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[–]Yserbius 176 points177 points ago

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My mom was waiting in line by the check in counter for a flight. Two 14 year old ran up, looked at the huge line and tried to cut in front. One kid made it and my mom moved her suitcase to block the second kid. The first kid starts motioning and shouting to his friend. The kid next to my mom shouts back, "I would but this stupid ***** isn't letting me".

[–][deleted] 251 points252 points ago* 

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Did you lay down the hurt? I would have, I don't give a shit if he's 14, he's old enough to know that he might get smacked for that shit.

-edit- For you downvoters, I am being facetious. I would not hurt a child, but I would lay down the hurt verbally if they said something like that to my mother, father, brothers, friends or even a stranger. A good scolding.

[–]k1down 136 points137 points ago

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Fuckit. just punch him in the face.

[–]twinspop 127 points128 points ago* 

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Aug 2001. Boarding a Southwest cattle-call flight. We were about 1/3 down from the front. We're in the tube and we hear commotion behind us. A pair of women are pushing passed everyone. No one's stopping them. My brother-in-law and I look at each other and think the same thing: fuck them. So, together with our wives, we make a wall, blocking their access to cut any more.

The pair arrive behind us and start yelling various obscenities at us. "You can wait in line like everyone else," I said. I was in an orange shirt and I shave my head. She looks at me and says "you! you probably just escaped from prison!" I guess that passes for smack. The 2 of them banter back and forth in their native tongues, before cursing at us some more.

They're still going at it as we get into the cabin. We get seated. As they pass by, she looks at my wife and shouts "And your wife! She doesn't even have any breasts! Hardly a woman!" (My wife just laughs.) Some more back and forth, but they eventually find seats further back.

About 2 minutes later a flight attendant stops at our chairs to ask what was going on. We tell her, the people behind us nod their heads. A few moments later the two women were escorted by us on their way off the plane.

We got free drinks on the flight. "everything went better than expected"

  • grammar

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Nick4753 26 points27 points ago

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Illegal in Australia evidently

[–]IAreSeriousCat 296 points297 points ago* 

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This probably isn't the rudest thing - that dubious honor probably goes to whoever dropped trou and took a pretty large shit on the floor of my store's bathroom - but it's up there.

A couple of years ago I was working as a barista at a bookstore cafe. One weekend I tore up my foot playing with my goddaughter, so I ended up on crutches. Running a busy espresso bar is actually pretty physical work for a food service job, so my coworkers and I decided that I would sit on a bar chair behind the counter and run the cash register.

So. I'm sitting on my chair and a woman comes up to order her drink. I take her order and tell her that [Coworker] will have her drink up in a minute. She gave me the nastiest look and said "why can't you just make it now?" I opened my mouth to explain, and she cut me off. "I don't want to hear any excuses for your laziness, I just want my drink." Keep in mind that, while I had grown tired of explaining my injury to every single customer about a day and a half earlier, my crutches were still clearly visible behind the counter.

I am an experienced enough retailer to know how to handle these situations in the most personally satisfying way. I put on my best Contrite Servant face, said "yes, of course Ma'am, I'm very sorry, I'll make it for you right away," grabbed my crutches and struggled laboriously to my feet. "It'll just take a second, why don't you sit down and wait? I'll call your name when it's ready." The look on her face was absolutely priceless.

Turns out that it's really hard to make a blended coffee drink and hold your crutches in place, so I actually did have to put weight on my foot. It really hurt, so my wincing as I handed her the drink was genuine. She looked thoroughly embarrassed - probably because she noticed the three or four regulars giving her the evil eye - and she didn't even apologize before booking it out of the store, never to be seen again.

[–]Abe_Vigoda 216 points217 points ago

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Petty revenge is one of the most satisfying things about retail.

[–]IAreSeriousCat 13 points14 points ago

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Yeah...the one or two times a week where you're in a position to really help someone and they're genuinely thrilled are nice and all, but they aren't nearly enough to make it worthwhile.

[–]Dax420 86 points87 points ago

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I never understood someone being rude to the person that is about to prepare food for you. Do these people like eating snot/spit/shit covered food?

[–]tomyownrhythm 15 points16 points ago

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I have a personal policy: I never fuck with people who can impact my food, my finances, my travel, or my lodging. All of these people have the power to royally fuck up my day and deserve respect for the shit they get from everyone else. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten some sort of extra service or attention because I was nice earlier in a transaction.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 303 points304 points ago

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I'd say he's doing a good job marketing the event.

[–]heffocheffefer 115 points116 points ago

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True, now everyone on Reddit knows about some hip hop event!

[–]halcyonjm 79 points80 points ago

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"Oh my darling, PHILLIP J. FRY, I'm so excited to be going to SOME HIP HOP EVENT."

[–]sol1 986 points987 points ago

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I'm clearly late to the game and doubt this will get read, but this was the most rude/awesome event I've witnessed. I was driving to work and got in line to make a left turn behind a brand new red BMW M3 convertible with the top down. The light's red and while we're waiting this guy proceeds to throw his soda cup out the window into the bushes in the median followed by at least two fast food bags and a handful of what looked like gum wrappers. I was fuming, but it was a guy in an old, beat-up minivan that had pulled on the right of the M3 at the light that had the last laugh. He took his own, what looked like a 64oz Super Big Gulp cup, took the top off and splashed the soda into the convertible, threw the cup at the Bimmer driver and sped off when the light turned green. Greatest environment justice I've ever witnessed.

Edit: grammar

[–]killercacti 192 points193 points ago

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that's awesome!

i have a similar but much less awesome story: a few years ago i was at a gas station, filling my car up. i was sitting inside my car because it was cold outside. some teenage kid pulls by, waiting for a parking space, and throws a soda can out the window. i blew my horn and him and pointed at the can...he got out of his car and picked it up. ha!

[–]sevvv 74 points75 points ago* 

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That's great! I would have been so embarrassed if I was that kid. Once I was in the back seat of a car of this girl a buddy of mine was trying to set me up with. She handed me a Mc Donalds bag and asked me to throw it out the window. When I said, "no" and she asked me why in the nerdiest voice ever I said "because I respect the environment.. and stuff."

I did not get that date.

[–]AMerrickanGirl 97 points98 points ago

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And probably escaped a very lousy relationship. The earth thanks you!

[–]Krases 25 points26 points ago

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You know how it goes.

"Throw that garbage out the window"

"Let me borrow your car"

"Don't pull out"

"Pay child support"

"Could you drop my boyfriend off at work".

[–]michal77 1004 points1005 points ago* 

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It was last year at one of the smaller London airports (Luton or Stansted, I don't remember). The queue to the security check-in (metal detector gates) was very long, doubling back on itself 10 times or more, in total it was about 30 minutes wait.

Everybody was waiting patiently, except those three German guys. They passed under the ropes and forced themselves into the queue about 5 persons from the checkpoint, just before me. When I politely admonished them (is this the right word? sorry, I'm not a native English speaker), I was told to fuck off. That was enough.

They went through the metal detector and one of them was being patted down by security officer while two other were waiting. I called quietly one of the officers at my side of the gate and told him that I know German a little bit, and heard that those three guys were talking about hiding something well to get it through the security.

20 seconds later they were taken away for questioning and, I hope, for a little bit of good old anal probing. Don't know what happened next. I was simultaneously a little bit ashamed of my action, and very content with the outcome.

(edit: grammar)

[–][deleted] 973 points974 points ago

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That is bizarre. I have never heard of Germans forcing their way into someplace they don't belong.

[–]Pinhedd 203 points204 points ago

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you owe me a new keyboard

[–][deleted] 500 points501 points ago

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Dude... You fapped to THAT?!?

[–]dropkickdog 164 points165 points ago

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you owe me a new keyboard

[–]eleitl 249 points250 points ago

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You are a hero.

[–]atomicthumbs 156 points157 points ago

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QueueMan

[–]SexualHarasmentPanda 376 points377 points ago

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Queue Man

Fighter of the Cut Man

Champion of the chain

You’re a master of order and friendship…for everyone

[–]wdw25 76 points77 points ago

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aaaahhh-ahh-aaaahhh!

[–]bgtees 32 points33 points ago

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rhythmic overhead hand clap
clap clap clap clap

[–][deleted] 54 points55 points ago

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Fighter of the Ger-men!

[–]stocksy 28 points29 points ago

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If this is even partially true, I love you. Possibly even if you are a man.

[–]michal77 22 points23 points ago

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I'm a man, lol, and it's true. I was exhausted after a week of work in London, I was annoyed with the long queue and those guys were self-important and rude. I didn't think long before I did what I did...

[–]daychilde 160 points161 points ago

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You have very little cause for concern about your command of the English language. You're better than many native speakers, and if it wasn't for a very few odd turns of phrase (which are all grammatically quite correct and perfectly comprehensible, just slightly unusual), I'd assume you were a native speaker. (Only reassuring you on this point since you expressed the disclaimer that you weren't a native speaker; so I mean to say you have absolutely no worries on that point)

"Admonished" is the right word.

Also, I share your contentment with the outcome. :-)

[–]michal77 71 points72 points ago

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Could you please elaborate a bit on those odd turns of phrase? I'm always looking for an improvement... Thanks :-)

[–]daychilde 176 points177 points ago

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Now, bear in mind that I can only speak from my subset of American language experience, with one exception: I've been involved with Simutrans (a freeware game) for several years, and we have a large community of non-native English speakers. In particular, since the game's origin is German, I notice some phrasing that I've come to associate specifically with German non-native English speakers.

Also, as I said, your English is excellent. :)

So, having said that, the things I noticed from your previous message (some of which might be phrasings more common to other countries that speak English, so some might reply to me, "That's not odd!"):

"except those three German guys" - Actually, it should probably be "these" three German guys. I don't think I can articulate the reason why very well, because it's very subtle and has nothing directly to do with the definitions of the words, but I'll try: "Those" would imply that we, the readers, are already aware of the guys. However, once we're aware of the guys, you can use either "these" or "those".

"They passed under the ropes" absolutely works, but "passed" is an unusual choice. Perhaps "ducked" or "snuck" or even "moved" or "went" ("went" is a little awkward, but does sound like a native speaker's awkward word choice... hehe)

Oops, just noticed a small mistake after all, in the third paragraph: "while two others were waiting". :)

"I called quietly one of the officers" - this is a good example. Perfectly fine construct, but at least in American English, not one that comes naturally. "I quietly called one of the officers" would be the phrasing. I might see something like "I called quietly out to him", though, which makes it confusing, I"m sure. :)

"I know German a little bit" - better would be "I know a little bit of German" - again, a subtle preference for the order of things... it's not wrong, just subtly grabs my attention.

"hiding something well" - easiest would be to drop the "well". Not sure why I find that word awkward. Perhaps "hiding something carefully" would work.

"ashamed of my action" - technically, you performed multiple actions, but there's room for debate here.

I didn't point out a couple of comma errors that I spotted; and I really must reiterate that, minor mistakes aside (chances are I've made more than you in this message), your knowledge of English is very thorough. I wish my fellow native speakers all had your command of the language — it would make my life a happier thing. :)

[–]michal77 89 points90 points ago

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Wow. Great feedback, thank you. I'm Polish btw. Cheers :)

[–][deleted] 92 points93 points ago

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  • None.

I just wanted to thank both of you. michal77, for learning English and doing it so well. daychilde, for helping to make English an even friendlier lingua franca.

Remember everyone, if we're nice enough to the non-native speakers, we might just be able to duck out of learning other languages. ;)

[–]psilocyber 36 points37 points ago

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Very agreed on the first point - when he said "those three German guys" I actually restarted the reading to see where they had been previously mentioned because of the use of "those".

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Edmuresay 181 points182 points ago

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First thing that opped into my head.

After getting my first traffic ticket I had to go to traffic court. I was a minor, so I had to have my dad with me. My dad is a very punctual person, and for this court day we got up extra early to be the first people in line.

Anyways, were the first in line waiting patiently and by this time the line has grown to be very large. This old woman and her husband slowly walk up (in view of everyone) and just casually cut everyone in line.

Me being introverted and rather shy did not say anything, however, I can see my dad get instantly pissed. He goes (rather loudly), "Excuse me, lady. This is America. And in America WE STAND IN LINES. Now get to the back of the line where you belong." She gets this shocked look on her face and says, "You're an ASS!" to my father. My father replies, "I'm an honest ass. Back of the line."

I was incredibly embarassed but then a bunch of people clapped for my dad and completely embarassed the shit out of that old lady. I guess my dad just had the stones to put into words what everyone in that line was thinking.

[–]jhra 161 points162 points ago

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Reminds me of a Dead Like Me quote:

Rube: (to a hurried woman who sees an acquaintance in line at the post office and moves in line next to her) "I have a question for you... is everyone in this line an asshole? "

Woman in Post Office: "Excuse me? "

Rube: "Is everyone you just cut in front of an asshole?"

Woman in Post Office: "No."

Rube: "So it's just you then? "

Woman in Post Office: "I have children in the car."

Rube: "I have a cake in the oven." (Rube pointing at people in line) " He's got three minutes left on the meter. And she's got a lunch meeting. We all have a finite amount of time. Now get in the back of the line. And don't use your children like that - it's shameful. "

[–]Edmuresay 12 points13 points ago

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Thanks for that awesome dialogue. Seriously. Thanks.

[–]RobbStark 16 points17 points ago

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Do yourself a favor and watch Dead Like Me. One of the best shows on television, it's a pity there were only two seasons...

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

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give your dad a high five for me.

[–]ShrimpCrackers 324 points325 points ago* 

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In China, many toddlers wear butt-less pants so they just shit anywhere as opposed to using diapers like in more developed nations. The worst was during a moving bus where the mom popped open the window, stuck the ass of her child out, and the kid proceeded to poop out the window. Still stunk up the bus.

[–]affix 158 points159 points ago

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Do they come in adult sizes?

[–]blazemaster 129 points130 points ago

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[–]Kaith 90 points91 points ago

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W-Wh-Why did I click that?

[–]makubex 181 points182 points ago

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What the fuck, China?

[–]flobin 83 points84 points ago

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Wow. Learn something new every day.

[–]qiaoshiya 107 points108 points ago

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I was in Beijing in 2005, and I noticed that on the sidewalk every 100 meters or so there were nice little green-space cutouts with a small tree growing. I thought, how nice, they're cleaning up this shithole for the Olympics. Then I noticed all the butt-less panted bastards dropping trou to shit in the green-spaces. They were basically public litter boxes for the little shits.

[–]option_30 15 points16 points ago

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I worked in a grocery store, and one day an Asian lady was shopping with her baby in the cart. Without even hesitating she took the baby out of the cart, set him on top of the corn bin and changed his diaper. Right there on top of fresh produce. Once finished, she took the dirty diaper and threw it in the corn husk bin. As a result, all of the corn had to be thrown out. Needless to say, I was shocked and disgusted.

[–][deleted] 516 points517 points ago

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The last time I told a couple in a theater to please be quiet, the girl flipped me off and the guy tried staring me down. When it continued I got up and left to get a manager (I payed $12 to see this movie and dammit I will see it). I barely made it out the door when I hear a "Hey!" turned around, and the guy (of the relationship) got in my face, shoved me, and told me how I shouldn't be making trouble for him and his girl.

An usher saw it happen and told the guy to leave or she'd call the cops. The guy goes to get in her face when his girlfriend comes out and throws a bitch fit about how I am ruining the movie for her and doing nothing but causing her and her boyfriend troubles. "We just wanted a good date night!", "How dare you!" etc etc.

The usher left to get the manager, who told the couple they had to leave and that he was calling the cops (he pulled out his cell phone and everything).

In the end, they left and I got a refund plus a pass for a free movie for my troubles.

[–]obelisk45 196 points197 points ago

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I love happy endings.

[–]Anthaneezy 197 points198 points ago

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usually gotta pay extra for that

[–]Applesauces 410 points411 points ago

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Maybe i'm a dick, but I love it when loud people get kicked out of movie theaters.

I remember when Matrix 2 came out and I was waiting in line with friends behind a bunch of (10+) loud, high school kids. When the movie started those damn kids wouldn't shut their mouths.

It didn't bother me that much until that weird, underground orgy scene started and all those annoying virgins started squealing and talking as loud as they could. Eventually someone called the manager and all ten kids were marched out of the theater in single file. The best part was when one of the loud ones said "Man! I've been waiting in line since 8 am!"

Actually, now that I think about it, Matrix 2 never came out, this story is a lie.

[–][deleted] 118 points119 points ago

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An idiotic couple like this was sitting behind me in the cinema last week. The guy was being a total jackass and his gal kept giggling at everything he did.

I find that when the girl is sane the guy will avoid being an ass (out of fear of rejection from a half sensible girl). Unfortunately when 2 jackasses come together there's no stopping them. What makes me even more sad is the thought that those 2 jackasses will mate to spawn a super jackass, thus disrupting the gene-pool further.

[–]daddyyankee 47 points48 points ago

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super-jackass, unfortunately becoming a common breed nowadays.

[–]blueboybob 106 points107 points ago

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I was waiting for the part where you get stabbed in the neck.

[–]PootyT 61 points62 points ago* 

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what is it with people being so fucking offended when asked to not talk during a movie?? i've basically stopped going to movies at big theatres because i got physically threatened when requesting that someone STOP TALKING ON HER CELL PHONE DURING THE MOVIE. that wasn't the first time, and i always asked nicely. you know, we're living in a society here...

edit: grammar!

[–]ninkendo 77 points78 points ago

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I think it's because you're asking politely.

I'm a firm believer that people are more likely to just talk back at you if you ask nicely. Trying to sound polite to a fucking tween at a movie theater is not the way to be heard and understood. Make your voice sound authoritative and say, with confidence, "SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH."

I mean think about it. Say you're the one talking on a cellphone at a movie theater. Do you think then, that you're the type of person who will be impressed by politeness? Do you think a person like this will think to themselves "Boy, they sure did ask nicely. I'll put the phone away." Hell no.

Your overall objective should be to try and embarass the person on the phone as much as possible. Anything you can do to make it seem like everyone in the theater wants them off their phone is a good thing.

[–]MsgGodzilla 27 points28 points ago

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I once kicked out 4 full rows of kids from the movie theatre I worked at in high school. The movie was Signs on friday night sold out theatre of like 350 people. After 4 different complaints and 3 warnings, I go out in front of the theatre fully packed and I'm like "Rows 3,4,5,6. Get the hell out of my movie theatre. dead silence I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT! NOW! *cheers erupt * Slow march out of the building. I loved it.

One of the only good parts about that job.

[–]roland19d 19 points20 points ago* 

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[–]jammbin 582 points583 points ago* 

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I was waiting for the bus one day which was notoriously packed in the morning for people trying to get to campus. There was a blind girl waiting with her dog and her cane so it was very clear that she was blind. When the bus pulled up everyone started rushing around her and trying to get on the bus first and she was just kind of standing there moving her cane around while people were stepping over it and in front of her.

I moved behind her and told her she could get on the bus, and the driver asked if someone could give up their seat for her. Everyone just sat with their iPods in or looking at the ground. I was still standing behind her and she was feeling around for a seat that someone might have gotten up from. Finally some girl freaked out because she touched her arm and ran to the back of the bus.

I just couldn't believe all of those people cut her in line and wouldn't give her their seat, and that they weren't talking or trying to help. They were just in their own worlds not wanting to be 'inconvenienced.' It also really bothered me that no one SAID anything to her to help her out, she was blind, not deaf! I wanted to punch every person in the face. If I had been that girl I would have just started hitting people with my cane, but she was so patient.

[–][deleted] 331 points332 points ago

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Sounds like a bus full of dicks to me.

[–]williamTrufus 356 points357 points ago

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i agree, but now have a strange mental picture stuck in my head.

[–]fdat 96 points97 points ago

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Why do people find it so hard to stand for 15 or 20 minutes? I prefer standing. I sit all day at work.

[–]platkat 56 points57 points ago

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Too bad she wasn't on the helpful bus.

[–]Applesauces 798 points799 points ago

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The rudest thing I've done:

I was sitting outside my apartment building smoking a cigarette when a random overweight guy walking into the building carrying a McDonalds bag and tells me:

"You know smoking causes heart disease right?"

Considering I was in a pretty bad mood i shot back.

"You know else causes heart disease? Being really fat."

[–]PuppyAttack 432 points433 points ago

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I once had a fat person demand my seat on a bus (it was full) because of their weight. I was on crutches at the time....

[–]C0lMustard 240 points241 points ago

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I forget the comedian, but he wanted to know why we are giving obese people handicapped spots right next to the Mall, instead give them the spaces as far away as possible... it solves the problem instead.

[–]chromolume7 236 points237 points ago

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I am a smoker. I NEVER drop my butts on the ground and if/when I smoke in public I make a point of secluding myself from anyone nearby and only smoking in designated areas.

I have seen people walk a long distance and cross busy streets in order to stand next to me and tell they're killing me with secondhand smoke. Sigh...

[–][deleted] 210 points211 points ago

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As a nonsmoker, thank you very much for being considerate of us.

[–]DuManchu 76 points77 points ago* 

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I am a very courteous smoker and will often go WELL out of the way to make sure I'm not bothering people with my habit. There was a time I was out at dinner in a ritzier suburb and I went outside to have a smoke. I walked out the front door, around the corner, then around the back of the restaurant upwind (the wind was blowing towards me from the direction of the doors) of the entrance.

While I was enjoying my smoke, I had several people stare at me and cough VERY loudly as if I was somehow giving them lung cancer right then and there. It wasn't even possible for the smoke to have reached them anyway.

I don't know what it is about smoking that makes people think they can be assholes to you. Thanks, but I don't need a lesson on why smoking is bad, I KNOW it's killing me, now kindly shut up and move along.

[–]shockfactor 17 points18 points ago

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Just smile and wave

[–]suprxtragrav 363 points364 points ago

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I'm almost inclined to say that he kind of deserved it for not minding his own business.

/iamnotasmoker

[–]Frigorific 192 points193 points ago

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And for being a gigantic hypocrite. Obesity is just as much a behavioral health problem as smoking.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE WHALE! BREAK YOUR BACKS AND CRACK YOUR OARS MEN IF YOU WISH TO PREVAIL! THIS IVORY LEG IS WHAT PROPELS ME, HARPOONS THRUST IN THE SKY! AIM DIRECTLY FOR HIS CROOKED BROW AND LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE! WHITE WHALE; HOLY GRAIL!!!

[–]AnnArchist 78 points79 points ago

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that was not rude, that was good advice. the guy bitching about you smoking was being rude. Unsolicited advice= rude

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

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I believe the Jaime Oliver TED talk quoted that obesity is killing people faster than smoking. Food for thought I guess.

[–]daychilde 93 points94 points ago

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Food for thought

ಠ_ಠ

[–]runamok 94 points95 points ago

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ಠ˛ಠ

Come on. You know you cracked a little grin.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points ago

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...and then I said, "The Jerk Store called! They're running out of you."

[–]jpodster 72 points73 points ago

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I went to a climbing area with some friends in my brand new car.

On the way in the police stopped us and asked us if we were attending the 'Prom Party'. Not being locals and it being maybe 10 or 11 am we were surprised. We parked and were surprised to see some guys, too old to be going to prom, already partying. We ignored them and went climbing.

At the end of the day, maybe 5:00 pm we headed back to the car. As we passed the guys they start yelling at us, telling us to 'go back to the flats' and stuff much more crude. We were in BC, my car had Alberta plates but all three of us had moved from Ontario not 2 months prior.

We got to the car and could smell urine. The assholes had pissed up and down my car on all of the door handles. The rage I had was nearly uncontrollable.

What was I supposed to do? There were more of them then us and they were drunk. I'm still pretty angry when I think about this.

[–]maxvcore 75 points76 points ago

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Hit them with your car. Street justice.

[–]qiaoshiya 45 points46 points ago

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Please explain this regional tension. Is it like in the US when I tell people I'm from Alabama and they assume I want to fuck my cousin, sell them Jesus, and kill those damn Darwinists?

[–]dxcotre 35 points36 points ago

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That's exactly what I assume when I hear you're from Alabama. Properly, when people hear I'm from New Jersey they assume I pump my fist, punch out midget girls, and that I'm Italian or Jewish. I am in fact Italian. And Jewish.

[–]jamesiscoolbeans 68 points69 points ago

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I was skiing at Killington a few weekends ago; my friend and I were in line waiting to get on the chairlift. We were almost next to get on, when I hear some lady behind me declare "We're next." I figure she can't be talking to us, because, she was behind us. Then she holds her ski pole up in front of my face and yells "I SAID we're next". The only comeback I had at the time was to smugly say "I don't speak english", which was perfect because she then started yelliing / having a mini hissy fit, screaming "YES YOU DO!!!!!", to which I replied "You don't know me!!"

Not by any means the rudest, but that lady sure was a bitch for not wanting to wait an extra 15 seconds for a chairlift.

[–]sirbeast 46 points47 points ago

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The minute that ski pole was in my face I would've grabbed it and yanked as hard as I could, either knocking her on her ass or snatching the ski pole away from her. Had I actually gotten it away from her I would have thrown it as far as possible.

[–]fquested 265 points266 points ago

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Spadina streetcar in Toronto. Streetcar is packed with little old chinese ladies, mothers with kids etc. Then University students start getting on. Two young morons get on and stand right at the front. When a mother in front of them gets up to leave the streetcar, they ignore all the elderly people nearby and take the seats. THEN these two guys start insulting all the 'chinks' and 'gooks', talking about people as if they couldn't hear or understand them. A very large black man moves to the front of the bus and looms over them. You can see them thinking a certain N word, but this guy was BIG, and you could see they thought better of using it, but were making unsubtle comments about fat people, etc. Big guy leans forward and they flinch, but he's just grabbing the stop indicator. They know they flinched, so start talking more trash. Big black guy turns his back to them and let loose with the vibrating ass cheeks for 7 seconds or so, and then got off the streetcar. Their faces were hilarious, and quite a few people were laughing at them.

tl;dr big guy farted on two douchebags on public transit.

[–]soothslayer 117 points118 points ago

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Someone threw a half-full beer can at a guy in a wheelchair at the chili cook-off. Neither I nor the guy in the chair saw who threw it. I was staring in amazement because I couldn't believe what just happened. The guy in the chair saw me, thought I did it, and wanted to fight. That was a pretty surreal couple of minutes.

[–]briguy57 418 points419 points ago

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That's not surreal. Surreal would be if after the guy in the wheelchair wanted to fight his chair transformed into the pink ranger's section of the megazord and when you turned to your friend to say "what the fuck" he can't respond because his mouth is filled with a soft, pink substance that flows like liquid but is solid to the touch. This all takes place on the farside of Jupiter and you were suddenly aware of a large 18th century style hat that appeared on your head.

That's fucking surreal.

[–]soothslayer 127 points128 points ago

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I stand awesomely corrected.

[–]roland19d 83 points84 points ago

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1.5 ‽

[–]suprxtragrav 213 points214 points ago* 

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There is this douche at the library at school who always uses the same stall, and when he does, he covers the seat with like half a toilet paper roll, and pisses all over it when he is finished, and does not clean up. Oh and he doesn't flush, either. So basically the stall is out of commission for the rest of the day until some poor janitor has to clean it up.

I see this almost every day. For any redditors who go to the university of alberta, check it out: Cameron library 4th floor Mens.

[–]fdat 229 points230 points ago

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If I was the janitor, I'd stake the place out one day, running in and checking after every person until you catch the guy. But I wouldn't out him then and there. I'd wait until he goes in the next day and right when he is in the middle of doing this, I'd reach over the stall and drop a pee-filled balloon on top of his head.

Well I think I would do that anyway.

[–]daychilde 84 points85 points ago

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I'm disturbed by my mental image of the most natural way to create said balloon.

[–]Ozwaldo 280 points281 points ago

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you just need a faucet-like device that produces urine. like a penis

[–]SmartAssery 130 points131 points ago

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Let us know how that works for you. I have some ideas about relative strength of pee streams and elasticity of a balloon's surface, but I'd rather someone else test that for me.

[–]color_me_impressed 50 points51 points ago

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Another reason to buy myself a forcemeter. Pissing strength contest with my friends.

[–]AnnArchist 28 points29 points ago

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upvoted in hopes that some day, some redditor will make a post with a link to both this post, a picture of the culprit and a picture of the stall.

[–]runamok 25 points26 points ago

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In general, people's inability to urinate and defecate WITHIN the proper receptacle maddens me an inordinate amount and causes me fear for the future of the human race.

We are a surprisingly small step above our simian predecessors.

[–]sw17ch 209 points210 points ago* 

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This isn't all that rude, but I find it funny:

My wife and I were making dinner last October. We have a large window over the kitchen sink facing the street. We have it open since it's a nice day. Any way, we live in a small college town and one of the local students is walking past the house.

He pulls out a 12oz can of Miller Light from his pocket (pocket beer, wtf?). Before telling the next detail, it's important to note he's walking by himself. He takes said 12oz can, pulls out his keys and jabs a nice hole in the bottom portion of the can's side wall. He then proceeds to shotgun the whole thing. Remember, he was alone... perhaps showing off to himself?

Any way, he then looks left, then right, then dumps the can in my yard.

I'm pissed, what does this jackass think he's doing? My more courageous self is trying to get the sissy side of me to yell something out the window. Well, my wife picks up here: "HEY!", she yells. The can-dropper FROZE. "PICK IT UP!"

Realizing he was caught, does an apologetic wave at the window, picks up the can, scuttles down the road...AND DUMPS IT IN MY NEIGHBOR'S YARD.

Any way, don't be a jerk. My wife is not a good person to get on the wrong side of. :)

[–][deleted] 180 points181 points ago

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Freshman year of college, was going through the drive-through with my then-roommate. A car parked on the parking lot threw their trash/meal out of the window. I immediately hopped out of the car and walked over, and threw it right back onto the passenger's lap (the driver's girlfriend, apparently), saying, "You dropped this." The dude was inexplicably unhappy. Dunno wtf his problem was.

[–]acreddited 91 points92 points ago

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AND DUMPS IT IN MY NEIGHBOR'S YARD.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

[–]radioflyerx 22 points23 points ago

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This is one of the best reasons for having a wife.

[–]sw17ch 119 points120 points ago

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Funny story about how bad-ass/awesome my wife is:

One of our first "date's" (college, no money, etc) just involved walking around the campus sometime after dusk. We're walking through a parking lot and she says, "want to see something cool?"

I'm thinking, sure, why not so, I say "sure, why not?"

At which point, she grabs my arm, throws me over her hip and (somehow) gently drops me face-up on the pavement... and that's the story about how I learned my eventual-wife was a black-belt. It was awesome. Also, I don't trust her when she asks if I "want to see something cool" any more.

Note: This sounds violent/weird/whatever, but I was pretty sure I was going to marry that girl when I was looking up at her silhouetted by the street light. :P (and no, not in the crazy-lady-YOU-WILL-MARRY-ME-OR-DIE sort of way)

[–]companyShill 49 points50 points ago

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that is awesome. and now i want to marry a ninja.

[–]Soylent_Veal 339 points340 points ago

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Went out with a small group of friends for a birthday and ended up spending somewhere between $60-90 across the table. One of the people in our little group didn't have any cash so everyone gave him the price of their meal + a generous tip (we had received excellent service) in cash and he put the entire meal on his credit card.

This fellow then proceeded to mark out the tip area on the CC card receipt and leave a $5 bill as a tip. This was after everyone else had given him enough extra cash to easily tip 20% without putting in any of his own money above the cost of his meal.

I was so flabbergasted that I didn't even say anything, just locked eyes with him and laid my last $10 bill on top of the $5 he was leaving for the tip. I didn't know a redhead could turn that red with embarrassment before.

Might not be the rudest thing I've seen, but it was the first to jump to my mind. I've always considered it a sign of someone's personality on how well they treat people in a "lower" position than themselves (employees, waiters/waitresses, children, pets, etc).

[–]thekrone 210 points211 points ago* 

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I used to work at a restaurant, and the serving staff would regularly go out for drinks after the dinner shift at a local bar. It was in a college town, and all of us were college aged.

There was a guy who, despite just coming off a busy dinner shift and having plenty of cash on hand, always took it upon himself to collect everyone's cash and pay the bill with his credit card. We asked him why, and he said he just liked to have a lot of cash on hand... just in case. None of us really thought much of it.

Then one day outside of work, I ran into one of the servers from that bar. She informed me that she just quit, and wanted to let me know what a bunch of assholes myself and the group of servers who always went out were. I was shocked, because I knew that everyone always was very nice to our servers and tipped generously (>30%). I told her this, and she said, "Bullshit. You guys leave a flat $10 tip every time you come in." Our bills would regularly be >$300 (we're talking a group of 10-15 people going each time). $10 would be <3.5%... which is insulting.

It then dawned on me what was going on. That asshole was collecting all of the cash, then leaving $10. This means not only did he always get all of his drinks paid for, he actually was profiting off of us. Our bill would be $300, we'd leave $400 (minus his share). He'd put $310 on his card, and walk out drunk and $70-90 richer than he came in.

Needless to say, that prick wasn't allowed to come out with us anymore. He quickly found it hard to get anyone to take his shifts or do him any favors around the restaurant (bussing his tables for him, picking up orders for him, etc.).

It took us a while to regain our reputation at that bar, but we eventually managed to do it by explaining the situation and apologizing profusely to any one who had served us in the past that we recognized, and leaving 50% tips for a couple weeks.

[–]Soylent_Veal 51 points52 points ago

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Jesus, and to his own too. You, my friend, are a lot more diplomatic than I would have been.

[–]thekrone 71 points72 points ago* 

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He was pretty well told off. Some of the people in the group wanted to kick his ass, but we settled for making his life at work hell instead. Without any support from fellow servers, your job is ten times harder. A lot of times, one server will have some downtime while you are ridiculously busy. For non-assholes, that server will help you out by bussing your empty tables or going to pick up an food order for you or something. For him, he was all on his own. As a result, his overall service went downhill, and he lost out on tips because of it.

We even got people who weren't in the group that regularly went out together to treat him like shit. No one would cover shifts when he needed them covered (which was a big deal at our restaurant, because if you couldn't get someone to cover, regardless of how much notice you gave, you HAD to show up, or be fired). The hosts started conveniently seating him more than his fair share of obviously foreign tables (it's not just a stereotype - they don't tip... or at least not well). He appealed to one of the managers, but they just shrugged it off and told him to deal with it.

I really didn't feel bad. He was a pretty big asshole all around.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Considering he was a brazen asshole THIEF, he got what was coming to him. Good on you.

[–][deleted] 99 points100 points ago

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People don't tip in my country, but whenever I go out to eat with people and there is a group bill and people are confused about who pays for what, I pay the missing amount. If I do this during my whole life time, the amount will probably be under 2000 euros, and people always think that im the coolest guy on the planet.

[–]Benjaphar 56 points57 points ago

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You are cool. Want to go get some dinner?

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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Sure, take a flight to Finland and give me a call someday!

[–]arkosh 103 points104 points ago

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You can definitely tell a lot about somebody from the way they are.

[–]catmoon 107 points108 points ago

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This pisses me off so much. There's another equally annoying scenario that happens to me quite often where everyone has cash and chips in. Some guy counts the money and decides that the tip is too generous and decides to take a couple bucks back. This person is never the one who overtipped.

[–]bxblox 35 points36 points ago

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The old, "Woah! Ten dollar tip? Lemme take a few bucks for some smokes." Last time I ever made a group order at work. If I put in a tip, it's all for them. Were do these people come from?

[–]mingl 78 points79 points ago

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Group bills are always difficult. One time a large group from a workshop I was attending swarmed a restaurant - probably 25-30 people there. For some reason the restaurant decided to keep us as one enormous bill. As people finished their meal, they'd just give cash to the remaining people (what they thought they owed) and eventually there were only about 10 people left. The bill comes back and we realize that we're $150 short of the bill without tip. We took the other people on their word, and as you can imagine the rest of us were pissed that we had to make up the difference.

And another time a friend of mine was invited to a bridal shower at a really fancy restaurant. Since they were mostly all students she and the friends she knew decided to eat a bit beforehand, so they could just order appetizers or small plates to save money. However, when they got there, they were informed by the maid of honor that the meal was a prix fix of $80 (which included drinks, tip, taxes). Obviously the girls were a bit put out; my friend decided not to eat or drink but stayed to support the bride. Well apparently this wasn't appropriate and next day she was chewed out for not paying/eating by the maid of honor! Talk about stupid.

[–]GabrielMSharp 23 points24 points ago

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"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

[–]sambojomo 40 points41 points ago

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It's really fucking rude, your friend basically stole money from all of you.

[–]CX3 19 points20 points ago* 

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I work as a waiter in a pretty nice place. (1 dish ranges from 15-70 dollars)

Once there was these 5 families, 17 persons in total. They already booked a table, so everything was set. In the beginning I asked them "Do you want me to take separate tabs?" and they answered no. So they ordered and everything. The whole meal went fine. Then came the payment. They asked for the bill, I fetched the bill and gave it to them. Then they say "Well, we want separate bills". Then I think fine, and tell them "I you give me the cards I will just split everything". But no-no... Everyone wanted to pay for what they had ordered, and you guys not in the restaurant might not know how much of an hell this is. Well, I'll guide you through the process.

  1. Try to figure out what everyone has ordered. EXTREMELY time consuming, I had to ask my fellow waiters to cover for me. (The restaurant was fully booked, which made it a hell for them) 1.1 A lot of things are missing, try to figure out WHO ordered the extra beer. 1.2 Everything gets sorted out.
  2. I have to cancel the previous bill, which is a hell of signatures from bosses etc.
  3. I have to create new bills and put everything in it's place.
  4. I have to print out new receipts.

Then I gave them the 5 new bills, still being nice and polite as the tip-whore I am.

Then they gave me everything back, and what do I see, NO ONE, yes, NO ONE gave ANYTHING in tips. And this was a 2000 dollar bill I'm talking about.

Sure, in my country you don't have to give tips. But everyone gives about 10% because that's what you normally do. These guys seemed satisfied with my services and very satisfied after the meal, so I expected about 20%.

And the worst part was when they left. They said "Thank you, this was REALLY great, we'll definitely be coming back soon". And they still did not tip ANYTHING.

So, if you are in a large group of people, please make sure in the beginning, if you want to have separate tabs, tell the waiter. And leave tips.

Tl;dr A huge group of people ate at the restaurant where I work, gave me half an hour of extra work and did not tip anything.

[–]FigNinja 15 points16 points ago

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This is why it is very common in the US to see restaurants charge a 15-20% service fee on large parties. Even without the extra work they gave you with the bill, large groups tend to be harder to serve. The kitchen gets flooded with orders that normally would be spread out. Getting them all out together is a challenge. They tend to keep their tables longer, too. And they often balk at leaving an adequate tip when they see their large bill. They'll see a $2000 tab and think they shouldn't be obliged to pay $200-$400 for a few hours work. They don't stop to put themselves in the servers shoes and think how they would feel if their boss gave them a surprise pay cut.

[–]DigitalEvil 37 points38 points ago

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I had something similar happen with my birthday. It was late, close to midnight, and some of my friends and I went out to try to catch a movie. When we missed the final showing time we stopped at a restaurant to get some food. It was nearing midnight there and the restaurant was going to be shutting down yet they sat us anyways.

The waitress had to come by our table 5 times before my friends were ready to order; each time she would let us know that the kitchen would be shutting down in 20 min, 15 min, 10 min. Each time she seemed a little more annoyed at how long my friends were taking to order. Finally we got our orders in and our food came out shortly with the waitress obviously annoyed. My friends were making ridiculous requests of her for their meals and such and she was letting her agitation known. While I didn't find her attitude to be appropriate for a server, I understood her frustration.

When the bill came, we all paid our portion minus the tip. I was expecting my friends to leave a few bucks each but they literally didnt want to pay anything. I felt really bad and put the rest of my cash on the table for her. Even though she was rude, my friends were inconsiderate in the fact that we were eating while they were closing. And to delay their close and keep her late by almost an hour and not give her a tip just seemed unfair.

[–]whyihatepink 110 points111 points ago

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About ten years ago, I got to visit Europe with some friends and a professor. One of the friends grew up pretty wealthy, and got pretty much anything he asked for. At the time, Oakleys were all the rage, and extremely expensive ($200-300 a pop iirc). This guy managed to lose his, and had his parents send him money for new ones, not once, but twice. So after this guy has dropped $600 on sunglasses within a week, he had the audacity to tell us he didn't have enough money for his meal after he'd already eaten it- he also ordered a ton of really expensive food. So everyone else is forced to fork over our own money to pay for his meal. When we got back to the hotel he thanked us for the "gift", and declined he owed us any money, since it was a friendly favor. Clearly.

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points ago

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While he was asleep, you should have stolen his Oakleys and sold them on the street to recoup some of your loss.

His gift to you.

[–]killingmelarry 139 points140 points ago

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They already did that twice, didn't you read the story?

[–]wtfrara 15 points16 points ago

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Douches of that caliber sleep with them on.

[–]GloriousPaperWait 33 points34 points ago

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Did you kindly tell him to go fuck himself?

[–]verdantx 35 points36 points ago

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Sounds like you should stop making friends with...

     * shades *

...shady characters.

[–]pityh00r 110 points111 points ago

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On the bus some teen mom comes on with a bunch of bags and a massive stroller filled with crap (and a baby) and starts giving the dirtiest looks to a woman sitting in the front courtesy seats. After the woman doesn't acknowledge her, teen mom says "Ummm.. can you MOVE PLEASE?!" and the woman looks incredibly startled and mumbles an apology and reaches for her walking stick. Yep. She was blind. It was awful. The teen mom looked embarrassed but also didn't back down and apologize and forced the blind woman to move to a different seat. Others sitting closer helped her out as teen mom's crap was all over the place.

[–]Eledh 32 points33 points ago

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Wow. Over here the "courtesy" seats as you called them are for the elderly and disabled, not for people who bought too much crap.

[–]Roxinos 50 points51 points ago

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Apparently, being a teen mom is a disability.

[–]SmartAssery 21 points22 points ago

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Well... Nah, too easy.

[–]notametaphor 37 points38 points ago

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Why yes, she was.

[–]friendlyfire 47 points48 points ago

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Couples with entitlement issues who bring babies to LOUD MOVIES at the theater. And then refuse to take them out of the theater or keep them quiet when they cry.

I sat through Wolfman and a baby was crying through half of it. Everytime there was a loud/action part the baby started crying. I was nearly ballistic. Some people yelled at them to shut it up and they yelled back. I really should have gone and gotten a manager, but I didn't want to take 5-10 minutes out of watching the movie to go complain.

I've done it in the past though.

[–]IAreSeriousCat 22 points23 points ago

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I know that parents deserve Adult Time just as much as anyone else, but I do not understand why people do this. As unpleasant as it is for everyone else in the theater, it has to be doubly unpleasant for the parents. What's the motivation?

If I ran a movie theater, I'd have a little childcare room in it, like at Ikea. I'd charge a reasonable price for the service and nobody who couldn't reliably avoid shitting in their pants would be allowed into PG-13 or R-rated movies.

[–]superiority 17 points18 points ago

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A movie theatre I know runs a "parents' screenings" that you're supposed to bring your baby to so all the little fuckers can scream at each other.

[–]virtueandwine 133 points134 points ago

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Mine is similar to yours.. I was young and at swim practice, an Asian man was dropping his two daughters off at the pool for practice as well. This woman in a tank of an SUV was annoyed at him for stopping in front of the entrance (he was seriously there for maybe a minute) and yelled "GO BACK TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM, CHINAMAN!" In front of his children and everything.. I remember being embarrassed and appalled :(

[–]James_dude 146 points147 points ago

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I'm more worried that he felt it was okay to defecate in a public swimming pool

[–]DeaconBlues 82 points83 points ago

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Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature...

[–]TheBigPanda 93 points94 points ago

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I live in China and the Chinese have no sense of privacy (I am gonna leave all the cultural background and reasoning behind on this one). Every single time I go to the cinema people will talk loudly into their phones often for 10-15 mins while the movie is running. If they arrive more than one you can also be certain that at least 5-6 couples in the theatre will have a running conversation during 90 percent of the movie. They can also be extremely rude in daily life. My friends pregnant girlfriend overheard being referred to as a "fat cow" several times during her pregnancy by random people she passed on the street. They openly talk about you in Chinese not giving a damn if they think you can hear/understand them and pointing you out to their friends and children if they see you on the street. It usually goes something like this. "Look! A foreigner! Over there!" (gesticulating wildly towards me). His 2 friends will stop and stare at me until I've walked past them. Then they'll go "He's so fat!" "All foreigners are fat", "And did you see his nose? So big", "His hair was strange", "They are all strange. Foreigners can't learn Chinese either", "Ah, so he can't understand us?", "No,, they are fat and stupid" (laughing). The concept of queuing is unknown here in China as well. EVERYTIME I am waiting to pay for something some guy or girl will run to the teller and throw the stuff he wants on the desk. The weirdest thing is that the clerk always let them do that.

[–]Codeegirl 44 points45 points ago

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I was at an outdoor free concert, right up front in my wheelchair. Some drunk lady decided that instead of going around/behind me to get to the other side, she'd step ON my lap and over me.

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

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Working at a pharmacy brings up the ugly side of people, especially when they're at drive-thru, they assume that a window separating us means that they can act like total assholes, swearing and flipping us off for inconvenience.

Then there are the impatient twats who constantly honk their horn while I'm helping someone. Instead of coming into the damn pharmacy to pick up their medication, they would call the pharmacy while in line at the drive thru and yell at whoever picks up the phone. This one lady actually said something along the line of "You guys need to compensate me like what McDonalds would do when they make their customers wait too long."

There are numerous instances where people start punching the bullet-proof window with their fist out of anger, this other lady parked her car in drive thru for 2 whole hours while spouting racist tirade just because her doctor won't authorize her anymore refills. She thought that blocking drive thru would make things inconvenient for us (unfortunately for her we got other tasks finished). Half the time the customers get mad, it isn't even our fault, it's either the doctor or insurance company and we're the punching bag. Working at a pharmacy in the US pretty much turned me into a misanthropist :/

[–]Gurupup 124 points125 points ago

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Reddit, was this rude? 20 years ago when I was in the first grade there was a child in a wheelchair in my class. This kid was MEAN! He would purposely run over the other kids feet, throw things, curse at us, and destroy our projects. (OK so he probably had some emotional issues but he was still a bully) Since I was a good student the teacher sat him next to me and asked me to help him when I could. And I really did try but he was always rude. One day while I was in the bathroom he took out scissors and cut up my favorite troll folder. MY FAVORITE! When I got back and saw it I flipped. I pushed all his books off his desk and told him to pick them up himself. He started shaking his fist at me and saying, "Why I otta, I otta..." And I shouted, "What are you gonna do? RUN after me?" The teacher saw this and I was sentenced to 2 weeks of "sensitivity" training. Nothing happened to him. I'm still pissed.

[–][deleted] 58 points59 points ago

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Haha, 20 years ago and the classic, "Why I oughta..." threats.

[–]ElwoodDowd 83 points84 points ago* 

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I work I.T. in schools, and one day at one of our schools, the following occurred:

I was installing a Smartboard with another technician in a classroom while two teachers (that classroom's teacher, a younger man, and a music teacher, an older lady from a different school in our district) chatted about their work.

Ignoring the two, we started work at 3:45 or so, just after the kids let out, and a few minutes later an announcement came over the school's speaker system "Could the owner of the vehicle blocking the wheelchair ramp please move their vehicle."

My coworker and I look at each other, the young teacher looks at us judgmentally, and I tell my coworker that I'll go make sure it isn't us.

It wasn't and we get back to work. We finish putting the board and projector up at a few minutes to five, but during the install every five minutes the following messages are sent over the intercom (times are approximations):

• 4:00 - "Could the owner of the vehicle blocking the wheelchair ramp please move their vehicle." In an angrier tone.

• 4:05 - "There is a dark blue SUV blocking the wheelchair ramp, can you please move your vehicle."

• 4:10 - "We have a staff member who is disabled and needs to use the ramp to get home. Can the owner of the SUV please..."

• 4:15 - "We have a staff member who is bound to a wheelchair, can the owner of vehicle with the license plate number ###-### move their SUV."

• And so on until five, with increasing detail and anger.

At 4:57, packing up our tools, there is an announcement where the secretary just didn't care anymore and just yelled the message as if scolding a child.

The old teacher on our classroom, who has been chatting about her work with a giant smile on her face for over an hour stands up and scoffs: "Oh, I'm sure I left enough room." and leaves the classroom to move her car.

I was mad about this for days.

[–]rayray21 122 points123 points ago

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Headed to the DMV at lunch one day. Had just stopped off at Jamba Juice and purchased a large carrot juice. Pull up to stoplight and must make a u-turn to reach my final destination. There are two turn lanes, so I chose the outside lane so that after my u-turn, I don't have to switch lanes. (inside lane is u-turn ONLY, outside lane is left turn OR u-turn)

It's a warm summer afternoon, so I have my window down, carrot juice in hand. Woman from the inside turn lane (remember - u-turn ONLY) decides that she is only going to make a left turn - not a u-turn and forces herself into my lane and narrowly avoids the front end of my car. It forces me to make a left turn as well and we end up on the road next to each other.

My first concern was "Oh my god - I almost just got in an accident". That was, until the woman rolled down her passenger window and proceeded to yell at me for getting in her way. She rolled her window up quickly and gave me the finger.

I think the best part of the whole ordeal was the expression on her face when she saw just how well a large cup of carrot juice can coat her entire car with a lovely shade of orange.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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Well played.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points ago

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There was always this old black guy in a wheelchair I used to see while driving to school on MLK. He had no legs, always just rolling up and down the street. One day I was driving and I saw a bunch of youths surrounding the guy, and they had a camera. They pulled him off his wheelchair and let him slump to the ground, filming him and pushing him back off as he was trying to get back into it. I was so angry I wanted to stop them myself, but I was too scared so I just called the cops on them instead. I still regret not having more courage to stand up to them myself but I knew at 4'11'' I wouldn't stand a chance. Not rude I guess, but definitely the cruelest I've seen.

[–]crummydustbunny 206 points207 points ago

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I was at a mcdonalds and I had just finished ordering. I fell to the back of the store, waiting, and watching the other hungry guests eagerly fall into que waiting to place their orders. It was fairly busy, with about 10 people waiting to order. It was a weekday. I noticed an elderly white male, I mean OLD. Cane, hunch, and all. He had a mcflurry in his hand, and he seemed to be trying to return it. I couldn't hear them from afar, but then the old man suddenly spoke up... 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T RETURN IT?' The young black girl looked shook up, giving him condolences that from afar I could not make out. The old man spoke again: 'WHY DO THEY LET BLACKS EVEN WORK?!' He took the top off his mcflurry, raised it high in the air, turned it upside down and slammed it onto the counter making a huge mess and getting all over the girl and the counter.

Everyone in the store fell silent, the old man just strolled away and the girl retreated to the back room, as the manager and her co workers cleaned up the mess.

[–]haywood132000 108 points109 points ago

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:( that old dude's an asshole

[–][deleted] 158 points159 points ago

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don't worry if the manager didn't get him, time will.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Syphon8 74 points75 points ago

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I was swimming with one of my friends when I was 11 or 12 at the local pool when some kid I've never seen before swam up to us, and started insulting us. Speaking lewdly of our mothers and such. We swam away.

He found us. Repeat.

3 movements later, I started to swim, but turned around and gave him a black eye. 20 minutes later, I saw him crying at the side of the pool, icing his eye. I doubt he continues to insult strangers.

[–]theShatteredOne 69 points70 points ago

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Wish I could do this to the kids over Xbox Live.

[–]Snes 28 points29 points ago

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Just imagine if the Xbox controller has a comical boxing glove inside it that comes out and slams you in the face if everyone in the game decides you deserve it.

[–]Hesparian 32 points33 points ago

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When I was a Freshman in High School, there was a guy name Nate who was a year younger than me. Before I got my first car we rode on the same bus. During this year Nate's mother committed suicide by shooting herself with a pistol. Nate, was excused from school for two weeks to grieve with his family and resumed school, instead, after five days. Ladies and gentlemen of Reddit, on Nate's first day back, the bus ride home was noisy as usual and Nate sat alone as usual. Until a mindless classmate of his, without thought directed a " Your Mom" joke/comeback to him personally. Nate started crying, and slowly stood up and stood above his classmate, just staring as tears rolled down his face. Without missing a beat the same kid raises his voice and says very sarcastically and mockingly, " Ohhh, yeah that's right..." and proceeds to stick his two fingers ( pointer and middle) into his mouth, imitating a gun, made a loud explosion sound and puffed out his cheeks, as if the gun went off inside his mouth. And then proceeded to whiplash back from the blast and fall to the seat. That day, every student on that bus, watched a smaller, younger and weaker Nate violently thrash this boy's head against the bus window as he screamed and cried.

[–][deleted] ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[–]Kaluthir 56 points57 points ago

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I believe the technical term is "snot rocket"

[–]pdclkdc 110 points111 points ago

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driving to work every day. somedays i'm the asshole, somedays it's everyone else. most days it's probably both.

[–]killfish 169 points170 points ago

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ha, reminds me of this...

"I hate it when drivers don't let me into the lane I need in, even though I'm signaling. Seriously, they speed up to be assholes. Another thing I hate is when I'm driving along minding my own business and some asshole tries to get into the lane in front of me. I usually speed up to teach him a lesson."

  • some redditor

[–]legendary_ironwood 32 points33 points ago

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Reminds me of,

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?" - G. Carlin

[–][deleted] ago* 

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[deleted]

[–]creepyredditloaner 60 points61 points ago

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When I first moved to Florida I still hadn't gotten any of several jobs I was interviewing for so in the mean time I worked at a group of three hotels on PCB.

One night the security guard came to get me from the lobby (I am 6'5" 250lbs) to back him up in evicting some people. When we got up to the room beyond the normal destruction from the people partying they had bought a chainsaw from Wal-Mart and cut a door sized hole out of the wall between the room they were in and the room full of girls next-door.

[–]gbs5009 55 points56 points ago

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While I hate rudeness on principle, that's getting ridiculous enough to actually be kind of awesome.

[–]flexxilexi 55 points56 points ago* 

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Maybe not the rudest thing, but on the subway in Boston I'd regularly see young, able-bodied people grabbing the "Please leave this seat available for the elderly or disabled" seating. Headphones on. Surrounded by little old ladies with canes or heavily-pregnant women.

I can be a bitch, so I'd routinely ask them if they'd mind giving up their seat for someone in greater need.

*I realize not everyone who appears able-bodied is able-bodied, but 9 times out of 10 the person would look sheepish and stand up. That other 1 time, they'd tell me to fuck off.

Edited to add that I offered up my seat to anyone who looked like they needed it more than I did. I'm not a complete asshole.

[–]Connels 130 points131 points ago

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This blows me away. I feel like this happened every time I rode the T. Businessmen were the worst.

I live in New Orleans now and it's almost the exact opposite - people give up their seats all the time. One time I was in this huge group of people waiting for the streetcar. There were these two very old guys waiting with the rest of us. The streetcar finally comes and everyone's all anxious to get on since it's been like a hour since the last car. Then all of a sudden this absolute gangster dude - huge muscles, tattoos everywhere, baggy pants, doo rag, wife beater - tells us all that we will wait for the old men to get on. So we did. Another person even helped one of the guys up the stairs. And then the other old guy cried and said it was the one of nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. And all I could think was that this would never happen in Boston.

[–]hammah 28 points29 points ago

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A lot of people walk by my house, often with dogs, to get to a trailhead at the end of my street. As you can imagine I get stuck picking up a lot of dog crap from ignorant/rude pet owners.

I watched a lady stop to let her dog crap on my lawn and then start to walk away. I asked her if I could get her a plastic bag to pick it up but she basically ignored me and kept going.

I bagged it myself, jumped in my car and went looking for her. I saw her a few blocks away going towards her front door, stopped in front of her house, tooted my horn and yelled to her that she had forgotten something "back there". I then threw the bag at her house where it basically exploded against the wall next to her head.

Man that felt good!

[–]dahv 26 points27 points ago

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Many things Chinese (I live on the mainland) do seem incredibly rude to Westerners, but are normal to them. Cutting in line, shouting louder than someone else to get the attention of a service worker, etc.

My rudest story: I was at the grocery and had some oranges and bananas to weigh (in large Chinese groceries your produce is weighed and priced before you go to the checkout counter). The service attendant had weighed the oranges, and I was in the motion of handing him the bananas, when an old lady next to me threw her produce directly onto the scale.

Now, in China, when someone cuts you, you have about a second to react and claim your spot, or else the attendant will serve the cutter.

But in this instance I was so shocked I said nothing. I just looked over at this old lady. Even by Chinese standards, she was being rude. The scowl on her face told me that she was in bad mood, or just didn't like foreigners, or both.

tl;dr Some old Chinese lady "produce blocked" me.

[–]redsundance 25 points26 points ago

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I used to be a server at Macaroni Grill in a city where it was probably the nicest restaurant; so the customers we had acted like they were in a five star restaurant, demanding the same level of service. Usually this wasn't an issue, I was a good server and was never really overwhelmed, we had a good staff that helped each other out so even if things got tough I could just ask.

So as a Server Developer, I was the lead on large parties. This one time a party of 30 came in and sat what we called the 'champagne room'. The leader of the group, a small middle aged man, balding, overweight and outspoken, came up to me and introduced himself. I thought, how nice, someone with manners, and continued serving them.

Now the issue came up when the entire group of 30 needed their salads sent out and their drinks refilled, I had my partner on the table start refilling their drinks while I took out the salads five at a time on a tray. Knowing the middle aged man was the reason for the meal I served he and his wife their plates first, he kindly asked me for a roll-up [silverware] as he didn't have one. Of course, I said, I'll bring it out when I have all the salads out.

Now at this moment, one of the few kids in the group knocked over their drink all over the table, my partner went to clean it up and I refilled the remaining drinks and went back to the salad serving. When I was done with this, maybe three minutes later, I walk over to the macro station and grab a roll-up only to turn around and be facing the middle aged man.

He sticks his fat finger into my chest and jabs me with each word, 'I asked for silverware, how am I supposed to eat my salad without a fork, you idiot'. Being a tall guy, I kind of peer down at him and just hand him the roll-up in my hand, not saying anything. I follow him back to the table and ask if everyone is okay, everything is copacetic so I proceed to enter their orders into the macro.

This is a laborious process for such a large group with their own additions and subtractions to each plate, right as I am finishing up my manager comes up to me and tells me i'm off the table. Naturally I'm shocked, seeing as everything was fine, my manager tells me the middle aged man complained that I was rude and wasn't moving quick enough. Now this would be fine if it were true, but I had managed to get drinks and salads out to a group of 30 in less than 15 minutes after their arrival, that's good time by any measure.

Unfortunately my section was with the large table, so I had to serve the tables around this group. The first time I went back I heard him loudly exclaim, to my partner that had taken over the table, 'what happened to the other guy! did he retire? hahaha'

My partner didnt say anything but I turned around and smiled at him, 'no sir, i didnt retire, you asked that I stop serving your table'. He was silent, his wife and several other people looked at him with quizzical faces, his wife asks, 'why did you do that?', to which he had no answer.

So as the group was leaving this mans wife had him walk up to me, hand me $20 and apologize, it was a pretty nice ending to an otherwise shitty situation.

[–]Unidan 24 points25 points ago

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It was a few weeks ago in NY when it snowed pretty bad, so we were digging out a friend's car that is completely buried. We see this old lady trying to dig her car out with a windshield scraper, so we ask if we can help dig her car out.

"I guess," she mutters.

So the three of us, and her nice neighbor come and start digging her car out. It takes us like 15 minutes, all of us working pretty fast with huge shovels to dig her out. One of my friend's shovels breaks because the ice and snow are so tough. She gets in her car, doesn't say a word, and peels out, covering us in dirty snow, nearly hitting a friend of ours and leaves.

That bitch would still be digging her car out if we didn't stop to help.

[–]log1k 48 points49 points ago* 

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Not me, but my friend on facebook had this in her status the other day so I'll post it:

What is wrong with most of the mcmaster students I just rode the bus with? All sitting at the front and letting this extremely old man who can barely stand, stand? Me, being almost 9 months pregnant got up to give him my seat and a student rushed to take it who was getting off the next stop anyway! So rude

I'd fucking smack that kid if I were her.

[–]MariBelle 21 points22 points ago

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I was at the airport in Memphis and was about to walk into the bathroom. I noticed a woman following behind me and another woman following behind her. I walk in and the lady behind me turns around and tells the lady behind her "This is the woman's bathroom" to which the other one responded "I AM A WOMAN!" ha ha, I about died laughing. Granted, the woman in question did look "butch" but she had obvious womanly traits.

[–]SisterNamedJan 43 points44 points ago

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I was driving down a residential road when a car in front of me stopped to open his door and 'clean out his car' - IE throw empty water bottles and fast food bags onto the road. As soon as I started to drive around him, he hit the gas and drove two blocks at about 70 on a residential road just to prevent me from 'passing' him. And then he stopped again.

[–]acreddited 30 points31 points ago

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I love people who take getting passed as a personal insult, and then proceed to drive like a douche to rectify the great injustice that they perceive to have just taken place.

I was driving to Kingston, ON a month or two ago with my girlfriend, and in the process of passing a big rig in the left hand lane, I felt pressured by the speeder behind me to give the big rig less space than I normally would. I didn't cut him off, and he certainly didn't need to touch the brakes - I was at least two car lengths in front of him and still traveling faster.

The trucker proceeded to blast past me and then cut me off and slow down on three separate occasions. I've seen this behavior before, but not from someone who drives as a profession.

[–]dingledog 20 points21 points ago

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A horse sneezed on me at a state fair once.

[–]Duke_the_Pancake 76 points77 points ago

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My uncle had brain cancer, he survived it but it has made him clumsy and a bit feeble. In the church parking lot, on the way to the car with his daughter, he fell. Dozens of "Christians" walked right by and not one offered to help him. My uncle doesn't go to church anymore.

[–]skintension 20 points21 points ago

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During one of the car free days in Brussels, I was riding my bike about 10 meters behind a sweet elderly couple on old Dutch bikes. It was a lovely day out, the sun was shining, the city was quiet from the lack of cars, everyone was out having fun on their bikes.

As we cruised down Koningsstraat towards Botanique, we approached a group of Arab teenagers. One of them walked into the middle of the street and as the elderly couple swerved around him he spit right into the woman's face.

I almost took his head off with my u-lock but managed to contain myself. Pretty much ruined my day though. Fucking racists.

[–]ngroot 31 points32 points ago

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I almost took his head off with my u-lock

Work on your aim.

[–]Sloloem 104 points105 points ago

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When I was in high school I was in the marching band. We had to compete with the sports teams for use of the athletic field to practice. For a few weeks near the end of summer demand is very high between us, the football team, and the soccer team.

One day, the soccer team had gone over their allotted time and we were waiting by the bleachers near the gate in the fence to get onto the field after they'd left. The soccer moms were apparently not please we were cutting into their precious children's practice time and had the idea that we were being given undue favor by the administration (Our marching band had won state championships 15 years running at that point). As we stood there watching them funnel out through the gate and glare at us, one of the moms who was there with several younger children in addition to the player stuck out her foot tripped her own son and then as she helped the boy back up muttered very conspicuously "Damned Bandies!". She tried to convince the child he fell over some of our equipment on the ground.

[–]ShinyRatFace 83 points84 points ago

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I'm not sure if that is rude or just batshit crazy.

[–]noonches 59 points60 points ago

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Wait, she tripped her own child, and then tried to convince him he had tripped over band equipment? Sociopath?

[–]miltonwaddams 21 points22 points ago

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I had a friend ask me to fix his friend's computer. I did and returned it to my friend, I don't even know who's computer I fixed. I was with him later and some girl comes up and gives him a cake (french toast bacon cake, it was ridiculous). I say "what's the cake for?" and he gets quiet and the girl says "Oh, he fixed my computer!". It's not the rudest shit ever, but it just seemed so devious and shitty. I didn't say anything to her and neither did he.

[–]deathdonut 241 points242 points ago

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I was at a order-up-front style restaurant and a family of well-dressed people in front of me ordered food and a round of waters. They then went to fill their drinks and the teenage girl filled her waterglass with a soft drink and gave sort of a smirk.

I kept expecting the parents to say something, but rather than scold or even ignore her, they all filled up their water glasses with various soft drinks.

I waited for them to sit down before I went to their table and said "Don't worry, I'll pay for your drinks. We all go through rough financial times. I recently lost my job and totally understand." They just stared at me open-mouthed while I walked to the register, pointed them out and paid for 3 drinks.

[–]bitwize01 184 points185 points ago

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Maybe not rudest, but most rage-inducing: When I was in college an abortion protester with a giant sign stuck her sign in my face and stood in front of me while I was walking. Basically A man-sized butchered fetus placed right in front of my face.

I ripped the sign out of her hands and broke the wooden prop over my knee. She started making a scene but the enraged death-glare I gave her made her back off.

[–]wartortle 57 points58 points ago

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I would ask her to leave because she was making me hungry.

[–]cultured_banana_slug 19 points20 points ago

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You don't wave posters like that in front of people recovering from a fetus-eating addiction. It's just wrong.

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points ago

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And yes, we did revolt against her. Someone gave her $20 and told her to get the fuck out.

$20? That taught her.

[–]jhra 17 points18 points ago

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When I was in high school I went to this music festival in a stadium, we were in pretty good seats but in front of us were a bunch of total assholes. One guy had a laser pointer and was flashing it around until he found a young kid that was fully strapped into a wheelchair Hawkings style. This asshole spent half an hour shining a fucking laser into the kids eye before some soccer dad looking guy confronted him. As the confrontation was going down the ass was shining the laser in the dad's eyes, then dad right hooked him and the whole crowd cheered him. A few minutes later the ass was arrested.

[–][deleted] 100 points101 points ago

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I hate getting to these things late but here goes anyway. In case anyone reads down to the bottom.

The day after I got married, my new wife and I were flying from Chicago to Maui. This is a 10 hour flight and we were looking forward to spending the day together. Well, it wasn't until we get on the plane that we realize that her seat is 34A and mine is 35G. Opposite sides of the plane (note, this was the airline's fault, I had reserved my seat correctly). We realize what's happening and go to the stewardess, who gives us the "that's too bad for you, but I can't help you" look that customer service reps love to use. She does however suggest we ask people around to give up their seats so we can sit together.

I turn to an older lady sitting next to me (she has the window) and say, "Excuse me. I don't normally do this, but I just got married yesterday, and the airline screwed up our tickets. Would you please mind moving over to the window seat on the other side of the plane so that we could sit next to each other?" This old lady turns to me and says, "No, it would be too disorienting."

I know she was in her rights to not give up her seat, but I wanted to shake her. Luckily the guy next to my wife never showed up so I got to sit with her anyways.

[–][deleted] 99 points100 points ago

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The guy with the seat next to your wife did show up. He was just too disoriented to find it.

[–]openglfan 30 points31 points ago

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Wanna hear a small-world story?

I'm the guy you wound up sitting next to. Red-haired dude. I would've traded with your wife, but my gf and I had crosspacked, so I had a bunch of her stuff in my bag. Sorry man. I still can't believe nobody was willing to take the window.

[–]zap_rowsdower 32 points33 points ago

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When my brothers and I were younger, my Mom used to organize 5k runs a couple of times a year through a civic organization she belonged to. My brothers and I would always work a water station, handing out glasses of water to runners as they passed by. I was probably 12, my brother 8, and a runner had just passed the water station and was headed up a hill. My 8 year old brother was shoved to the pavement by this guy as he passed simply because he was too close to him. Dick.

[–]stealthname 14 points15 points ago

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I was just in Shanghai. It didn't really surprise me how my perception of courtesy doesn't exist there, but still. Appalling how when the subway pulls up, everyone standing in front of the door will shove their way in and the people trying to get out just has to shove their way out. It got to the point where it was just satisfying to also shove people out of their way because they were just never taught to wait. Also, when a near empty train pulls in, everybody RUNS to the seats, and usually it's the old people who end up having to stand (so when they sneeze, they could do so in my face because covering one's mouth when coughing or sneezing also isn't the norm).

Say what you want about people in nyc being jerks, but we are a hell of a lot nicer than you think.

[–]Hellokyochan 15 points16 points ago

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I didn't see it but a nurse that was sent out from a hospice company to help care for my dying Grandmother instead stole her checkbook and cleaned out her bank account. It's one thing to steal from someone it's a totally different thing to steal from someone who is dying that you're supposed to be helping.

Luckily they caught her and another girl who actually cashed the check and they are going through court proceedings now.

[–]JackNco 28 points29 points ago

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I watch an italian man (I asume as I was in rome) push a woman with a pushchair back so he could get in the taxi she was getting in to and leave her in the mid day sun in July in Italy!