, the brain learns which information to remember in the first place, and what to not bother even really trying to remember.

This pruning happens throughout the early childhood years -- here's a sweet graphic of the gradual loss of gray matter between ages 5 and 20, for example.

While each child's rate of pruning (and how much pruning their brains do - e.g., some people just end up keeping a lot of gray matter and awesome memories) is unique to the individual child, a pretty massive degree of pruning has to happen for normal development. Children whose brains do not do this efficiently are at risk for developmental problems... for example, autism (which typically involves a fantastic memory as well as an overfocus on details) is thought to be related to a lack of this type of pruning. Thus, the behavior being described raises the index of suspicion for something like a mild autism-spectrum disorder. However, it's equally possible that your child is perfectly normal, and just showing off how his brain is developing.

Lots of people have suggested a chat with your pediatrician and/or your local school district's pre-school screening service, and that's the exact right next step. These professionals will be able to help you get a better handle on whether this is something to be concerned about, or just something to watch with fascination as your little guy develops.

[–]rightc0ast 3 points4 points ago*

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Hello. I'm just a parent, but there's a party trick I found out a long time ago, and it's hilarious. I'm curious about your take, since I don't know jack about this stuff.

Taking 30+ year olds and sitting them across from my kids under 7 and making them play that game "memory". It doesn't seem to work so well for people under 25 or so. They can hang with the kids memory-wise. Any older than that, and the kid stomps a mudhole in the adult. Every time.

It's soooooo funny to watch people go from "letting the kid win" to realizing they are getting smacked around in a bad way. When they switch to trying and hope no one notices and get beat badly anyway ... so funny! I realized it when it dawned on me that no matter how hard I try I simply can not beat them. Like most redditors, I was always told how awesome and smart I was growing up, so having kids and seeing this in action was pretty amazing.

Anyway, I'm no cogsci person, or a neuropsychologist ... Have I recreated a known "thing" in this party trick? Short term memory is different than the long term being discussed here I suppose, so maybe that's it. Or is it common knowledge already and I live with gullible friends and relatives? What's the deal? :)

[–]lvm1357 3 points4 points ago

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THANK YOU! I was raised by parents who had no clue about child psychology or how children develop. They were convinced that there was something medically wrong with me because my brain didn't "prioritize" memories like an adult brain would - when they'd ask me to tell them about what happened or tell them the plot of a book I read, I'd start telling them everything, or latch on to some insignificant detail rather than the more important things. This was a source of significant trauma - they would ridicule me for not remembering the important things and for latching on to insignificant details. Eventually, I just started saying "I don't remember" rather than risk saying the wrong thing. I spent my life thinking I was some sort of freak.

People should be required to take classes in child development before they have children.

[–]pdb01 11 points12 points ago*

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You son is NORMAL. Don't listen to all these Autistic posts.

While having a very good memory and having issues with the concept of time occurs in the autistic, it also occurs in pretty much every child to some degree at that age. My 3 year old exhibits the same concepts, even to the degree where he'll bring up elements of conversations he wasn't even a part of weeks later. His concept of time is quite limited to a simple past/present/future understanding.

The ability to sing, make friends and talk all point against your child being in any part of the Autistic spectrum.

In the examples you've given, the memories are significant to him. Quiznos is significant if you remember laughing at your dad because he did something funny. Disney is significant (Are you kidding here!). Just because something is not relevant or important to your adult mind, doesn't mean his mind isn't looking at it from a completely different angle. His brain hasn't yet learned to gloss over insignificant detail.

This behaviour seems pronounced, but perfectly normal dude. Let him be.

[–]Charles_Xavier 21 points22 points ago

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I happen to run a school for these types of youngsters, kids who exhibit a certain form of "giftedness." I'm sure enrolling him at my school would be very beneficial to his development.

[–]oas123 139 points140 points ago

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These are fine questions for your pediatrician, not Reddit.

[–]HighJive 37 points38 points ago

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C'mon, there are plenty of people on Reddit who will say that they're pediatricians. In fact, I'm one. Ask away!

[–]Dinnerforjoe 13 points14 points ago

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Dr. Highjive sounds like a name I should trust with the health of my children!

[–]darien_gap 2 points3 points ago

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Forget the pediatrician, call the dept of developmental psychology at your nearest large university. If they have one, they'd probably be interested in taking a look. You might get a bunch of assessments done and learn about what to do, all for no charge.

[–]Rtbriggs 3 points4 points ago

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i don't think he was planning to start treatment based on our suggestions, but gathering 500+ people's opinion on whether it seems like something to be concerned about seems reasonable.

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points ago

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I was the same way as a kid. It was freaky but I just remembered things. I learned to read around 3 and by the time I was 8, I was comfortable reading anything from Stephan King to Percy Blyth Shelly. Imagine trying to explain Lament to your friends in 2nd grade. I was the weird kid but it worked out till college. Even to this day, I can you what you were wearing the first time I met you and I can remember strange and obscure facts.

Of course I can't remember where my keys are or why peanut butter is in the freezer but that's neither here nor there.

[–]haydnv 8 points9 points ago

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You mean Bysshe?

[–]youshallhaveeverbeen 12 points13 points ago

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I used to be the same way. Pot pretty much took care of that.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Ya...which is why I said I was cool till college. It's still there, it's just more fuzzy or random. I can remember where I left a book six months ago, but I can't find the leash for my dog.

[–]theoryface 62 points63 points ago

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Even to this day, I can you what you were wearing the first time I met you [...]

Hey everyone, he forgot the word "remember"!

[–][deleted] 84 points85 points ago

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No, he forgot the word "tell". "Remember" doesn't make sense in that sentence.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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I didn't even notice it was missing :/

[–]jck 14 points15 points ago

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I think he accidentally the whole thing.

[–]vgocmf 3 points4 points ago

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why peanut butter is in the freezer

Mine's in the fridge, but there's a perfectly good reason for that. I'd love to know how yours ends up in the freezer, but I'm sure you would too.

[–]Lockwood 1 point2 points ago

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My parents told me, and I vaguely remember, that when I was 3-6 I was able to name the composer of classical songs that I heard, no matter where it was and whether or not I've heard that particular piece before, as long as it was Bach, Mozart, Beethoven or Brahms that wrote it, I would yell out in my little kid voice "BACH! Mommy that's BACH!"

[–]ArthurTrollington 332 points333 points ago

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Well, no molesting that one!

[–]splattypus 144 points145 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ why is that the first place you went?

[–]wascurious 69 points70 points ago

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It's as if he checked OP's kid off his list

[–]splattypus 10 points11 points ago

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well at least he has a list. it will make him easier to catch and prosecute.

[–]wascurious 13 points14 points ago

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My son doesn't have such a great memory but he has been trained in self defense and is freakishly strong.

[–]splattypus 46 points47 points ago

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does he have...how should i phrase this...tard strength?

[–]SkaMateria 33 points34 points ago

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Subtle. Very subtle.

[–]splattypus 12 points13 points ago

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there was no politically correct way to ask about the phenomenon commonly known as tard strength. i honestly took some time to think about it. and i dont even like being PC, but i try from time to time.

[–]wascurious 4 points5 points ago

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Let's say that he can tap into his inner tard when needed.

[–]picturethat 13 points14 points ago

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come on buddy

[–]ArthurTrollington 61 points62 points ago

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No, I'm serious. You absolutely should not molest that one.

[–]splattypus 4 points5 points ago

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just looking out for us, right?

[–]ArthurTrollington 9 points10 points ago

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I try to do my part.

[–]blikket 5 points6 points ago*

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I'm finishing PhD work in cognitive development--memory isn't my specialty, but I thought this info might help. This sounds like extraordinary memory, but not like your typical "photographic" or "eidetic" memory. Eidetic memory (which is pretty common in children) usually refers to an ability to study something briefly and then reproduce it in great detail. Your son hosing you on the memory app would maybe fall into this category, but the rest of it sounds like superior "autobiographical memory"--memory for your life story, for meaningful personal events. This difference might be something to keep in mind while you're having your son evaluated.

For a very small number of people (like 5 in the whole world, maybe), autobiographical memory is so good that it's like an ongoing movie in their mind. This is called "hyperthymesia." I've never heard of hyperthymesia in children, but who knows...again, just something to find out about. (If you look up a woman named Jill Price, you can read more about the topic.)

The thing that really struck me is your son's use of "yesterday." 3-year-old kids suck at time (seriously, they often confuse the past and future), so using "yesterday" to mean "in the past" isn't surprising. But since people with exceptional autobiographical memories can often tell you exactly WHEN something happened, I wonder if your son is using "yesterday" to try to express a particular day/date/time in the past, and just doesn't (as you suggest) have the vocabulary to do so. Just a theory, but maybe look into it. One thing you could find out is whether he can tell you the order in which things happened to him. If he can, it would be evidence for an outstanding autobiographical memory.

Finally, depending on how things go with your doctor, you might consider seeking out university researchers in developmental psychology or neuroscience. (Jim McGaugh at UC Irvine is an expert in hyperthymesia.) They can help you identify what's up, and can probably help put you in touch with other people/parents who are in the same situation.

You sound like an awesome dad with a cool-ass kid. Good luck!

edit: exactly how old was your son the first time he saw buzz lightyear at disney world?

[–]imneuromancer 6 points7 points ago

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He is unstuck in time. His name isn't Billy Pilgrim, is it?

[–]PECOTA 14 points15 points ago

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I was like this growing up, and I still am - I can remember pretty much everything. The best advice I can give you is treat him as normal. Don't make a big deal of it, encourage him as you would any kid. He'll do well in school without really trying, but he'll still need to develop a work ethic to be successful. Make sure you encourage this, and don't let him coast on his abilities.

[–]taxlawyer12 6 points7 points ago

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I might have some helpful comments as someone with an eidetic/nearly eidetic memory.

First of all, make sure you are exposing him to reading material early early early. I taught myself to read when I was around 4 and having a year's head start was a huge boon going forward. And if you speak foreign languages, speak them to him. Also, as for musical ability, now is the only time a child can possibly develop perfect pitch. You should be exposing him to music as much as possible if you want to hone that ability.

Second, if he truly has as good a memory as you say he does, school will be easy potentially all the way through college. A great memory can be a huge hindrance in the sense that he may be able to get well into adulthood without ever developing a work ethic. Make him get a job at 16, if not earlier. I've been very successful in my life but once I hit law school and had open book exams in which memorization was not very helpful, I found the transition very difficult. Those who had worse memories than I did had an easier time transitioning because they had already developed better work habits and were already having to get by on their wits. Do NOT confuse memory with intelligence. Challenge him as much as you can to keep him on his toes. Enroll him in gifted classes; send him to the best schools you can; and do everything you can to keep him sharp. Though, obviously weigh this against social needs (i.e., don't home school him unless you want to raise a freakshow)

One sidenote, the stories you relate do not necessarily mean that he has eidetic memory, as far as I can tell. I wonder if he just happens to have a really good memory that is selective enough that it would fool you into believing him eidetic. Do other parents note how unusual his behavior is? I ask not because I doubt you but parents do have a tendency to assume that their children have special abilities even when it's not necessarily outside the norm.

Finally, I should note as a big caveat that, while I had a really good memory as a child, I don't have kids of my own and I've certainly never had to raise a gifted child. This advice is based on my own experiences but your mileage may vary. Good luck.

Oh and don't play trivial pursuit with him. My parents learned that when I was 15 or so after I accidentally memorized an entire box of Genus IV.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

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Don't ever let him close to 4chan. If he can remember everything he will be fucked.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Interesting article about a woman who never forgets anything.

[–]CAPSLOCKMAKESITTRUE 5 points6 points ago

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AND HOW CAN THIS BE? FOR HE IS THE KWISATZ HADERACH!!!!

[–]shardsofcrystal 3 points4 points ago

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I remember I had this book with tape I really liked. My parents thought I was reading it, but I had actually just memorized the tape and the points at which to turn the page.

[–]aeter26 4 points5 points ago

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Similar story, but without the tape. I think I was two, but I had a favorite book that my dad read to me often (multiple times everyday). Over time, I memorized the shape his mouth made, and since there was only like once sentence (at the most 15 words) on each page, I eventually memorized the entire sequence, page turns and all. My parents thought I was reading when I picked up the book myself and seemed to be mouthing the words and turning the pages at the appropriate times. They were ecstatic, but they gave me other books and all I would ever do was stare blankly at the new pages and then color all over them, and realized pretty quickly that I wasn't reading.

[–]timedurp 19 points20 points ago

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  • As he ages, teach him to be tolerant of other people who don't remember things. He needs to know that even though something is important, sometimes people just forget it. He will have difficulty understanding that not everyone has the same memory as him.

  • Chances are he will have emotional difficulties with people due to not letting go, so you should also have a goal to teach him to be forgiving and understanding. Instruct him to always go with the most flattering interpretation, and it may help.

  • In the future, his memory may become an important asset to him if it sticks around. But don't focus on it as the thing that makes him special, though. He needs to know that his memory is just a small part of who he is.

  • If he has things that he wants to forget, associating forgetting with a physical process may help. Or it may not. But it will at least help him to learn to put it out of the forefront of his mind. If he does learn to forget, instruct him to be careful of what he forgets. I really don't know when it would be best to learn this, though.

  • Finally, memorization is not the same as comprehension. Cover both, but if he retains his memory, emphasize the need to analyze and catalog the things he remembers.

[–]elguffer 3 points4 points ago

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  1. Take him to a casino
  2. Go to the Blackjack table
  3. ????
  4. PROFIT!!!!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Your son is most likely NOT autistic. People with autism don't necessarily have this kind of memory. This is a separate condition. Just google "people who remember everything." You will find many stories of people with insane memories. However, you most certainly need to see a doctor about this. This condition can be very frustrating for people who possess it because they can't forget minor things and their head starts bursting from all their memories. Being able to forget is more useful than you would think. Note: Keep in mind that your son may just have a good memory. You may be exaggerating his abilities because of a few incidents.

[–]DanielTaylor 3 points4 points ago

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Avoid computers and videogames at an early age. Now's the time to go out, explore the world, play in the woods with his parents or just play at home with real touchable toys. Anything virtual will end up hurting him in the long term.

And if you ever have the chance to move to a calm town, next to the woods or the beach. Do it.

[–]wlmafia 3 points4 points ago

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FWIW My daughter is exactly the same as you are describing your son (just turned 3 in May). Memory of an elephant. Refers to things that happened years ago as "yesterday". She has a better memory than me for sure. I just treat her normal and tell myself there are plenty of children out there that are smart and she is one of them.

[–]TheJulie 3 points4 points ago

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Sounds something like hyperthymesia (intense autobiographical memory) to me.

Kids have such a weak grasp on the concept of time that the "yesterday" thing is probably just a product of being so young (it's one reason why kids are so impatient - 5 minutes ago feels like 4 hours ago feels like 2 days ago to them).

[–]mrgreen4242 4 points5 points ago

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My son is 28 months old and while I can't say he's shown the same sort of memory, he does seem to recall the most trivial things, and he is enough younger that his verbal skills aren't nearly as good as a 3.5 year old.

My point is that kids have incredible minds. They soak things up far, far faster than we could probably even imagine doing now. It's possible he has some form of a "photographic memory", but it's also possible that he's a kid and they just have amazing minds for learning and remembering.

[–]thebarwench 10 points11 points ago

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thats awesome..better watch what you do and say around this one...if he has that good of a memory start giving him flash cards with presidents, states, ect.

[–]bobblerable[S] 21 points22 points ago

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Funny you mention that, we downloaded a "memory" iphone app. It's the kind where the cards are are flipped upside down and you select two at a time. When you get a match, they're paired up and moved off the board.

He can complete a round of 64 cards in about 90 seconds, which is faster than I can.

[–]cyco 5 points6 points ago

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Or better yet, a foreign language (suggested above), or the periodic table, or multiplication cards... I learned all the states/capitals as a kid, it's a fun party trick but not particularly useful

[–]ItsFatz 4 points5 points ago

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It seems fairly obvious that He's stolen your diary, is fucking with you, and about to comment now that his ruse has been brought to daylight.

[–]looky_loo 2 points3 points ago

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I wonder how many posters are parents. Your son sounds lovely with a good sense of humour. But perfectly within the range of normal. Young kids have spooky memories. The only thing that raised my eyebrows in this story was the horseradish.

[–]JayJay729 2 points3 points ago

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Looks like you will be able to retire early thanks to your offspring...

[–]Scipion 2 points3 points ago

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Sounds like your son may have a super power. Try very hard not to give him the "Uncle Ben" speech followed by getting shot.

[–]roboticc 2 points3 points ago

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I'm going to chime in with a dissenting opinion. What you describe does not sound like it's outside the range of normal behavior for a young child. Although it may seem extraordinary to you, it's almost certainly normal. In any case, it's not something you have to worry about. Here's why.

Young children have an extraordinary capacity for memory storage and recall because their brains are still in a developmental stage. They're remembering things, everything, because their brains are still plastic; it's still determining what's worth remembering and what's not. You and I, as older individuals, have already primed our brains to distinguish important and non-important facts and events and we correspondingly discard most of what we take in every day. This is an advantage for children, since the brain can be flexible and can adapt to a wide range of situations it will encounter in future life. It seems amazing to us that children will recall what appear to us to be inconsequential facts or events, because we have no reason to remember them. But it's because our brains have learned that these facts are unimportant, and we don't store them actively in our long-term memory. Events that seem unimportant to you and not worth remembering may appear dramatically important from your son's perspective, or more accurately, from his brain's perspective.

The behavior you're describing will stop as your son gets older, and it's a normal part of childhood.

I suspect your pediatrician will tell you exactly what I've told you; you can have your child's memory and IQ tested to determine if he's gifted or on the upper end of the memory spectrum, but nothing you describe sounds particularly abnormal.

As an additional note, children will forget most of what happens below age five; traumas are the exception (because the brain considers these events important to future survival!). Don't expect him to remember his 1-year-old trip to Disneyland when he's seven or eight, unless you keep bringing it up!

[–]ajehals 2 points3 points ago*

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I have a 7 year old who did/does essentially the same, although it seems that it is passing to some degree. He has amazing recall for things he is interested in now, but is still quite capable of discussing events since he was about 1, although things have started to run together. Spatially he has fantastic recall, if we go back to somewhere we haven't been for years, he can quite happily navigate to the places we went, he can also recall in some (occasionally ludicrous) detail as to what happened or what was said. On occasion it is startling, he watched a program a couple of months ago and we re-watched it yesterday (I hadn't seen it the first time), he was completing the lines of the presenters left right and center.

That said, he can't 'remember' what he has done at school 5 minutes after I pick him up and he has started to conflate memories about other things.

So it may be a gift, or it may well be a normal developmental thing in some kids... My son is fairly normal in every other way and his memory is definitely getting more selective, he loves science and maths and will remember all sorts of facts if they are relevant to his interests (He was going on and on about an African mouse by it's 'proper name' recently, I had to look it up to find out what it was...).

Anyway, do what you think is best, but whatever you do try not to get overly medical with things, everyone on the pediatric side seems to like jumping on the mental health bandwagon for anything.

Oh, and my 5 year old acts fairly similarly, except he isn't as good spatially (although he can tell you what song he heard last week over breakfast..) and tends to remember things he made up as being real on a regular basis (which makes it harder to tell what he is getting at some of the time).

[–]spit334 2 points3 points ago

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My sister had similar traits when she was younger - but not quite as pronounced. She would very often surprise us with things that even we didn't remember from weeks-years ago. It was downright shocking sometimes. However, it dulled - for better or for worse. She is just another snotty nosed kid now.

On an amusing side note, my father has an uncanny ability to be able to win stuffed animals from those claw games. He has won a ridiculous amount of stuffed animals for her. Somehow, she is able to remember where each and every (talking 100+) stuffed animal was won.

[–]DecafDesperado 2 points3 points ago

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He might be really gifted, or he might just be three and unusual right now. His brain is growing fast and it isn't stuffed full of rote memorization of things like multiplication tables yet. And little kids can do some amazing things sometimes that don't always carry over into adulthood.

I mean, look how amazing just being a human child is, objectively. These are little beings capable of picking up thousands of unique words that share the same sounds within just a couple of months, while at the same time learning feats of balance and coordination and absorbing intangibles like social expectations. In order to grow up into functioning adults, children have to have brains like sponges. Your child seems to be using all that brainpower in a unique way, but beware of thinking it's anything besides just one interesting facet of his personality.

Just love him for who he is and if he shows an interest in taking music lessons later in life, find him a nurturing instructor who will focus on enjoyment and letting him push himself.

If the memory ability sticks with him as he grows up, make sure he learns good study habits too rather than just depending on that. Eventually if he goes on to higher education he will need to study independently, not just memorize class material, and he may struggle if he's relied on an unusual gift up to that point. Many gifted kids suddenly hit a wall in college because they coasted through all of their prior education without trying, and suddenly they have no idea how to manage their time wisely or take notes or skim a textbook chapter before reading deeply or anything like that.